Who's The Foxiest Rock Critic?

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― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, wait, here's one:

http://www.nf.sympatico.ca/promo/images/big/celebs_gordonjump200.jpg

Alex, if you can find a MODOK pic, I'll luv you 4evah.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Or Armin Zola. I'm not hard to please.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tvtome.com/images/people/19/5/82-20266.jpg

― Broheems (diamond), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you know he actually made a record?

― Broheems (diamond), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.rockcritics.com/ced_daft_chuck.jpg

Hot.

http://www.rockcritics.com/Father-Charley-Crespo.jpg

Not.

― s woods, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.toysfortots.org/images/gmcleod.gif

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

strongo sez: "post-rock cricketing"

this sounds like it would be the most boring sport ever. even more so than curling!

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the upside is lots of time for drinking between innings

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:23 (twenty-two years ago)

not that i need an excuse for that

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:23 (twenty-two years ago)

also, post-rock cricketing probably has a lot of player/referee arguments.

i believe this new sport needs a thread of its own.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

BLOODY FOXY

― Wayne Sophtenwrong, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

haha does stylus really have a feature called "ask a girl"? god, that really speaks volumes.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, we are NOT talking shit about curling. It's the baseball of the Winter Olympics! The pacing is exquisite! And they use squeegees (sic)!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

where's the shit talking on curling? its like golf, combined with bowling... on ice!!!

if anything, im making fun of post-rock cricketing. clearly, their governing body needs to work on the sport's image problem.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I cannot, under any circumstances, encourage the dating of jerk-wads

my neighbor's parents used to curl. at hockey practice we would use the rocks instead of pucks.

― keith m (keithmcl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

My god, I leave this thread for two days and we've gone from sexy rock critics to curling. Amazing! Actually, my housemate is a big curling fan because he's from Minnesota but has a Canadian identity crisis. He even has a Canadian satellite hooked up to watch all the curling he can get. He can't get enough, it's out of control! (The cool benefit to this is getting to watch more SCTV though, that is, if I understood how to work his television. I need an engineering degree for that).

The troll legs in action was a funny idea that I got while drunk. That was an arty pic taken by Maria. Now that I'm sober, I still think it was a good idea and I love the bald html-ing that came after that. Scott is right, I can't bowl properly. Because I'm a midget, I could not fit my midget hands around the bowling balls or barely lift them, even the nine-pounders. (That sounds kind of pervy there). Where were the children's sizes? So I had to just drop and roll. I also want to say that 9 out of 10 Short Troll Legged Girls agree that 1966-styled mini dresses and control top black tights are always a slimming option.

JoJo Dancer: That's a blast from the past. I still don't believe it was Charles Aaron. I loved reading it though.

Tall boys/short girls: Since I'm short, all boys look tall next to me, so it's not like I go out of my way to find tall boys or vice versa. My current boyfriend is pretty regular (5'8" or 5'10"). I admire the long legs of tall boys because I don't have them and I like having someone around to reach things and change my lightbulbs. But getting rejected by tall boys is the worst, because you're like, all standing on tiptoe and shouting up to their ears at a loud rock show or whatever, and when they refuse to stoop down or turn in just a little, you know they hate your guts. I have an affection for cute short boys because it's nice to have someone to share an umbrella with. In my experience, umbrella-sharing starts more fights among couples than damn near anything else.

As for Rob Sheff, I've met the dude, like three times in my life, and I'd estimate him at being at least 6'5" only because I have guy friends who are at his height (and yes, they crouch down to listen to me at rock shows and otherwise). I think even if he wanted to date a woman anywhere near as tall as he is, he'd have to hang out with the WNBA or something, so I don't think he's chasing shorties is on purpose (or even vice versa). (I once joked that he and David Fricke should start a Rock Critic Basketball Team). Anyway, I'm totally underqualified at explaining who or what RS dates, I'm saying that this might be the dilemma that extremely tall men face. And also, many tall women I've met are both mean and crazy, unlike nice and crazy, which can be workable. Maybe they are just mad because tall dudes dis them for short girls.

Onward! More funny pictures! Give me something to look at as I avoid work.

― Sara Sherr, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

I dunno if this is due to foxiness, but I am starting to get a weird obsession with Ultragrrrl. I saw her at some club when I was in NY for Siren and I'm, just...

