R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

"ROBBLE ROBBLE."

Now I'm dashing home
Doing 85
Swerving lane to lane
With fire in my eyes
I've got a million thoughts
Going through my mind
I'm thinking about what I'ma do and who I'm going to do it to when I get home
How could I be so blind
And then I looked in my rear view
I can not believe this
Woo-woo-wooo
Damn, here comes a policeman
Drove right up on me and flashed his light
i pulled over without thinking twice
He hops out his car and starts walking twords me
and says "Licence and regestration please"
I looked up at him and said, "Officer, is there something wrong?"
He said "No, except you were doing 85 in a 60 mile zone"
And then "I said officer,
let me explain please
the truth of the matter is
I've got an emergency"
He said "No excuses
and no exceptions"
I said "This is some bullshit"
As he gave me the ticket
He said "Have a nice day" and walked away
I said "Yeah, right" and drove away
And then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go around the back, bust up in the house
She's screaming "What's all that for?"
then I'm like "Woman, I called the house and a man picked up my phone"
she says "Calm down, did you forget my brother Tron came home?"
Oh. (oh)
And that's all I could say was oh
With a stupid look on my face
Said "I forgot he came home today"
And she says "That's ok
because honey I understand"
She says "You don't have to explain"
And then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
and then I turned some music on
I apoligized one more time
Then went down and started getting it on
She started biting her lips
Grabbing me and making noise
Now we're making love and she's in my ear
Whispering "it's all yours"
I said "I love you"
she said "I love you too"
Then a tear fell up out my eye
and I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said "Baby go deeper please"
And that's when I started going crazy like I was trying to give her a baby
The room feel like it's spinning
Cause we keep turning and turning
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin'
Then next thing you know she starts goin' real wild
And screaming my name
And then I said "Baby we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain"
She says "please no don't stop'
I say "I caught a cramp"
She said "Please keep on going"
I say "My leg's about to crack"
She cries out "Oh my godness
I'm about to climax"
And I say "Cool climax,
just let go my leg"
She says "you're the perfect lover"
I say "I can't go no further"
Then I flip back the covers
Oh my god a rubber [robber?]

me and swvl's two cents

http://www.mskcc.org/herbswww/graphics/photos/Rhubarb.gif

http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030813/9427__brad_l.jpg

:(

Perhaps because...?

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t058/T058877A.jpg

It's basically the song acted out note-for-note. Only big extra detail is R. Kelly sticking his head out of the closet and wagging his finger before she closes it and runs back to the room. I think a U Saved Me-style mime would be way more effective and entertaining, but as the story is so batshit it is amusing to watch someone act it out.

Well there wasn't much to do besides watch. He was a captive audience after all.

My friend just heard an edited version of part 5. Spoilers TK.

and now i'm like
well well well
what the (boop) is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talkin bitch
before it ake a match and burn this mother(Boop)er down
i said you better start talkin and start talkin right gotdamn now
then she said baby
i'm so speechless
then i said baby
you gon' be breathless
if you don't start talkin quick
woman i'm gonna have a fit
you don't know what you're (boop)in with
girl you better cut the bull(boop)
now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed
and plus i smell cigarettes
now i'm sniffin and lookin around
suspicious like someone's here
then i looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun say is he still here
she shook her head and said no
i'm checkin behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called
i said what the (boop) was you thinkin
you thought that i wouldn't find this out
and then i said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody all up in my mother(boop)in house
she hopped up and said that's enough
she said i can't take no more
then she said you've made your point but now its time to even the score
she said i know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that's right nigga i was there
with this guy in the back of the club
i said i thought you was with your girls
she said i thought you was with your guys
she said you was at that bitch's house
and don't you even try to act surprised
i said ba- she said shut up
don't you say a word
it ain't nothin you can say that i ain't already heard
then i said woman don't you try to turn it all around
cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said you're right about that
somethin did go down
but i don't have to turn it around
cuz what goes around comes back around
i'm movin a little closer to her
she's trippin over the furniture
she said wait first just let me explain
i said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh uh
i say uh what?
she said please sit down in the chair
and then she cries out i'm so scared to tell you because of what you might do
and i scream look girl you beter give me this man's name and i'm not playin with you
she says ok wipes her nose and then askeds me about a girl named tina
i thought to myself said it soudns familiar then said i'd probably know her if i seen her
then i said anyway girl what the hell has that got to do with this man
she said he know my girl roxanne
i said who the hell is roxanne
then she said roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named chuck
chuck's cool with this guy named rufus and i'm sitting there like what the fuck!
then she said rufus wife kathy, we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you.

that's it?