Who would you recommend I see at Glastonbury? (other than the Wombles, obv)

Wombles should do Screamadelica

― blueski, Thursday, 16 June 2011 14:13 (5 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01329/SNF17BIZWW-682_1329197a.jpg

Backstage at Glastonbury, sounds of struggling and mild imprecations fill the air...

BOB: Oof... get tae... Jesus fuck man, ah cannae get this fuckin' 'hing oan! Holl', Orinoco! Or whatever yer fuckin' name is, gie's a haun here.
MIKE BATT: Having trouble with your costume, Mr. Gillespie?
BOB: Too fuckin' right ah um! How the fuck did you manage to get through the 70s inside wan o' these fuckers?
BATT Well, I didn't actually wear one all the time.
BOB: Here, don't be shatterin' ma illusions, man! Next, ye'll be tellin' me Bernard Cribbins never wore wan.

fumbling

BOB: Come oan, ya bastard... fuck sake, ah'm sweatin' like a fuckin' rapist here, so ah um...

more fumbling

BOB: ... at last... noo, gie's ma heid ower, wull ye?.

even more fumbling

BOB (muffled): Here, ah've jist thoat o' sumthin'... how the fuck am ah supposed to shake ma tambourine wi' this 'hing oan? Ah cannae even fucking haud it wi' these... fuckin'... paws! And ma tambourine playin's fuckin' central to 'Screamadelica', it's fuckin' key, man, ah'm tellin' ye.
BATT: Uh, 'Screamadelica'? I think there's been some misunderstanding, the classic album we're playing in its entirety tonight is "Keep On Wombling"...

Bob rapidly removes head

BOB: Keep oan WHIT??!?!??!
BATT: ... Wombling... Mr McGee said...
BOB: McGee! Ah might ah known that wee rrrrrrrat wid be involved in this... baldy Orange bastard... here, ah'm fuckin' phonin' the cunt up...

Ringtone plays 'The Sash'

BOB: McGee, it's Boab, you fuckin' takin' the pish or whit?
muffled voice
BOB: ...aye...
muffled voice
BOB: ...aye, but...
muffled voice
BOB: ...hey, haud oan a minute therr...
muffled voice
BOB: ...ah'm no fuckin' daein' it!
muffled voice (expositional dialogue follows)
BOB: ... listen ah didnae leave a cushy number as drummer in the Mary Chain in October 1985 and form Primal Scream wi' fuckin' Big Jim Navajo tae get up oan a stage and fuckin' make a tit o' mahsel'...
muffled voice
BOB: ... ya cheeky cunt, ah kept you in charlie fer years and don't you forget it!
muffled voice
BOB: ... awright, fer weeks then! Jesus Christ, can you no' open yer mooth wi'oot mentionin' Oasis, man. Gie it a rest, Al, naeb'dy's impressed!
muffled voice
BOB: ... naw, you ur...
muffled voice
BOB: ... ah've tellt ye, ah'm no daein' it!
muffled voice
BOB: ... aye, well you jist dae that then... ya fuckin'... balloon!
muffled voice
BOB: ... listen, fer the last time, can you no' understaun plain English or sumthin'? AH'M UR NAE DAEIN' IT!

pause

BOB: ... and Fuck the Queen!

slams phone down

MADAME CHOLET: Two minutes, Mr. Gillespie.

Metcheck is looking pretty positive now.

I'm not sure how well my tent will stand up to those 266 mph winds.

http://www.metcheck.com/V40/UK/FREE/7days.asp?zipcode=shepton%20mallet

a bit like 2002 and 2003 - mix of rain and sun

both these years were pretty much wall to wall sun as far as i recall. 2002 had a bit of rain on friday morning and sunday night. 2003 was roasting for most of it AFAIR

2002 was the year of Saharan Gusts

Alba, stop checking the weather forecast. :-P

I remember 2002 being pretty rainy, although not a washout.

Quite sad really, that's the last time I went! And there isn't one next year so that means at least 10 years until I next go to one. If I ever do because most of my friends aren't up for it any more.

My prediction for this year's Babylon/You Got The Love Fuck Me Not This One AGAIN Televisual Ubiquity Award: Ed Sheeran - "The A Team".

Sad I'm not going to this. Vicky is. Mind you, I am such a moaner when it starts raining I'm not sure I'd be any fun.

