Two Lights! They're a band! They worry about money!

But look now you can't even afford that smiley face wearing sunglasses jpg :(

B)

The actual Two Lights have fired up their Facebook wall again. Mysteriously enough, there is no link or reference to a particular Time magazine story anymore:

https://www.facebook.com/twolightsband?sk=wall

The fake page is of course still happily at it:

https://www.facebook.com/TwoLightsMusic

the http://nervousacid.org/post/16569305161/youre-doing-it-wrong article is good but i suspect twolights response would be "no you're doing it wrong... because we've never heard of you and you don't play stadiums and win mtv awards"..... like emil.y said, it sounds like they don't enjoy playing music, they just want to be famous (but not if it means sleeping four in a van or eating cafeteria food).....

but would they get famous sleeping four in a van and eating cafeteria food? i don't think so. they are better off working the angles. the press, publicity, internet, etc.

Nicholas James Baker i heard your new "i would never" song.. seriously? you prejudice fools. you guys are seriously a joke to music. how isn't your page blown up by comments right now! are people really okay with this? "i would never go to a state school or things that pregnant girls do" WTF.

27 minutes ago · Like · 2

Two Lights That's a parody song written by people pretending to be us. It has nothing to do with us.

4 minutes ago · Like

I hadn't fully noticed some of the joy on the fake page:

Genre
INDIE

Members
Abner : LEAD vocals, LEAD guitar
Harper : LEAD vocals, LEAD guitar

Hometown
New York via Maine

Record Label
Waiting for that blank check!

Description
The School of Rock is expensive. Then again, class can be a lot of fun, and some of the homework is pretty cool. And of course, if we do graduate — if we make it in the music business — we'll soon be earning a lot more money than even doctors and lawyers.

Biography
We've been mentored by former British rock stars, posed for photo shoots, hung out with models, worked with Grammy-nominated producers and rocked some of the top clubs in New York (places like the Mercury Lounge and the Highline Ballroom), opening for some of our favorite bands.

This is our dream. We're living it. And we're broke.

Artists We Also Like
COLDPLAY

Influences
COLDPLAY

Band Interests
Abner, 22, is finishing up at New York University. Harper, 25, works part-time as a freelance writer.

I think the worst things these kids are guilty of are being awful and writing their stupid piece. But the idea that a band that wants to be successful has to make sacrifices that - if you make a dopey blog post about them that itemizes every potential lost wage from not working an actual job and includes every one of your parents' dollars you've spent on your music in yr 22 year old life, etc. - might well add up to more than a hundred thousand dollars over the course of a year or two is not at all off the mark. I mean, the prerequisite to having all of this effort lead to success is that you have to be good and likable, but it doesn't mean that this isn't the best or only method that a lot of bands have at their disposal when they're trying to go about becoming 'bigger' bands and not just playing the terrible clubs in their city for zero dollars. You spend money and hire people to do things that could honestly be best described as 'zapping the hypeist blogs fulla hella fly publicity emails' or whatever they said.

I guess back in the day a label would do some of those things. But now bands kind of have to take on the infrastructure of a label if they're really trying to launch a career.

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/155382_181637345180777_129154660429046_674923_6941532_n.jpg

Your band would play local clubs in a major city, make a buzz, and an A&R (artists and repertory) guy would sign you and write you a blank check

Ah, yes, the blank checks big labels used to give out to bands. They definitely didn't want you to pay any of that money back.

They are losing SO much potential catalog modeling money right now

summer
available fall

tbf the vampire weekend of 2032 is going to make so much hay out of a similar look

were i some high powered music biz dude id try to make this band just to troll the internet

childishly-drawn mallard duck t-shirt, $65

feel like their understanding of "making it" comes from repeat viewings of that thing you do!

http://capitalband.tripod.com/

Capital is a rock band based in cape elizabeth, maine. Our influences range from Coldplay to Oasis to Keane to Muse.

one of them literally used to be in a band called "capital"

06/28/06
Capital site up-and-running

06/27/06
Capital announce their intentions to record with Little Studios located in Portland, Maine.

06/06/06
Family fun day show cancelled, as Abner is out of town. Free Refills to play instead.

05/27/06
Capital invited to play "family fun day" in cape elizabeth. A sort of honor, as a thousand or so attend every summer.

