THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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"There's always been a dance element to my music" says Paolo Nutini

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

grindiemo would be awesome, just for the lulz.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

Last weekend there were 2 niche festivals in England:

Futuresonic
http://www.futuresonic.com/
[Manchester]

and

SuperSonic
http://www.capsule.org.uk/Supersonic/
[Birmingham]

..instead the NME dish up Doherty / Oasis tosh.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

grindiemo would be awesome, just for the lulz.

http://www.getcapewearcapefly.com/

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

I think a bunch of ilxors should storm the NME office in a musical revolution and take over.

Whos with me?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/comedyspecial_1.jpg

― Citizen Smith (Kerr), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

Docherty isn't talentless although it is easier for you to think he is so he can represent.... spomething, for you.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

You're right. He's clearly supremely talented... at getting himself in the papers.

― Silver Machine Manor (kate), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

NEW WAVE OF BRITISH BAGGY SHOEGAZE ROMO NEW ACOUSTIC GRINDIE RAVECORE

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Did you hear that tuneless drivel of a single he released last year?

If MM was still with us, Doherty would abused by Mr Agreeable every week !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

Docherty isn't talentless although it is easier for you to think he is so he can represent.... spomething, for you.

Indeed. I too would like this constant wave of Jack Docherty-bashing to stop.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

Did you hear that tuneless drivel of a single he released last year?
If MM was still with us, Doherty would abused by Mr Agreeable every week !

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...) (webmail), Today 3:40 PM. (djmartian) (later) (link)

Mr. Agreeable was long gone from MM when it bit the dust.

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

If MM was still with us, Doherty would be on the cover every other week. Just like Liam and Noel were in '96.

DJ Martian, I do kinda sympathise with your hankering for a music press which functioned as it did in the late 80s/early 90s, but have you not, even after all these years of complaining about the NME on ILM, begun to accept that for a multitude of reasons those days are firmly in the past and will never return?

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

does NME still do Thrills?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

Indeed. I too would like this constant wave of Jack Docherty-bashing to stop.

-- ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (estebanbutte...), July 25th, 2006.

-1.0

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

but have you not, even after all these years of complaining about the NME on ILM, begun to accept that for a multitude of reasons those days are firmly in the past and will never return?

LOSER TALK! DAMN QUITTERS

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

I find Martian's resilience strangely heart-warming.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

-1.0

Aw, come on. It had to be done.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

does NME still do Thrills?

Well the only two copies of NME I've read in the last 5 years were the Peel and Syd tribute issues and there seemed to be no attempt to take the piss out of pop stars therein. Unless the Kasabian interview in last week's was the subtlest piece of satire since Swift. The NME is clearly a PR journal for various "indie" acts these days and nothing else. Ho hum.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

"Thrills" was usually pretty rank back in the day, in any case. sub c*l*m humour, most of the time.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

True.

But the "diary of Kurt and Courtney" and/or "Evan/Juliana" were some good things, until reality kinda took teh funnie away...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

Collins and Maconie were/are no match for teh Stubbs.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

i think calling Johnny Cigs-type humour 'sub Calum' is some wack ordering.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

nah. i know stubbs is more 'one of us'-y but nah.

xpost

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

could it be FABRICLIVE cut copy the 'indie rave' album they are bigging?

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

ok, "proto-c*l*m".

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

I liked 'Techno News with Troy Wembley'

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. New Musical Express isn't musical nor does it express. Discuss.

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

How new is it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

It came out at lunchtime today, that's pretty new.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

How good was "Old musical express" before the takeover?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.jamesshuggins.com/i/hum1/burnout.jpg

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

I would say it was much better than the new one were that not a possible falsehood, bearing in mind that I've not been tempted even to browse in the thing in WH Smiths since about 2000.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mr-agreeable.net/stubbs/default.asp

mr agreeable site

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

..instead the NME dish up Doherty / Oasis tosh.

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), Today 3:35

but, isn't this the logical outcome of Systems Thinking?

― -- (688), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

Remember that Melody Maker never made any Melodies.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

this thread has lost it.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

At least this thread reminds us every time we open it of Carmody's theory that Ocean Colour Scene was a Tory conspiracy.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Theory?

― Annie Get Your Gin (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Well, Carmody claimed that almost everything that occurred in Britain from 1911 to 1997 was a Tory conspiracy so you kinda forget which ones were real and which ones weren't.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

So that future generations can read this thread and know what the indie rave album they HAD to hear was, it's something called Digital Penetration that costs a fiver and features the Klaxons. The review of it is something of a new rave manifesto, or seemed to be as I skimmed it really quickly. It's just a pity that The Klaxons sound like Test Icicles part 2.

The FABRICLIVE cut copy does get a mention elsewhere in the issue. Apparently it is "Italo flavoured." On the same page as that we are told that Alan Brake (their spelling) and Fred Falke have done one of their Italo Disco remixes for some indie nonce.

Oh, and Babyshambles have written a song that "makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs." Maybe that's why Doherty feels he should apologise.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't Oasis stop the Smurfs from covering Wonderwall? Is that what they meant?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs

What the fuck does that even mean?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

I fancy listening to the Smurfs version of "I Wanna Be A Hippy" now.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

What the fuck does that even mean?

Smoke some crack and you'll 'get it.'

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

I bet NME never got shit like this in 1928.

― JTS (JTS), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 23:12 (nineteen years ago)

Worthless music in the NME is no surprise, but who in god's name designs those covers? Is the graphics department run by chimpanzees? Even the tabloids are better put together.

― Ice Cream Electric (Ice Cream Electric), Thursday, 27 July 2006 00:24 (nineteen years ago)

i think i might like the covers more, if they were less red and black, and more blue and green

― -- (688), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

Joyce Grenfeld is a LEGEND. She should be on the cover of NME when her nursery school tapes get reissued. ROCK ON!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

man like simon reynolds is backing the klaxons.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Friday, 28 July 2006 07:54 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno if "it had to happen i spose" = backing.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Friday, 28 July 2006 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

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