Rivers Cuomo's Harvard Application Essay

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that should be: Total use of "I": 107

― frankE (frankE), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Did he get into Harvard, btw?

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

He did indeed. And he joined the choir and Dan and he could have sung together!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

CORRECTION: He auditioned for the group I sang in after I graduated and got NEGGED.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Nekkid?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

NEDDED! Sorry.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard of neducation but please.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he'll join that snobby little cult the Harvard Lampoon and start writing for bad sitcoms.

― shookout (shookout), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he'll have to go to Yale, and then he'll join the Skull & Bones and the next Weezer album will be called I Know What George's Nutsack Looks Like.

― Huck, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"I studied the lives of Napoleon and David Geffen."

This made me giggle for some reason.

― Talent Explosion (Talent Explosion), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I like how he blames Nietzsche for how much he's started sucking. My alternate theory: the whole reason Pinkerton was so great is that it really honestly sounds like the record a guy like him would write during an awkward freshman year of college. Which, of course, is exactly the kind of thing you disown immediately afterward, because it's incredibly embarrassing. He should have stuck it out there -- if he'd kept on with such an honest collegiate track, by the time he was a senior we'd have gotten some sort of pseudo-experimental Mouse on Mars collaboration out of him.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

haha nabiso otm

I'm glad there has been three threads on this.

― theycallmetator, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

btw heres what rivers has been listening to:

ABBA, am Radio, Bach, Beach Boys, Beatles, Bee Gees, Beethoven, Billy Joel, Burt Bacharach, Chet Baker, Chopin, Dusty Springfield, Fate's Warning, France Gall, Francoise Hardy, Joao Gilberto, Kate Bush, KISS, Metallica, Mozart, Neil Diamond, Nirvana, Oasis, Ozma, Prince, Puccini, Schubert, Schumann's "Dichterliebe", Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky, The Cure, Van Morrison

― theycallmetator, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

no wonder Weezer sucks

― Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (ex machina), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

nitsuh, please write me!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Argh, he alphabetized "The Cure" under T and all the solo performers by their first names. Assclown.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Argh, he alphabetized "The Cure" under T and all the solo performers by their first names. Assclown.

In Rivers' defense, he probably just cut-and-pasted a playlist out of a stupid mp3 player that doesn't alphabetize intelligently. Like, I dunno, every single one of them (except for the most recent version(s) of iTunes which are smart enough to disregard articles like "the").

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

However, not in Rivers' defense, he really needs to broaden his musical horizons. And I don't mean by throwing all of the most common classical composers into playlist of equally likely contemporary pop musicians, cause he's already done that.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

dude france gall is not an obvious contemporary pop musician~!!

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't get why people are so worked up abou this.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought weezer was supposed to be all wry and ironic. that letter is pretty heart-on-sleeve nauseating.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

somebody hasn't heard Pinkerton

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Christ people. Weezer doesn't make good music, true (very true), but when it comes down to picking apart his musical tastes and going "HE CAPITALIZED THE CURE OMG WHAT A FAG" you're really reaching. He likes ABBA and Kiss, you should be happy -- he didn't list Dashboard at least.

Although, for a 34 year old, he seems incredibly immature.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

somebody hasn't heard Pinkerton

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...) (webmail), August 4th, 2004 3:07 PM. (Anthony Miccio) (later) (link)

i don't think i've heard anything aside from "buddy holly" and "the sweater song"--or are those the same song? oh, now i sound like chuck eddy.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Believe me, you're not missing much. Pinkerton seems to be this generation's Catcher in the Rye -- something else I can't stand, for that matter.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, I'm actually one of the few around here who actually likes Weezer, though I think that Matt Sharp's exit from the band was the end of their being interesting.

I don't agree w/ Ned on the Pinkerton to Catcher in the Rye comparison, though I think I see what he's getting at.