I have seen a few snaps of muddy wellies and I can't wait. Feel simultaneously well prepared and massively disorganised, after drunkenly dancing around in the loft late last night looking for my waterproofs. Which were, in fact, somewhere more convenient.

Similarly I'm annoyed that after the first time I've ever bought a train ticket in advance I get a ring from a mate offering me a lift. Not sure whether I'll go in this evening or have a night at home (just outside Shepton) and go into the site tomorrow.

Unneccessary detail there.

Do not understand all these smug fucks making their public proclamations about how glad they are that it's raining and aren't they clever not to be going.

SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO ONE CARES.

If I can be forgiven a plug, because this may never happen again, I'm appearing at the Free University of Glastonbury near the Park Stage at 11.30am on Saturday. Say hello if you're awake/around/can be bothered. Every year I read the Glastonbury thread but I've never actually met any ILXors there.

Very forgivable plug. Hadn't heard about the talks or the Free University at all so I'm glad you've mentioned it - will definitely stop by.

fwiw beyonce is great live. stanton warriors supposedly do a pretty full on dj set with 3dj's mixing up drum machines, live mashups etc i've never seen them playing out but their essential mix was pretty entertaining.

that said that lineup had me scratching my head, not much looked unmissable. unlike say cochella which made me want to move back to california

Based on last night's terrific Nottingham warm-up show, Paul Simon on Sunday afternoon should be a treat.

Radiohead have announced they're playing at 8pm... FUCK FUCK WHY DIDN'T I GO?! :-(

Happy for those who are seeing this though.

I will still be working in the glade at 8, if it's any consolation.

Could really do without this rain but grateful for the opportunity to have a shower and sit on my friend's sofa this morning.

Spotted Matt DC in the stonebridge bar dancing off his tits* to Optimo in the company of a very pretty lady** yesterday afternoon.

* partly true
** true

rather good screen grab

http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/festivals/glastonbury/2011/artists/primalscream/img/primalscream1.jpg

Watching U2 on t' telly last night, they don't seem to have written a memorable song in 20 years or more. The Edge is a good guitarist though.

So, Alba, Matt, DL et all did you all have a good Glastonbury?

Do not understand all these smug fucks making their public proclamations about how glad they are that it's raining and aren't they clever not to be going.

i'd have been a smug fuck saying how glad i was not to be there even if it hadn't rained, to be fair. tents *shudder*

i refuse to even look at a tent

xp I did thanks. Friday was hard work - both literally (because I had to file reviews) and weather-wise - and I had to leave on Sunday but Saturday was brilliant. Considering I've got a two-week-old daughter I was extremely grateful to be there at all.

the missus said this year was more crowded than ever before. my aversion to rain is stronger than most, i don't mind camping too much but prefer to have a shower in the morning etc. all this i can handle however, but i think the thing that puts me off glasto the most are the crowds - the bottlenecks, the crushes, the craning. This was what stuck in my mind from last time I went in 2008 and what made me think twice before putting money down this year.

Lex you at least have the virtue of consistency in that regard.

I had a great time, feel absolutely destroyed now. Best bits:

- Beyonce, obv. Kind of amazed how she managed to frontload her set with Crazy In Love, Single Ladies and Naughty Girl and manage not to sag after that. Also the enormous fireworks going off during every fanfare in Crazy In Love had the crowd 100% onside immediately - crowd reception was absolutely rapturous.

- Optimo on Thursday and the 2hrs or so after that in the Stonebridge Bar were brilliant fun. After Optimo it went all Chicago house, then Scandinavian Balearic, then Yacht Rock, 200 odd people all going mental to Fleetwood Mac. Nick you should have come over and said hello.

- Orbital at 2am on Saturday, supposedly DJing but doing what turned out to be a live set of (mostly) new material (all really good, classic Orbital sound) and then Chime, Halcyon and Dr Who. On a stage built like a giant spider shooting lasers and 10ft flames up into the air.

- Laura Marling really stunningly good on Sunday, just totally in control of her voice and the music.

- Katy B, in the dance tent, with a full live band, doing pretty much the whole album + Louder. Perfect Stranger and Katy On A Mission pretty much took the roof off.

- Wu-Tang were great, especially the crowd reaction + Method Man crowdsurfing. And the toddler next to me on his dad's shoulders putting his hands in the air on cue.

- Chemical Brothers were great in a sort of predictable way, but very spectacular with all the anthems in place.

- Azari & III in the dance tent, totally relentless, they encored with one song that's just a ridiculous banger, even better than Reckless With Your Love.

