OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

I'd love to see the research paper which proposes that rubber fish can sing.

you've obviously never met billy.

http://diztopia.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/11152004.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHchmWsrfUo

In Tyson Wray's world, every musician would be called Big Mouth Billy Bass.

now i have Robin Thicke singing "Tight Lines" in my head

re: Gaga / Perry, I wonder which is the higher rating: 1 star flush left or 1 star flush right

Want to read more tyson wray

http://thegrillandbarrel.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/what-the-music-industry-can-learn-from-the-ale-industry/

only 200 words but packs an impressive amount of chuckleheadedness into that small space

http://tysondwray.tumblr.com/

The title track is a vociferous number characterized by curling breakbeats, frantic snares and Taylor’s signature penchant for meticulously clipped R&B samples. “Werk” follows the lead with a breakbeat formation, but employs a bulbous bass line to lead the assertive vocals through a sea of skittering hi-hats layered over pulsing cowbells. The third original, “Give In To You,” is held together by a relentless drum roll powering through melancholic chords and inconceivable vocal cuts. French Fries’ rework of “Bash” is rendered with a big-room aesthetic, its marinated grooves edging delicately through more spacious territory. Rounding off the release is Isotonik’s take on “Give In To You,” which rings reminiscent of a 90s warehouse rave with frenzied synths and heavy bass lines; however the culmination wanes in authenticity and results in a maladroit number that falls misplaced amongst it’s more restrained counterparts. There’s arguably little innovation within Bash as Taylor simply weaves his regular aural artillery, but it’s his scrupulous composition and predilection for subtle progression that keeps his work emotive, novel, and authoritative over any dance floor — a formula that’s showing no signs of going stale.

the boy likes adjectives

Everything is just so determinedly middle-of-the-road, one can only picture a dotted yellow line while listening to it.

^ this is great

inconceivable vocal cuts

a formula that’s showing no signs of going stale

It's easy to misjudge Rob Schneider.

Classic tyson wray

Everything is just so determinedly middle-of-the-road, one can only picture a dotted yellow line while listening to it.

^ this is great

― Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Friday, November 8, 2013 10:22 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol this is actually good

god, i read my own reviews and cringe (horribly) at my use of adjectives and adverbs.

Lol really? The review isn't awful but "i'm gonna call something mor and then get this compare it to the literal middle of a road oh the wit" is some weak obvious zinging imo xp

I mean its not tyson wray public transport zing level

At least he is trying to describe what the music sounds like though, if ineptly. I'm more sympathetic to that passage than the ones in this thread that involve grand pronouncements about how the music fits into some meta-cultural narrative the writer has just invented, involving tropes about hipsters or the prog/punk divide or whatever.

It's not terrible, not brilliant. I was just taken aback that that line was being singled out when "clever" riffs on "middle of the road" are almost as cliched as the phrase itself

middle of the road is cliche but the imagery after is funny/clever

http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2013/11/giorgio_moroder_dj_daft_punk.php

"Hailing from northern Italy, Moroder is basically a G."

http://flavorwire.com/424281/camp-is-for-everyone-r-kelly-and-the-evolution-of-trash/

can i just http://observer.com/2011/03/tyler-coates-man-who-tweeted-about-being-trapped-in-an-elevator-speaks/

tbh im worried i just wrote the worst review of 2013...can some objectively tell me if the review of 'it hurts' by creeper_ on here is awful:
http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/features/tracks-broken-bells-bombay-bicycle-club-more/

in my defence, very difficult to write about music made by friends of yours.

Camp, however, has found a much warmer home in pop music, a genre that seemingly appeals to women and homosexuals.

^^^amazing sentence

It's from the Tyler Coates article some dude linked to to be clear, not Dwight Yorke's review.

'pop music, a genre that seemingly appeals to women and homosexuals' could be a good ilm board description.

well, y'know, not really.

it's good that women and homosexuals can put aside their differences to stand as one under the umbrella of pop music

Dwight, I don't get the first sentence - "contemporary lovelorn bedroom pop game Todd Rundgren." Is there a word missing there? Other than that it was ace.

http://img2-2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/031224/91435__liza_l.jpg

Cheers Stevie! Was riffing on the 'rap game + [something usually not related to rap]' construction which tends to drop the 'the' so I fully admit that it looks a little awkward on the page.

my posts

Idiots, that song is about meth and the overman.

― Sheik Yitzhak Patrin (usic), Wednesday, 31 December 2008 23:24 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

overruled

http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2013/01/sonic_youth_are_boring.php

cant be as bad as the one johnny cigarettes did for the nme years ago. That really was the worst ever.

such opinions

copy of the tape on SST that runs backward on one side and forward on another <<<what is this?

The next album, Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star is mostly noteworthy for igniting puberty in teenage alt rockers via a video featuring Bikini Kill's Kathleen Hanna bouncing around in an approximation of irreverence.

Ugh x 100

Some articles make me think the writer's a decent person with no skill. This one just seems like the work of an appalling human being.

I was about 13 and somehow acquired a copy of the tape on SST that runs backward on one side and forward on another. I know, right? How creative.

There's a Mudhoney album that does this IIRC.

don't fall into their trap

Voice Media Group is just the WORST

i doubt they believe half the challops they put out in WCS, it's just for angry clickthroughs.

I was about 13 and somehow acquired a copy of the tape on SST that runs backward on one side and forward on another. I know, right? How creative.

There's a Mudhoney album that does this IIRC.

Sonic Youth's first s/t EP did this. I liked it equally well both directions.

god, i read my own reviews and cringe (horribly) at my use of adjectives and adverbs.

― Pingu Unchained (dog latin), Friday, November 8, 2013 11:46 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Me too. Sometimes I think that the phrase "good music writing" is a bit of an oxymoron tbh. I mean, you can't avoid adjectives and adverbs. Recently I read a little Flaubert before bed--a translation, mind you--and it paralyzed me for weeks.

Who am I kidding--Pauline Kael paralyzes me, too.

I was asked to post this here

http://www.ritaora.com/uk/biography

awesome
"If there is a sense when Rita Ora walks into a room that a star has already been ordained from above then nobody appears to have told the young Londoner and future pop princess herself."