05/07/06
Abner Willis won Third Best Vocals at the 22nd Rock Off

Matt won Second Best Drumming

Congradulations to both the guys

their music sounds like some band that only exists on a tv show

Your favorite fake bands from the movies...

maybe 'two lights' is an attempt to go viral by a secret PR firm

but would they get famous sleeping four in a van and eating cafeteria food? i don't think so. they are better off working the angles. the press, publicity, internet, etc.

Is this how it works these days? I dunno, my impression was that e.g. Soundgarden or the White Stripes did the four-in-a-van/caf-food thing before they became famous. Has the industry changed that much? (It's believable to me that it has. Just curious.)

OTM that this is insane btw:

And of course, if we do graduate — if we make it in the music business — we'll soon be earning a lot more money than even doctors and lawyers. Or so we tell ourselves...

Oh god that picture, I know so many fucking bands that look just like that. I'm in the UK too, obviously the indie-rock-boys-from-well-to-do-families look is universal. I bet they're really supercilious to the soundman / promoter / etc when they "rock some of the top clubs in New York, opening for some of their favourite bands".

Is this how it works these days? I dunno, my impression was that e.g. Soundgarden or the White Stripes did the four-in-a-van/caf-food thing before they became famous. Has the industry changed that much? (It's believable to me that it has. Just curious.)

― EveningStar (Sund4r), Saturday, January 28, 2012 6:59 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the other 2 people in the white stripes' van were a publicist and a banker writing blank checks iirc

the phrase "Third Best Vocals at the 22nd Rock Off" has so much pathos in it

it is too much sadness to actually think abt

That pic looks like a promo for an upcoming show on the CW or ABC Family. Given that, they probably WILL get big.

Man, I went to high school for a few years in their hometown and can't even get my head around this. I mean, the place had absolutely identical-looking/thinking dudes in the late 90s but they all gravitated to Vermont instead of Brooklyn. Wonder if this speaks to a more general trend where this super-particular kind of greyhound-caste LL Bean bro has turned to Keane-styled indie rock(???) in the absence of Phish...Bonnaroo cross-contamination?

I'm going to sound like a total snob now, but seriously I think battle of the bands are the most humiliating thing your could do...my last band got invited to some WB local tv affiliate/pizza hut thing were you got free ” professional” studio time if you won....barf

I'm sure the studio time is with some one that went to one of those tv add schools

http://i44.tinypic.com/1042nub.jpg

"hey two lights, can you write a piece for TIME - MONEY section?"

FUN HAS A PRICE!

Sorry, two lights. I invented 'doing it wrong' back in 2001 when I blew two months of Dairy Queen pay on a Vox 'Valvetronix' amplifier so my band could cover YYZ at local cafes on open mic night.

Ah, yes, the blank checks big labels used to give out to bands. They definitely didn't want you to pay any of that money back.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, January 28, 2012 6:45 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Bands didn't actually have to "pay back" their advances. The advances were "recoupable" out of sales. This was often abused by the labels, for sure, but it's not the same thing as having to pay back your advance.

I'm a paralegal at an indie law firm

I'm going to sound like a total snob now, but seriously I think battle of the bands are the most humiliating thing your could do...my last band got invited to some WB local tv affiliate/pizza hut thing were you got free ” professional” studio time if you won....barf

― the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, January 29, 2012 3:41 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This is not snobbish. Pretty much the best way you can tell a band is wasting their time is by them entering a battle of the bands contest.

feel like their understanding of "making it" comes from repeat viewings of that thing you do!

― ban opinions (reddening), Saturday, January 28, 2012 6:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ahahaha

xp stopped clock, etc. As you say, the real reason not to enter a battle-of-the-bands is because it's a waste of time. Their reason is because they're snobs who won't do things because they view them as 'humiliating'.

I mean, their whole attitude reminds me of...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/content/images/2007/05/08/third_duel_396x222.jpg
"We paid for this seat, and I think it's a damn liberty that we should have to stand for it as well."

i would like you guys to know that i fucking ROCKED cape henlopen high school's 1999 homecoming weekend battle of the bands and have no regrets

What was the set list.

some very shrill, screamy originals and iirc a cover of "just what i needed"

my band experience includes one night as lead guitarist/vocalist for a band dubbed O0nglebinky that did only covers

Haha, my crowning high school battle-of-the-bands achievement also involved a cover of Just What I Needed, as well as a rendition of Pat Benatar's Heart Breaker into which I worked some sick two-hand tapping.

I think we need a new thread here.

co sign

Ah wait, we don't:

Battle of the Bands Nostalgia Thread