Best opening lines

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That one always made me laugh because I'd always thought of that record as his first. Sort of like Return Of The Durutti Column as the first album kind of syndrome.

― N. Ron, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Suckin' on my tiddies like you wanted me..... "

― maria b (maria b), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

in the exoricst baby / you were really insane

― dan (dan), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sister got bit
by a copperhead snake
in the woods behind the house."

I remember losing my shit when an utter idiot friend of mine at a party of the era announced at a party that he'd heard easily the dumbest worst song ever on the radio about some chick being bitten by a snake.

― Hunter (Hunter), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Album opener:

“Can I have the key to the medicine cabinet?
I’VE GOTTA GET SOME DRUGS”

(Volcano Suns - Farced)

Song opener:

“I woke up alarmed”

(Liz Phair “Fuck and Run”)

― Ben from Gull City, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"I am angry I am ill and I'm as ugly as sin." - Magazine, "Song From Under the Floorboards"

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

IN AN INTERSTELLAR FUCKING BURST I AM BACK TO SATURATE THE PRESS

― JOOLS, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Is she really going out with him?"

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm expressin with my full capabilities
Now I'm livin in correctional facilites" - NWA

"Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine" - Van Morrison

"All of your friends are cunts" - Mclusky

"When you have no one no one can hurt you" - Will Oldham

― neil simpson, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 07:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Screendoor slams, Mary's dress waves

― pip, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You've got your mother in a whirl
She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl
-David Bowie, Rebel Rebel

― Tijn, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I will be the first person in history to die of boredom.

- Felt, Declaration.

― flowersdie (flowersdie), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"What we have here, is failure to communicate. There are some men who just can't reach"

Guns'n'Roses, Use Your Illusion 1

― Jay K (Jay K), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Never seen you looking so fine my fuhhnky one."~Steely Dan_Any Major Dude.

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

<<"Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine" - Van Morrison>>

isn't that patti smith?

― Michael Dubsky, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"i don't like you, but i love you"

from 'you've really got a hold on me

for albums, the start of 'searching for the young soul rebels' is pretty hard to beat

crackly radio montage of holiday in the sun/smoke on the water/rat race/a couple of other things, then

rowland "[incomprehensible shout]"

dexys blokes "YEAH!"

rowland "[another incomprehensible shout]"

dexys blokes "YEAH!"

rowland (sounding spectacularly brummie) "for god's sakes burn it down"

― adam b (adam b), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pray God you can cope...." Kate Bush's 'This Woman's Work'
"I feel so extraordinary" - New Order True Faith
"Whose sticky hands are these.... and what is this empty place?" Alison Moyet - This House (possibly the greatest song lyric ever written, bar none).

― russ t, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"my mummy's dead"

― Felcher (Felcher), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Best first line of an album?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"1 2 3 4 5 6!"

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 - Fear, pretty much every song.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

kick out the jams, motherfuckers

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hi, my name is Michaelangelo Matos, and I must say, you look HOTTT tonight."

oh wait...

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

"I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand,"
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 19 February 2004 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"A long time ago
I looked at myself
and said you, you are my darling."
- Meat Puppets, "Up On The Sun"

uh-oh! i hereby report you to your local misheard lyric thread!

but the actual meat puppets lyric is indeed a classic opening line:

a long time ago
i looked at myself
and said, "you, you are my daughter"

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 19 February 2004 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Every time I close my eyes
I wake up feeling so horrrrrny"

― Jay Smooth (jsmooth995), Thursday, 19 February 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"yo right about this motherfuckin' time i'd like to hear a motherfuckin' beat"
-black nasty in 'ain't that sick'

― russ, Thursday, 19 February 2004 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

you said 'i love you' just so you could fuck her
washed your hands and then you pulled up your pants

― detroit delinquent (nathalie), Thursday, 19 February 2004 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"I still dream of Organon, I wake up crying."

