Worst Band Names

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duane, I'd have to agree that the Enz had a terrible name - despite the fact that I count myself as a fan. But to be fair, it must be one of the first to make use of deliberate misspelling as novelty memory hook (other than the obvious like Led Zep). I think it's the merciless barrage of 'creative' spellings since, that makes it so cringe-worthy in the rear view. I think Neil sensed this (as he began his 'take-over') and hence, at the very height of their commercial success and international name recognition, the Enz gave way to the House. In turn CH has also been scrapped so Neil can now peddle his songs as a relatively unknown solo act. I respect the fact that he refuses to cash in on a 'brand' for the sake of success. I wish I could say the same for the marketers which insist on slapping "THE SONGWRITING FORCE BEHIND..." labels on every damn thing he does now. I really *should* have posted this on the CH thread - but people seemed to bent on dissin' my boy Neil (despite his fabulous hair n' pants!) that I didn't want to spoil the fun.

― Kim, Wednesday, 30 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The Australian version of Popstars are called Scandal'Us - which is much worse than Hear'Say.

Also, Third Eye Blind is a bad bad name.

― Fidelma Maher, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The Armageddon Dildos.

Band names that I like more than the band itself: Planes Mistaken For Stars (which I lifted for a poem) and Sweep the Leg, Jonny.

― bnw, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

OK Duane, here's a side-splittingly funny band name - THE DEAD C. Get it? 'C'? 'Sea'? Notes? Oh.

― tarden, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Kim-is-Grim claims Split Enz invented the band-name misspelling. Surely this can't be so? But I can't seem to get my Giant Unabridged Oxford Book of Totally Useless Facts open this morning, to check.

And yes, Led Zep certainly doesn't count (besides, they did this so as cleverly not to be mispronounced: as in Lead Zep and all the little follow-up Zeps).

Um, nor do the Beatles, tho I can't think why not.

― mark s, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The Human Beinz - nobody but them!

― tarden, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

dates, Tarden, dates!!! Facts! A fellow needs facts!!

[incidentally, d'you actually work near Islington Sainsbury's car-park? Cuz so do I... ]

― mark s, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Hey, ho, well. Erm. mark, I did say "one of" not THE first, as in the clever-clever novelty simply hadn't gotten old and molden yet. yeh- yeah.

― Kim, Thursday, 31 May 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Tarden you are wrong!! Well, you could be wrong: I can't finetune my pedantometer precisely enough. The Cyrcle ("Red Rubber Ball") and the Cryan Shames ("Sugar'n'Spice" were both operational in 1966: the Human Beinz only really surface in 1967.

Kim: I wasn't trying to score a point (erm, no, not at all) — I was just certain that misspelling went back some way before the Enz era, even. So "one of" would be misleading.

This all only counts if we also discount the Surfaris, of course.

― mark s, Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

what about the Sun Ra Arkestra? if you say it with a american accent it's just a mis-spelling rather than a neologism(?right?)(i'm trying it out now, saying "arkestra" & "orchestra" over & over w/ various "american" accents. [but real quietly 'cause my girlfriend's asleep]...uh yeah, OK, not *that* convincing....)

― duane z., Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Lavemang-smugglarna Kristet utseende the knark

they might not seem so bad for the non swedes but just trust me on this one mkay?

― Anders Loco, Saturday, 2 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I have a tape of Low playing a radio show in Minnesota in '96; after their set is done, the DJ mentions a few upcoming shows by other bands. One of those shows was a double-bill of "Voodoo Love Mint" and "Puddle Wonderful". I always found those to be quintessential bad indie-band names; much like the entire oeuvre of They Might Be Giants, it harkens back to all the unfunny people I knew in high school and college who, among other things, believed that Pythonesque absurdity could be had merely by putting together incongruous adjectives and nouns.

Trying to name a band is hard as hell; to pick something out that conveys a bit of what you do -- but without sounding pretentious or jokey or nondescript -- is amazingly difficult. The more serious your band is, the harder it gets.

― Phil, Sunday, 3 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Oh, and yes, I know that "puddle wonderful" is a cummings phrase. It doesn't matter, though; such an allusion, clever as it may be, does not prevent the name from initially annoying me. And, let's face it -- we do, human as we are, overlook great bands, books, movies and so on, because they're badly named. How many people have skipped Chet Raymo's The Dork of Cork because, at a glance, they thought it was a jokey book about a very absorbent phallus, rather than a lovely lyrical tale about an Irish dwarf?

― Phil, Sunday, 3 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Yogi Phlegm (jazz-rock fusion band from the early 70s).

― scott, Monday, 4 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Planes Mistaken For Stars (which I lifted for a poem)

Paul Westerberg stole that one too ;)

― Larms, Wednesday, 6 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Nembrionic Hammerdeath

Gotta love them metal bands.

― Nathan, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

one month passes...

Stryper is horrible and R.E.M with all the "it doesn't mean rapid eye movement" business is horrible as well.

