amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

Explaining why they chose to perform Purple Rain this New Year’s, Palmer shares, “The members of the Grand Theft Orchestra (me, Chad, Michael and Jherek) all come from very different musical backgrounds and have wildly different tastes, but there is ONE THING on our venn diagram that overlaps in the "perfect album" department, and that's PURPLE RAIN. We all grew up worshipping this record. Everybody already knows the songs cold (Jherek used to actually be IN A PRINCE COVER BAND) and we're all going to take turns singing and swapping instruments. The band will, of course, be dressed in our finest Prince-esque finery, covering all aspects of Prince, his facial hair, and his various eras of nudity. We're also encouraging the entire audience to "come as your favorite era of prince". I want to run around counting people in ASSLESS CHAPS, and maybe give them door prizes for bravery. New Years Eve is cold.”

She really like USING CAPITALS, huh?

covering all aspects of Prince, his facial hair, and his various eras of nudity

what the hell wrong with u

Maybe she and Neil will come out and duet on "When 2 R in Love" butt naked except for a huge flower.

excuse me, I appear to be dying from lols

Wonder if she'll paint on some Prince facial hair in the same style as her eyebrows?

the question isn't "will she paint on Prince facial hair?", it's "how many times will she run backstage and change her Prince facial hair?"

Ugh, she's totally writing "SLAVE" on her face, too.

I assumed she would be writing "SLAVE" on her chest

That's fucked up, but she's got a great band, so she's halfway there.

Dan, I hear she is asking for $10,000 not to do this. I believe they call it Kickstopper.

Which Prince songs have the most bellowing?

xp: lol

hahaha

She should be asking the audience to volunteer and show up and cheer at the end of "Baby I'm a Star" and "Purple Rain" and not get paid for it. Wait, hold on.

she's totally writing SLAVE for her eyebrows

Jherek

keep imagining someone named derek with a jheri curl

keep imagining someone named derek who is an asshole

with a jheri curl

"Hi I grow and brew my own tea and..."

"DIE."

LOL at Kickstopper
Let us not speak ill of Jherek, who is the best

to be fair, there is something undeniably awesome about the image of a dude named Derek with a jheri curl saying "call me.... JHEREK"

"call me.... JHEREK"

http://eightiesrefugeecamp.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/beyonder.jpg

All apologies to Jherek and those who know him; however the fake Jherek we have created is still hilarious and will live on in our dreams.

I keep imagining that Jherek isn't the asshole but his parents are, at the very least, pretentious.

HS classmate of mine is leader of a Prince covers band followed by thousands of Twin Cities cougars who enjoy a drink or seventeen. He can also be relied on for InfoWars links on Facebook.

An interesting open letter he posted here:

http://jherekbischoff.com/

Also, via his website, he was raised on a boat, and:

My brother and I played in the band The Dead Science together, and my father played drums in avant-garde bands in the 60s and 70s. His band Amra Arma’s main goal was to summon the spirit of Conan! They would wear loin cloths and put on those big old-fashioned scuba helmets that they had retrofitted with analog synthesizers that they would play with their tongues while bashing on their drum sets!

That's entirely too many exclamation marks but I can't help saluting his dad's band for trying to summon Conan.

yeah, I was skeptical at first, but he had me sold by the end

Creation of fake Jherek receives seal of approval from Friends Of Jherek

Fherek.

Frereks de nos Jhereks

it'll almost take the sting out of every shitty thing that happened this year if prince somehow manages to put the kibosh on this.

are you kidding, Amanda Palmer is exactly the type of naked theater kid that Prince adores (ill-advised Holocaust jokes aside)

it'll almost take the sting out of every shitty thing that happened this year if prince somehow manages to put the kibosh on this their tour bus blows up on the way to terminal five.

although the fact that she's already married to a 50-year-old is going to work against her

somehow i can see neil gaiman being all right with prince sexing his wife

somehow i can see ME being all right with prince sexing my wife

someone should point out to Amanda Palmer that every era of Prince includes HAVING ACTUAL EYEBROWS

also actual talent

boom

http://bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/01/22/amanda-palmer-antibullying-idea-clicks/oyE5jUVePav8MhxqufyKNM/story.html

this reminds me of when Jamie Kennedy made a documentary "about" hecklers but it was ultimately just about how critics hated his movies.

A couple of weeks ago, Amanda Palmer, the musician who became famous as one-half of the Dresden Dolls, logged on to her computer and did something we all do but are loath to admit: She typed her name into the search engine...

...for the 10th time that day.

Really glad your daily google search of your own name led you to a suicide case you could exploit. She has a habit of doing that doesn't she?

kickender

The first listing was a link to a blog item that bitterly criticized her. The critic called her a fake communist. Whatever that is.

Bullied by Jane Dark.

there are worse ways amanda palmer could distract from the kickstarter backlash than by corralling her fans for group hugs and i'm sure we'll see some of them before too long

so, if you missed the announcement on twitter….it’s official.
i am going to be a SPEAKER/PERFORMER at TED this year. LOOK!!!

i’ll be speaking/performing to and alongside some of the fastest-broadest-craziest-wisest-thinking minds of our times.
two of the the other musical guests are fucking BONO and PETER GABRIEL.
no pressure what.so.ever. nope.

if you don’t know what TED is, ima edumucate you right here and now (and ask for others to pitch in – since i know i have some serious TED-heads in the community)…but first, let me express to you how HUGE this is for me.

me speaking at TED is the equivalent of…
a violinist having her first solo concert at carnegie hall.
or an athlete getting invited to the olympics.
or like….anybody on earth being asked to give the commencement speech at harvard.
or a person who’s always wanted to be in “disney on ice” finally getting hired by “disney on ice”.

it’s giant.