I can't think of a single thing she's written in SPIN or her blog or has said on TV that has any value whatsoever. Any. I might be in a glass house, here, but...

god she's kinda hot! inexplicability is kind of a turn-on.

short girls will be the death of me.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 21 August 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if there are any flat out foxy rock critics though. The ones who write in a wild, hair-tossing manner (the essence of fox) also get REALLY nerdy at the same time. It's kind of no win.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 21 August 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Ultragrrrl is pretty darn cute. You're not alone, Miccio, except for like Limp Bizkit, but we're not talking about them.

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Sunday, 22 August 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh Jesus I don't know whether to thank you or not for bringing me safely (?) all the way down this thread. It is every thing I have ever heard about ilx. So this is what it takes to get Chuck on one of these (other than saying Voice suxxxxx). Anyway, I've seen a few rock critcs in person and on screen (TV/PC) (speaking of TV, an ungodly # of sitcoms feat. ugly guy/gorgeous gal. Always dug that Roseanne, though not ugly or nuthin, always demanded big fat guys, on and offscreen) But rockcrits: David Lee Roth said they all looked like Elvis Costello (meaning the EC of that time, not world's fattest vegetarian of more recent times. Never seen a rc looked like either ed. of EC, but there are somestar/crit, as well as star/critstar! correlations in following:
Simon Frith does or did resemble a cross between Ron Wood and Robyn Hitchcock
Jon Savage does or did look like every lead guitarist who *actually* wrote all the songs, and is ready to punch you. Not eager, just ready.
Dave Marsh, when young, looked a bit like Ray Davies. Later, more like brother Dave D.(I thought this *before* DaveD.'s stroke, okay?)
Frank Kogan looks kinda like Houdini, especially if Houdini was/were (copy!) a hypnotist, but appropriately so either way.
Rob Sheffield (one of very few rockcrits good with the soundbites) loks like the world's tallest cross between Huck Finn and Steve Winwood.
Richard C. Walls looks like Orson Welles (in one of his Shakespeare movies: short curly hair, curly full beard, no anal goatee), but *only from the neck up*(no hippo): the best of both worlds!
Eric Weisbard and Ann Powers used to resemble each other (wavy rust-colored hair esp.)Haven't seen pix of EW lately, but there was this documentary *series* on PBS, in which today's troubled youth (three guys) travelled America in a Volkswagen van, seeking wisdom from old white people.(Did I mention this was on PBS?) Eventually, they met Ann, who is not old(older than the 3, but so is everybody else in world, at least mentally), but she is lookin' good, the best I've ever seen her (only seen her on TV). They asked her how to get into SPIN ("Ohh, my! You're in your twenties; live your lives, enjoy yourselves. Later, in your thirties, that's the time to worry about yoyr careers.") Well that was a relief. the 3 thought so too!

― Don Allred, Sunday, 22 August 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It is every thing I have ever heard about ilx.

I'm going to assume everything you've heard about ILx is bad, then. Oy.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 22 August 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

In any case, every rock critic I've ever found foxy has a blog, except Mike McGonigal (I don't think he has one). None of the old guard, even in their prime, has ever done a thing for me -- not even big ol' bear Lester Bangs, what with his stupid facial hair.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 22 August 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

lenny kaye was(/is) a rockcritic, right?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 22 August 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that time on "Beavis and Butthead" when they were watching a CeCe Peniston video and they kept pronouncing it "penis"-ton. I've always said "penis"-ton since then.

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Sunday, 22 August 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Old-timers: Greg Shaw, maybe.

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 22 August 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I say "penis"-ton too, but I'm biased.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Sara Sherr was really engaging, on this thread. I don't recall seeing her much elsewhere.

I am still a little puzzled by JtN's claim that many attractive rock UK critics post to ilx. I cannot think of many, I think. Apart from Ewing, obviously.

― the bellefox, Sunday, 22 August 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

random, fringe critics and g.f.'s: jim o'rourke used to write a lot of stuff for 'your flesh', etc. his lady is very cute. their heights seem to match. doug wolk has a pretty decent looking girlfriend, at least the last time i saw him out. i hear they have strange party music tastes, however. drones, avant-noodling, etc. wonder what sort of snacks they offer guests... t. smith from tl&s is a frequently published ranter, semi-notorious as a ladies' man, and either a sweetie or a dick, so decent women beware. the last time i saw him he was nuzzling a slavic girl about 5'7", and he looks to be 6'4". is that short for him? thurston m. has written stuff forever. is he still with kim gordon? he's 6'7" or something, and she looks to be 5'4". what's with these tall dudes and their shorter ladies? is it a small penis looking larger next to a smaller body weirdo-thing, or the odd yet normal process of mutual attraction? of course, wolk and o'rourke are on the shorter side of the measuring stick. (height-wise, that is.) (and, in my infrequent experience, tall guys usually have above avg. packages.) (oh, maybe short girls like the taller critic guys because of their... well, you can see where i'm going with this.) chuck eddy i last saw with a six-pack of something, didn't catch the product or the brand, and there was no gal. the cans were probably shorter than he is, so what's with these critics and their small packages? (sorry, lousy joke.) did lester bangs have a steady, or did he just date narcotics and budweiser?