At any rate, Weezer's never been particularly ironic. Not any more than any 30-something who somewhat self-mockingly talks about time spent reading comics, playing D&D or listening to Kiss in the garage when they were young.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

FWIW, I think the first Weezer is the most interesting and consistent album, but I think Pinkerton has some of the group's (or Rivers') best songwriting. i.e. There are songs on Pinkerton that rock harder.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My god does this guy need his own fucking brain.

What's next? "I walked by a McDonalds, and from that point on I ate only McNuggets, wore yellow and red, slept by the dumpster..."

― John 2, Thursday, 5 August 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The Weezer Study

― MerkinMuffley (MerkinMuffley), Thursday, 5 August 2004 06:51 (twenty-one years ago)

My post about misalphabetizing his music list was not an attack on his musical tastes, it was an attack on someone APPLYING TO GO TO HARVARD AND NOT KNOWING THE PROPER FUCKING WAY TO PUT THINGS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, this is the thread that keeps on giving.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The inevitable "Why do you care?" question comes up (and I'm not even a fan of Weezer or anything).

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...)

What, is this guy not allowed to be roasted here like every other musician? Or is your Harvard pride rearing its head?

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you have misinterpreted.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 August 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oh was it in reply to the "stealing Japanese girls" post before it, not the thread in general? sorry.

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Friday, 6 August 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

St. Nicholas, I bet I can find you at least three dozen Harvard undergrads, grads and MBAs who not only cannot properly put a list in alphabetical order, they also can't properly punctuate a sentence or edit a piece of text. Those kinds of prosaic skills are all too uncommon in the highly educated. Believe me, I've worked under enough of them to know.

― phil d., Friday, 6 August 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm also deeply amused that people think that going to Harvard automatically means you have perfect grammar and are super-eloquent but that's a completely seperate thing.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 August 2004 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess my point is that a good percentage of ILM threads tear bands/musicians to pieces. I mean practically the whole forum begs the question "Why do you care?" so it's kind of a moot point. Why bring it up in this thread and not the Black Eyed Peas one, which is just as brutal. I don't know him personally nor do I have anything against Weezer. It's just a poor essay written by famous person who has apparently surrounded himself online with people constantly telling him he's brilliant and genius. Charo, on the other hand, has yet to enter the ring of pseudo-philosophical essay-writing as far as I know.

"Ooh-eee-ooh, I look just like Krishnamurti..."

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Charo's Wissenschaftlehre is pretty good reading, though.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Work of Guitar in the Age of Mechanical Kootchie-Kootchie-Kootchie"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't imagine caring enough about Rivers Cuomo to unleash this amount of derision on him. He's had about as much impact on my life as something that's had absolutely no impact on my life. It's like watching a room full of people bitching about Charo.
I'm also deeply amused that people think that going to Harvard automatically means you have perfect grammar and are super-eloquent but that's a completely seperate thing.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), August 6th, 2004.

OTM.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Charo's Wissenschaftlehre is pretty good reading, though.

-- ||amateur!st|| (||...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004 12:28 AM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

There's an interesting chapter on Heidegger's concept of vorhanden followed by a smoking cover of "Proud Mary."

― ||| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Tractatus-Logicootchie-cootchie-cootchie

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What the hell does get you into harvard then if not eloquence?

I mean, fuck.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 6 August 2004 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 6 August 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Things that can get you into Harvard:

1) High test scores & good grades
2) A large number of diverse extracurricular activities, particular if you hold leadership positions in them.
3) Great rapport with your interviewer.
4) Legacy.
5) Fame.
6) $$$$$.
7) Sports recruitment.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Also:

Why bring it up in this thread and not the Black Eyed Peas one, which is just as brutal.

The funny thing is I was about to!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i've edited books by ivy league professors that are gramatically challenged.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

um...

― common_person (common_person), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Not knowing... or not caring about something that fucking trivial?

