R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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THE MIND BOGGLES

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

sooo...she was doing her brother?

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

OneVanBeeth: he loves the verb "hop"
simonides3: hahah
OneVanBeeth: also no police man would say "no, except"
simonides3: yeah yeah
simonides3: the cop is so underwhelming
simonides3: i really wanted him to pull out a gun or find some drugs or something
OneVanBeeth: hahah i thought he was gonna kill the cop
simonides3: hahah yeah exactly
OneVanBeeth: "And that's when I started going crazy like I was trying to give her a baby"
simonides3: hahah YEAH
simonides3: that was amazing
OneVanBeeth: also a dude's toes are not supposed to curl
simonides3: hahaha
simonides3: im sad now that theres only one chapter left
simonides3: like, chapter 3 and most of chapter 2 were so wasted
OneVanBeethoven: She cries out "Oh my godness
I'm about to climax"
And I say "Cool climax,
just let go my leg"
OneVanBeeth: cool, cool, do that
simonides3: dude r's description of sex is kind of ridic
simonides3: its like hearing someone who's never gotten laid talk about sex
OneVanBeeth: hahahaha
simonides3: the leg cramp
OneVanBeeth: yeah
OneVanBeeth: "shit think shit think"
simonides3: i mean whatever r, just move your leg, not a big deal

me and swvl's two cents

― Leon Neyfakh (Leon Neyfakh), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

noted. gah i just heard this on the radio now with 'climax' and 'rubber' radioedited - WTF?????? maybe they play it normal later at night but still WTF????

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

this means that anybody hearing it for the first time has no idea what he found!

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD IT'S A .........

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

RBREURB

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

a rhubarb?

http://www.mskcc.org/herbswww/graphics/photos/Rhubarb.gif

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD IT'S A SPIDER!!! would have made part 5 sound real promising

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

part 4 is a big disappointment

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf! the cop cannot possibly have any relevance to the rest of the story. it's like the super-elongated version of that scott mccloud comic where some kid dies in a car crash

― a banana (alanbanana), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.scottmccloud.com/comics/carl/3a/02.html

― a banana (alanbanana), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought part 4 ended w/ "Oh my God it's a ROBERT" - which would take this a Whole Nother Level!

― fancybill (ozewayo), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Part 4 is amazing. I'm still holding out for Mr. Big in the closet.

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it's totally "Robert." Part 5: Kelly says "whatever", throws party.

― fancybill (ozewayo), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

oh part 4 sucks. There's like zero tension until the end and even that is muted. I almost miss the over the top drama of parts 1-3

― Candicissima (candicissima), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Whether it is "rubber" or "robber," I think the ending of Part 4 has now set the stage for Part 5 to begin with the rhyming line "Luke, I am your father."

― brittle-lemon, Wednesday, 1 June 2005 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

OK yeah guys its "'toine" not "tron."

― deej., Wednesday, 1 June 2005 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

But the users!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It took me a long time to get that the rubber wasn't on his dick. I thought he was like, "Oh shit, what's this rubber doin' on me?"
Then I woke up.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the love/sex scene is hilarious. the idea of the cramp is genius coming from someone whose image is all about being a mega lover !
i don't know why but i have crazy expectations that once it's complete, the trapped in the closet suite will be some kind of a rnb equivalent of a lynch movie ! or it might just end up being a silly soap opera...
anyway, by the end, just like in asterix, they will party and step, for sure...

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 07:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought he broke the rubber

― kit brash (kit brash), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 07:55 (twenty-one years ago)

from the sheer force of his SUPER-AWESOME FUCKING
his simile has become truth! hoist by his own petard!

― kit brash (kit brash), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 07:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm worried that the fact that i immediately got the significance of the rubber says bad things about my previous relationships.

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god a robert?

http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030813/9427__brad_l.jpg

― PeopleFunnyBoy (PeopleFunnyBoy), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

OK yeah guys its "'toine" not "tron."

― jones (actual), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know why but i have crazy expectations that once it's complete, the trapped in the closet suite will be some kind of a rnb equivalent of a lynch movie !

Perhaps because...?

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t058/T058877A.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm hoping against hope that the "film" is just R. Kelly alone on a stage with a chair and some props a la "U Saved Me," miming the situations described.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

is R the director of the "trapped in the closet - the movie" ? (it may have been mentionned earlier in the thread but i can't remember...and am too lazy to read it all over again...).
otherwise, maybe he should ask david lynch ! could be the creepiest thing both have ever done...

