amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

Hey Amanda Palmer, I heard you like fans, so I gave some fans to your fans so you can brag while you blog.

we're going to poll the poem, right?

Amanda Palmer Mod • 17 hours ago −
there has to be more than the news, the facts. making art is how I deal.

connect the dots

we all are.

That's a terrible Gary Numan lyric.

that poem is the same icky nonsense as that sufjan song about john wayne gacy

commenters doing God's work over there

ugh, forgot about that song

maura voices a reasonable opinion

amanda palmer fans tell her she is wrong, while not rebutting anything and question whether maura provides anything of value in life

please keep it up, maura, my life has been improved in some way by this

I don't know who pome is but whoever it is, that person is my new hero:

pome • 3 minutes ago

i'm feeling a little confused -- it seems like this "poem" doesn't rhyme? do you speak a dialect that makes it rhyme, because if so i think you should put a note at the top or something
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pome • a minute ago

"water" and "order" could rhyme, if you say them right
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pome • 3 minutes ago

Seems to me like you are the real "Dzhokhar" (Joker) for writing a poem that don't even rhyme!
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pome • 3 minutes ago

Date says April 21. Was wondering if you meant April 1, because you look the "fool" when you don't rhyme poetry.
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pome • 3 minutes ago

I wrote a poem about a boy.
A tragedy I didn't employ
A rhyming scheme when I did write
This travesty to words last night.
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pome • 3 minutes ago

you keep deleting comments but it remains obvious that this doesn't rhyme and should really rhyme if you want it to be a good poem.
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pome • 2 minutes ago

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A Bambi-eyed Bomber named Dzhokhar
Was known to be quite a pot smoker
His brother expires
As he squeals his tires
His driving t'was ever mediocre
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Seems to me like you are the real "Dzhokhar" (Joker) for writing a poem that don't even rhyme!

I see you working max

she is seriously the worst

― Call me at **BITCOIN (DJP), Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

But if Tori Amos had a forum back in the day...

i believe the right bun is dzhokhardy-har-har

i believe the right pun is dzhokhardy-har-har

oops

hey at least it rhymed

removing bookmark from this thread not because of the zings of all u good ppl but to protect what's left of my sanity

Amanda Palmer turned on the news
To see panicking people flee
It was a national tragedy
She said "What a calamity!
Now how can I make this about me?"

<3

What a bummer (i wrote all the songs)

carl poemliker • an hour ago −
This "poem" makes wonder what is down under..... amandas brain bc this "poem" definitely does NoT rhyme
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dying @ "carl poemliker"

descendent of edgar allan poemliker fyi

It wasn't me.

I'm mean, so I wanted to read that as 'carl pumlicker'.

Thing is, ALL of the bad press & criticism she gets for this feeds directly into her Artist-Fan Relationship and will be used in the future for sympathy/donations/etc. It's more or less the same thing as calling Sarah Palin stupid. The more you criticize, the more ammo you are giving her.

that said i can't help but wonder if any of her fans (or fans of her fans) have declared that max read needs to get laid. they do seem to disproportionately go after her female detractors. wonder why

no im feeling sort of snubbed actually :-(

maybe you should start referring to yourself as MAXINE read

any of the EMP ilxors going to take on AP?

I....will just say I was glad to be on the other coast.

oh wait, i guess it already happened? did i miss something in this thread or elsewhere?

can someone post the poem I'll be fucked if I load all 2000 messages and/or give her any web traffic

There once was a bomber from Nantucket...

ha

"you don’t know how to stop picking at your fingers.
you don’t know how little you’ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.
you don’t know how many times you can say you’re coming until they just stop believing you.
you don’t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.
you don’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.
you don’t know how convinced your parents were that having children would be, absolutely, without question, the correct thing to do.
you don’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until you’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.
you don’t know how to get away from your fucking parents."

http://www.avclub.com/articles/amanda-palmer-writes-a-poem-about-the-boston-marat,96802/

nb that is not the entire poem. you probably don't want to read the entire poem.

you can read the entire poem here should you so desire: http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/77087877.html

you don't know how much you'll regret reading the entire poem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TlBTPITo1I

that said i can't help but wonder if any of her fans (or fans of her fans) have declared that max read needs to get laid. they do seem to disproportionately go after her female detractors. wonder why

Wow. Like I knew her fans were dumb and evil, but still.

you don’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until you’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.

^^^^

is the line out of everything that makes me want to just yell WHAT THE FUCK

i'm sure the dude was counting down the hours until he couldn't follow his twitter feeds. seriously the most important concern.

She's gotta write a poem in the guestbook at the Anne Frank House that expresses sympathy for the Nazis to top this troll.

http://fivebyfivehundred.com/2013/04/22/poem-for-amanda-palmer/

If you listened to my music
You would not be so crazi
I'm sorry that it happened
That you became a Nazi

If the times for us were different
I would be your liebchen
So just remember what Anne sang
Don't stop beliebing

unreleased jeff mangum collab

http://fivebyfivehundred.com/2013/04/22/poem-for-amanda-palmer/

lol this just made me think of You're So Vain

Poem kinda reminded me of

http://www.louielouie.net/pix-2008/right-now-vid.jpg

God is killing moms and dogs haha wtf

fuckin god, chill out bro

But he just has to.