pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

http://s3.vidimg.popscreen.com/original/14/eGtxZTNzMTI=_o_saturday-night-live-david-spades-hollywood-minute.jpg

“I saw Stone Temple Pilots this weekend. I liked them better the first time around…when they were called Pearl Jam.”

"we" is a bad idea in music reviews, period

it's fine if you're telling an anecdote about yourself and your friends

or if you are royalty

In retrospect, 2002 may have been the very year that I began listening to, and thinking about, music.

But the early-aughts New York of Turn on the Bright Lights is not the young, vibrant, and impossibly cool place of cultural myth. It is a darker and more complicated place, fraught with disappointment and disconnection. It is a crushingly real place, rendered in such vivid emotional detail that it rings true even to those who have never set foot in the city.

If anything, I'm guessing people who've never set foot in the city have an easier time believing this.

"real" is italicized in the original review, which means "really real"

only one paragraph of this review does not feature a word italicized for emphasis

keepin it real, crushin it.

Interpol's singular sound

it is super baffling to me how some people venerate Interpol

i dunno, i can see how if you were 15 when that album came out it could be a big thing to you. [not a backhanded compliment]

that is exactly how old i was when that album came out but nope

well except for the BOWWWW noises at the beginning of alternate measures of "untitled", i could listen to those all day

i love that first album but it's been straight diminishing returns, basically it's like REM if Michael Stipe's lyrics were blatantly come-ons to art students and they were 100% afraid to sell-out

it is super baffling to me how some people venerate Interpol

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Tuesday, December 4, 2012 4

i prefer antics tbh

I kind of do too, but only because it boasts the only two songs of theirs I love.

i prefer antics tbh

me too. it has better songs

antics has some high highs but patchy imo

but if you don't want to swim in the reverb of totbl i get it as a fave

was disappointed when I learned that line in "Evil' wasn't "I can take you places/yeah, maybe to the beach."

michael stipe's alleged threeway song was called "7 chinese brothers" and on album four he started to enunciate
paul banks' alleged threeway song was called "no I in threesome" and on album four he started to mumble

is it really not xp

rem wanted to be the best band in the world, interpol just wanted to fuck models and not have day jobs

It's even better:

Write, we'll take you places
Yeah maybe to the beach

rem wanted to be the best band in the world, interpol just wanted to fuck models and not have day jobs

oooh...HATE IS ON TRIAL

just as long as "yeah maybe to the beach" is intact

^^^Haha, that's what I was worried about, too!

Also thought "hate is on trial" was "hey, who's on trial?" though, so my dreams are being shattered itt regardless.

This did wonders for our hit count.

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/articles/staff_top_10/top-ten-worst-lines-on-interpols-first-album.htm

i still think there's something to be said for memorable bad poetry, but i hoped they'd evolve to bad poetry about the environment or something

rem wanted to be the best band in the world, interpol just wanted to fuck models and not have day jobs

― da croupier, Tuesday, December 4, 2012 2:49 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the second sounds like a better goal than the first to me

oh i respect it, i'm just explaining why in 1993 rem wasn't still pimping murmur

sure it is but Interpol forgot that writing songs was part of the day job

alfred - subway she is a porno should have been number 1!!

interpol as great-iconic-rock-band sucks but interpol as callow-new-wavers-with-nice-clothes-and-catchy-tunes rules

never forget: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2007/may/22/whyionlylistentoclassical

really should be an onion article

interpol as great-iconic-rock-band sucks but interpol as callow-new-wavers-with-nice-clothes-and-catchy-tunes rules

yeah i really got my hopes up for the class of '01-'03 but it's not like flock of seagulls had more than two decent albums in them either

After the Antics run, I felt that it was time to hang up my headphones. I regrouped and gave myself plenty of "alone time".

oh man, i did almost forget xxxp

Kessler was the bands only cutie. I don't know how that syphilitic pseudo-catamite bassist landed all the poon.

John Taylor was sensitive you know.

buddyhead claimed carlos d was a chubby chaser

but hey mike mills was allegedly the biggest womanizer in rem, so synergy strikes again

It is a crushingly real place, rendered in such vivid emotional detail that it rings true even to those who have never set foot in the city.

lemme take a quick stroll through the lyrics so i can remember all the references to the real 2002 NYC

first song is all about surprising someone and coming around
second is about a girl and she can read and he's stabbing himself in the neck
third song NYC should have some good ones. subway is a porno and pavements they are a mess. sure are, that's pretty true! +1
fourth song, sleep tight grim right, and he has two hundred couches. NYC has at least that many so +1
fifth says "i'm sick of this town", just like someone might have been sick of the real nyc in 2002, +1
sixth: "will you put my hands away? / will you be my man? / serve it up, don't wait / let's see about this ham"
Obstacle 2 mentions Route 7, i'm just going to assume that is the main street in NYC, it probably goes right by times sq. +1
eighth mentions a manhole +1
the ninth song is called Roland and has this repeating line: "My best friend's from Poland and, um, he has a beard." nothing about a city either. -0.7
tenth song, nothing about NYC
last song is leif erikson and it has nothing to do with NYC but since it's probably the best interpol song +1

i give this album a rating of 5.3

i give that post a 10.0

sixth: "will you put my hands away? / will you be my man? / serve it up, don't wait / let's see about this ham"

I don't want to verify.

i give it an 9.3, if your friend is a bearded Polish fellow named Roland you may well be in NYC

You know the summaries themselves read like most She Wants Revenge lyrics.

re: "will you put my hands away? / will you be my man? / serve it up, don't wait / let's see about this ham"

it's by no means authoritative but the first five lyrics sites i tried all have this same transcription.

so this is where u cunts are talking about this