Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

He was a little nicer to this one but it's still funny:

Under the Table and Dreaming [RCA, 1994]
Popular groundswells do vary in discernment, as students of jogging, nail care salons, and tax limits know. Like his homeboy and forebear Bruce Hornsby, Matthews jams politely. His instrumentation invokes classical, jazz, and bluegrass niceties. And although one can understand the deep-seated impatience with agony-as-entertainment his renown reflects, he's as bland as a tofu sandwich. C+

Glad we're on the same page.

man, freedom ain't what it used to be...and sure as shit ain't what it was....
long live this thread!!!
3 yrs and counting...lost steam but hey....glory unto it.

c'mon, people! the new DMB touring season's just around the corner...
we need to whip this thread into shape.
first, squat thrusts, then, free wieghts.

that would mean Yanni, Enya, Phil Collins solo career, Sting's solo stuff, and most "adult contemporary" would be considered "great art"?!!!
the mind boggles, freezes, reverses step, then falls off the world.

Perhaps try a show, it's freedom. I can understand why you hate us.
-- miss chievous grin (twostepjule...), January 29th, 2006.

the rhetorical function of "sorry" in this sentance would undergo a remarkable transformation if the speaker were omniscient

i can't help but ponder the idea that there IS a universe/multiverse where this statement is true, and how bad would it suck to live there?
just imagine, a world where ceaseless solos and careening fiddlin collide and never end!!!
it's almost more than i can bear to think about...

thanks gawd this is just a fabrication of a facsimile.
now, someone should post pics of kittens destroying a field of DMB fans...please?

ILM wouldn't know great music if it ripped off your head and shat down your windpipe

ILM wouldn't know great music if it ripped off your head and shat down your windpipe

some of the greatest artists ever are bland

Thats the universe eedd.

DMB fans should know better than to bring shit into this ...

it was horrible.

The 2000th post was impossibly perfect.

It's like the punchline to the longest vaudeville setup ever. That it was in no way contrived gives it serious purchase on being the single most perfect thing ever. A serendipitous gift, borne on the warm cosmic cross-winds of Google.

Thank you ILM. Thank you.

really? that's EXACTLY why i dislike him+his music.
cuz i've seen/heard too much.
why, this weekend, for instance, i had to explain (with some amount of tact, mind you) why it was i found him so bland to about 10 DMB fanatics whom were totally amazed that someone could acutally NOT enjoy that music. i went about it w/ an amazing degree of 'non-ass-holeishness' (for having drunk 1/5 of tequila, cannonballed w/ wine)
and found that the concept of not liking DMB is totally foreign to some folks...
i think i blew they're mind when they asked what i DID listen to, as they knew some of it, but found none of it appealing unless it somehow related back to DMB somehow.
it's like '6 degree of DMB' which is a tricky and evil thing to do to a drunk person...

i will admit that my first concert ever was dave matthews band. i was 14. saw him at a hockey arena, shortly before their second big album came out. was very excited. oh boy, was he ever dreamy. especially in his crappy waffle-knit henleys and unwashed khakis, pre-MTV makeover and gigantic piles of tour revenue.

ten years later, and, er, yeah. remember: i was 14.

it's boring music for boring people.

there is a guy that plays cover songs on an acoustic guitar on the deck at this bar near where i live, that you have to walk past on the weekends to get anywhere. for some reason, probably because god hates me, i've run into him covering "ants marching" or "crash into me" almost every time i'm there. someday i'm going to do something awful to him, possibly involving angry, hungry dogs or big, sharp sticks. only one of us will come out of it alive.