the landfill that time forgot: crap uk bands of 00s/10s

You know the cunts who are like puppeteers for all of this shit and yet somehow going unmentioned? MUSE. FUCK MUSE.

true but along with coldplay and munkehs they are too big and 'global' for this poll

I can't hate Joe Lean & the Jing Jang Jong because a) I've never heard a single thing by them and b) the singer was the best thing in the worst series of Peep Show.

I hope to fucking god that Scouting For Girls google themselves and find this thread.

listening to JL&TJJJ for first time now

pretty shit tbh

not clear how this generated "considerable expectation" per wikipedia

It generated "considerable expectation" because there was considerable evidence that the British public would lap this shit up no matter how half-arsed and derivative it was. Except at some point around 2007 they suddenly stopped and no one noticed until it was too late and they had a load of coked-up bands with stupid names on their books.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68PNxvXZjoI

not too bad rly

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3202/2677333632_d9d89f9377_b.jpg

there they are in stoke japan

Are they secretly Gene's bastard offspring?

How could they call the band that (xp, joe)

which part dont u like

joe
lean
and
the
jing
jang
jong

"joe lean and the" is pretty offensive on its own, but the rest is mind-boggling

joe limb and the king kang kong

geordie jang and the ming mang mong

wait i fucked that up

'sok, the ten people who would've got it laughed anyway (well I did)

It's a Spike Milligan reference.

"Dear Sirs,

This band is terrible,

Sincerely,
Spike Milligan"

I don't know how record deals work, is it possible that these bands (and their even less long-term successful and possibly more appalling cousins) were signed to, say, three-album contracts, with the labels desperately hoping the bands split up before they find themselves in the position of having to fund the recording of an album by The Others in 2013?

Three album, with "options" usually only available to the label.

So, album one may do alright, or may tank.
Either way, album two may break them, keep them on the same level, or may also tank.

By album three, label goes "oh alright, make another album, here's £56"

At which point band cannot nick off, so usually split as they are label-tied.

The Others are an English rock band, signed to Poptones in July 2004 and their eponymous debut album was released on 31 January 2005.

..........

The band are currently writing and recording songs for their third album expected in 2010.

Am vaguely amused that SFG started out under the name 'Cape'.

xp seems that their second album was released on 'Lime Records' whatever that is, tho. No wonder Poptones went down, letting surefire hits like that go.

Whenever I complain about the dominance of privately educated, well-connected indie bands I worry about sounding like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZQWyImkkU0

Some bands you forgot about: The Departure, Boy Kill Boy, The 22-20s, The Dead 60s. Now they are completely forgotten.

The 22-20s have already split up and reformed. Weren't they more of a fake White Stripes/Von Bondies type act?

The Departure were astonishly bad though.

xp that was it. thanks. "thanks". actually the name has not yet triggered any memory of the music, thank fuck.

No need to "thank" me: my "kindness" had its own "reward" bcz I have now had that holloways song stuck in my head for a day.

i will not suffer alone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2M612Xj8cU

Matt DC: yes, 22-20s were some kind of tradrock/dadrock thing.

One more name: Dogs Die In Hot Cars. Though split up 2 or 3 years ago I think.

I like that Holloways song, I had no idea who sang it until now.

Do the Subways belong here? I have managed to avoid hearing them (but have seen their name everywhere repeatedly) on the assumption that they do.

The Subways definitely belong here.

watched the holloways on mute. exactly as despicable as the song - which i still haven't recalled, i can feel it knocking around in there but i've managed to hold it off so far.

If you're including The Departure then White Lies are the same but even worse, though somehow turned up after all this was over and still did well.

White Lies actually had the UK's biggest selling rock/guitar-oriented single for a couple of weeks in January, but it didn't even go Top 40.

biffy clyro - POTENTIALLY THE WORST lol smelly and welsh.

Yes, they are Welsh. Fuckin' Wales.

the zutons - fucking shit but at least they had a sax which means hey they're not the worst fucking shit

... aye, a sax which she couldn't fucking play! <bgcolor=andygray>Still, nice legs tho.

ya I recall Zutons sax as being the odd single parp on the first note of the bar. Contrary to the consensus I thought her legs were too thin and kinda gnarly too. </keysy>

had forgotten about White Lies more than I had anyone here. The clustering of these fellas makes the series of associations come easier.

Yeah, they're definitely from Kilmarnock, Wales. xp

Think you'll find that's spelled Llymarnych

ey now if there's one thing we do well up here it's shite and smelly, let's take credit where credit's due.

:D at /gray and /keysy dialogue now fully formed meme btw

richard keys is a rapist /gray
and gray is a rapist /keysy

athlete - who the fuck are these guys
babyshambles - lol heroin
biffy clyro - this scottish guy has a beard SO GO BACK TO THE SEVENTIES, CHIEF
florence and the machine - firecrotch doesn't know how to work an iPod but she knows how to work my iCock amirite
hard-fi - what is this shit
hundred reasons - iirc Kerrang! Award Winners are much like tard kids that get a ribbon for successfully completing a 50 meter walk without falling down
joe lean and the jing jang jong - not anywhere near as good as the fake band, "Put Your Hands Up For l0u1s jagg3r, He Likes The Nazis"
kaiser chiefs - u fat, fatty
kasabian - yeah the last thing the world needs right now is a band that looks like a bunch of dope smoking vikings
keane - roy keane should sue these cunts or kick them in the nads or something
mumford and sons - they should bring back the holocaust and go after folk musicians this time
noah and the whale - kill yrselfs
pigeon detectives - shit
razorlight - shit
scouting for girls - stop being so fucking english
snow patrol - insipid shit
starsailor - even worse than the shitty album they're named after!!
the courteeners - shit
the cribs - shit
the enemy - shit
the feeling - the gay has good dress sense, I'll give them that
the fratellis - worst people to pretend they're italian since fat dom passantino
the futureheads - not even kate bush's magical vagina can save you now
the hoosiers - these fagz are not even as good as middle ranking ILX poster BIG HOOS aka the steendriver
the kooks - shit
the magic numbers - shit
the ordinary boys - oh man imagine if you were a national joke, you'd fucking neck yourself. you should kill yourself if you were in a shit band like this too.
the others - shit
the rakes - shit
the stereophonics - shit
the twang - more like they suck (t)wang
the view - shit
the wombats - gay shit for anglophiles that have paid MONEY to see josie long do stand up comedy
the zutons - shit
toploader - shit

^appropriately nostalgia-inducing post amirite

a band that looks like a bunch of dope smoking vikings

love how this is still the biggest compliment paid to Kasabian itt by a mile

fuck's sake i listened to a pigeon detectives song for reference's sake yesterday and it's still in my head. the price one pays to be a lower tier ilx contributor.

i'm sure there are a lot of ugly sorts among these bands, but i'd be very surprised if any outugly the pigeon detectives singer:

http://www.tourdates.co.uk/resources/GetImage-DN-11765-1.jpg

maybe worth redoing as a picture thread if someone can spare the time.....

could probably identify about 10 of them

http://i.imgur.com/slvZ5.jpg

Snow Patrol, who I know better as "Those sad Chasing Cars people".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/content/images/2007/12/05/031207_wombats_01_450x300.jpg