amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

just what we needed http://amandapalmer.net/blog/20130421/

You don't know how to get your eyebrows back

I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim-
Where they roll in their horror unheeded,
Without knowledge or luster or name.

^ hp lovecraft's preemptive poem about reading amanda palmer's poem about dzhokhar tsarnaev

amazing

she is seriously the worst

you don't know how much I don't need your poem right now

Site wanted me to download malwarethe Amanda Palmer app

Dear God,

Thank you for inventing the Comments section of every website ever.

Love always,
DDW

I love this.
I'm 18. He's a year older than I am. I think it was so strange how the media was interviewing his friends and acquaintances. They all said basically the same thing, that he was nice and friendly and this is totally unexpected.
Then I sat there and kind of realized that's the scary part. He was human and pretty 'normal'.
Some people are saying we should kill him or hate him. I hate the act he committed. I hate the pain he caused. I don't think I could ever hate him though, or wish death on him.
Or anyone else like him.
I was just talking about your bully blog last night actually. When I was about 12 or so I was on the beach down the street from me when the schools most renowned bully and all of his friends showed up. They pushed me around and called me a 'fat faggot' over and over again and broke my glasses and left me there.
Last year we were 17 and he threatened to blow up the school and he's now on house arrest. His futures permanently scarred. No one likes him. And he has no social life.
I was a victim of his and yet I feel bad for him.
Clearly he has problems.
We all have our own problems.
I wish people would remember that.
And I wish people would remember how fear is such a more intense feeling than happiness. It's more controlling. It's more physically shaking and paralyzing and controlling than a lot of our other emotions.
I'm glad they didn't kill him.
I hope he grieves.
And he fixes the damage he's inflicted somehow. By jailtime or something. I don't know.
But I also hope he finds himself again. And I hope he escapes whatever hell that's been shaking him.

followed a link to her blog from twitter on my phone -- the site asked if i wanted to install the amanda palmer app for android

surely that's worse than that simpy troll poem

the schools most renowned bully

i'm still trying to parse the outpouring of sympathy

smdh

So:

At the end of the poem, there's a link to donate to a relief fund for victims and survivors of the bombing.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER, there's a link to donate to Amanda Palmer, to compensate her for her time in writing her own blog.

this is so funny

five dollars, wonder what her acceptance rate is

this is messed up

Jesus, I always think you lot are a little bit harder on her than she deserves - I mean she's just a narcissistic nut doing what narcissistic nuts do - but this is really insane. It must be great to live so completely without embarrassment though.

you don't know how great it is

warning: hateful commenters trying to hack the blog by mimicking regular benevloent users’ names. please proceed with caution and respect.

. . .

you don’t know how to tell the girl in the chair next to you that you’ve been peeking at her dissertation draft and there’s a grammatical typo in the actual file name.

Oh my God you guys the fans of her fans are almost worse than her own fans.

where do i find the fans of her fans, is there some kind of earth-2 ilx for that?

just mention her on twitter and they come swarming

Hey Amanda Palmer, I heard you like fans, so I gave some fans to your fans so you can brag while you blog.

we're going to poll the poem, right?

Amanda Palmer Mod • 17 hours ago −
there has to be more than the news, the facts. making art is how I deal.

connect the dots

we all are.

That's a terrible Gary Numan lyric.

that poem is the same icky nonsense as that sufjan song about john wayne gacy

commenters doing God's work over there

ugh, forgot about that song

maura voices a reasonable opinion

amanda palmer fans tell her she is wrong, while not rebutting anything and question whether maura provides anything of value in life

please keep it up, maura, my life has been improved in some way by this

I don't know who pome is but whoever it is, that person is my new hero:

pome • 3 minutes ago

i'm feeling a little confused -- it seems like this "poem" doesn't rhyme? do you speak a dialect that makes it rhyme, because if so i think you should put a note at the top or something
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pome • a minute ago

"water" and "order" could rhyme, if you say them right
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pome • 3 minutes ago

Seems to me like you are the real "Dzhokhar" (Joker) for writing a poem that don't even rhyme!
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pome • 3 minutes ago

Date says April 21. Was wondering if you meant April 1, because you look the "fool" when you don't rhyme poetry.
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pome • 3 minutes ago

I wrote a poem about a boy.
A tragedy I didn't employ
A rhyming scheme when I did write
This travesty to words last night.
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pome • 3 minutes ago

you keep deleting comments but it remains obvious that this doesn't rhyme and should really rhyme if you want it to be a good poem.
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pome • 2 minutes ago

−

A Bambi-eyed Bomber named Dzhokhar
Was known to be quite a pot smoker
His brother expires
As he squeals his tires
His driving t'was ever mediocre
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Seems to me like you are the real "Dzhokhar" (Joker) for writing a poem that don't even rhyme!

I see you working max

she is seriously the worst

― Call me at **BITCOIN (DJP), Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

But if Tori Amos had a forum back in the day...

i believe the right bun is dzhokhardy-har-har

i believe the right pun is dzhokhardy-har-har

oops

hey at least it rhymed

removing bookmark from this thread not because of the zings of all u good ppl but to protect what's left of my sanity

Amanda Palmer turned on the news
To see panicking people flee
It was a national tragedy
She said "What a calamity!
Now how can I make this about me?"

<3

What a bummer (i wrote all the songs)

carl poemliker • an hour ago −
This "poem" makes wonder what is down under..... amandas brain bc this "poem" definitely does NoT rhyme
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dying @ "carl poemliker"

descendent of edgar allan poemliker fyi

It wasn't me.

I'm mean, so I wanted to read that as 'carl pumlicker'.

Thing is, ALL of the bad press & criticism she gets for this feeds directly into her Artist-Fan Relationship and will be used in the future for sympathy/donations/etc. It's more or less the same thing as calling Sarah Palin stupid. The more you criticize, the more ammo you are giving her.

that said i can't help but wonder if any of her fans (or fans of her fans) have declared that max read needs to get laid. they do seem to disproportionately go after her female detractors. wonder why

no im feeling sort of snubbed actually :-(

maybe you should start referring to yourself as MAXINE read