THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. New Musical Express isn't musical nor does it express. Discuss.

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

How new is it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

It came out at lunchtime today, that's pretty new.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

How good was "Old musical express" before the takeover?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.jamesshuggins.com/i/hum1/burnout.jpg

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

I would say it was much better than the new one were that not a possible falsehood, bearing in mind that I've not been tempted even to browse in the thing in WH Smiths since about 2000.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mr-agreeable.net/stubbs/default.asp

mr agreeable site

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

..instead the NME dish up Doherty / Oasis tosh.

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), Today 3:35

but, isn't this the logical outcome of Systems Thinking?

― -- (688), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

Remember that Melody Maker never made any Melodies.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

this thread has lost it.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

At least this thread reminds us every time we open it of Carmody's theory that Ocean Colour Scene was a Tory conspiracy.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Theory?

― Annie Get Your Gin (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Well, Carmody claimed that almost everything that occurred in Britain from 1911 to 1997 was a Tory conspiracy so you kinda forget which ones were real and which ones weren't.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

So that future generations can read this thread and know what the indie rave album they HAD to hear was, it's something called Digital Penetration that costs a fiver and features the Klaxons. The review of it is something of a new rave manifesto, or seemed to be as I skimmed it really quickly. It's just a pity that The Klaxons sound like Test Icicles part 2.

The FABRICLIVE cut copy does get a mention elsewhere in the issue. Apparently it is "Italo flavoured." On the same page as that we are told that Alan Brake (their spelling) and Fred Falke have done one of their Italo Disco remixes for some indie nonce.

Oh, and Babyshambles have written a song that "makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs." Maybe that's why Doherty feels he should apologise.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't Oasis stop the Smurfs from covering Wonderwall? Is that what they meant?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs

What the fuck does that even mean?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

I fancy listening to the Smurfs version of "I Wanna Be A Hippy" now.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

What the fuck does that even mean?

Smoke some crack and you'll 'get it.'

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

I bet NME never got shit like this in 1928.

― JTS (JTS), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 23:12 (nineteen years ago)

Worthless music in the NME is no surprise, but who in god's name designs those covers? Is the graphics department run by chimpanzees? Even the tabloids are better put together.

― Ice Cream Electric (Ice Cream Electric), Thursday, 27 July 2006 00:24 (nineteen years ago)

i think i might like the covers more, if they were less red and black, and more blue and green

― -- (688), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

Joyce Grenfeld is a LEGEND. She should be on the cover of NME when her nursery school tapes get reissued. ROCK ON!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

man like simon reynolds is backing the klaxons.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Friday, 28 July 2006 07:54 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno if "it had to happen i spose" = backing.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Friday, 28 July 2006 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

This band are SERIOUSLY in need of a punch.

― fandango (fandango), Friday, 28 July 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

the NME try to get analytical: War on EMO? Which side are you on?

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcoverEMO_L160906.jpg

they should have have been ridiculing these EMO artists from the start, but no they gave them coverage

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:10 (nineteen years ago)

there are probably other artists, that they could have given coverage to :(

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

This is really ridiculuos.

― zeus (zeus), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

I just saw the cover in the shop just now and was coming back to post it.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

aww, all the little Kaiser Chiefs fans in Doncaster must be growing up :D get a move on Conor!

this is a good way to put two of the most genuinely popular with 'ver kids (yet un-incubated by the NME Britpop 2.0 bullshit dept) rock bands ON THE COVER whilst simultaneously trying to give off a "still relevant" look, like they haven't dropped the ball completely w/r/t covering what the yoof who are now 15 and up are listening to.

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

Esteban Buttez: "The judges aren't stupid, just worthless cunts."

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

What is SH*TOR DISCO?

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

trend analysis 2006/7

indie kids > metal
emo kids > metal

NME > fucked
Kerrang > smug & creamy

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:42 (nineteen years ago)

Whatevah the NME's position on emo is, mine is the opposite.

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

The Hip Hop Wars were never like this.

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

What NME should be covering this week: Mastodon

http://www.terrorizer.co.uk/images/issues/bigt149.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

If Panic! At The Disco are getting threatened in the street The Killers UK tour should be pretty short.

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

Can the Arctic Monkeys save us from this American invasion???

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

ripvanwinkle.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:52 (nineteen years ago)

I pitched that Welsh scene report idea but they were way ahead of me. I'd like to write for Terrorizer

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

Can Eric sort the NME out? When did Eric Fuller edit Sounds magazine?

new managing director of IPC ignite! starts September 18th

IPC MEDIA APPOINTS ERIC FULLER MANAGING DIRECTOR OF IPC IGNITE!
http://tinyurl.com/hmd8b

IPC Media chief executive Sylvia Auton today announces the appointment of Eric Fuller, currently publishing director of IPC ignite! magazines, Nuts and Loaded, to the role of managing director
of IPC ignite!

.....

Eric joins the IPC Media board on September 18, 2006 and will oversee the IPC ignite! portfolio of men's and music magazines, Nuts, Loaded, NME and Uncut and their digital brand extensions, including the market-leading NME.COM.

.....

Eric started his career at Spotlight Magazines' music weeklies Sounds and Record Mirror, both of which he edited. He was promoted to publishing director of Kerrang! and also worked in the US as group publisher of Guitar Player and other magazines for musicians.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

also look who has turned up at 6 Music

ex NME writer

Imran Ahmed
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/music_week/biog_imran.shtml

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

Another good excuse for me not to invest in a digital radio.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

Imran actually admitted to a friend of mine that his sole reason for working at the long dead NME was not because he had the slightest interest in music, but to get himself on the radio, and presumably from there into some kind of meeja career. Hmm, a bit like John Peel then.
-- snotty moore (liljelvi...), March 12th, 2005 12:03 AM. (link)

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

Cut his ears off now, if he hasn't the slightest interest in music.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

dj martian, why do you care so much about what 14 year olds are listening to?

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

bit extreme.

xpost

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

As I've said before, if anyone thinks Imran Ahmed's hip-hop writing was bad, you need to see his pro-wrestling journalism. In particular his celebration of Bill Goldberg's wide ranging moveset.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway, I was torn between starting up a new thread and bumping this one to discuss teh indie v emo warz, but we may as well carry on here.

Thoughts:

1) Emo has basically left the NME fucked. Kerrang are back ahead in the ABC figures, and the NME is torn between appealing to its current readers by saying "Look at these poofs from America, I bet they don't drink WKD like real men such as the Fratellis do", and going "Well, there's a lot more money in emo than indie by the end of this year, let's break out the eyeliner". So, yeah, it basically is the modern day equivalent of the hip-hop wars.
2) NME-endorsed hatred of indie hatred of emo basically boils down to misogyny, right?
3) Where does this leave the Killers?
4) Mastodon fucking suck.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:52 (nineteen years ago)

why misogyny?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

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