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

video for part one is on his site http://www.r-kelly.com

It's basically the song acted out note-for-note. Only big extra detail is R. Kelly sticking his head out of the closet and wagging his finger before she closes it and runs back to the room. I think a U Saved Me-style mime would be way more effective and entertaining, but as the story is so batshit it is amusing to watch someone act it out.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 2 June 2005 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The part where he pulls out the gun is perfect.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Thursday, 2 June 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah its almost out of nowhere! its like: whoa, a gun!

― latebloomer: Pain Don't Hurt (latebloomer), Thursday, 2 June 2005 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I know you guys were hoping for more (did anyone really think that this was gonna be REALLY batshit?) but the super-serious way EVERYTHING is done makes this a total winner. I especially love:
1) The pan back opening. "This is Chicago. The windy city. A city... of love. It's my city. But what happens when a man looks for love in the wrong places? Let me tell you a story..."
2) Kells watching Cathy and Rufus go at it. He IS freaky.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 June 2005 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Kells watching Cathy and Rufus go at it. He IS freaky

Well there wasn't much to do besides watch. He was a captive audience after all.

My friend just heard an edited version of part 5. Spoilers TK.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I tried looking up the tire shop ("Willoash Tires") that's outside Rufus and Cathy's window, but there's no entry in the Chicago Yellow Pages.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just trying to peg where they live -- it's West Side, yeah, but that water tower looks kind of familiar.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Woo doggy...holy brain fuck, Batman! The lyrics:

and now i'm like
well well well
what the (boop) is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talkin bitch
before it ake a match and burn this mother(Boop)er down
i said you better start talkin and start talkin right gotdamn now
then she said baby
i'm so speechless
then i said baby
you gon' be breathless
if you don't start talkin quick
woman i'm gonna have a fit
you don't know what you're (boop)in with
girl you better cut the bull(boop)
now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed
and plus i smell cigarettes
now i'm sniffin and lookin around
suspicious like someone's here
then i looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun say is he still here
she shook her head and said no
i'm checkin behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called
i said what the (boop) was you thinkin
you thought that i wouldn't find this out
and then i said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody all up in my mother(boop)in house
she hopped up and said that's enough
she said i can't take no more
then she said you've made your point but now its time to even the score
she said i know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that's right nigga i was there
with this guy in the back of the club
i said i thought you was with your girls
she said i thought you was with your guys
she said you was at that bitch's house
and don't you even try to act surprised
i said ba- she said shut up
don't you say a word
it ain't nothin you can say that i ain't already heard
then i said woman don't you try to turn it all around
cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said you're right about that
somethin did go down
but i don't have to turn it around
cuz what goes around comes back around
i'm movin a little closer to her
she's trippin over the furniture
she said wait first just let me explain
i said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh uh
i say uh what?
she said please sit down in the chair
and then she cries out i'm so scared to tell you because of what you might do
and i scream look girl you beter give me this man's name and i'm not playin with you
she says ok wipes her nose and then askeds me about a girl named tina
i thought to myself said it soudns familiar then said i'd probably know her if i seen her
then i said anyway girl what the hell has that got to do with this man
she said he know my girl roxanne
i said who the hell is roxanne
then she said roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named chuck
chuck's cool with this guy named rufus and i'm sitting there like what the fuck!
then she said rufus wife kathy, we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm confused.

that's it?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I long for the good old days of "Thin Line Between Love And Hate" where they wrapped it up with a moral.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

...

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so confused.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yr sure it didnt cut off early? It seems like its supposed to keep going.

― deej., Friday, 3 June 2005 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That was all he wrote/heard. I sure hope that's not it.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

get one fiction workshop, robert

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

tina and roxanne seems totally extraneous.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

it suddenly occurred to me that i'd like to see what larry david would do with this material.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

if... this is it, i think R is just daisy chaining a bunch of names leading into a flashback montage over the previous chapters' cast then finally leading to the policeman being the guy who left the condom.

― xcixxorx, Friday, 3 June 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOFY.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

So Rufus and Chuck are going out, and Chuck knows Roxanne who knows R.'s wife, who went to high school with Kathy, who introduced the policeman (who we can assume fucked the wife). And a girl named Tina knows Roxanne. So yeah, Jaymc's right. those last two women are totally extraneous. Basically for reasons unknown to us all Kathy decided to hook up with R., and R.'s wife got revenge by fucking the policeman. I think.

my head hurts.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

forget it miccio, it's chi-town

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

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