R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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How does one hear a darnielle cover of ignition and not hear the original?

― deej., Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

To quote:
simonides3: dude r's description of sex is kind of ridic
simonides3: its like hearing someone who's never gotten laid talk about sex
OneVanBeeth: hahahaha
simonides3: the leg cramp
OneVanBeeth: yeah
OneVanBeeth: "shit think shit think"
simonides3: i mean whatever r, just move your leg, not a big deal
-- Candicissima (candicissim...), June 4th, 2005.

oh my god, so the entertaining R. Kelly line is not logical! Who would have thought? My point remains - the leg cramp sequence is the finest dramatic moment in the last fifty years of radioplay. NOT SINCE WAR OF THE WORLDS, etc.
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), June 4th, 2005.

erm yeah to clarify, in context i (simonides) wasnt hating on the r's logic or the leg cramp line, which i think is fuckin fantastic. the fact that r describes his graphic sex scene in the same absurdist, melodramatic, counterlogical, gratuitously digressing way as he talks about everything else is amazing.

which makes part 4 easily way better than part 3, a lil better than part 2, and approaching the level of genius of part 1. chapter 5 is a bit of a letdown just because it's so rushed, but i'll be stunned if there isn't some sort of remix/extended chapters shit on the bonus disc or something...right? please?

― swvl (vozick), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

if I had to rate them: 2 > 1 > 4 > 3 > 5

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh. I'm just bitter I was wrong about it not being a dream. But that whole sequence was still pretty insipid for a play by play even for him. Are they going to have a sequence in the video where his dick goes soft upon finding the rubber in the covers?

Anyhoo, I think 2 > 1 > 3 > 5 > 4

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought 2 > 4 > 1 > 5 > 3 (3 is so dull!)

― deej., Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

How does one hear a darnielle cover of ignition and not hear the original?

internet innit! really, I haven't encountered a Kelly song on Australian radio or telly since 1992. I just saw/heard Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z for the first time five minutes ago, too.

― kit brash (kit brash), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

4 > 3 > 2 > 1 > 5

with the understanding that all five rank among the most beautiful things I will see in pop culture this year.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

3, 2 and 1 could all switch around depending on which catchphrase I'm thinking of that moment. "Shit, think, shit, think" vs. "now you'll learn the SHOCKING truth" vs. "CHUCK SAYS WE'RE IN LOVE!!!" = everybody wins.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Also the part where he actually mimics the sound of a siren.
= OTM

Also, the beeps in part 5 are great.

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

4>2>1>3>5

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Saturday, 4 June 2005 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"KATHY SAYS "'LOVE' MY ASS" is underrated.

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Saturday, 4 June 2005 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Everybody overhates #5.

― deej., Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah #5 has some pretty good shit in it. I hope the beeps are part of the finished product, hence why they are inconsistent, cos that would make it phenomenol.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Saturday, 4 June 2005 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

man, this whole ordeal just puts a smile on my face. thanks r.

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

part 1 is undeniable! it's the only one where i feel like the escalating drama/cliffhanger end isn't forced. plust it's *simple*--I'd've preferred fewer characters, less scene-changes, more R just trillin about the dresser or the kitchen countertop--more description.

― Jimmy_tango, Saturday, 4 June 2005 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Can someone please post the lyrics of part 5?

Yes, I would have also preferred that the entire suite take place in the closet.

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Monday, 6 June 2005 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

oh and how does one get to hear a D4rN1e11e version of Ignition??

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Monday, 6 June 2005 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

he does a bit of it at the end of a Boys Are Back In Town cover than Music For Robots blogged last year. the Bonnie Prince Billy & Matt Sweeney was also a live mp3 blog jobbie - sluggishly propulsive, comes across almost as real-time screwed&chopped.

― kit brash (kit brash), Monday, 6 June 2005 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm writing a piece about "Trapped" and I'm torn as to how much to reveal to the reader about the events of the later chapters. should I even worry about 'spoilers' when the end of the story is so dull?

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 6 June 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you worried about spoilers because the later chapters haven't been "officially" released yet?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 6 June 2005 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

no, I'm worried about spoilers because presumably the reader won't have heard all of them, or maybe has only heard Chapter 1 (which so far is the only one that's an official single/video release).

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 6 June 2005 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's tough. Ordinarily, I wouldn't worry about spoilers for a song, or series of songs, but I think R. has rewritten the rules a bit.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 6 June 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Chapter 5 is totally confusing to me, I don't really understand what happened. Was the whole thing a sting by R.'s woman to catch him cheating? And what happened to Tron???

