Who's The Foxiest Rock Critic?

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p.s. ultragrrl is not hot

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is like the music writing equivalent of "chick lit".

i slap you royally with "The Female Eunuch"

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ok that def of chick lit is frightening and I'm glad I never have to encounter it.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

the older women at work still rock the old-school harlequins.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

FEELINGZ ARE DUMB

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

gear mocks anthony's desires

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

gear is all man

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Somebody post a picture of him and we'll see if I agree.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps we should whine about all the people in our lives who don't realize how uncool they are.

his head kind of looks like a penis in that one pic.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

give me five years though

(I plan to get the Elton John pageboy though)

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Shouldn't that be a "Paul Stanley schaffel"? You see, I doo keep up. Snaps to you jess! (Chicklit's good for breath)

― Wannabuya Bridget Jones, Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

CeCe you're all right, it's that Allred fellow who I can't parse worth an arse.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you kidding? Allred's posts are the best thing about the whole silly thread. His, and the funny anonymous dick-size one.

― Monetizing Eyeballs (diamond), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Hints from Heloise: drink(ing) to remember might not!

― Fab!, Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i dig allred's posts plenty.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

And I look like a giant phallus, it's true.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

better than looking like the worst parts of Lou Barlow and Phil Collins put together (my self-image is lovely, thank you)

while I find Allred's posts great I will admit that if I was going to make a sequel to my ism-jism overacademic bullshit thread it would be how post-meltzerian fun with punctuation reference-rushes are so passe.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

let's never fight again, Genesis Implosion

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

you should probably add an Eastern European basketball player who can't say no to twinkies to that visual mix.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a sad commentary on my thought process that the tasty junk food treat wasn't the first thing that came to mind there.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

make it ho-ho's then

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

ding-dongs.

― hstencil (hstencil), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

In which movie was this an actual quote?

"Anyone who can swallow two Sno-Balls and a Ding-Dong shouldn't have any problem with pride!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"How post-meltzerian fun with punctuation reference-rushes are so passe."

Unless you're FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT, OK???

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 22 August 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Yall tell the songs that make the whole world sing, yall got the AP Style Book and eh,eh, ver-thing, yall tell the songs yall tell the songs. O ROCK CRITICS I LUV U!

― The Big Fat Chick With A BoomBox, Sunday, 22 August 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

BFC, are you on the wagon??

― Monetizing Eyeballs (diamond), Sunday, 22 August 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Why yes I am, Mr. Eyeballs. Thank U for being able to tell! HEY

― Big Fat etc., Sunday, 22 August 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

god that other thread's even worse than this one! shame on all of you!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 22 August 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

easy:

http://themusicissue.blogspot.com/

― shookout (shookout), Sunday, 22 August 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

O god i'm sorry. i did it again. shit wheres that schnapps

― Big Fat Dum, Sunday, 22 August 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

she also has her own message board thing. or at least she did.

no, that was my board.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Sunday, 22 August 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey ILMers: I've been floating in and out of ILM, and kind of lost momentum after the server went down and then returned. However, I posted on two threads this past week: Le Tigre and Franz Ferdinand. Generally, I'm too busy to fully digest and come up with anything articulate to say on ILM. Other times, I can't get past the douchbags and general asshattery that goes on. And since my internet time is limited, I'd rather not spend my time arguing with an anonymous asshat weather or not Le Tigre fans "get" Wolf Eyes or some such shit.

This thread was started as a sarcastic response about Sarah "Ultragrrrl" Lewittn's (sp?) alleged "fatness" and "hotness," and I basically was saying, "Uh hello, look at some of the male rock critics?" And then, like everything else that I write, it went from sarcastic to emo in about three posts. More importantly, I feel to some degree, especially in New York, who you hang with and where you drink/dance determine where you will work, that male rock critics are judged for their writing alone and the women get judges on their looks AND their writing. I've had lots of NY female writers tell me this is the case. Yes, there are exceptions, I've met a few of 'em (hello Chuck!), but I also know that my spirit would be crushed (further) if I made the move to Phila to NYC or even attempted to query NYC pubs in earnest. So here I am.

Scott's right: I run a Philly-centric mailing list called Dummytown on yahoogroups, and if anyone cares, I have a blog over here: http://www.herjazz.org/sara. Maria ran a short-lived message board for our booking thing, Plain Parade, and in its short lifespan (through no fault of Maria's), managed to beat ILM for the sheer number of douchebags and asshattery. But that's Philadelphia-style asshattery, for you, instead of NYC.

For the record, I like Don Allred's posts and writing and rock critic comparisons. I still like people who take liberties with punctuation.

Someone posted a link to Daphne Carr's blog, the music issue. She's a freakin genius and cute too. She runs an awesome list for female writers called Girlgroup, which never seems to have many messages, so I find myself coming back to ILM when I'm passing time. Or banging my fucking head against a wall.

