Two Lights! They're a band! They worry about money!

"Here's $300. Also you owe us $150 for using the PA"

Now that I think about Two Lights brings up some good points

Namely: money! It's good!

LOL that reminds me of the time I was in a band and we didn't have a PA so we only played shows with a friend's band because he owned a PA. Why? because the venues we played at didn't provide amenities like "their own sound system." The trade-off was we always had to open.

This wasn't even in the gritty real world of NYC!

Over on the fake Facebook page:

Nicholas James Baker
hey guys.. was just thinkign about the name "two lights" and how it sums up your bright futures. thanks for the great music.
Like · · 19 minutes ago ·

Two Lights thanks bro!
17 minutes ago · Like

Nicholas James Baker ‎...HOLY FUCK, TWO LIGHTS REPLIED TO ME!!! thank you so much guys!! this made my day, seriously!! so glad that a band that puts as much time and effort into your music cares about your fans!
15 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights ok!
8 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights
were thinking of doing a kickstarter for our next EP. what would be some good prizes for donators? anything but copies of the cd, we cant give those away.

3 people like this.

Joe Stadler How about some expense reports? Or, starbucks receipts?
about an hour ago · Like · 1

Nicholas Rejack POSTCARDS
59 minutes ago · Like

Thomas Owens email blasts?
59 minutes ago · Like

Thomas Owens starbucks receipts with digital download codes on the back?
58 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights Maybe for like.... the $400 tier, I can write articles for people. I'm still a freelance.
58 minutes ago · Like

Nicholas Rejack taxi rides
57 minutes ago · Like

Hoang Trong Tran mcnuggets
44 minutes ago · Like

Michael T. Fournier Piano moving services.
28 minutes ago · Like

Mike Smail A handwritten guide to which cabbies are the best at handling gear.
15 minutes ago · Like

Seth Robert Babb Trying to raise $2,000 for your "just got out of bed" haircuts?
14 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights mike, the best cabbies are the mini vans. the trick is to call for one but tell them youre a family and you need the van, otherwise they dont want to bother with bands. little trick we learned.
13 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights come on, our haircuts arent THAT expensive. image is important.
11 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights its the JEANS that are expensive.
11 minutes ago · Like

Lorin Jones Freelance is New York Twenty-Something for unemployed.
9 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights our job is this band, so were employed by the tunes.
3 minutes ago · Like

Two Lights and business is good.
3 minutes ago · Like

I am now feeling better about things. "business is good"!

Losing money playing music is like the easiest thing ever.

― chr1sb3singer, Friday, January 27, 2012 2:08 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This is why it's beneficial to think of your band as a hobby instead of a job. It's ok to spend money on hobbies.

did not read anything about this until norman weighed in, which, his thing about it is totally excellent http://nervousacid.org/post/16569305161/youre-doing-it-wrong

That is a fantastic read. I want to staple it to Abner's and whatshisfuck's foreheads.

I wanna just put them in a room with Colin Langenus (ex-USAisaMonster now CSC Funk Band/10 other things) and hear them explain themselves line by line.

Again, your family’s investment is not your own. But even if it were, you’re paying too much. I owned just one guitar throughout most of the ’90s — a Gibson SG that I paid $300 for — and a Marshall half-stack that I found at a pawn shop for $500. I spent another $150 on pedals.

pfff this guy wouldn't know PRO GEAR if it bit him in the ass

I wouldn't be surprised if many semi and fully-successful bands have had money put into them by their wealthy families. The fact is that music is largely a middle-class business, moreso than it was 20 years ago. Most bands wouldn't be so stupid as to blurt it across Time magazine though.

― JLB Credit (Jack BS), Friday, 27 January 2012 17:29 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

miles got supported by his dad a lot iirc?, prob not on this scale but yknow so he could concentrate on it.

it's sorta just fun to infer lazy prejudices against these guys but the thing that's frustrating about seeing how much they've spent isn't just them trumpeting it but that it's like $X on years of voice lessons, not necessarily to overcome & learn to perfect your voice but to BECOME A WELL OILED SUCCESSFUL MUSIC MACHINE capable of hitting crowdpleasers. not the lessons but the weird thrusting intent.

