by comparing a woman to a car (a metaphor so weak it deserves to be put on cinder blocks)
So what does he think of "Highway Star" and "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" and "Little Red Corvette"? I feel like this is a pretty common metaphor, also one that a genre like hard rock is practically made for.
― jmm, Friday, 25 July 2014 23:43 (nine years ago) link
Let me put some vinyl onThe we can get it onAmandavideo games
― Neil Patrick Haggerty (get bent), Monday, 28 July 2014 00:46 (nine years ago) link
Nothing says “bad bitch” like smoking an e-cigarette on stage – ask Lily Allen, who did just that in a sold out show at Festival Hall night. After a five-year long hiatus from the music industry, the ultimate anti-pop star is back with a bang.
http://www.tonedeaf.com.au/413201/heres-gone-lily-allens-splendour-sideshow.htm
― boney tassel (sic), Monday, 28 July 2014 05:06 (nine years ago) link
"After a recent onslaught of mixed reviews"
― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Monday, 28 July 2014 07:03 (nine years ago) link
What the hell did I just read
― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 28 July 2014 12:20 (nine years ago) link
"Tonedeaf.com"
― Treeship, Monday, 28 July 2014 13:32 (nine years ago) link
truly surprised #18 didn't chart higher
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/19-worst-things-about-woodstock-99-20140731
― da croupier, Thursday, 31 July 2014 20:44 (nine years ago) link
can't decide whether the tone-deaf conflation of "sucky band" and "criminal assault" on this list beats that SPIN "worst things about the nineties" one that had the jerky boys, heroin, rave fashion and the lapd on it
― da croupier, Thursday, 31 July 2014 20:47 (nine years ago) link
poll:
2 Skinnee J's, 3, American Pearl, Big Sugar, Cyclefly, DDT, Gary Durdin & The Clay Pinps, Mike Errico, F.o.N., Full Devil Jacket, Gargantua Soul, Chris Glenn, Beth Hart Band, Immoral Fibres, Indigenous, Sherri Jackson, Liars Inc., Moe Loughran, Chris McDermott, Old Pike, John Oszajca ,Chris Pérez Band, Bijou Phillips, Pound, Pushmonkey, Johnny Rushmore, Linda Rutherford & Celtic Fire, Serial Joe, Simmi, Sticky Pistil, Stormy Mondays or Sugar Daddy
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 31 July 2014 20:51 (nine years ago) link
We're they looking for listicle ideas and someone said "what about the awful things that happened at Woodstock '99" or did someone pitch a recap of Woodstock '99 and someone said "make it a listicle"
Wonder if clickhole will beat them to "10 dumbest things that happened at altamont"
― da croupier, Thursday, 31 July 2014 20:59 (nine years ago) link
"You Won't Believe What Happened at this Who Concert!"
― Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Friday, 1 August 2014 12:57 (nine years ago) link
"[Great White]'s headlining set was cut short when..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLw4xds3M_Q
― jmm, Friday, 1 August 2014 13:47 (nine years ago) link
this is gonna be hard to beat
http://www.philly.com/philly/opinion/inquirer/20140801_Keep_belting_out_the_inspiration__Piano_Man.html
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 1 August 2014 14:43 (nine years ago) link
"Unlike his other songs, the lyrics consist mostly of people or news events from 1949 to 1989, with the chorus "We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning."
Unlike his other songs
He has got songs which list news events from 1929-1938 though.
― 3kDk (dog latin), Friday, 1 August 2014 14:50 (nine years ago) link
"I'm still listening to the Piano Man and I'm still writing."
Maybe have a rethink on both these activities?
― 3kDk (dog latin), Friday, 1 August 2014 14:52 (nine years ago) link
I don't know how web portal philly.com will ever recover from a piece of friendly Billy Joel appreciation written by a PR associate at United Cerebral Palsy of Philadelphia
― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 1 August 2014 15:02 (nine years ago) link
It was in today's Inquirer, I read it on newsprint!
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 1 August 2014 16:01 (nine years ago) link
i dunno, that's not like even in the top 200 on this thread imo
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 1 August 2014 16:17 (nine years ago) link
What are the top ten?
― Evan, Friday, 1 August 2014 20:43 (nine years ago) link
I will cut some slack for an actual Catholic schoolgirl writing about Billy Joel. It's like a girl in a flatbed Ford writing about the Eagles.
