amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

keep imagining someone named derek who is an asshole

with a jheri curl

"Hi I grow and brew my own tea and..."

"DIE."

LOL at Kickstopper
Let us not speak ill of Jherek, who is the best

to be fair, there is something undeniably awesome about the image of a dude named Derek with a jheri curl saying "call me.... JHEREK"

"call me.... JHEREK"

http://eightiesrefugeecamp.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/beyonder.jpg

All apologies to Jherek and those who know him; however the fake Jherek we have created is still hilarious and will live on in our dreams.

I keep imagining that Jherek isn't the asshole but his parents are, at the very least, pretentious.

HS classmate of mine is leader of a Prince covers band followed by thousands of Twin Cities cougars who enjoy a drink or seventeen. He can also be relied on for InfoWars links on Facebook.

An interesting open letter he posted here:

http://jherekbischoff.com/

Also, via his website, he was raised on a boat, and:

My brother and I played in the band The Dead Science together, and my father played drums in avant-garde bands in the 60s and 70s. His band Amra Arma’s main goal was to summon the spirit of Conan! They would wear loin cloths and put on those big old-fashioned scuba helmets that they had retrofitted with analog synthesizers that they would play with their tongues while bashing on their drum sets!

That's entirely too many exclamation marks but I can't help saluting his dad's band for trying to summon Conan.

yeah, I was skeptical at first, but he had me sold by the end

Creation of fake Jherek receives seal of approval from Friends Of Jherek

Fherek.

Frereks de nos Jhereks

it'll almost take the sting out of every shitty thing that happened this year if prince somehow manages to put the kibosh on this.

are you kidding, Amanda Palmer is exactly the type of naked theater kid that Prince adores (ill-advised Holocaust jokes aside)

it'll almost take the sting out of every shitty thing that happened this year if prince somehow manages to put the kibosh on this their tour bus blows up on the way to terminal five.

although the fact that she's already married to a 50-year-old is going to work against her

somehow i can see neil gaiman being all right with prince sexing his wife

somehow i can see ME being all right with prince sexing my wife

someone should point out to Amanda Palmer that every era of Prince includes HAVING ACTUAL EYEBROWS

also actual talent

boom

http://bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/01/22/amanda-palmer-antibullying-idea-clicks/oyE5jUVePav8MhxqufyKNM/story.html

this reminds me of when Jamie Kennedy made a documentary "about" hecklers but it was ultimately just about how critics hated his movies.

A couple of weeks ago, Amanda Palmer, the musician who became famous as one-half of the Dresden Dolls, logged on to her computer and did something we all do but are loath to admit: She typed her name into the search engine...

...for the 10th time that day.

Really glad your daily google search of your own name led you to a suicide case you could exploit. She has a habit of doing that doesn't she?

kickender

The first listing was a link to a blog item that bitterly criticized her. The critic called her a fake communist. Whatever that is.

Bullied by Jane Dark.

there are worse ways amanda palmer could distract from the kickstarter backlash than by corralling her fans for group hugs and i'm sure we'll see some of them before too long

so, if you missed the announcement on twitter….it’s official.
i am going to be a SPEAKER/PERFORMER at TED this year. LOOK!!!

i’ll be speaking/performing to and alongside some of the fastest-broadest-craziest-wisest-thinking minds of our times.
two of the the other musical guests are fucking BONO and PETER GABRIEL.
no pressure what.so.ever. nope.

if you don’t know what TED is, ima edumucate you right here and now (and ask for others to pitch in – since i know i have some serious TED-heads in the community)…but first, let me express to you how HUGE this is for me.

me speaking at TED is the equivalent of…
a violinist having her first solo concert at carnegie hall.
or an athlete getting invited to the olympics.
or like….anybody on earth being asked to give the commencement speech at harvard.
or a person who’s always wanted to be in “disney on ice” finally getting hired by “disney on ice”.

it’s giant.

the whole post is amazing

http://www.amandapalmer.net/blog/20130113/

then again, who else but amanda palmer could write a mini-ukulele-opera and get MORE to the core point of connection and crowdfunding and money and energy and art and love than a simple talk could? this is the kind of shit i do.

i know basically what i want to talk about. i mean, its obvious.
something about me

just relentless awfulness

^bully

It's a pretty gross post. So it is about how she was googling herself, ran across this other Amanda who killed herself and left behind a video about being bullied.