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 19 February 2004 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Is she really going out with him?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"Jumping and pecking are the birds
jumping and pecking
Way down on the plane they are eating the seeds
of the melon and cucumber"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

What I want, I want Nowwwww...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 19 February 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i am a cliche...

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Thursday, 19 February 2004 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, the snot has caked against my pants...

Love, "Live And Let Live"

― Myonga Von Bontee, Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"My oh my, what a wretched life
I was born on the day that my poor mother died
I was cut from her belly with a Stanley knife
My daddy did a jig with the drunk midwife"

Nick Cave, "Up Jumped the Devil"

― Salmon Pink (Salmon Pink), Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm a streetwalkin' cheetah with a hideful of napalm"

― anode (anode), Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh yeah, you're pretty good lookin'
for a girl"

"Grandma sitting in a corner with a person in her hand going 'No no no no no.'
It only goes to show."

― otto, Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!" - Modern Lovers - Roadrunner

― maypang (maypang), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

otto:

person? i don't think that's exactly what grandma had in her hand. (or were the frogs releasing clean versions of their albums?)

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Flesh of My Flesh by Orange Juice:

"Here's a penny for your thoughts...incidently, you may keep the change."

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"So typical, a battle of wits, and I've come half-prepared"

You Made Me Feel - Trash Can Sinatras

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Duh! Penis! Reverse Freudian slip.
"I'm gonna wring the penis from your hand, Gramma.
No no no."

― otto, Friday, 20 February 2004 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"It doesn't matter if we all die..."

― Stupid (Stupid), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Arrested on charges of unemployment, he was sittin' in the witness stand/Judge's wife turned to the district attorny, said, 'Free that brown-eyed man!"

― chris herrington (chris herrington), Friday, 20 February 2004 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

A little long maybe, but still the best opener ever:

every thousand years
this metal sphere
ten times the size of Jupiter
floats just a few yards past the earth

you climb on your roof
and take a swipe at it
with a single feather
hit it once every thousand years

’til you’ve worn it down
to the size of a pea
yeah I’d say that’s a long time
but it’s only half a blink
in the place you’re gonna be

Built To Spill - Perfect From Now On

― Melson (ArchCarrier), Friday, 20 February 2004 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"When you wish upona star. And it turns into a plane."

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

five years pass...

IT WAS THE BIGGEST COCK YOU'D EVER SEEN

― ilxor, Monday, 23 March 2009 03:54 (seventeen years ago)

BUT YOU'VE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COCK HAS BEEN

― ilxor, Monday, 23 March 2009 03:55 (seventeen years ago)

"Back in the days when I was a teenager
Before I had status and before I had a pager
You could find the abstract listening to hip hop
My pops used to say, it reminded him of be-bop"

excursions, tribe called quest

― the chicano incarnation of benito juarez (primalfixations), Monday, 23 March 2009 04:46 (seventeen years ago)

"you'll find me in a berlin bar, in a corner brooding" -- kate "saxophone song"

― Surmounter, Monday, 23 March 2009 05:09 (seventeen years ago)

Skipping 78 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I was born the day they shot JFK,
the way you look at me sucks me down the sidewalk,
somebody please tell this machine I'm not a machine

― In a slipshod style (Ross), Monday, 11 December 2017 04:35 (eight years ago)

Ahhh....

I love the colorful clothes she wears

― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Monday, 11 December 2017 07:11 (eight years ago)

^ yup

― In a slipshod style (Ross), Monday, 11 December 2017 07:12 (eight years ago)

I always assumed Jack was shorthand for a state or smth, like Memphis, Tennessee, but I guess that doesn't make any sense, and instead the opening line is setting the scene of the song as a dialogue between narrator and interlocutor Jack?

can't help but feel this is lazy songwriting, that Jack is only there for the rhyme

the next line is all killer though

― niels, Monday, 11 December 2017 07:18 (eight years ago)

He is not your run of the mill garden variety Alabama country fare

― flappy bird, Monday, 11 December 2017 07:41 (eight years ago)

two years pass...

every night i tell myself i am the cosmos
i am the wind
but that don't get you back again

― cwkiii, Thursday, 28 May 2020 13:06 (six years ago)

two years pass...