― something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Friday, 1 August 2014 20:52 (nine years ago) link
that sounds difficult
― Οὖτις, Friday, 1 August 2014 20:54 (nine years ago) link
only when they're on a gravel roadwhich is pretty much always
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 August 2014 21:08 (nine years ago) link
xpost to that Lily Allen review. A "ready and rearing audience"? Cows on their hind legs? Or parents bringing up their children?
― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Saturday, 2 August 2014 14:04 (nine years ago) link
???
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/sonny-rollins-words
― scott seward, Saturday, 2 August 2014 16:48 (nine years ago) link
Sounds like a fancy-schmancy Onion article, but shorter, so it doesn't run its one gimmick as deeply into the ground. Coleman Hawkins was almost that bitter.
― bamcquern, Saturday, 2 August 2014 17:46 (nine years ago) link
I thought it was hilarious. But man, are the jazz dorks I know on Facebook weeping blood from their asses about it.
― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Saturday, 2 August 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link
they eat at Chipotle?
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 2 August 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link
That's actually pretty funny, particularly once it gets to the Dexter Gordon and Miles Davis parts.
― Man, when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot, I mean she was (intheblanks), Saturday, 2 August 2014 18:14 (nine years ago) link
With not-too-much tweaking, some of those Rollins quotes could be legitimate. Leading up to his mid-70s hiatus, Miles pretty much did what "Rollins" describes.
And if the joke about him wanting to be an accountant is "haha, because of COURSE Sonny Rollins has been happily making tons of money as a musician for years!" that's pretty fucked up, considering how many decades of scuffling he and his contemporaries had to endure.
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Saturday, 2 August 2014 18:18 (nine years ago) link
Particularly Onion-worthy:
People take turns noodling around, and once they run out of ideas and have to stop, the audience claps. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.
Sometimes we would run through the same song over and over again to see if anybody noticed. If someone did, I don’t care.
― Jimmywine Dyspeptic, Saturday, 2 August 2014 19:42 (nine years ago) link
Can't seem to open link, excerpts don't seem particularly clever.
― Erdős Number 9 Dream (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 2 August 2014 23:17 (nine years ago) link
And if the joke about him wanting to be an accountant
Believe at least one cat actually did leave jazz for a while to study to be an accountant- Ray Drummond, maybe.
― Erdős Number 9 Dream (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 2 August 2014 23:20 (nine years ago) link
No, not quite. He went to Stanford business school to work on an MBA then dropped out after one year to play bass full time.
― Erdős Number 9 Dream (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 2 August 2014 23:24 (nine years ago) link
http://jazztimes.com/articles/14542-ray-drummond
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYt8B2RkqrM#t=249
― scott seward, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 04:50 (nine years ago) link
<3 sonny
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:30 (nine years ago) link
i really don't get why people are piss and vinegar'd about this
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:31 (nine years ago) link
seconded
― The beer was cold, but so was the glass, which drives me crazy. (stevie), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:37 (nine years ago) link
It was fucked because they didn't mention it was satire + Sonny Rollins isn't enough of a public figure to telegraph the joke.
― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:39 (nine years ago) link
i mean it was in the humor section with a large-font byline that clearly wasn't sonny rollins
and sure sonny rollins isn't paris hilton--but isn't 'playing to people who get it' kind of the NYers whole reason for being?
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:45 (nine years ago) link
artwork choice helped the perception too; using a photo and not an illustration made it seem more like a legitimate story.
― maura, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:46 (nine years ago) link
i worked out it was a joke by reading it. also it was v. funny.
― Daphnis Celesta, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:49 (nine years ago) link
i didn't think it was that funny! i'm just befuddled by the outrage.
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:51 (nine years ago) link
who knew jazz fans could be humourless, cranky?
― Daphnis Celesta, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:52 (nine years ago) link
who knew the New Yorker humor section could be a terrible non-funny, pseudo intellectual version of the Daily Currant?
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:54 (nine years ago) link
not outraged, didn't really think it was that funny though. i don't know, rollins has been known to be in somewhat poor health recently, would be a weird thing to publish and then have him (god forbid) pass away the next week or something.
― tylerw, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:55 (nine years ago) link
i mean rollins himself in that video just said "well at first i thought it was just some dumb Mad Magazine thing but not as funny but then people started believing it and attributing it to me so I got pretty annoyed that ppl would think i was disparaging jazz or discouraging young jazz players" which is p understandable
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:57 (nine years ago) link
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, August 5, 2014 10:54 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
hehehehe
― maura, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 14:59 (nine years ago) link