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I bumped in to Turk last Diwali. He told me in confidence that the Last "Last Ever Tube Bar" was such a roaring success he's decided to open a sister club at Creation or whatever it's called. Play list will mostly be Harry Secomb, so no change there, but it's name might be of interest: "Say No To Humps. Say No To HURMPS!"

― Mitzi B, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Mitzi would never misplace an apostrophe. I suspect an imposter; it wouldn't be the first time on this board.

― The President of Turkmenistan, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you having fun with your new laptop then, Kesh?

― Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I'm skiving at work. Laptops+Boats = no internet

― Collataly Sisters, Thursday, 20 January 2005 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

That's ok then. Did you sort that equation out that was bothering you the other day? Simultaneous equations can be little shits at the that time of day, I know. Just remember that X=5 (except on Fridays).

― Colin Poppshed, Thursday, 20 January 2005 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That one is a bugger and I've still not worked it out. Mitzi tells me the answer might involve fictional numbers, or something. How's the glorious world of sheds?

― Iggy Pop Barker, Thursday, 20 January 2005 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Geordie Mick is confused.

He has been sent a tortoise in the post by a deranged fan to autograph, with a request to dress it up as a fly and play some 'satanic' bass lines to it, whilst whistling the tune to Kid Creole And The Coconut's top tune ‘Annie I’m Not Your Daddy’. The crazed anonymous poster has then reuquested he post the tortoise on to Bernard Manning.

What can it all mean?

― Suke Matterhorse, Thursday, 20 January 2005 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm denying the name Ming Mang Mong for Geordie Mick's new band 'cos there is already a perfectly acceptable mad band called Mong. If you download their grammatically challenged "Mong want's more!" offering here: http://www.topplers.net/ you will hear that Mick's new venture might suffer in comparison.

― everything, Thursday, 20 January 2005 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Turk's "The Other Tube Bar" night is infact upstairs at Firefly on 29th Jan. Be there kids.

― Kevin Hewick, Friday, 21 January 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Enough Morris, Suke. Back to the studio, I mean band.

― Ted Maul, Friday, 21 January 2005 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Pat from Prolapse is starring in a Prolpase tribute band which he has formed in Copenhagen using stoats and polecats to make up the rest of the band and they are going to play concerts to homeless people from Greenland.

― Beverly Smax, Monday, 24 January 2005 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Its official! Geordie Mick has written a new song to be sung by a sampled old Speak and Spell toy that he last used when he was 11, its kinda in da style of add n to x on mogadons. I have insider details of the song and here are the lyrics!

Measure vs calculation, by Ming Mang Mong (Projected title)

Rationals, irrationals, integers etc., have lots of interesting properties
that
measurements don't.

We can approximate a measurement by a number
from any of these sets, together with a scaling/choice of units, but none of
the
mathematical structure that makes our the number rational
or whatever remains, precisely because all measurements are approximations.

― The Robert Harrison formerly known as Kesh Mongreilf., Monday, 24 January 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it to do with sums?

― The Other Robert Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

hard sums

― another robert harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Jings! Those wee, sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous teenagers The Haggis Collectors have released a Burns night single: "Great Chieftan o' the Puddin-race!" It's backed, miraculously, by a goth/burns crossover called "Trenching your Gushing Entrails". It's braw!

― Neptune, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

That's nothing Neptune. Haggis Collectors' 9-year-old ex-roadie Dougal has formed a band called Neeps n Tatties and released "I Wish I Was Maw Broon's Son", a deranged cover of Jeremy's rarely played classic. The B-side is, inevitably, "I Feel All Bashed and Champit". Crivens!

― Uranus, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

You've trumped me again Uranus. Damn you and your crazy axis.

― Neptune, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Bog that's real.

Who is [email protected] posting as BOTH OF MY NAMES plus "Mongreilf" on sci.math.num-analysis in 1998? And posting strangely philosophical stuff too, for a numerical analysis forum.