Feels like I've been through a washing machine

― frogbs, Tuesday, 18 October 2022 03:51 (three years ago)

There were 87 Advil in the bottle now there's 30 left, I ate 47 so what happened to the other 10?

― frogbs, Tuesday, 18 October 2022 03:51 (three years ago)

it's not music but the opening line to Forrest McNeil's Review is one of the best:

"Life...it's literally all we have. But is it any good?"

― frogbs, Tuesday, 18 October 2022 03:57 (three years ago)

one year passes...

Son, I'm 30
I only went with your mother 'cause she's dirty

― as a lyricist he is from hell (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 22:38 (two years ago)

Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm bored and old

― alpine static, Thursday, 16 November 2023 08:28 (two years ago)

life's a nightmare,
i can't stand it

― Fizzles, Thursday, 16 November 2023 08:55 (two years ago)

Jens Lekman isn't on my mind or radar all that much, but he certainly his regarding the question of best opening lines:

Yeah I got busted.
So I used my one phone call
to dedicate
a song to you on the radio

― Valentijn, Thursday, 16 November 2023 09:47 (two years ago)

(he certainly is)

― Valentijn, Thursday, 16 November 2023 09:48 (two years ago)

I love that Jens song, but David Berman should get most of the credit there, and for the chorus too, because those lyrics are based on this bit of Berman's poem "Governors on Sominex":

P.K. was in the precinct house, using his one phone call
to dedicate a song to Tammy, for she was the light
by which he traveled into this and that

iirc one of Jens's friends had included these lines (uncredited) in a letter to him, and Jens paraphrased them in the song thinking his friend had written them.

― Vaguely Threatening CAPTCHAs, Thursday, 16 November 2023 19:07 (two years ago)

jens has plenty of candidates for the thread to be fair

― is he disgruntled adrian? (voodoo chili), Thursday, 16 November 2023 20:05 (two years ago)

It has often been my dream
To live with one who wasn't there

― Xgau Murder Spa (nikola), Saturday, 18 November 2023 03:17 (two years ago)

Life is dull, life is gray
At its best it's just OK
But I'm happy to report:
Life is also short

― one time gaffled 'em up (one time), Saturday, 18 November 2023 03:34 (two years ago)

four months pass...

I like opening lines that set the scene.

"You opened my mail apart at the seams / Now you know I live beyond my means"

"The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68 and he told me / all romantics meet the same fate some day / Cynical and drink and boring someone in some dark café"

"I got a letter from the government the other day / I opened and read it / It said they were suckers / They wanted me for their army or whatever"

― Alba, Saturday, 13 April 2024 20:16 (two years ago)

I like second lines that are critiques of opening lines, like in "Lovergirl" by Teena Marie:

Coffee, tea, or me, baby? Touché au lait
My openin' line might be a bit passé, yes

― henry s, Sunday, 14 April 2024 00:16 (two years ago)

God knows you ain’t pretty, God knows its true

― bbq, Sunday, 14 April 2024 03:18 (two years ago)

I think the first 5 seconds of Destroyer's Streethawk are some of the best opening seconds of any album. You could turn it off right there and have a clear idea of what the next 40 minutes are going to entail.

― H.P, Sunday, 14 April 2024 03:33 (two years ago)

one month passes...

The room, it was lit up
Me too, I couldn't sit up.

"Midnight Through Morning," David Blue (1966)

― clemenza, Saturday, 18 May 2024 20:35 (two years ago)

Wayne Marshall - Orgy

"Baby, let's have an orgy"

― boxedjoy, Sunday, 19 May 2024 16:58 (two years ago)

six months pass...

You'll never hear me talk about
one day just gettin' out
why put a new address
on the same ol' loneliness

Jason Molina - Just be simple

― Heez, Monday, 16 December 2024 15:07 (one year ago)

damn

― corrs unplugged, Monday, 16 December 2024 18:10 (one year ago)

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