sometime i read christgau and am amazed...

I'm not a great fan of this approach, but it does seem defensible from a logical standpoint, as long as you understand his verbal shorthand -- of course, I think it's adequately demonstrated here that not everybody does, which suggests some kind of failure.

Anthony Miccio in Being a Different Person than Christgau Shocka.
(The Courtney Love album is very good, by the way; esp. the single. And I don't hear what Bob hears in it, either -- I also completely forget what *Tonight's the Night* was about -- but I still think that was the best-written review in this month's Consumer Guide. Especially the punchline about the world owing Courtney a living.)

PS: I've never been all that big a Bon Jovi fan.
PSS: The Blondie review made me laugh.

- Some predictable moron with his head up his ass

That was one of Momus's finest moments.

i found that i had no way at all to infer this from the limited information offered in the review

Isn't it sort of assumed that the honorable mentions are records the reader is already aware of? Would someone honestly feel inclined to purchase a record based upon the tone of a single sentence or phrase. I always read it as a way for him to deny responsibility if someone bought what they feel to be a shitty album. But really it's like "oh you like the Strokes well the new record basically repeats the first one. sorry, well you know it alright, i guess."

wilful obscurity as test of readership savvy is a rhetorical deadend imho

Just when our number's up
You smashed the loving cup
It spills out everywhere
It simply isn't fair
We light up fire flies
We kissed on New Years Night
We changed the century
All those romantic things
We changed the light to low
It made our spirits glow
If it were up to me
I'd never let you go
So If By Chance
You Should agree
Ohh tonight
We keep it Real
Toinght
We put an End to the End
And just go on and on
We wrote our name in lights
Made music every night
Heatwaves and rhapsody
Burn In my memory
We changed the light to low
It made our spirits glow
If it were up to me
I'd never let you go
So If By Chance
You Should agree
Ohh tonight
We keep it Real
Toinght
We put an End to the End
And just go on and on
Toinght
We put an End to the End
And just go on and on
Tonight
We Put
An End to the End
and just go on and on and on and
on and on and on and on
To the End the End the End
We try to put the End to End to End
End the End
End to the End the End the End
End To End
End To End

(Fade out...)
Oh, did I mention that I wish the Pope had a bigger dick?

I used to get sick with solitude
I was always better in the multitude
But now I like it up here all alone in my ivory tower
Hi-ho at the end of my rope
I watch it all through a telescope
I think I'd have a better chance to see the pope
I get so bored with his shtick and his mini-minute dick

xpost

Hilarity.

i mean i understand this is one way christgau deals with limited space allotment, and to his credit he certainly has formed an identifiable and oft-praised style of out this contingencies. but as i've noted before, on other threads, he often writes so elliptically that the meaning is lost on a great portion of the audience, and unlike chuck i'm not so quick to suggest this is a function of laziness or stupidity on the part of the voice readership. it is the author's primary duty, especially in a newspaper, to communicate ideas to his audience, and if there's a great failure to do so it's unbecoming to blame the audience (especially when the problematic ellipsis can be so easily pointed out). sort of like rock stars whining about rock critics, in fact.

Then again, if the ambiguity is entertaining enough, it will get people talking. Nice trick, that.

The Pope is hung like a rhino.

what else could it possibly refer to except that having listened to the album, xgau has concluded that blondie wish the pop had a bigger dick? my assumption was that there's a lyric somewhere on the album that leads him to believe that. but maybe something else made him say that -- something on the cd cover, something about the way she sings, who knows. i don't need to know right this second which it is. what does it matter? if i'm intrigued enough, i'll explore further. if i'm not, i'll move on to the next album and the next sentence.

I don't hate Christgau's writing, or his style, but even as an occasional defender, I have to say that I find the format unclear (obviously, since I've been reading them wrong).

Seconded.

Seconded.

please pay attention to the section before you start recommending they hire people who already write for it.

Good point. For people (or at least outer space aliens) who never heard of Blondie, the Pope, dicks, or reincarnation, it's completely understandable that they wouldn't be able to decipher Bob's cryptic runes. So yeah: Context is everything, I totally agree.

I haven't a goddamn clue!! If you honestly think that the first (or fiftieth) thought in my head when I read that was "I bet these are lyrical references," you're dreaming. What has me annoyed is that by your line of thinking, there's an allusion to the fact that if I don't get it, I'm stupid. (What Broheems is saying.)

he invented twitter.

see what I told you about heavy rock crit? ;-)

Also linked on the year-end polls 2013 thread. Wasn't sure which Christgau thread to post it on

http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Rock-Roll/The-Consensus-Has-Consequences/ba-p/12189 his essay

http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Rock-Roll/The-2013-Dean-s-List/ba-p/12191

85 albums but no singles

Here's some of the albums

1. Vampire Weekend: Modern Vampires of the City (XL)
2. The Uncluded: Hokey Fright (Rhymesayers)
3. The Julie Ruin: Run Fast (TJR)
4. Jeffrey Lewis & Peter Stampfel: Hey Hey It's...the Jeffrey Lewis & Peter Stampfel Band (self-released)
5. Live from Festival au Desert Timbuktu (Clermont Music)
6. Lady Gaga: Artpop (Streamline/Interscope)
7. Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP 2 (Deluxe Edition) (Aftermath)
8. Bassekou Kouyate & Ngoni ba: Jama Ko (Out Here)
9. Gogol Bordello: Pura Vida Conspiracy (ATO)
10. The Knife: Shaking the Habitual (Mute)
11. Parkay Quarts: Tally All the Things That You Broke (What's Your Rupture?)
12. Rilo Kiley: RKives (Little Record Company)
13. Rachid Taha: Zoom (Wrasse)
14. Deerhunter: Monomania (4AD)
15. Kate Nash: Girl Talk (Have 10P)

Anybody interested in this has probably already seen it, but if not, Christgau's 10 favourite movies:

Chinatown - Roman Polanski
A Hard Day’s Night - Richard Lester
Jackie Brown - Quentin Tarantino
Jules and Jim - Francois Truffaut
The Last Detail - Hal Ashby
Make Way for Tomorrow - Leo McCarey
Nothing but a Man - Michael Roemer
One-Eyed Jacks - Marlon Brando
Roma - Alfonso Cuaron
Where Is the Friend’s Home? - Abbas Kiarostami

Bill James announced he was giving up his online site today, so readers have been posting well wishes all day. In my comment, I mentioned the reader-question forums that Christgau and Marcus include on their sites, both of which came much later than James's "Hey Bill" feature. Another reader posted this after my comment:

I went to the same elementary school as R. Christgau, a few years behind, and he evidently had been so remarkable that some of the teachers would sometimes reference him, probably to both the pride and chagrin of his little sister who was in those classes of mine.

(My response to him: "Trying to imagine Christgau in grade school...The only kid ever who, at the end of the day, graded the teacher: 'Loved the math lesson, my attention started to wander during science, but overall, you're making progress from two months ago: B+.'")

"Forget Donna Summer—this is the real disco porn. She's covered on the cover right up to the clavicle, her rhythms sound more binary than her producer's, and she can't sing a lick. But even if you haven't seen her movies, she projects an exhibitionistic suck-and-fuck tractability that links the two pervasive fantasy media of our time, and from such conjunctions Great Art arises."

— More, More, More, reviewed in Christgau's Record Guide: Rock Albums of the Seventies (1981)

...

find one more xgau thread to stick this blurb!

Eh.... Don't you have some review to write that makes some really obvious error?

;-)

I will be sure to marvel at the size of women's breasts that I will get wrong.

(NB: I have way, way less patience for Christgau these days, so fire away)