― Rex Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Dale Olivier

― Dale Olivier, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

He of Fountainhead fame? By the way, I have spoken to Geordie Mick, his current favourite band name is Bog, Thats Real!

It works on so many different levels.

― Donald Ross Skinny, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's another geordie mick/speak and spell tune, to a funeral like dirge using a bass line not to dissimilar to 'Faith' by the Cure.

It's called "Elementary Proofs"

The existence of transendental numbers used particular proofs that pi or e
were transendental, then Cantor's diagonal argument showed the Reals were
not countable and as algebraics were, transendentals must exist.

I heard about a very longwinded existence theorem for some esoteric type of
agebraic object, only for the author's student to show it only existed in
the
trivial case. Mongreilf rock.

― Kesh Mongrielf, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM DALE OLIVIER!
I WAS A SHY MONGREL!
I WAS STREAMLINE RECORDS!
I AM MATHS!
I AM KESH!
I AM NOT GOTH! check out www.gothicrevue.com/daleolivier.html

Let me tell you mon, back in jo'burg life was tough for a young Goth with a puffy name.

― Rex Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/feature.php?ID=1444

It's not wonderful, but it's more than anyone else has written about Prolapse thus far this year.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

If Geordie Mick is using Kesh (Mongreilf) as his lyricist, does he not hate him any more?

― Martin Greasepaint, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Kesh has recently formed a Celtic Rock band, check here for details - http://www.thekesh.org.uk/kesh/
i always suspected there was an Irish Joe influence in his music....

― Wonky Boy, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Not content with writing all geordie Mick's nu ming mang mong songs for him to explain his obession with imaginary and irrational numbers and BEING a band, kesh now has a folkie side project called Mooncoin to satisfy his pastural leanings. He can be heard playing the fiddle on much of what passes for covers of "The Hangmans Beautiful daughter" in many folk clubs on the norfolk circuit. Here's da link kids:-

http://www.mooncoin.org.uk/mooncoin/default.htm

― Glebe's Thrift Funnel, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

meanwhile, back in the land of pork pies, fox hunting and tj's blue cheese sauce. the latest incarnation of the leicester music scene : pineapster brings you

the pineapster communion
the attik
thursday 27th Jan 2005

House of the famous poets
lo-ego
the displacements

£3 entry / £2 flyer.

lo-ego have their latest prog rock ish post punk all sorts lp out now whilst the displacements have just reached the final of an xfm rock competition.

the 80's was shite......

― andy black, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

You do realise no one will beilive you on here don't you?

― Mongreilf, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Waaahhhhaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!

http://thetubebar.co.uk/

― Turk E Heaven, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Mongreilf has never had an obsession with imaginary numbers, that's probably some other mathematician on the "Leicester Scene", now living by the sea. Mongreilf only speaks of irrational, algebraic and transendental numbers. It helps keep him calm.

― Uli Schwabe, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

In an alarming Volte Face The Haggis Collectors have renamed themselves as The Haggis Collective and are singing dreary agit-prop. Their first release is called, simply, Lung-Meat. No-one knows if it is an oblique and ironically sexist reference to one of Scottish Mick's early girlfriends or simply a paean to vegetarianism: revealing what haggis is actually made from.

― Dale Olivier, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

hurrah....the tube bar finally gets a decent web site.

i trust you are aware of this.

http://www.thetubeclub.co.uk

anyway, the turk should look at

www.pineapster.co.uk

at which he'll be able to plug the tube bar nights for free under the venues page. and pineapster gets 5,000 hits a day....huge...free...charity funded website.

― andy black, Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Ming Mang Mong have been added to the line up for next Tuesday's charity gig in aid of the badger protection league at the Beacon Inn in Loughborough. Because of the short notice they haven't got a full set of original songs, so will be doing some cover versions, including Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Ooo Wakka Doo wakka Day", and Jonathan King's "Leap up and down, wave your knickers in the air."