If I had more time ATM I would write an in depth challops defense of these guys. Short version is that yes they are whiney entitled douchebags and also idiots, but at the same time it does in fact take some resources to bring a band from hobby level to making a record / creating a live show that people other than your friends will take interest in. It's a little either po-faced or obtuse for people to be like "dude just play through a $200 amp and practice on Saturday when you're not working your day job" because most people who do that have shitty sounding bands with shaky drummers.

that's kind of how I feel too tbh. the piece is stupid and they aren't really worth defending, at the same time all the derision heaped on them seems rather cruel and misplaced. if anything, it's weird to me how so many people - and not just these guys, but the general public at large - still thing this weird rock-star-lifestyle-archetype exists and is attainable. cuz it's not, and it hasn't been for quite a long time now.

still THINK

you guys should've seen the snacks this one club my band played at had. cheetos, fritos, doritos, you name it.

basically the whole frito lay family of snacks.

they weren't for us, though, they were for the headliner.

I would literally rather burn $109,000 in a fire then only be able to play on an SG through pawnshop pedals into a Marshall, Twin Lights or whoever OTM

Like you know for example I remember reading an interview with a member of Fugazi who said that in their heyday they practiced TOGETHER something like 5 times a week for five hours. I mean that's a big part of why they were an awesome, tight live band. And you can't really have a dayjob while doing that sort of thing.

OTOH, a big manager type who had brand name acts once told me that a couple of his acts basically just lived with their parents until they were making significant money, i.e. even while he was first managing them. So the whole "we need spend the money to live in NYC" thing is a bit dumb, yeah.

pro gear is nothing without pro tude and industry hookups brah

also it seems somewhat relevant that they aren't even listed on their own management company's website (and their manager seems to have moved on to a different job entirely)

Hahah.

I would literally rather burn $109,000 in a fire then only be able to play on an SG through pawnshop pedals into a Marshall, Twin Lights or whoever OTM

I played at one rehearsal studio that had a new Marshall half-stack in it and it was the WORST AMP I'VE EVER PLAYED THROUGH.

i've had good results using a marshall head but using a fender twin as the cab, and using a clean tone on the marshall, they have a surprisingly good clean tone (this was a vintage one tho)

The funny thing about the headline is that they're not remotely fucking rock stars $100,000 in.

Want To Be A Rock Star? You'll Need Someone To Give A Shit seems more accurate

It's a little either po-faced or obtuse for people to be like "dude just play through a $200 amp and practice on Saturday when you're not working your day job" because most people who do that have shitty sounding bands with shaky drummers.

i dont think anyone who plays music would begrudge them the money theyve spent on their band. i mean just kinda averaging some of these numbers out over the several years theyve playing they actually havent spent that much, really, even if they were just doing it as a hobby! and lots of these numbers are not really related to being a band. even if he was working a day job hed... still be paying rent. and his parents would still have paid for piano lessons when he was 12.

its not really the money theyve spent its the attitude the writer of the article has, his presumption that he deserves tremendous success for no real reason, or things like his snobbish aside about eating cafeteria food and turning down freelance writing jobs that makes everyone realize what a total pos he is

Yep, this is the thing. As a middle-class kid, my mum was able to get me some cool gear for birthdays and/or Xmases, and I have ended up with a nice array of synths of varying coolness. The difference is that I would NEVER count that as 'costs' for my band. They are AWESOME THINGS THAT I HAVE. Jesus, if you're going to count all that fun cool stuff that you get to do as 'costs', then maybe you don't really like doing it, then maybe you just shouldn't fucking do it, you twats?

Thing is, you read this band's article in the NY Times and they gloat about all this awesome stuff they've done, and how in the last year they've 'spent' almost double what the average family makes, and it really just makes them sound spoiled and ungrateful. I bet most musicians wish they had their kind of resources.

No one is saying play with shit eqipment, but 25k? My dream set up for bass & amp wouldn't be more than around 4k

I don't think all the gear from all the members of all the bands I've ever been in totals $5k.

Yeah I mean even splurging on a vintage fiat, that's in the 1k-2k range, for these guys, something like a fender twin would be fine and like an swr combo or something for bass

That's also true. You don't need to play on shitty gear to avoid paying $25k. I think my angle is to berate them less for the extent of their privilege and more for the fact that a) they don't realise this and b) they don't seem to treat playing music as something rewarding in itself. You know, horrible as it is that there is a level of inequality that allows these people to exist, it is a factual state of affairs, and not everyone born into privilege is a shitty person. These fuckers, however, are graceless, oblivious, disgusting fartknockers and should be destroyed.

this is crazy:

And of course, if we do graduate — if we make it in the music business — we'll soon be earning a lot more money than even doctors and lawyers. Or so we tell ourselves...

they just assume that "making it" = $$$$$$$$$$

they should talk to more people who have "made it".

they really are spending lots of money on stuff that, ideally, Disney should be paying for. your pockets have to be endlessly deep to break as a radio rock/pop act. plus, now, everyone is making fun of them! but, their name is out there, so, that's something.

