SOLANGE KNOWLES, omg the return of

why would you write these awful words

forks"shrove"tofu

It's so hilarious how this is all scandalous since Jay has literally pled guilty to stabbing someone in a nightclub before

and solange has literally performed w/ of montreal in a nightclub before

as someone who's been stabbed in the eye once and sat thru of montreal live too many times (twice maybe?) let me tell you there's no comparison

Spoken like a true Gawker employee.

― Position Position, Tuesday, May 13, 2014 1:54 AM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

what kind of person would stab our balls? :'(

NEW YORK (AP) — Beyonce, Jay Z and Solange say they have worked through and are moving on since a video leaked this week of Solange attacking Jay Z in an elevator.

"As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage from Monday, May 5th, there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident. But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it," an exclusive statement to The Associated Press read Thursday. "Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family."

The website TMZ posted the three-minute video Monday and said it was shot last week inside the Standard Hotel in New York City. The video appears to show Solange, Beyonce's sister, attacking Jay Z in Beyonce's presence. A security guard intervenes. The footage shows the performers in the outfits they wore to the Met Gala last week. There is no audio.

"The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false," the statement continued. "At the end of the day families have problems and we're no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We've put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same."

The hotel said Wednesday it had fired the person who recorded the video.

Beyonce and Jay Z were married in 2008.

"We've put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same."

I don't know, I'm having trouble putting the probably bad thing or words that Jay-Z said or did behind me. And I can't forgive Solange for the hurtful or abrasive or crazy things or words that she said in return. She may or may not ever get to take whatever it is back. This is really tough for me.

How do they expect us as fans to just forget about something we know nothing about?!

it looks by far the most likely explanation is that the attack was a blow-up over jay-z flirting with rachel roy (damon dash's ex) at the met gala.

now i don't want to read too much into subliminals and all but if that is true there's no way beyoncé posting a pic of her in an aaliyah t-shirt on instagram the day after the gala wasn't ruthless shade directed at rachel roy. solange may drop kick better than most but b is the master at ice cold passive aggression... i'm impressed.

Inside Edition had a body language expert analyze the video and give her take on what the participants were thinking when the confrontation happened. At that moment, I really wanted Putin to launch the nukes.

How does one get paid to analyze body language? I think I could make money doing this.

However that happens.

"body language experts" have been a thing in tabloids for at least a decade

they're the biggest hacks in history

well not really the biggest

i mean body language experts

handwriting analysts vs. body language experts

there needs to be official instagram experts b/c all the drama is taking place on there

voice inflection analysts v. handwriting analysts v. body language experts v. fox news pundits

Pretty sure they were arguing Black Keys versus White Stripes.

"this woman is kicking and punching jay-z furiously. in my expert opinion, she must be angry at him for some reason."

i had no idea rachel ray was with dame dash, this is more complex than i even imagined

ha not rachel ray, rachel roy the fashion designer. she used to model at rockawear and it's pretty well known jay and dame used to pass the girls there between themselves. dame dated rachel and had a child with her, then left her for aaliyah and then only got back with her after aaliyah died. bey wearing the aaliyah shirt with shades on and the stoniest face ever totally reads as shots fired - taunting this chick who was flirting with her husband that she was always some guy's second choice.

yeah, i was kidding. prob shoulda said "more complex.com that I even imagined"

the knowles family actually releasing a statement is the most shocking turn of events so far

At that moment, I really wanted Putin to launch the nukes.

― chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Thursday, May 15, 2014 9:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

afaikotrm

the real money

lol at being an adult who cares about beyonce's instagram

and what do you, an adult, care about

Putin's Instagram.

#overthrowbackthursday

dont throw shade on me!

and what do you, an adult, care about

anti-vaccination idiots
the legalization of black murder in the US
climate change
providing for a family while saving for retirement
the stagnation of my career
the devaluing of classical music
tacos

Bullshit, I've never seen elevator security cam footage of any of that.

I've seen taco footage that would chill you to the core

If lindelhof got his mitts on blade runner I can totally hear Rutger saying that

taco footage=toe jammin'

tacocore

taco footage=vagina sex w. toes

what if solange beat up borat

It would be, I think,...very nice!!!!!1 hhahaha !

i think so too

because borat says very nice

he used to

those were the days

I've seen taco footage that would chill you to the core

― chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Friday, May 16, 2014 2:17 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

attack chimichangas on fire off the shoulder of orion

Wasn't the True EP that was released TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO supposed to be like this warm up before an imminent third album??? ugh

she thought the other writer/producer was getting too much credit for the EP and stopped working with him, so i guess not putting out more music is part of a brilliant plan to get credit for her music

That was mostly done with Dev Hynes, yes? Dude definitely has a "sound" and he squeezed Solange right into it. I'm not gonna rob her of credit for those songs altogether, but that EP could've featured any number of other singers on top of Hynes' productions.