- John Cooper Clarke just rambling and reciting in the Acoustic Tent

- Quite enjoyed Paul Simon despite myself.

- A load of people shouting "bollocks" at Mumford & Sons

- Loads of great late-night stuff, right across the site. Didn't go to bed before 6 any time during the festival proper. Danced a lot in a lot of very strange environments (including with mermaids and drag queens on one night), although slightly annoyed that I couldn't find Wolf + Lamb and Soul Clap on Sunday night.

- Mostly avoiding the rain. It must have shat it down before the festival because it was really muddy when we arrived but otherwise we only got lightly rained-on on Friday. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday lovely.

- Meatwagon burgers on site, with cocktails.

Less good bits:

- Pretty stodgy mud, although that was gone by Sunday. It's rain rather than mud that kills the vibe for me though.

- The queueing system from the Shangri-La area, which is a great area in it's own right but the queuing system created a surge of demand at once so everyone had to get in there early. Killed the 'bowl around looking for adventures' aspect of Glastonbury nights a bit, everything felt a lot more purposeful and direct.

- Radiohead "secret" gig, at which about 9million people turned up, totally packing the field out, and The Park stage is too quiet to be heard over that big a crowd. Couldn't see or hear anything and left after two songs. Didn't even bother with Pulp the next day, apparently they were great, but will see them this weekend anyway.

- Security seemingly a lot more visible and much cuntier than previous years.

It wasn't more crowded than usual but the very stodgy mud concentrated people onto the walkways in some areas, notably between the Dance Field and Other Stage on Thursday and Friday.

xpost to DL

Very glad to hear that (and also aww). I did come to your talk briefly and really enjoyed it (such that I've just bought the book) but, having overdone it somewhat on Friday, felt you were better off if I didn't introduce myself on this occasion. I was not either of the weird guys who approached you mid-way through and whom, I thought, you handled very well.

Lex, there's nothing wrong with having no interest in going to Glastonbury, it's the wanting those that do to have a shit time that grates somewhat.

Also I actually watched the sun rise in the Stone Circle for the first time every, it's great.

:-) Glad you all had a good time. There's no denying, despite any misgivings, that I'd have loved to have been there all the same.

watching the sun rise in the stone circle is one of the best parts imo. you often meet people around there and have a chat for a bit...occasionally they are fools but not always!

Ah cheers Upt0eleven - much appreciated.

Matt DC's Glastonbury sounds great. Had no idea Orbital were playing - gutted to miss that.

They were listed in the programme as a DJ set - but everything they played for the first 3/4s of the set was unfamiliar and sounded very like Orbital. It was only when they did Chime and Halcyon (the latter with the usual bells and whistles) that it became obvious they were playing live. Also, one hell of a spectacular stage.

Haha, that's what Radiohead should've said they were doing.

So, let's see: There's no glast next year...

I last went in 19umhumhum, it was lovely weather all the weekend..

Then I met the girl I went on to marry and have 2 kids with. She would 'like' to have gone, but amongst the things she HATES are
1) Pushy people pushing past you
2) Being soggy, or near sogginess
3) Being stuck someplace
4) not being able to sleep because of noisy people
5) Rain, expected or otherwise

So, I decided it's best we didn't. We have done Reading fest a number of times, the last time we got vip tickets (Not VIP, vip.) which meant we had easy access to beer tent/loos/exit-entrances/nonsoggy land. So, we took the kids and were able to take them home and return for the evening while my mum babysat. (oh, as far as celeb spotting went, Devandra Benhat, the end)

My wife was saying I could take the kids to Glasto one year while she goes on a spa weekend with pals.

How much are 'kids' tickets? Last time Reading (as above), the kids were free...

I should have said hi Matt. If I see you at Wireless (assuming that's where you're seeing Pulp), I certainly shall. Sounds like you probably survived Glastonbury better than I did - I feel destroyed despite a couple of early nights - and saw quite a few more acts.

This year was probably the most tiring Glastonbury I can remember, mainly due to trying to walk around too far through the aforementioned sticky mud that would not accommodate.

Highlights were:

Primal Scream - the other stage was pretty empty so able to get really close. I can forgive them for playing Country Girl as the rest of the set was so much fun.

Friendly Fires - Gloriously sunshiney experience. Singing along to Paris while sipping gingerly at a slightly better than shit coke bottle of box wine was just the tonic to clear the head from Friday.

