amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

a) this is old

b) the point is basically valid

yeah i may be missing some new bit of offensiveness but this is relatively light on the cultspeak and egomania, and her point about how misogyny plays into the heroic artist narrative is more than worth bringing up

so i should have posted it or i shouldn't have posted it, and i should have or shouldn't have… last week?

i assumed from the curt "happy wednesday" that you thought this would be gristle for the mill, i'm just saying i don't see much gristle. whether that means you should or shouldn't have posted it is between you are

lol didn't finish that thought, let's just leave it ambiguous

^^^FYI, it's *grist* for the mill.

it was, but not anymore

isn't gristle more cabaret

All that gristles is not grist

this is her most reasonable thing ever

guys what are we gonna do if motherhood makes amanda palmer a chill person who we all enjoy hearing from

We will always have people to remind us that we agreed she was terrible that time.

the worst

do you people have any idea how much more obnoxious normally obnoxious people become once they become parents

also this list is totally fucking stupid, I'm sorry:

"PROS:

It’s not like anything I’ve done before, and I like new things.
Possible spiritual enlightenment?
Possible deeper bond with my husband once we’ve mixed our genepools.
Most importantly, if I believe all the people I’ve anxiously polled, especially female artists, it’s a decision that’s nearly impossible to regret, even if having a kid is a total pain in the ass. So…that’s good.

CONS:

Complete loss of personal freedom and spontaneity.
A whole new world of potential disagreements and drama with my husband, since we’re both control freaks (…undoubtedly followed by divorce proceedings, ugly custody battles and the sorrowful life of a single mother).
All that poop.
But the worst one is actually this: The loss of my identity as an artist."

written by a narcissist

A crocheted Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer blanket!

@neilhimself
Listening to @amandapalmer explaining the plot of Star Wars to @maddygaiman on a balcony. A passer-by below shouted up details she'd missed.

http://pitchfork.com/news/63321-listen-to-amanda-palmer-and-jherek-bischoffs-david-bowie-covers-ep-featuring-neil-gaiman-john-cameron-mitchell-anna-calvi/

"Space Oddity (feat. Neil Gaiman)"

That Sienkewicz art that shows up when you play Heroes is probably the corniest thing he's ever done and I wish I had never seen it.

Think I saw someone on twitter say similar, but why the fuck was there a petition to stop Kanye covering Bowie and not AP? She is a thousand times worse in every way.

(Okay, the answer is probably that she's not really that famous so nobody cares, but STILL)

Think I saw someone on twitter say similar, but why the fuck was there a petition to stop Kanye covering Bowie and not AP?

hmm...wonder what it is classic rock music bros don't like about Kanye, why they wouldn't want him covering a classic rock bro...can't quite put my finger on it...just something about Kanye these dudes don't like I guess...hmm

Ha, well, yes, that is the background to the vast majority of Kanye hate, not trying to diminish that. Though of course there is also the obvious background of "what is it that makes people hate Amanda Palmer?" that isn't simply her being awful (she is awful).

god knows how much money AP would ask for to not do Bowie covers

"gimme everything in your wallet or i'm gonna do a tortured version of 'moonage daydream' on this uke, buster!"

and then she'd be all "thank you for freely sharing the gift of your heart with me"

Bless.

https://www.facebook.com/amandapalmer/photos/a.10150851738153375.413686.6565888374/10154314830593375/?type=3

"not ashamed to say" i'm translating as "profoundly grateful for the opportunity to publicize that"

in these profoundly bleak times, there's something kinda comforting in knowing that no matter what awful twist life throws at us next, amanda palmer will find a way to make it all about her

yup.

Hahaha wow

i kinda like her now

shout out to amanda palmer for visualizing what twitter looks like when a celebrity dies

Commenter: "Then Neil read Goodnight Moon and you covered "Hallelulah",

*and from your lips you drew the Hallelujah

i feel like amanda's consistency is something we can all draw comfort from in these dark times

apparently she then told a story about cohen's "humility on stage" lol well played

Wout Mattens
I get that this is posted with good intentions but sharing this looks like seeking attention on the back of someone's dead. You're moving the subject to yourself: "look what I did when i heard someone who I loved died"

Amanda Palmer
i share my grief very openly, always have. it is part of what has connected me to my family and community. they don't seem to mind, mostly. xxx

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/57178418.jpg

http://wiki.urbandead.com/images/9/92/Goodgrief3.jpg

they don't seem to mind, mostly. xxx

I read this as the dead not seeming to mind about her grief sharage.

She walked out on stage in a Bernie Sanders T-shirt, holding a ukulele aloft as though it were the Olympic torch. Then she held up a book in her left hand, another symbol of triumph. It was Margaret Wise Brown's classic children's book, "Goodnight Moon," which she took to be a talisman for peace and healing.

She kicked off the first show of her American solo tour by sitting down in a center-stage chair and pouring herself a glass of red wine. Clearly reeling from Tuesday's election results, she explained, "My plan is to read you 'Goodnight Moon' for two hours if I have to, until we all feel OK." And then she read the book to the crowd as though it were bedtime story hour, even recruiting a page-turner from the audience.
She played a few songs on her ukulele ("In My Mind" and "Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth...") and then moved over to the grand piano for a couple more (the cathartic "The Killing Type" and the waltz-time "The Bed Song"), frequently interrupting the songs with asides or lyrical lapses.
Then came another reading of "Goodnight Moon."
A few more piano songs (the piano-pounding "Lost" and "Delilah") before someone in the audience broke the news that singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen had died. Palmer collapsed to the stage, weeping quite uncontrollably.

Palmer's husband, author Neil Gaiman, who was sitting in the front row with their year-old son Anthony, stepped up onstage to read "Goodnight Moon" (take three) while Palmer gathered herself.
Palmer recited the lyrics to "My IQ" by Ani DiFranco, whose concert she had attended at The Egg the previous evening. Then she invited representatives of Planned Parenthood and the New York Civil Liberties Union onstage to give speeches.
In honor of Gaiman's birthday, Palmer brought out a marching band bass drummer, a baton-twirling cue-card holder and a trumpeter in a white jumpsuit, mask and alien antennas to perform a medley of David Bowie songs and a chorus of "Happy Birthday."
More songs on the uke ("Map of Tasmania" and the soul-baring "Bigger on the Inside") and the piano ("Coin Operated Boy" and "Half Jack," both from her Dresden Doll days). Then a stunning cover of John Grant's majestic ballad "Glacier" and a zippy romp through her playful, hopeful "Ukulele Anthem."
And then finally after more than three hours of rambling, roller coaster emotions, she wrapped up the night with an elegiac, broken-hearted, tear-stained rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."
"You're going to be OK," she said softly as she left the stage

this is the worst thing i've ever come across and i didn't even have to pay money or get up from my bed to experience it

Reads like straight parody. Some of the details are just...who goes to these concerts??!!

Commenter: "Then Neil read Goodnight Moon and you covered "Hallelulah",

― everything, Saturday, 12 November 2016 17:58 (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol I thought this was some weapons grade bitchiness but it was actually just a statement of fact??

haha yeah me too

The phrase "attention vampire" comes to mind

man this is the only thing that's made me feel good in like a week, her absolute blindness to her own self centered ness

Trump's blindness to his own self-centeredness used to make me laugh too. Just wait until Amanda Palmer runs for president