OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

this thread has got a lot of nerve when some of the worst music posters in the world frequent this board

name naaaames

saving that poll for when i need some time away

What about the world's best music poster

pretty sure it's this one:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hIzag7ptdSg/Tzgt2JOlVhI/AAAAAAAAEeU/Q7bg0vXgMOk/s1600/DSC00014.JPG

I that John Paul ii above Whitney Houston?

yeah, he put a couple of solo records out on Metal Blade in the 80s iirc

outrageous nipple hat

The problem with being a pop star is that in order to continue to score hits — and hence, to stay relevant — it is imperative to adopt and incorporate current trends into one’s work. When the flavor of the day is something pure — as it was when Carole King was writing songs alongside Gerry Goffin in the ’60s or when she unleashed her masterpiece Tapestry in the early ’70s — the results can be magical and timeless. On the other hand, when the market favors style over substance — as it has, almost without fail, since the disco era — the outcome can range from being diminished to being lifeless.

http://www.musicbox-online.com/reviews-2007/caroleking-lovemakestheworld-09042007.html#axzz2gKHWUNv0

musicbox-online you've disappointed us this time

haha, that's what i thought when i saw that. they really lowered their standards over there at musicbox-online in 2007.

From the Haim thread: Rockist Agonistes.

http://www.collapseboard.com/reviews/albums-reviews/haim-days-are-gone-columbia/

Like Bryan Adams, Haim have mastered the art of writing a song composed entirely of lyrics from other songs.

T.S. Eliot did this too, you think you're better than T.S. Eliot do you mister crappy pop music critic?

When I posted it on the haim thread I hadn't realised it was by the same guy who did http://www.collapseboard.com/blogs/scott-creney/an-immodest-proposal

Overcoming the Haim vs Savages critical divide by shitting on both and congratulating himself for it.

And it’s not like I have a vendetta against any of your labels. I wrote very nice things about the recent Cat Power album. Same with Yo La Tengo and Fucked Up. Yeah, I made fun of Fleet Foxes and Stephen Malkmus, but not enough to ruin their careers or hurt your labels. And let’s just talk about the fucking emotional memoir I wrote for last year’s Interpol reissue. There was so much soul in that review that Collapse Board’s Mike Turner, a lifelong Interpol hater, was forced to reassess the band after reading my review, arriving at the conclusion that the record “actually isn’t that bad”.

As a writer, I am nothing if not persuasive.

Willing to bet that a disproportionate amount of the worst music writing ever is first person.

It seems I have angered the Collapseboard massive on Twitter.

No, the lines above are a sample of random lines from a book that came out earlier in 2013. Bough Down by Karen Green is one of the most devastating, beautifully created works of art ever created. I literally get butterflies when I read it — tiny little flutterings of a panic attack welling up in my belly. Because of the art, the exquisite design, it costs a little bit more than your average book. I had to wait all summer to buy it, until I was sure I had the money. Having it now, I realize it would have been worth twice as much.

I can't believe he got that far into that paragraph without writing, "You probably haven't heard about it."

Couldn't read that shit at all but I am glad I scrolled down to read Doran's comment at the end.

I literally get butterflies when I read it

Presumably involves a trip to the butterfly shop?

DL im sure being called a "dick" by everett true is a badge of honour

I literally get butterflies when I read it

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/19/Wendy_Craig_in_Butterflies.jpg

He stopped Savages dead in their tracks? Someone all to tell the people who keep buying tickets to see them.

He's a one-man truth machine.

lol at "(if this review introduces just one person to this book etc…)" because that review just made me want to check out Haim who I haven't heard before but I now like.

Look, I don’t deny the pleasure you get from this music, but your ability to be moved by it says more about the depth/breadth of your emotions, the thrill of being alive, than it does about Haim.

AKA: If you are shallow/young it doesn't take much (intellectually) for you to be moved.

unsurprisingly for a guy who appears to love the sound of his own typing, he seems unable to process any aspect of the music apart from the lyrics.

I haven't read the piece, but if it said "Haim suck and everyone who likes them is a fucking idiot who should be murdered", it's spot on.

>:|

haha

Heh. wk, as someone who adores the fuck out of this album, I'd be the first to tell you the lyrics are merely serviceable, but fine as such.

I always suspected emil.y was mr agreeabl.e

skimming the article I missed the part where Bough Down was a book so I threw it into youtube and the first hit was one of those pronunciation guide videos. clearly the real explanation is that this guy is horse_ebooks

He is in a band called Tunabunny.

He is in a fucking excellent band called Tunabunny, yes.

god I just wrote a post and then deleted it

I just listened to a couple of HAIM songs. I'll hold my tongue and just quietly OTM emil.y.

I like Tunabunny and Haim. :(

rapture about the memoir of DFW's ex seems exactly right for the middlebrow vibes going on in that prose, frankly

wait, this guy who doesn't hear anything good in Haim makes tuneless, rhythmically challenged music? that's a shock.

haw haw haw!

*smarmy chuckle, places hands on gut*

Bloke who plays in lumpen indie band tries to add to his own infamy/success by saying pop music is shite shocker.

lj is in a band called Tunabunny?

know some ppl that really rep for Tunabunny. not expecting them to care about the world's worst music writer being in the band tbf

i just looked at the comments on collapseboard and DL isnt too popular!

I like Tunabunny and Haim. :(

― polyphonic, Wednesday, October 2, 2013 10:31 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've only listened to Tunabunny for the first time tonight, and it's 100% due to the Haim review being linked to in this thread, so if DS's P is correct this strategy is working