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Friday, 6 August 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Rivers Cuomo - Too Cool for the Alphabet.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Friday, 6 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 12 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I studied the lives of Napoleon and David Geffen, Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, and contemporary texts on leadership and management.

oof

― battered beauties (get bent), Monday, 1 December 2008 06:40 (seventeen years ago)

http://images.bestbuy.com/BestBuy_US/images/products/9107/9107067.jpg

^^ should be called "six sigma" amirite

― battered beauties (get bent), Monday, 1 December 2008 06:51 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.metalsludge.tv/main/modules/subjects/pages/ExposedWeezer.jpg

for my money, it's all about pre-epiphany cuomo

― chocolatepiekid, Monday, 1 December 2008 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

Is that really the same essay? Because why would a Harvard application essay be about what he did after he left Harvard?

― Black Seinfeld (HI DERE), Monday, 1 December 2008 15:27 (seventeen years ago)

Or rather, was the premise behind this thread completely off from the get-go? (I never read the essay the first time, either.)

― Black Seinfeld (HI DERE), Monday, 1 December 2008 15:28 (seventeen years ago)

Did he not go Back to harvard?

― Mark G, Monday, 1 December 2008 15:30 (seventeen years ago)

I'm pretty sure it's a readmission essay to Harvard. He finished up his degree there just a few years ago. What's confusing is the last line, "I am returning to Harvard in the fall." That's a pretty confident statement, if his admission status was at all in doubt!

― Z S, Monday, 1 December 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)

i just took it as your typical end-of-essay projection of confidence

― No HOOS need a steen whoppin (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 1 December 2008 18:59 (seventeen years ago)

As far as I know, you typically don't have to do a readmission essay. Once you've been accepted as a student, you can come back and finish your degree pretty much whenever you want to (I know a dude who ended up being 81-95 after dropping out due to horrific grades and building money as a slumlord for 13 years). They might ask you "why do you want to come back?" but I don't think re-admittance hinges on it.

― Black Seinfeld (HI DERE), Monday, 1 December 2008 19:02 (seventeen years ago)

I could not tell if my current predicament was just a classic case of an audience lagging behind the development of an artist (as in the case of Bob Dylan when he went electric)

― francisF, Monday, 1 December 2008 20:47 (seventeen years ago)

he's a classic case all right

― francisF, Monday, 1 December 2008 20:48 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, "Beverly Hills" was too far ahead of its time for us to fully grasp

― skygreenleopard, Monday, 1 December 2008 22:18 (seventeen years ago)

I can't believe no one caught my hilarious addition to his essay. I guess it's a testament to the absurdity of some of his sentences that the bogus ones don't really stand out that much.

― Z S, Monday, 1 December 2008 22:45 (seventeen years ago)

I can see the absurdity and pomposity, but it's basically a noble, honest-seeming essay. He doesn't elevate himself so much as examine the manner in which he knows he elevates himself (while also elevating himself, but that seems inevitable). I find it hard to "create" without struggling with a conflicted sense of my own greatness/failure, so I can accept his descriptions of the process at face value. I guess I only mean that I can relate, though I'm not a Celebrity Rock Artist.

4 sentences, 3 beginning with "I", 6 uses of the word "I".

― contenderizer, Monday, 1 December 2008 23:39 (seventeen years ago)

I volunteered six days a week at Project Angel Food in Hollywood, preparing meals for people with HIV.

ive volunteered here, place is dope

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 01:01 (seventeen years ago)

1P3 volunteering thread

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 December 2008 22:04 (seventeen years ago)

five years pass...

ladies and gentlemen...Rivers....ROMO

http://deadspin.com/tony-romo-spawns-future-frontman-of-weezer-cover-band-1547395027

― Little Nicky Pizza loved that rascal Rust (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 19 March 2014 23:52 (twelve years ago)

I studied other writers’ methods. I took hundreds of pages of notes on the creative process, mostly from Nietzsche, but also from Goethe and Stravinsky.

Stravinsky influence really shows in "Hash Pipe".

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 March 2014 00:05 (twelve years ago)

"Island in the Sun" lyrics could be ripped straight from the pages of "Faust".

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 March 2014 00:06 (twelve years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0e/Goethe_%28Stieler_1828%29.jpg/486px-Goethe_%28Stieler_1828%29.jpg

You can't find the words to say
All the things that come to you

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 March 2014 00:07 (twelve years ago)

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