R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

R. runs out, hops in the car to go home and kill whoever the fuck answered his phone. WOOOoooWOOOoooWOOOooo a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket for a 85 in a 65. He goes 70 all the way home. His wife says hi and he yells about the dude and she reminds him that her brother is visiting. He apologizes, she says its ok, they go on to have some amazing sex but at the point of climax he pulls back the covers and 'oh my god, a rubber.'

I shit you not.

So at this point R. is saluting his fellow Chicago musical legend Wesley Willis, is what you're saying.

Well hey, that was long overdue. Most of part 3 was completely absurd. "Sure, I'll give you 3 mins to tell me about your romantic origins...err, you're doing it fast enough. I don't want to deal with your gay drama...I'm out!"

oh shit! and what if he wakes up all groggy and back in part one again!!! A LOOP!!!

"ROBBLE ROBBLE."

Now I'm dashing home
Doing 85
Swerving lane to lane
With fire in my eyes
I've got a million thoughts
Going through my mind
I'm thinking about what I'ma do and who I'm going to do it to when I get home
How could I be so blind
And then I looked in my rear view
I can not believe this
Woo-woo-wooo
Damn, here comes a policeman
Drove right up on me and flashed his light
i pulled over without thinking twice
He hops out his car and starts walking twords me
and says "Licence and regestration please"
I looked up at him and said, "Officer, is there something wrong?"
He said "No, except you were doing 85 in a 60 mile zone"
And then "I said officer,
let me explain please
the truth of the matter is
I've got an emergency"
He said "No excuses
and no exceptions"
I said "This is some bullshit"
As he gave me the ticket
He said "Have a nice day" and walked away
I said "Yeah, right" and drove away
And then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go around the back, bust up in the house
She's screaming "What's all that for?"
then I'm like "Woman, I called the house and a man picked up my phone"
she says "Calm down, did you forget my brother Tron came home?"
Oh. (oh)
And that's all I could say was oh
With a stupid look on my face
Said "I forgot he came home today"
And she says "That's ok
because honey I understand"
She says "You don't have to explain"
And then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
and then I turned some music on
I apoligized one more time
Then went down and started getting it on
She started biting her lips
Grabbing me and making noise
Now we're making love and she's in my ear
Whispering "it's all yours"
I said "I love you"
she said "I love you too"
Then a tear fell up out my eye
and I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said "Baby go deeper please"
And that's when I started going crazy like I was trying to give her a baby
The room feel like it's spinning
Cause we keep turning and turning
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin'
Then next thing you know she starts goin' real wild
And screaming my name
And then I said "Baby we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain"
She says "please no don't stop'
I say "I caught a cramp"
She said "Please keep on going"
I say "My leg's about to crack"
She cries out "Oh my godness
I'm about to climax"
And I say "Cool climax,
just let go my leg"
She says "you're the perfect lover"
I say "I can't go no further"
Then I flip back the covers
Oh my god a rubber [robber?]

me and swvl's two cents

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