― La Monte (La Monte), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got #3 and #5, but no #4... And I don't want to ruin #4 by listening to #5 - am I missing the yousendit link up there?

― Jay Watts III (jaywatts), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

chapter 4:
http://lemon-red.blogspot.com/2005/05/ive-run-out-of-rkelly-pictures.html

― La Monte (La Monte), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it's not working! Oh well.

he said "ho, I should've known
that you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house

I misheard "bog shit up in my house" last night as shtuppin' in my house, and I thought it was bizarre that R. was using a yiddishism, till I realized it was the radio edit.

― Jay Watts III (jaywatts), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Err, that would be "bogus shit," not "bog shit."

― Jay Watts III (jaywatts), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The video for part 1 is up on the R's website. It's pretty great. They really managed to capture the cheap plastic quality of daytime soaps.

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

someone guna ysi all 5?

― charleston charge (chaki), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

> she says ok wipes her nose and then askeds me about a girl named tina

I guess this isn't a methaphor, then?

Speculation: Roxanne's a man!

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

She was crying perhaps?

― Candicissima (candicissima), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The Trouble With Tina

“You play with your dick so much that your balls are red for the next five days,” he said. “Tina takes you down to the level of basically our roots as men — the animalistic part of yourself. You kind of lose your head and the next thing you know you are having sex for as many hours as you can with as many people as you can.”

Hmm.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 9 June 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

my favorite part about Chapter 5 is the couplet:

"then she said Roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named Chuck
Chuck's cool with this guy named Rufus and I'm sitting there like what the fuck!"

I'd like to think he picked the name Chuck just to make that rhyme work later on.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 9 June 2005 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Rufus Thomas. And the funky Chuck'en.

― Jay Watts III (jaywatts), Thursday, 9 June 2005 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't been satisfied with any of them since pt. 1, really. 2 was pretty good.

But yeah, they're still gripping as hell.

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Thursday, 9 June 2005 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Alright people! The following R. Kelly albums* have turned up in local remainder/parallel import shops at ten bucks each (1/3 the price of new CDs here).

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000053B.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004WIZA.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000050T.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001VOHH0.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

Which ONE is most going to satisfy a listener enraptured by the ridiculous drama of the Trapped In The Closet saga?

*(also the Public Announcement one, but fuck that)

― kit brash (kit brash), Friday, 10 June 2005 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Buy them all! (if you only buy one, buy 12 Play)

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Friday, 10 June 2005 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

how come TP3 hasn't leaked yet ? i mean, we're only 3 weeks before its release !?

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Friday, 10 June 2005 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Part 2 video

I'm so distracted by the guy who plays Rufus because he's such a hybrid of Fonzworth Bentley and that guy from the Jamie Foxx show. I'm also glad that the "I'm going to shoot you" thing as Rufus goes to open up the door at the end looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 18 June 2005 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

from the 11 things you should know about R. Kelly on that page

#10. R. Kelly is undeniably a patriot.

yes. i love this man.

― WHUTWHUTWHUT, Saturday, 18 June 2005 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

'Playas Only', both video and song = not so hot.
Game ain't helpin'.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 18 June 2005 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I am quite fond of R.'s "This is making me think" face.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://www.ucbtheatre.com/schedule/showdetails.php?showid=783
Trapped In The Closet
Join Eric Appel and a special guest panel as they view and discuss R. Kelly's un-ironic 5 part hip-hopera, TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET, also known as, "The most unintenionally hilarious music video of all time." With Eric Appel, Brian Berrebbi, Kate Spencer, and Paul Scheer

I think even an "ironic" indie cover would be preferable to this.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

ugh, god.

"unintentionally". bah.

― sean gramophone (Sean M), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

haven't been able to find an online link anywhere, but according to the Red Eye Parts 6-10 were shown as a surprise after 1-5 at a premeire party over the weekend.

― jonviachicago, Tuesday, 12 July 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

wtf yeah 'un-ironic' did they miss the BOOPS in part 5!?!?!!

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1505520/20050711/kelly_r.jhtml?headlines=true

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

omg he acted one out! WHY DIDN'T YOU FILM IT LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE, KELLS!?!?!?!?!

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

as much as I enjoy the videos, I still wish he had done them all "U Saved Me" style.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

"and even acted out the words to one of the episodes before hosting a party at Le Passage"!!!!!!

xpost

― Baaderonixx le Belge (Fabfunk), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

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