― Lindsey B, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Apparently the most popular band at my friend Matt's Long Island high school was named...

"Tijuana Caravan"

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

RAPEMAN....but I like the record.

― David, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It is in tribute to Japanese comic, no?

Built To Spill is a winner (or is that loser?). Moldy Peaches.

NERD (like the record though).

Daft Punk.

Any band with number.

dB's (or is that Deebees? DBs? db-s?).

THE BEATLES.

Modest Mouse.

Guided by Voices (christian rock in beercan disguise).

― nathalie, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I forgot to mention: DAAU (aka Die Anarchistische Abent Unterhaltung)

― nathalie, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fluff, fluff, fluff and the cuddleyness

dalek beach party

― flowersdie, Wednesday, 15 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Somebody mentioned Rapeman. Would that apply to the Amboy Dukes as well?

― dave q, Wednesday, 15 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

"Steamboat Willie & The Electric Techno Buttplugin' MuthaFuckas'. ........and that's the truth!!!

― Jedeye Jonzee, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mott the Hoople. Seriously stupid name for anything, let alone a band.

― thomas boyd, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Llama Farmers crap name crap band.

In defence of Prefab Sprout old Paddy Sprout sez he's was trying to sound as unlike the rest of the postpunk acts as possible so picked a name which sounded like a late 60's/early 70's prog band.

― Billy Dods, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And, I believe, McAloon originally thought of the name in 1973 anyway.

― Robin Carmody, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

Super Furry Animals anybody?

― Dave S, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How about the Rainbow Butt Monkeys?

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Groove Armada. I mean, really. Come on.

Aleka's Attic and Alisha's Attic.

― Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Reigndance. Ugh.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

so you haven't changed your mind on that one, nicole?

killing joke is still the stupidest

― mark s, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I forgot I posted it before. But I just like typing it anyway.

Reigndance, Reigndance, Reigndance!

― Reigndance, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh Killing Joke clearly is not the stupidest name. How can it possibly be the stupidest when there's another band out there that decided to call themslves Helloween?

Reigndance is pretty terrible tho. And Dalek Beach Party.... whuhh...

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think 'Lubricated Goat' wins it.

Although 'Scraping Foetus off the Wheel' was always a favorite.

― Dave225, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Umm, I love them completely, but how can they write such wonderful lyrics & still have decided to call themselves the Pet Shop Boys?
Don't most jam bands have atrocious names?
Cutesy riot grrl band names get on my nerves, for the most part. Emily's Sassy Lime.
Superchunk is a terrible name.
the Murder City Devils. sounds like hockey night to me.
Tortoise being named what they are, I ought to have known what I was getting into.

― daria gray, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Two words: Vaginal Croutons

― cybele, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blendband
The Church (love the band, hate the name)

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the internet age the worst possible name is definitely "The The". Impossible to find them on the web with Google (which ignores the article "the" in the query) or to find them on Amazon (same reason). Matt Johnson should seriously think of a new name. "TheThe" would be ok with me.

― alex in mainhattan, Tuesday, 27 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As a New Yorker of semitic extraction, I could never quite get my head around the idea that there was a rapper called "The Lox.

― Marcel Post, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he shoulda been called the finelox!

― Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"people I knew in high school and college who, among other things, believed that Pythonesque absurdity could be had merely by putting together incongruous adjectives and nouns."

An Emotional Fish. Nggh.

― OleM, Saturday, 8 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Simply Saucer=fruitiest name ever. Thimply Thauther, dahling.

― Arthur, Saturday, 8 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

There are a couple of incredibly stupid band names I've came across...

- Scary German Guy - Anal Blast - The Meatshits - Old Lady Drivers - Asshole Parade

― Bryant G., Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Try this on for size:
The Canonical List of Weird Band Names

― Lord Custos, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, waitaminute. Try this one. It's more up to date.
The Even More Canonical List of Weird Band Names
Go nuts.

― Lord Custos, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Coldplay. What the fuck is it meant to mean anyway?

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No Time for Talking was Campbell Kneale's [Birchville Cat Motel etc] band when he was a teenager in my hometown, Nelson.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wet Wet Wet
Big Head Todd and the Monsters
Throbbing Gristle
Mike and the Mechanics

New Zealand bands: Pumpkinhead
The Dribbling Darts of Love
Betchadupa
Crowded House
Fuck Off Cuntface
Straitjacket Fits
Semi Lemon Kola
S.P.U.D. [society for the protection of unborn dogs]
Cassandra's Ears
Proud Scum (hmmm...actually I'm not sure about this one...maybe i'm just used to hearing it, or i'm silly/stupid enough to maybe like it)
Love's Ugly Children
i heartily second An Emotional Fish for worst, but i defend Def Leppard!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ah the Dribbling Darts of Love. Their hideous moniker prevented a significantly younger me from going anywhere near their record, despite the fact it was actually quite good

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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