Publicist red flags!

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this is why I am totally writing my own press release

― Dominique (dleone), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Infuse [mainstream genre] with a darker, foreboding undercurrent

Same music but with eyeshadow

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

"internet hit"

Posted on one blog somewhere. The poster is the drummer's girlfriend's brother.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:14 (twenty years ago)

"heartbreaking vocals"

Vomit-inducing vocals.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

The first great album of *insert year* has arrived

... but this isn't it

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

"(Celebrity X) is a huge fan"

Has nobbed the lead singer.

― Abu Hamster (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:16 (twenty years ago)

repeated mention of their town/state of origin

Nothing actually interesting about them aside from where they come from.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

lyrically complex

Load of sophomoric claptrap

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

"played legendary NYC indie-rock venue Pianos"

Has a pulse.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

recorded in the same studio as [insert rock legend]

this is either a pale imitation of said rock legend, or an appeal to people who would never listen to this otherwise

― Dominique (dleone), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:18 (twenty years ago)

strong word-of-mouth reaction

Booed off stage at their last gig

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:18 (twenty years ago)

"Raw"

Has mastered 2 chords. Drummer usually pissed.

― Abu Hamster (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

"(Album X) is breaking worldwide"

We hope the label will pay us. Making this record a hit can only help.

― mike a, Friday, 24 February 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

"challenging"

Atrocious.

― mike a, Friday, 24 February 2006 20:21 (twenty years ago)

"this time round we felt we needed an outside producer, to help us focus blah blah blah"

We fucked up producing ourselves so badly that the record company told us to stop dicking around, get a proper producer, and write some fucking songs for a change

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:21 (twenty years ago)

stripped down, back-to-basic approach

We pissed away so much money on the last album, what with the gospel choir and the 132 piece orchestra and what have you, that the record company has slashed our budget and told us to start selling some records or we're history

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:24 (twenty years ago)

this thread is funny and i'm all for knocking bad writers/publicists off their perch, but it also kinda points out a lot of what i hate about ILM -- this really intolerant conservative attitude where "no tunes" and "noodly" and taking time to make your record are ALWAYS bad things. a lot of the music i enjoy is stuff that works in spite of itself, where common sense would dictate that i should hate it but some nebulous quality compels me to keep coming back to it.

i'll shut up now.

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:30 (twenty years ago)

Sure, but y'know we're not really being intolerant, just taking the piss out of doubletalk.

― Abu Hamster (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:33 (twenty years ago)

but it's got these "gotcha! you losers are SO BUSTED!! OMGWTF" overtones.

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

I think the assumption behind the thread is that the publicists are using the language to cover up flaws that the vast majority of people would regard as such. Thus so noodly and "atmospheric" that it's not actually, in point of fact, good.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

And not just to ILM people. For, like, people.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

i always get the feeling that publicists REALLY ARE that super-enthusiastic about everything they promote.

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Uh...hmm.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Maybe some of them are...

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Nobody could be that super-enthusiastic without an Olympian pharmaceutical intake.

― Abu Hamster (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

well, i DO live in new york, so that could color my view of things...

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

Or a $3000 check in the wings.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

hey, publicists are people, too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

This thread’s making me squirt soda through my nose

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

And the thing is we've all seen these press releases with exactly the same tone whether it be for a fantastic album or something you can only assume the company's putting out as a tax dodge, which kind of undermines the sincerity idea.

― Abu Hamster (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

xpost Dude you don't even wanna know what I do for my paycheck, music-wise.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

I gotta say, this thread made me reread our last press release and I'm horrified. OMFG here's the "lyrical complexity" bit, the Pianos namecheck, the "not since...", the "electronic touches..."

Truth is, I doubt that a good boutique publicist even needs all this text anymore - he/she should be able to call up some well-chosen contacts, say "I have a great album here. Trust me. I'm behind it all the way," and mail the CD. And then call them again. Repeatedly.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:45 (twenty years ago)

their first release on the artist-friendly [very small label]

their first release since being dropped by [bigger label]

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:45 (twenty years ago)

the breakthrough they've been waiting for

yes, we know we said that about the last three, but this time it's really really true

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:47 (twenty years ago)

A scaled-down, personal side project...

The band has broken up 6 months ago

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:57 (twenty years ago)

...rare early recordings...

we weren't prepared for this artist to be so popular and are now scrambling for more product

― Dominique (dleone), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:00 (twenty years ago)

"buzz has been building on the internet for months"

the few hundred geeks who will ever care already downloaded it months ago, nobody else will buy it.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:01 (twenty years ago)

"Eminem protege"

Beats too awful for the last Fiddy album.

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:25 (twenty years ago)

haha you guys read press releases.

― m.c. (clikatowi), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:26 (twenty years ago)

"classically trained Goth/Industrial"

ponderous

"outrageous"

sophomoric

"ingenue"

narcissist

Or, from today's press release (all sic):

Check out the classically trained Goth/Industrial artist that is Morgan and her latest full-length release titled "And the Moon was Hungry."

Produced by The Wizardz of Oz (Liz Phiar) Morgan's music could be considered the love child of Trent Reznor and Blonde Redhead, Morgan has created an Orchestra On Acid.

For more information or concert review tickets...

(I swear that I opened this and read it while skimming the thread, laughing. There's another page of bio that's even more misleading. The album? Meh. I had it on earlier, but I don't remember a single song now).

― js (honestengine), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:34 (twenty years ago)

Other big flags? "MySpace" and "ringtones"= "Maudlin emo" and "sounds better in midi."

― js (honestengine), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:36 (twenty years ago)

...renewed enthusiasm thanks to a new record company that understands them...

They got dropped.

An infusion of metal and hardcore...

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:36 (twenty years ago)

I honestly don't understand how any professional writer can use the "...on Acid" now without spontaneously combusting of shame.

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Liz Phwoar

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:38 (twenty years ago)

...supergroup...

you know this will suck

― Aaron A, Friday, 24 February 2006 21:40 (twenty years ago)

"sounds better in midi."

oh come on, everything sounds better in midi

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:42 (twenty years ago)

how about, "sounds like crap in everything but midi"?

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:43 (twenty years ago)

"mixed in Dobly"

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

man, this thread is funny, but when you dudes do threads like this it gives me such a fucking horrible pit in my stomach at the thought of ever actually releasing a CD.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

"first release by original line-up in X years"

solo albums didn't pan out, mortgages don't pay themselves.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

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