Guillemots - Not sure why there were in Dance West but as it was raining the sound was great. Great mix of songs fromt he whole catalogue as well. Bumped into Fyfe Dangerfield the next day backstage at Avalon and he was so friendly but I wasn't coherent enough to engage with him (see above) in as much of a conversation as he seemed to want.

RSVP - "Bhangra with a twist". Only saw them because I was working at the G Stage but so glad I did. The stage was empty when they started and rammed at the end as everyone walking past stopped to join in the fun and try out the dance moves they were showcasing.

Robyn - Empty tent (everyone had gone to Beyonce early I guess) so again was right at the front. She danced so energetically and kicked up a massive strop when her radio wasn't working but really got the crowd going. <3

The Low Anthem - Gorgeous Americana for a blistering Sunday afternoon in the Pyramid field.

Stereo MCs - Again, only saw them because I was working. Fun way to end the festival.

Shit:

Coldplay - Yeah, you pays your money you takes your choice but I only went to see them because others were and I was bored stiff up until they played Clocks in the encore.

White Lies - most pointless band I've ever heard. Opting for black and white for the screens doesn't make you look like Joy Division and doesn't create atmosphere when your music is that awful.

Wish I'd seen more tbh (the Friday night probably saw to it that I didn't) like Orbital but and maybe more in general in the Dance Village. Didn't do the Stone Circle this year which was also a bit of a shame as two years ago it was how I ended the festival and it was glorious.

i think the thing that puts me off glasto the most are the crowds - the bottlenecks, the crushes, the craning.

This is the first year I was genuinely scared of experiencing a Roskilde-like crushing but mainly, as Matt says, due to the sticky mud than necessarily the volume of people. I'm sure it won't happen but there were moments where I thought the crowd was going to topple.

Yeah Friendly Fires were fun - I watched them in almost exactly the same spot as two years ago except the crowd was twice the size.

The appeal of White Lies is baffling. We were standing at the side of that field having some food and a pint during the second half of their set and it was just nothingy.

Apparently Elbow's crowd interaction was so great I almost wish I was there, except I don't like any of their music.

Other great thing I forgot to mention = Tinie Tempah's set. I'd been wondering where all the kids were at until I got there, and they were going mental. He made the entire crowd go as low as possible and then jump up when the beat kicked in, and it worked. Also Pass Out was one of the moments of the weekend, made it worth standing through some of his ropier material.

- Orbital at 2am on Saturday, supposedly DJing but doing what turned out to be a live set of (mostly) new material (all really good, classic Orbital sound) and then Chime, Halcyon and Dr Who. On a stage built like a giant spider shooting lasers and 10ft flames up into the air.

holy

It was also shooting lightning rods of electricity up into the sky at the end of the set. Entire stage genuinely looked like it might kill someone.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5234/5878162749_e0cd5d80d1.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4141/4774469312_60fdeeb830.jpg
http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6013/5877845219_3a1038d7dc.jpg

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5270/5880802406_284f9f6fb7.jpg

wow.

For some unknown reason I left Orbital's set halfway through to go and find Bez's Acid House.

I also missed Janelle Monáe because I ran out of tome before meeting people for Chemical Brothers. But Katy B, Hercules and Love Affair, Atomic Drop (on the mental flame throwing stage before Orbital) and Beyoncé were all spectacular.

They were listed in the programme as a DJ set - but everything they played for the first 3/4s of the set was unfamiliar and sounded very like Orbital.

Didn't they do Satan early on?

Stone Circle was so lovely and green and dry when we lay out there on Saturday afternoon.

Wish I'd git there early enough to do Optimo on Thursday afternoon. Caught up with Matt for Katy B but generally failed to do much catching up with anyone. Had a great time though (except when losing my friends two nights running at Shangri-La).

Didn't they do Satan early on?

I heard bits of Satan in one of the tracks but it wasn't the whole thing.

Was Bez's Acid House any good?

I thought the rave bullring was the best thing in that part of the site fwiw.

bez's acid house is the hansel and gretl story i want to read.

don't nibble them biscuits tho.

I found Bez's Acid House mildly depressing, despite the presence of Bez dancing on stage. The other tent nearby, Reverend Sharky’s Church of the Holyroller, had better DJs and a vibe I much preferred.

despite the presence of Bez dancing on stage

plz say that he was the only one on the stage, dancing, and that this was his 'solo' career after the HapMons...