Lady Gaga, Pussycat Dolls and a Taxonomy of Vacuous Pop

ooh Poker face is no.1?!! see, i'm not THAT late on this one

judging various parts of "Poker Face" seems like a fools game to me considering they all suck

― prins tuomas (The Reverend), Thursday, April 2, 2009 3:07 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LOL

waht

http://i44.tinypic.com/2z4fx9s.jpg

(after you get over the pantyhose shock: I hope those guys are dancing)

jesus christ

no words

her existence is a joke, right?

then the joke is on me

we're all soaking in the joke

ewww

There's some flesh-colored panties on under there right?

But re: Poker face, the melodic chorus really is so much better than the rap-lite verses and especially the pu-pu-pokerface breakdown which is just awful. Same deal, to a lesser extent with Just Dance, the verses are actually cool but her "hip hypnotic gin-n-tonic chronic" bridge thing kinda derails the song, and the version with Kardinal Offishull or whatever retarded way he spells his name is even worse. How did this schmuck become the go-to Canadian dancehall guest MC for pop songs? That Dangerous song was banging but would have been so much better with a better rapper on it.

"i'm bluffin' with my muffin" ?!?!?!?

Fuck you, Kardinal Offishal is great. He's just a bit past his prime.

Actually, the problem with him currently is more that he's stuck making all these bad pop moves than that he's lost anything, but seriously, he's behind a lot of banging shit.

his verse on the "just dance" remix is pretty cool imo

the single he had w/ clipse was great also, "dangerous" is bullshit tho

I knew someone would come back at me with a well-thought out defense of Offishal. Mind you that I know nothing of his illustrious past in the Canadian dancehall scene and am basing my dislike of him purely on the recent radio songs he has pissed all over.

And you gotta admit that spelling is pretty stupid.

his verse on the reggae remix of "grindin" is also a classic

Verse 3: Kardinal Offishall
Kardi, yo, yo, they just keep holdin me, won't let go, provokin me
Niggas tryin to stop my doe
Well if it isn't, Mr. Canadian (BO!!!!) Mr. Canuck
T Dot niggas (Pharrell: Grindin!) we don't give a (BO!!!!)
Mr. Kardinal steal dem fronts out of your mouth
Flip it for a pound of herb and sell it in front of your house
Badbwoy big talk put this somethin pon cock
Whine out yuh dutty claat down south to up north
Weh di man dem a seh? Five plus two yo we flip that a (Ten)
Mek di english pound di paste up plus di (Yen)
Still fire pon a fassy and grind di gal dem (How yuh mean?)
Seen, come again, we mek di green yuh know,
Swell it to di seem yuh know
Chronic supersonic tonic juggle it to a fiend yuh know
Mr. Kardinal deal with the mic rockin V.A. to the dot
Stop whinin when we (Pharell: Grinding!)

He's more of a rap artist w/ strong dancehall influences than a dancehall artist.

These are both circa-01/02

and "rappers be spellin shit wrong" is one the most zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........zzz....

I don't know how anyone gets off on criticizing Kardinal when Lady Gaga exists.

i dont know that i would pass off "the spelling 'offishall' is dumb" as "rappers be spelling shit wrong"

Word roxy. I like plenty of misspelled rap names. It's just this particular one that strikes me as really dumb. I like how I turned this into a Kardinal Offishall thread though.

"Bakardi" is ridiculous too.

The spelling I mean.

I'm listening to "Poker Face" for the first time and it's kind of insulting how many elements they recycle from "Just Dance"; the whole thing strikes me as completely unremarkable. Can someone please point out specifics of why this song is special or enjoyable? On a side note, the "pop music will never be low brow" thing was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, right?

i find Poker Face far more enjoyable than Just Dance because the melody pulls me in much more. I also love all the loopy editing on the vocals and the crunchy synths.

i hear how it's very similar to Just Dance but this isn't something i hear initially, only when it has been pointed out.

Really?? It was the very first thing I heard, especially in the intros. It's like they were locked in a room and had to create every song with exactly the same instruments/effects/etc.

yeah their first few seconds are almost indistinguishable

i guess it just didn't seem that odd to me for 2 songs off the same album to use the same synth sounds

these 2 songs relate to one another in a way that reminds me of how the songs on Confessions on a Dance Floor do.

Also, I know it's extremely silly to attempt to critique lyrical content of modern pop music, but does anyone else find "Just Dance" particularly distasteful? "Go out and get grossly drunk and it's OK if you get raped or something because you can JUST DANCE YOUR CARES AWAY"

not really, that's a pretty common theme

Someone needs to photoshop Andrei Arshavin into that show photo that was linked above.

i just had to google the lyrics to make sure there wasn't actually a line in the song that goes "it's OK if you get raped"

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/?em3106=227515_-1__0_~0_-1_5_2008_0_0&em3161=&em3281=

^^^^important video

Actually this makes me really love the song while it's playing.

youtube

what a world

muh muh muh maah

can't believe i'm posting this, but a series of really good interviews w/lady gaga on youtube:

part 1
part 2
part 3

That Nosferatu YouTube is tremendous.

What in the fuck

http://12.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kq4it9PWag1qz6dydo1_500.png

http://blip.tv/file/2599151?utm_source=featured_ep&utm_medium=featured_ep

Oompa Loompa, do-be-de do
I've got another
crap outfit for you

Oompa Loompa, do-be-de de
If you want to look like a tool
then dress just like me

Why not wear a bin liner to work?
Look like an attention seeking jerk

Top it off with fake tan and a hat
Then you'll look like a prat

I don't like the look of it.

Oompa Loompa do-be-de da
If you wear odd clothes
you can be a pop star

You will get a number one or two
Like the Oompa Loompas do-be-de do

Do-be-de do

she ugly

christina aguilera has made uneven fake tan her trademark, its prolly an ironic reference

sorry bro but christina's tan never looked that bad! also she's actually hot

http://www.realself.com/files/imagecache/blog/christina%20aguilera%20bad%20fake%20tan.jpg

I used to really hate xtina for a lot of the reasons that ppl hate on gaga now, but to her credit her pretension rocket never got off the ground while gaga's went into orbit.

Also, would Leona Lewis qualify as vacuous pop?