R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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yeah its almost out of nowhere! its like: whoa, a gun!

― latebloomer: Pain Don't Hurt (latebloomer), Thursday, 2 June 2005 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I know you guys were hoping for more (did anyone really think that this was gonna be REALLY batshit?) but the super-serious way EVERYTHING is done makes this a total winner. I especially love:
1) The pan back opening. "This is Chicago. The windy city. A city... of love. It's my city. But what happens when a man looks for love in the wrong places? Let me tell you a story..."
2) Kells watching Cathy and Rufus go at it. He IS freaky.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 June 2005 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Kells watching Cathy and Rufus go at it. He IS freaky

Well there wasn't much to do besides watch. He was a captive audience after all.

My friend just heard an edited version of part 5. Spoilers TK.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I tried looking up the tire shop ("Willoash Tires") that's outside Rufus and Cathy's window, but there's no entry in the Chicago Yellow Pages.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just trying to peg where they live -- it's West Side, yeah, but that water tower looks kind of familiar.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Woo doggy...holy brain fuck, Batman! The lyrics:

and now i'm like
well well well
what the (boop) is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talkin bitch
before it ake a match and burn this mother(Boop)er down
i said you better start talkin and start talkin right gotdamn now
then she said baby
i'm so speechless
then i said baby
you gon' be breathless
if you don't start talkin quick
woman i'm gonna have a fit
you don't know what you're (boop)in with
girl you better cut the bull(boop)
now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed
and plus i smell cigarettes
now i'm sniffin and lookin around
suspicious like someone's here
then i looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun say is he still here
she shook her head and said no
i'm checkin behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called
i said what the (boop) was you thinkin
you thought that i wouldn't find this out
and then i said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody all up in my mother(boop)in house
she hopped up and said that's enough
she said i can't take no more
then she said you've made your point but now its time to even the score
she said i know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that's right nigga i was there
with this guy in the back of the club
i said i thought you was with your girls
she said i thought you was with your guys
she said you was at that bitch's house
and don't you even try to act surprised
i said ba- she said shut up
don't you say a word
it ain't nothin you can say that i ain't already heard
then i said woman don't you try to turn it all around
cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said you're right about that
somethin did go down
but i don't have to turn it around
cuz what goes around comes back around
i'm movin a little closer to her
she's trippin over the furniture
she said wait first just let me explain
i said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh uh
i say uh what?
she said please sit down in the chair
and then she cries out i'm so scared to tell you because of what you might do
and i scream look girl you beter give me this man's name and i'm not playin with you
she says ok wipes her nose and then askeds me about a girl named tina
i thought to myself said it soudns familiar then said i'd probably know her if i seen her
then i said anyway girl what the hell has that got to do with this man
she said he know my girl roxanne
i said who the hell is roxanne
then she said roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named chuck
chuck's cool with this guy named rufus and i'm sitting there like what the fuck!
then she said rufus wife kathy, we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm confused.

that's it?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I long for the good old days of "Thin Line Between Love And Hate" where they wrapped it up with a moral.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

...

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so confused.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yr sure it didnt cut off early? It seems like its supposed to keep going.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That was all he wrote/heard. I sure hope that's not it.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

get one fiction workshop, robert

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

tina and roxanne seems totally extraneous.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

it suddenly occurred to me that i'd like to see what larry david would do with this material.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

if... this is it, i think R is just daisy chaining a bunch of names leading into a flashback montage over the previous chapters' cast then finally leading to the policeman being the guy who left the condom.

― xcixxorx, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOFY.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

So Rufus and Chuck are going out, and Chuck knows Roxanne who knows R.'s wife, who went to high school with Kathy, who introduced the policeman (who we can assume fucked the wife). And a girl named Tina knows Roxanne. So yeah, Jaymc's right. those last two women are totally extraneous. Basically for reasons unknown to us all Kathy decided to hook up with R., and R.'s wife got revenge by fucking the policeman. I think.

my head hurts.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

forget it miccio, it's chi-town

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the only reason I can see for this Roxanne/Tina shit is if the reason Kathy hooked up with R. was because she found out from Roxanne/Tina that Chuck was fucking Rufus and decided she needed some Kells orgasm shit cuz undoubtedly R.'s wife would blab to her friend from high school about his prowess. But as Kathy was shocked at the Chuck-Rufus revelation that seems unlikely.

x-post hahahaha

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

R Kelly is weird, but not that weird. It must be cut off early. Or something.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno, he might be that weird!

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh it has to be a cut off. I refuse to believe the song builds up to SHE INTRODUCED ME TO THE POLICEMAN WHO STOPPED YOU!!! YOU!!!! you!!! you!

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh i dunno, i can easily see him coming up with this great idea and getting bored halfway through

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

oh I'm not entirely shocked by this unnecessary plot shit (look at the end of Psycho or Sleepy Hollow or any other movie where the action stops and somebody pointlessly explains it all) but it would still end with some big tada or reflection or him yelling "THE END!!!!" or something. It wouldn't end in mid-speech.

This thing does slightly explain Mary/Kathy's whole "don't you want to know how this started" shit in 2 & 3.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO HAS MP3 OF THIS.. i'm not reading the lyrics until i listen to it.

(shields eyes)

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

miccio otm

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf, is Robert a Twin Peaks fan or what?!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

this suit burns better, look

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

his decision to write 'tina' into the story is totally fascinating, in a magnificent bastard kind of way

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

also, i am absolutely stunned that this didn't end with r. finding duder in the closet.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

also, what should've been bump'n'grind's rashomon is now officially bump'n'grind's "it's a small world after all".

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

also, what significance does the gay couple really have in the overall frame of the story? was the "closet" metaphor nothing but a happy coincidence? r. kelly, what a guy.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not cut off. i have it and i'll YSI it. it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

w...t...f...

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

that's almost as bad as the end of School Daze

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

uploading as we speak.

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

its GOTTA be tbc

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

have at it, folks:

http://s49.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0B01MINX29S850AIP32I8Z5SSF

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

boop

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess we could argue that it's the CHARACTER of R. Kelly's wife who doesn't know how to get to the (boop)ing point and brings up (boop)ing irrelevant names. I mean R. himself expresses annoyance. There really doesn't need to be a tbc, its clear she means the policeman is 'who did it.'

Sigh. Fun was had.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I always hate movies where no detail is given if there isn't a point later. Like how if an old man has a mild heart pain near the beginning you know he's gonna keel in the second act. Or if someone is good at something you know near the end there's gonna be this serious need for that skill to be to deployed to save the day. It sucks that the speeding violation was turned into one of those deals rather than as inexplicable and hilarious track padding.

This still rules though.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

how does she know a policeman stopped him? these lyrics got holes like swiss cheese

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

it literally ends with "the policeman that just stopped you...you...you".

actually it's more like "the policeman that just stopped youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoop"

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

wow

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad that the ticket thing wasn't just extraneous. Though that policeman actually catching him on that road is stretching it. I think Part 5 is just jumbled. It just hasn't sounded as interesting (though if it did is debatable) or smooth as parts 1-3. It's like he blew his load halfway and was just reaching for a way to wrap it up quick.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Awww, this is SOOO disappointing...

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

And nothing was resolved...
Oh well I guess it's back to waiting for TP3 to come out

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Saturday, 4 June 2005 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

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― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

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