― Gertrude Ectoplasm, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Ming Mang Mong have written a new song in rehearsals called "Theme From Ming Mang Mong". Kesh (Mongrielf) wasn't allowed to write the lyrics to this one given his monomaniacial fascination with various integers so Geordie Mick improvised, just singing the words 'Ming Mang Mong' quickly over and over again until he got dizzy and fell over (legs akimbo) in a heap on the floor.

― Ming the Merciless, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Integers?! If irrationals or transcendentals are integers it's a world gone upside down.

― Mongreilf, Friday, 28 January 2005 08:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we talk about Bloom some more?

― Vin Vandal, Friday, 28 January 2005 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Are Bloom still going ?

― Mr Pleasant, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if Bloom are still going, but I've heard their singer was a bit of a goer.

― Gary Dent, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't she concieve at a Kevin Hewick concert ?

― Karl James, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually she was a bit of a Gower, as in related to David Gower, the famous leicestershire batsman.

Octavia Alfonso Gower was her full name, nothing at all to do with the Kesh Mongreilf family whatsoevahhhh

― Foxy Sideburns, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not surprised, seeing Kevin Hewick live always makes me feel like a good, hard shag.

― Sandie Bush, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I get similar urges seeing MJ Hibbert, especially after a few lager and blacks.

― Big Mad Susan, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Mad Susan, if you want to get off with MJ Hibbett learn to spell his name properly. We hear he tests people before having sex.

― The Noing Sisters, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I'm going out and buying the biggest dictionary I can find. Mmm-mm.

― Big Mad Susan, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Scottish Mick has taken on a new sideline project/job, that is disposing of any unwanted coffee tables anyone might have. Disposing of unwanted coffee tables is not as easy as you'd think (the council now charge for taking away household objects), but Mick has thought of an ingenious way to do it. In order to the reduce the size of the furniture he psychs himself up by dancing manically to "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division and then does a big belly flop onto said table smashing the legs off in one fell swoop. He can also dye carpets (tho only pink) using a special sceret formula only he knows (he will also grant Prolapse fans who know the lyrics to Doorstop Rhythmic Bloc a special 'two for one' deal where he will do both for no extra charge).

― Mongreilf, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Well he's got competition. Steve Baker has been dying his friends carpets a dirty pink for years. Upholstery too.

― Mongreilf (The real one), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I hear Steve Baker also provides this service completey free of charge

― Let me sleep in a bush, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The Ming Mang Mong charity gig came to a premature end last night when Geordie Mick went into a trance like state during the first song, "Theme from Ming Mang Mong", spinning round and round chanting the words like a mantra with his eyes closed, and fell off stage knocking himself unconcious. He was rushed to hospital, and support band Men with Cigars had to do an impromptu second set to try to calm the restless crowd. They decided to do some Prolapse covers but only knew "Fear of teeth", "Irritating radiator" and "Liquid compliment" plus the Prolapse tribute song "A hat, A hat, A mongoose and A hat" by The Scringe.

― Mad Mang, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a press conference scheduled for the visitors room in Leicester General Hospital (floor 3, B ward) at 3pm this afternoon by "Michael Daltrey Townsend Entwistle Moon Topographic Oceans Harrison".

It's rumoured that the complete tracklisting of the new Haggis Collective album "White Light, White Cyder" will be announced.

I for one am positively trembling with excitment.

― Call the polis - there's a Mad Mang in town, Friday, 4 February 2005 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Here is a leaked partially complete tracklist for the new Haggis Collective/MMM album of cover versions of songs which have influenced Geordie Mick in his formative years:

Ming me a mong (Marc Bolan)
Mangalang (Bay City Rollers)
Every little ming she does is manky (The Police)
Mang Mang (Cher)
911 is a joke (Public Enemy)

― Lester Newshound, Friday, 4 February 2005 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

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