A thread for the worst ballads/power ballads by rawk bands

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OTM.

The irony is, of course, that I'm being anal and hairsplitting about power ballad criteria immediately after demonstrating that there's no real accepted definition.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 00:25 (twelve years ago)

Time to get offline.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 00:25 (twelve years ago)

so you can make the ultimate power ballad?

..it would have sounded about as heavy as Talulah Gosh. (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 00:27 (twelve years ago)

every rose is a ballad but it's kind of on the limp side ie lacking POWER

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

just like their so called rocking songs funnily enough

just like eeeeevvvery cowboy sings a sad sad song

first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 00:29 (twelve years ago)

someone actually started this thread in 2013? I was sure this was from 2001. Nearly every song mentioned on this thread rules, droolers.

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:18 (twelve years ago)

Sister Christian is retroactively redeemed by that scene in Boogie Nights.

Sister Christian was redeemed for me because my best friend's brother was named Christian and we mercilessly taunted him with that song.

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:29 (twelve years ago)

Alfred, its:

ev'ry cowbwah sings a SAYad SAYad SAWNG

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:31 (twelve years ago)

sister christian shouldn't even be IN this conversation, there is nothing bad about that song unless your ears are broken

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:31 (twelve years ago)

Heaven is *almost* the ultimate power ballad imo

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:32 (twelve years ago)

don't know if this ozzy track was mentioned yet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rSBgfXoIPo

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:32 (twelve years ago)

Bringin On The Heartbreak's another close winner

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:33 (twelve years ago)

Europe - "Carrie"

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:33 (twelve years ago)

Alfred, its:

ev'ry cowbwah sings a SAYad SAYad SAWNG

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

otm

first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:36 (twelve years ago)

i thought it was more SAYad sayad SAWNG

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:37 (twelve years ago)

It just occurred to me that the people praising "Heaven" are talking about Bryan Adams and not Warrant! This feels so relieving!

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:38 (twelve years ago)

I was seriously feeling a little sad. I thought La Lechera and I were on the same page up to that point.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:39 (twelve years ago)

DO NOT NUMBER ME IN THAT GROUP sund4r OR I WILL MURDER YOU

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:39 (twelve years ago)

warrant only

bryan adams' heaven is fine but I don't rate it in this convo

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:40 (twelve years ago)

Wait, does that mean that you prefer the Warrant version?
xpost Oh crap, I guess so.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:40 (twelve years ago)

yes.

yes it does.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:40 (twelve years ago)

I was def talkin about the Bryan Adams one.

had no idea WArrant had one!

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:41 (twelve years ago)

I think this is the second time a GURL has threatened me with violence over 80s music on ILM.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:41 (twelve years ago)

anyway I'm subverting the conversation to BEST powerballads

like dokken!!

definitely "Alone Again" is a master class in this

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:41 (twelve years ago)

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2012/353/e/e/jani_lane_by_kickstartmyheart94-d5oi00z.jpg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:42 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrSdXtFJG20

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:42 (twelve years ago)

what a shitty shitty band warrant were. cherry pie video is sexist drivel that gives rock a bad name

..it would have sounded about as heavy as Talulah Gosh. (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:43 (twelve years ago)

zzzz

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:44 (twelve years ago)

lol @ "cherry pie" being the moment rock and roll "went too far"

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:45 (twelve years ago)

that's the moment AG reconsidered patterned spandex

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:45 (twelve years ago)

gated drums on KISS album tracks was my moment of went-too-farness imo

first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:46 (twelve years ago)

I as going to post this as a Nuge joke but hearing it again it's actually pretty dope

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_uh8XjgLTE

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:46 (twelve years ago)

W.A.S.P.'s first single displayed more sexism and bad taste in the first minute than wArrant did in their entire careers!

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:46 (twelve years ago)

(but it's also hella awesome so I made my peace)

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:47 (twelve years ago)

W.A.S.P. got Reader's Digest articles written denouncing them! Boo hiss!

first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:47 (twelve years ago)

not sure you guys have heard the styx 'gulf war remix' of 'show me the way' i posted upthread but it's offensive on several different levels.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:48 (twelve years ago)

in a way, the ironic homoeroticism of 80's glam rock was quite possibly its most endearing feature

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:49 (twelve years ago)

"Show Me the Way" is one of my least favourite things ever and I like 70s Styx.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:49 (twelve years ago)

not sure you guys have heard the styx 'gulf war remix' of 'show me the way' i posted upthread but it's offensive on several different levels.

with the clips of Bush and soldiers shooting Fedeeyeen or something

first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:50 (twelve years ago)

And then there's the masters of this genre:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-greVjUEdc

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:50 (twelve years ago)

and since this is ILM:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcEu47mR43U

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:53 (twelve years ago)

not sure you guys have heard the styx 'gulf war remix' of 'show me the way' i posted upthread but it's offensive on several different levels.

Jesus Christ. I got one minute in before I wanted to vomit

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:53 (twelve years ago)

not a violent person, nor do I condone vigilantism, but if someone had shot Dennis DeYoung in the middle of performing this tune at a concert, I'd argue for acquittal on grounds of post-traumatic stress.

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:55 (twelve years ago)

to be fair tho, I think the 'Gulf War' remix was largely the invention of DJs and not Styx themselves....

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 01:56 (twelve years ago)

okay look if you want to talk about TERRIBLE then you need to talk about Pretty Boy Floyd

this is like a rough draft of Nikki Sixx's horrible 'Time for Change' with lyrics equally as bad and worse singing than Vince Neill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XlqXEAjLnU

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:02 (twelve years ago)

and while we're at it, Time for Change is fucking terrible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPA7nJscUpI

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:03 (twelve years ago)

the worst music ever made contained in one thread

..it would have sounded about as heavy as Talulah Gosh. (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:04 (twelve years ago)

grump

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:05 (twelve years ago)

the worst music ever made contained in one thread

yeah it's called Rolling Metal 2013

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:09 (twelve years ago)

jk

President Keyes, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:09 (twelve years ago)

Everything on this thread is straight-up amazing.

Please review your choices carefully. (seandalai), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 02:11 (twelve years ago)


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