R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm so confused.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Yr sure it didnt cut off early? It seems like its supposed to keep going.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:31 (eighteen years ago) link

That was all he wrote/heard. I sure hope that's not it.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

get one fiction workshop, robert

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:35 (eighteen years ago) link

tina and roxanne seems totally extraneous.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:42 (eighteen years ago) link

it suddenly occurred to me that i'd like to see what larry david would do with this material.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:43 (eighteen years ago) link

if... this is it, i think R is just daisy chaining a bunch of names leading into a flashback montage over the previous chapters' cast then finally leading to the policeman being the guy who left the condom.

― xcixxorx, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:48 (eighteen years ago) link

GOOFY.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:04 (eighteen years ago) link

So Rufus and Chuck are going out, and Chuck knows Roxanne who knows R.'s wife, who went to high school with Kathy, who introduced the policeman (who we can assume fucked the wife). And a girl named Tina knows Roxanne. So yeah, Jaymc's right. those last two women are totally extraneous. Basically for reasons unknown to us all Kathy decided to hook up with R., and R.'s wife got revenge by fucking the policeman. I think.

my head hurts.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:10 (eighteen years ago) link

forget it miccio, it's chi-town

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

the only reason I can see for this Roxanne/Tina shit is if the reason Kathy hooked up with R. was because she found out from Roxanne/Tina that Chuck was fucking Rufus and decided she needed some Kells orgasm shit cuz undoubtedly R.'s wife would blab to her friend from high school about his prowess. But as Kathy was shocked at the Chuck-Rufus revelation that seems unlikely.

x-post hahahaha

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

R Kelly is weird, but not that weird. It must be cut off early. Or something.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

i dunno, he might be that weird!

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:15 (eighteen years ago) link

oh it has to be a cut off. I refuse to believe the song builds up to SHE INTRODUCED ME TO THE POLICEMAN WHO STOPPED YOU!!! YOU!!!! you!!! you!

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:15 (eighteen years ago) link

oh i dunno, i can easily see him coming up with this great idea and getting bored halfway through

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

oh I'm not entirely shocked by this unnecessary plot shit (look at the end of Psycho or Sleepy Hollow or any other movie where the action stops and somebody pointlessly explains it all) but it would still end with some big tada or reflection or him yelling "THE END!!!!" or something. It wouldn't end in mid-speech.

This thing does slightly explain Mary/Kathy's whole "don't you want to know how this started" shit in 2 & 3.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:21 (eighteen years ago) link

WHO HAS MP3 OF THIS.. i'm not reading the lyrics until i listen to it.

(shields eyes)

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:22 (eighteen years ago) link

miccio otm

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 21:28 (eighteen years ago) link

wtf, is Robert a Twin Peaks fan or what?!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

this suit burns better, look

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

his decision to write 'tina' into the story is totally fascinating, in a magnificent bastard kind of way

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

also, i am absolutely stunned that this didn't end with r. finding duder in the closet.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

also, what should've been bump'n'grind's rashomon is now officially bump'n'grind's "it's a small world after all".

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

also, what significance does the gay couple really have in the overall frame of the story? was the "closet" metaphor nothing but a happy coincidence? r. kelly, what a guy.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

it's not cut off. i have it and i'll YSI it. it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

w...t...f...

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:43 (eighteen years ago) link

that's almost as bad as the end of School Daze

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

uploading as we speak.

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:46 (eighteen years ago) link

its GOTTA be tbc

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:47 (eighteen years ago) link

have at it, folks:

http://s49.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0B01MINX29S850AIP32I8Z5SSF

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link

boop

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:58 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess we could argue that it's the CHARACTER of R. Kelly's wife who doesn't know how to get to the (boop)ing point and brings up (boop)ing irrelevant names. I mean R. himself expresses annoyance. There really doesn't need to be a tbc, its clear she means the policeman is 'who did it.'

Sigh. Fun was had.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I always hate movies where no detail is given if there isn't a point later. Like how if an old man has a mild heart pain near the beginning you know he's gonna keel in the second act. Or if someone is good at something you know near the end there's gonna be this serious need for that skill to be to deployed to save the day. It sucks that the speeding violation was turned into one of those deals rather than as inexplicable and hilarious track padding.

This still rules though.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

how does she know a policeman stopped him? these lyrics got holes like swiss cheese

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:22 (eighteen years ago) link

it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

actually it's more like "the policeman that just stopped youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoop"

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:27 (eighteen years ago) link

wow

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm glad that the ticket thing wasn't just extraneous. Though that policeman actually catching him on that road is stretching it. I think Part 5 is just jumbled. It just hasn't sounded as interesting (though if it did is debatable) or smooth as parts 1-3. It's like he blew his load halfway and was just reaching for a way to wrap it up quick.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Awww, this is SOOO disappointing...

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:46 (eighteen years ago) link

And nothing was resolved...
Oh well I guess it's back to waiting for TP3 to come out

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

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― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:24 (eighteen years ago) link

haha cutty so so so otm

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:48 (eighteen years ago) link

i swear to god i was thinking p.t. anderson too, as soon as the cop showed up

(so don't knock r's shabby storytelling skills people - he learned from the MASTER)

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:56 (eighteen years ago) link

in fact if he had stuck the cancer scare from "u saved me" in there too he'd be getting oscar nominations for this

― jones (actual), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:09 (eighteen years ago) link

his leg was cramped because of CANCER.

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:14 (eighteen years ago) link

sex tumor

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, parts four and five are a MASSIVE letdown.
I know I've cried wolf on this in the past (Eminem, Daft Punk) but is there ANY chance that this is some sort of alternate take? Cause it alternates between "boop" and "fuck". Cause it makes virtually no sense and is only a fraction as interesting as part three. Cause it sucks.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:25 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't doubt that part 5 is for real, but part of me wishes that a part 6 came out of nowhere and it just kept going and going.

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:02 (eighteen years ago) link

ok you part four haters are really annoying me. you say you would want to live your lives without "COOL, CLIMAX, JUST LET GO MY LEG!"??? Part 4 is some next level shit.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 05:29 (eighteen years ago) link

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