Clearly these guys are in the wrong profession. I'm a paralegal at an indie law firm - I partnered with an agent at a rock star temp agency to get the job. It's a challenge...you have to pay your own way. Here's a quick rundown of my estimated costs to date:

• Training. My folks shelled out for 1.5 years of community college education. Cost to date: $2,250.
• Working expenses. Bus pass, Starbucks and lunch each day. (Once upon a time, the suits at law firms used to provide fountains of coffee and an endless supply of donuts). Cost to date: $2725.
• Lost wages. I put in about 40 hours a week. I could be a drummer for some band in NYC (originally from Portland, Maine) and get paid $250 a week. Cost to date: $13,000.
• Living in a house(!) in Atlanta with my friend Abby. Cost to date: $15,750.
Total (estimated) cost to date? $33,725.

This is my dream. I'm living it.

I've only played on the same $800 drumset my dad bought in 1993

But look now you can't even afford that smiley face wearing sunglasses jpg :(

B)

The actual Two Lights have fired up their Facebook wall again. Mysteriously enough, there is no link or reference to a particular Time magazine story anymore:

https://www.facebook.com/twolightsband?sk=wall

The fake page is of course still happily at it:

https://www.facebook.com/TwoLightsMusic

the http://nervousacid.org/post/16569305161/youre-doing-it-wrong article is good but i suspect twolights response would be "no you're doing it wrong... because we've never heard of you and you don't play stadiums and win mtv awards"..... like emil.y said, it sounds like they don't enjoy playing music, they just want to be famous (but not if it means sleeping four in a van or eating cafeteria food).....

but would they get famous sleeping four in a van and eating cafeteria food? i don't think so. they are better off working the angles. the press, publicity, internet, etc.

Nicholas James Baker i heard your new "i would never" song.. seriously? you prejudice fools. you guys are seriously a joke to music. how isn't your page blown up by comments right now! are people really okay with this? "i would never go to a state school or things that pregnant girls do" WTF.

27 minutes ago · Like · 2

Two Lights That's a parody song written by people pretending to be us. It has nothing to do with us.

4 minutes ago · Like

I hadn't fully noticed some of the joy on the fake page:

Genre
INDIE

Members
Abner : LEAD vocals, LEAD guitar
Harper : LEAD vocals, LEAD guitar

Hometown
New York via Maine

Record Label
Waiting for that blank check!

Description
The School of Rock is expensive. Then again, class can be a lot of fun, and some of the homework is pretty cool. And of course, if we do graduate — if we make it in the music business — we'll soon be earning a lot more money than even doctors and lawyers.

Biography
We've been mentored by former British rock stars, posed for photo shoots, hung out with models, worked with Grammy-nominated producers and rocked some of the top clubs in New York (places like the Mercury Lounge and the Highline Ballroom), opening for some of our favorite bands.

This is our dream. We're living it. And we're broke.

Artists We Also Like
COLDPLAY

Influences
COLDPLAY

Band Interests
Abner, 22, is finishing up at New York University. Harper, 25, works part-time as a freelance writer.

I think the worst things these kids are guilty of are being awful and writing their stupid piece. But the idea that a band that wants to be successful has to make sacrifices that - if you make a dopey blog post about them that itemizes every potential lost wage from not working an actual job and includes every one of your parents' dollars you've spent on your music in yr 22 year old life, etc. - might well add up to more than a hundred thousand dollars over the course of a year or two is not at all off the mark. I mean, the prerequisite to having all of this effort lead to success is that you have to be good and likable, but it doesn't mean that this isn't the best or only method that a lot of bands have at their disposal when they're trying to go about becoming 'bigger' bands and not just playing the terrible clubs in their city for zero dollars. You spend money and hire people to do things that could honestly be best described as 'zapping the hypeist blogs fulla hella fly publicity emails' or whatever they said.

I guess back in the day a label would do some of those things. But now bands kind of have to take on the infrastructure of a label if they're really trying to launch a career.

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/155382_181637345180777_129154660429046_674923_6941532_n.jpg