R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

oh my god, so the entertaining R. Kelly line is not logical! Who would have thought? My point remains - the leg cramp sequence is the finest dramatic moment in the last fifty years of radioplay. NOT SINCE WAR OF THE WORLDS, etc.
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), June 4th, 2005.

erm yeah to clarify, in context i (simonides) wasnt hating on the r's logic or the leg cramp line, which i think is fuckin fantastic. the fact that r describes his graphic sex scene in the same absurdist, melodramatic, counterlogical, gratuitously digressing way as he talks about everything else is amazing.

which makes part 4 easily way better than part 3, a lil better than part 2, and approaching the level of genius of part 1. chapter 5 is a bit of a letdown just because it's so rushed, but i'll be stunned if there isn't some sort of remix/extended chapters shit on the bonus disc or something...right? please?

Heh. I'm just bitter I was wrong about it not being a dream. But that whole sequence was still pretty insipid for a play by play even for him. Are they going to have a sequence in the video where his dick goes soft upon finding the rubber in the covers?

Anyhoo, I think 2 > 1 > 3 > 5 > 4

internet innit! really, I haven't encountered a Kelly song on Australian radio or telly since 1992. I just saw/heard Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z for the first time five minutes ago, too.

with the understanding that all five rank among the most beautiful things I will see in pop culture this year.

Also, the beeps in part 5 are great.

Yes, I would have also preferred that the entire suite take place in the closet.

he said "ho, I should've known
that you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house

I misheard "bog shit up in my house" last night as shtuppin' in my house, and I thought it was bizarre that R. was using a yiddishism, till I realized it was the radio edit.

I guess this isn't a methaphor, then?

Speculation: Roxanne's a man!

“You play with your dick so much that your balls are red for the next five days,” he said. “Tina takes you down to the level of basically our roots as men — the animalistic part of yourself. You kind of lose your head and the next thing you know you are having sex for as many hours as you can with as many people as you can.”

Hmm.

"then she said Roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named Chuck
Chuck's cool with this guy named Rufus and I'm sitting there like what the fuck!"

I'd like to think he picked the name Chuck just to make that rhyme work later on.

But yeah, they're still gripping as hell.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000053B.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004WIZA.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000050T.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001VOHH0.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

Which ONE is most going to satisfy a listener enraptured by the ridiculous drama of the Trapped In The Closet saga?

*(also the Public Announcement one, but fuck that)

I'm so distracted by the guy who plays Rufus because he's such a hybrid of Fonzworth Bentley and that guy from the Jamie Foxx show. I'm also glad that the "I'm going to shoot you" thing as Rufus goes to open up the door at the end looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

#10. R. Kelly is undeniably a patriot.

yes. i love this man.

I think even an "ironic" indie cover would be preferable to this.

"unintentionally". bah.

xpost