First she spends a few paragraphs talking about herself and how hard it is googling. Then she proclaims that she is turning this girl into a celebrity. She doesn't write about this girl, and she obviously didn't try and learn anything about her other than her age. She immediately shifts it back to herself and tastelessly discards the tragedy as something she's too busy to notice ("i was on tour, i missed the news. but maybe it’s easy to keep missing the news when kids are killing themselves left and right.") She embeds the girl's video and does not discuss it or the girl any further in the rest of the blog. Instead she says it "kills her" (tasteful, AFP!) that she, too, made a video with words drawn on paper. What do those words say? It doesn't matter. Because here is AP's video promoting her album and how she is the Future of Music right underneath ("i wasn’t killing myself. (tasteful, AFP!) i was doing this"). "the poetry of this is not lost on (her)." so just to make sure it's not lost on you she posts two screengrabs from those videos so you can see how alike in suffering and poetry she is with this deceased girl whose message she really doesn't have time to get into. "i wish i’d found her." Yes, if only Amanda could have saved her life. Maybe she could dress up as Jesus for that. The rest of the blog continues the Journey to the Center of Palmer's Ego (which is the command center where she gives her fans orders).

I realize that's a horribly negative look at this post, and I certainly don't think it is right to make light of anybody's death, much less suicide. Comparing the pressures of navigating a publicity stunt to a suicide is not ok.

http://www.amandapalmer.net/blog/20130105/

then again, who else but amanda palmer could write a mini-ukulele-opera and get MORE to the core point of connection and crowdfunding and money and energy and art and love than a simple talk could? this is the kind of shit i do.

I don't know, David Byrne or something? Who am I, answer man?

“dear amanda todd (RIP), dear phoebe prince (RIP), dear amy pond who beats me in the google search for ‘i hate am…’ by just a few notches

I mean she asks way more sympathy or herself than she offers these suicides memes. At one point she sees herself writing words of encouragement, and then asks fans for free content. She doesn't try and sympathize with these girls, and points to her recent success in promoting the record-breaking kickstarter release and tour as the main source of pain in her life. How many depressed kids do you think talk constantly about how awesome they are? How many google their names so much they have a nickname for it?

Ego-surfing! The title is "internet hatred", not "holy shit, suicide is a real thing and let's help out in whatever way we can". It's all about her. Her entire enterprise is Ego-surfing.

"Sadly, we don't know what they'd say right now, if we could hear the dead talk. But, you can watch my TED Talk."

but their legacy lives on
hewn into the living rock
of my TED talk

i hate owl city
i hate owen wilson
i hate owning a business
fun game imo

yeah, this is pretty objectionable

This is some cold soul-stealing shit.

She seems to be a fairly wretched person.

The wife adores Neil Gaiman and watching AP at work has actually diminished him in her eyes.

Guilt by association.

- AP makes video referencing oft-referenced Dylan clip, which is clever because it is a reference
- teenage girl makes video featuring similar device and it is a SIGN that she has done the same thing as AP's stunningly novel work because whoa what are the chances

Anyway I am sorry for what happened to this girl and I do agree with AP that I'm glad that Facebook didn't exist in my teenage years to be some shrill peer-pressure echo chamber for the meanest impulses of insecure-but-cooler-than-you kids to type the stuff they wouldn't even dare say to your face, piped into your own bedroom every evening... but yeah, what a tasteless excuse to talk about yourself some more

‏@alyankovic
You guys have each other's e-mail address, right? RT @neilhimself: @amandapalmer I am coming home to you.

lol

me speaking at TED is the equivalent of…
a violinist having her first solo concert at carnegie hall.
or an athlete getting invited to the olympics.
or like….anybody on earth being asked to give the commencement speech at harvard.
or a person who’s always wanted to be in “disney on ice” finally getting hired by “disney on ice”.

so she's been training for a TED talk since she was 6 years old?

More like the equivalent of a reality show contestant becoming a host of the nightly news.
or the guy who masturbates in the library getting voted onto the university board of regents.