― Sara Sherr, Monday, 23 August 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.languageteachingnetwork.com/HP/whetherWeather.htm

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Monday, 23 August 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Sara! I don't deliberately experiment with punctuation, folks, or spelling either. I'm just really near-sighted and have a small dim laptop and am a speedy slob (come to think of it). I like your blog and Daphne's too. She's right about AMG; the best solution for Searching I've found is to just go do it at bn.com, that's what they're trying to torture us into doing, so we'll *buy* something. Ha! (The promo peoples are getting more diligent about drilling those little holes, aren't they. Damn.)

― Don Allred, Monday, 23 August 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess i'm reviving a bit of thread from up top and many moons ago, but the point that someone made about double standards (i.e. that dorky guys can date hot girls but not vice versa) is totally true... i'm really not an attractive guy (in the conventional sense [his well wishers say]) but i've never really had a problem hooking up with dating whatever "attractive" girls... and to that end... some would say that i've got a problem in that i judge a lot of girls by their looks, wherein the problem is that if the standard went the other way i'd likely be dating special olympics athletes that own daniel johnston records... okay, maybe that's a little extreme, but still...

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Monday, 23 August 2004 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

>the women get judges on their looks AND their writing. I've had lots of NY female writers tell me this is the case. Yes, there are exceptions, I've met a few of 'em (hello Chuck!), <

I am woman, hear me roar! (In fact, *Entertainment Weekly* gave my new Girl Called Eddy album an "A", I believe!) Hello Sara!!

― chuck, Monday, 23 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is like the music writing equivalent of "chick lit".

-- jess (wt...), August 22nd, 2004.

I almost pissed my pants at that one.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

CONGRATULATIONS FIRSTWORLDMAN HERE IS YOUR COOKIE

― nabiscothingy, Monday, 23 August 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

and stick it up your yeah

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if rockrit looks might be coming more important, for males as well as females. As pubishers, of periodicals as well as books, rely more on personal promotion. So far I mainly see music writers on CNN (most often Toure), and VH-1 of course. But cable's always looking for a new angle, and I could see Viacom, who own all the most common music video networks now, getting into some kind of deal like they already did for a while with SPIN and VH-1 doing parallel stuff, like the History of Punk or Metal. Maybe Voice Media will get into this too? (O course Musto's on E! pretty often, whatever kind of celeb's being dished.) And the big box bookstores (plus the smaller chains they've acquired) have this whole author-appearance circuit pretty well-established, *and* it's been somewhat perked up by C-SPAN2's Book TV weekends (often expanded, when national holidays are nigh). Haven't seen any music writers on there yet, but all this lit face time is becoming the norm, and I gotta think publishers are thinking about it, more and more, as a criterion for writers.

― Don Allred, Monday, 23 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ive never seen her but if she looks as good as she writes, lisa oliver from stylusmagazine.com must be really hot.

super masonic black hole who posts here sounds pretty hot too. ive never read her work though, only her posts.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Monday, 23 August 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

But damn how women are conditioned to internalize the values of the oppressor, to monitor their looks, incl. comparing them to those of other women! FUCK that! Sara I've seen pix of you and you look good, isome boozehound editor wants Jessica Simpson with a stylebook and a Rolex, fuck thahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht.

― Don Allred, Monday, 23 August 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

is this the scene where the sensetive guy claims to be down with the oppressed to get pussy?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 23 August 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew that was coming. No. No. And I'm not so wonderfully enlightened, at all. But the older I get the less tolerant I get(CAUSE WE'RE GONNA DIE SO THERE'S NO TIME FOR IT) of all oppressive shit(as opposed to good shit, or good bad shit). Just before this, I was listening to some sensitive shit while riding my exercycle. I had to switch over to Thin Lizzy and AC/DC. A bunch of knuckleheads, but born to run (good bad shit). Not "very" enlightened, except for the guitars.

― Don, Monday, 23 August 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I just fall towards the Cool Old Broads. Sha-ha-ronn!

― Don, Monday, 23 August 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

haha don i was kidding. don't fear my vagina.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 23 August 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

ive never seen her but if she looks as good as she writes, lisa oliver from stylusmagazine.com must be really hot.

― Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 August 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I only fear the Reaper, jess. On a brighter note, i just read on AOL News (so it must be true) that fewer people watch TV now. So mebbe that will weaken the forces of lookism.

― Don, Monday, 23 August 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if rockrit looks might be coming more important, for males as well as females.

VH1 told me, I'd be a quote dude, if I'd exercise and eat less food. Tired of being compared to damn Rob Sheffield and Joe Levy, that just ain't me.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Just don't get too good at the soundbites. That seems to be the bottomline (Rob is token smartguy).

― Dozzy, Tuesday, 24 August 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

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