R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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wtf, is Robert a Twin Peaks fan or what?!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

this suit burns better, look

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

his decision to write 'tina' into the story is totally fascinating, in a magnificent bastard kind of way

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

also, i am absolutely stunned that this didn't end with r. finding duder in the closet.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

also, what should've been bump'n'grind's rashomon is now officially bump'n'grind's "it's a small world after all".

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

also, what significance does the gay couple really have in the overall frame of the story? was the "closet" metaphor nothing but a happy coincidence? r. kelly, what a guy.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

it's not cut off. i have it and i'll YSI it. it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

w...t...f...

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:43 (eighteen years ago) link

that's almost as bad as the end of School Daze

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

uploading as we speak.

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:46 (eighteen years ago) link

its GOTTA be tbc

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:47 (eighteen years ago) link

have at it, folks:

http://s49.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0B01MINX29S850AIP32I8Z5SSF

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link

boop

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:58 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess we could argue that it's the CHARACTER of R. Kelly's wife who doesn't know how to get to the (boop)ing point and brings up (boop)ing irrelevant names. I mean R. himself expresses annoyance. There really doesn't need to be a tbc, its clear she means the policeman is 'who did it.'

Sigh. Fun was had.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I always hate movies where no detail is given if there isn't a point later. Like how if an old man has a mild heart pain near the beginning you know he's gonna keel in the second act. Or if someone is good at something you know near the end there's gonna be this serious need for that skill to be to deployed to save the day. It sucks that the speeding violation was turned into one of those deals rather than as inexplicable and hilarious track padding.

This still rules though.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

how does she know a policeman stopped him? these lyrics got holes like swiss cheese

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:22 (eighteen years ago) link

it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

actually it's more like "the policeman that just stopped youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoop"

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:27 (eighteen years ago) link

wow

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm glad that the ticket thing wasn't just extraneous. Though that policeman actually catching him on that road is stretching it. I think Part 5 is just jumbled. It just hasn't sounded as interesting (though if it did is debatable) or smooth as parts 1-3. It's like he blew his load halfway and was just reaching for a way to wrap it up quick.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Awww, this is SOOO disappointing...

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:46 (eighteen years ago) link

And nothing was resolved...
Oh well I guess it's back to waiting for TP3 to come out

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.graindesel.ch/dataimages/magnolia.jpg
http://adekerma.free.fr/Affiche/short_cuts.jpg
http://www.mainstreetmusic.com/msmusic/images/items/78936.gif http://www.mainstreetmusic.com/msmusic/images/items/78936.gif http://www.mainstreetmusic.com/msmusic/images/items/78936.gif

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:24 (eighteen years ago) link

haha cutty so so so otm

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:48 (eighteen years ago) link

i swear to god i was thinking p.t. anderson too, as soon as the cop showed up

(so don't knock r's shabby storytelling skills people - he learned from the MASTER)

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:56 (eighteen years ago) link

in fact if he had stuck the cancer scare from "u saved me" in there too he'd be getting oscar nominations for this

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:09 (eighteen years ago) link

his leg was cramped because of CANCER.

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:14 (eighteen years ago) link

sex tumor

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, parts four and five are a MASSIVE letdown.
I know I've cried wolf on this in the past (Eminem, Daft Punk) but is there ANY chance that this is some sort of alternate take? Cause it alternates between "boop" and "fuck". Cause it makes virtually no sense and is only a fraction as interesting as part three. Cause it sucks.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:25 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't doubt that part 5 is for real, but part of me wishes that a part 6 came out of nowhere and it just kept going and going.

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:02 (eighteen years ago) link

ok you part four haters are really annoying me. you say you would want to live your lives without "COOL, CLIMAX, JUST LET GO MY LEG!"??? Part 4 is some next level shit.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:29 (eighteen years ago) link

To quote:
simonides3: dude r's description of sex is kind of ridic
simonides3: its like hearing someone who's never gotten laid talk about sex
OneVanBeeth: hahahaha
simonides3: the leg cramp
OneVanBeeth: yeah
OneVanBeeth: "shit think shit think"
simonides3: i mean whatever r, just move your leg, not a big deal

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:40 (eighteen years ago) link

oh my god, so the entertaining R. Kelly line is not logical! Who would have thought? My point remains - the leg cramp sequence is the finest dramatic moment in the last fifty years of radioplay. NOT SINCE WAR OF THE WORLDS, etc.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe this is just his A New Hope

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:55 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah I gotta say I'm with Miccio on this one, the leg cramp is great. Also the part where he actually mimics the sound of a siren.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill Callaghan = R Kelly fan

it was on the Irish Times man

― Michael B, Saturday, 4 June 2005 06:01 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm almost kinda mad at how the wait between each chapter leaking got successively shorter and shorter. I mean, part 4 was, what, 4 days ago? and part 5 already? the suspense was half the fun!

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 4 June 2005 06:05 (eighteen years ago) link

So are we gonna get a remix?

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 08:05 (eighteen years ago) link

-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), June 4th, 2005

OTM

― latebloomer: Pain Don't Hurt (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 June 2005 10:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I keep forgetting that scene in Take The Money And Run where Woody Allen gets a leg cramp during sex and his wife says this ALWAYS happens.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:37 (eighteen years ago) link

4 was next-level accidental comedy (if a jarring change from 1-3), but you gotta acknowledge 5 lost it completely.

Sex In The Kitchen and Trapped In The Closet are the first R Kelly songs I have heard since She Got That Vibe. Is there any album that lives up to these, or should I just seek out whatever has Ignition on (the D@rnie11e and Bonnie P. Billy versions were great)? (Or are his albums too choked with non-ridiculous slow jams and Jesus joints, and I should just sit back and wait for a best-of?)

― kit brash (kit brash), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:08 (eighteen years ago) link

SEEK ALL OF THESE ALBUMS.

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:23 (eighteen years ago) link

They're all super but I'd definitely start with Chocolate Factory and work my way back.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:28 (eighteen years ago) link

How does one hear a darnielle cover of ignition and not hear the original?

― deej., Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

erm yeah to clarify, in context i (simonides) wasnt hating on the r's logic or the leg cramp line, which i think is fuckin fantastic. the fact that r describes his graphic sex scene in the same absurdist, melodramatic, counterlogical, gratuitously digressing way as he talks about everything else is amazing.

which makes part 4 easily way better than part 3, a lil better than part 2, and approaching the level of genius of part 1. chapter 5 is a bit of a letdown just because it's so rushed, but i'll be stunned if there isn't some sort of remix/extended chapters shit on the bonus disc or something...right? please?

― swvl (vozick), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:04 (eighteen years ago) link

if I had to rate them: 2 > 1 > 4 > 3 > 5

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. I'm just bitter I was wrong about it not being a dream. But that whole sequence was still pretty insipid for a play by play even for him. Are they going to have a sequence in the video where his dick goes soft upon finding the rubber in the covers?

Anyhoo, I think 2 > 1 > 3 > 5 > 4

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought 2 > 4 > 1 > 5 > 3 (3 is so dull!)

― deej., Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:36 (eighteen years ago) link

How does one hear a darnielle cover of ignition and not hear the original?

internet innit! really, I haven't encountered a Kelly song on Australian radio or telly since 1992. I just saw/heard Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z for the first time five minutes ago, too.

― kit brash (kit brash), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:05 (eighteen years ago) link

4 > 3 > 2 > 1 > 5

with the understanding that all five rank among the most beautiful things I will see in pop culture this year.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:14 (eighteen years ago) link

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