― kirsten abbot, Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I was on Amazon, which is always struggle--wait: I was on Amazon.com, trying to decide which CD of shape note hymns to pick out for my Mom, when suddenly up popped a box full of McGonical, Steward of Helpful Americana Suggestions. Or something like that. Amazon may have ditched editorial staff in favor of customer reviews, yeh yeh--but Mike lives, and in sundry other niches too. Not anal about wordlimits either, so you could say he does have his own blog, and title too. On the first printing of Dung, there are before and after pix of Lester. After he cleaned up his act, at least hygiene-wise,and slost weight, incl the walrustasche, looks okay. He had girlfriends all along, no matter the personal condition, according to biographers (which reminds me, over on DeRo thread, word is he's lost a ton on Atkins, but they still don't like him, the threaders that is but they're not girls so no sweat). One of those Rob soundbites I referred to was on Vh-1's "One Hit Wonders": when you have the word 'penis' in your name, people just expect all kinds of things of you." Thus, CeCe coudn't Rider way to second hit for too-Great Expectations. This is *Tolstoy* by Vh-1 standards, esp. current! Lenny Kaye has Lenny Kravitz cheekbones, plays on better records, and has a new book aout about crooners. promoting it on NPR, he sang and played solo guitar, sounded better than most per-se crooners. Liz Armstrong looks a lot like Misty Martinez.Greil Marcus looks like that blond guy Billy in U-2. Nick Hornby is not a rock critic. Chuck Eddy generally has had a mustache, noninronic-looking (good for him). Robert Christgau still has the glasses every rock critic is born with (being near-sighted is no excuse for losing them, people). That's why he's the Dean.

― Don Allred, Sunday, 22 August 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't recall seeing her much elsewhere.

Sara is VERY cool and a half. I know I've encouraged her to post more but she has her reasons for avoiding much of the discussion here, and I don't blame her.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 August 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"That's why he's the Dean"

Yes, indeed!

― Eye for an Eye, Sunday, 22 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

W-w-w-wait a minute! CeCe Peniston had a second hit -- "We Got A Love Thang"! I even bought the CD-single, whine, moan.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 22 August 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

>chuck eddy i last saw with a six-pack of something, didn't catch the product or the brand<

Definitely not "abs." These days, probably either Michelob Ultra, Corona Light, or Aspen Edge -- I am a total wimp when it comes to six packs lately (I usually opt for something refreshing and water-like), but when ordering on tap I stop worrying about carb content and generally stick with Stellas unless I'm being unduly adventurous.

― chuck, Sunday, 22 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(Way to kiss up, Ned. Does she know about your All-Squirrel Band?) Micheal! A second hit?! DAMN YOO VEE AAIITCH ONNNE (+ Rob for playing along!)

― Don Allred, Sunday, 22 August 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is odd - it's full of Americans, unfamiliar to me though familiar with each other, being well-informed about an obscure field, at some length, in a cool and sardonic way.

It's sort of like a separate entity from the rest of ilx.

― the bellefox, Sunday, 22 August 2004 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, Ned, I'm just a jealous guy, among other things. (But it's trooo about the bannnd--see its thread!)

― D.Buttinski, Sunday, 22 August 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey wait, maybe the foxiest rock critic is Mike Wolf of *Time Out New York*! (Unless he's merely the wolfiest.)

― chuck, Sunday, 22 August 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Does he howl at the moon and chase down deer nipping at their flanks?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 August 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Does he awesome sideburns and hair...no, that's Wolverine. Whatever.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 22 August 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Sara Sherr was really engaging, on this thread. I don't recall seeing her much elsewhere.

thats because she's smart enough to stay away from this place.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Sunday, 22 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

she also has her own message board thing. or at least she did.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 22 August 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Now, do the young people still say "foxy?" No offense to any young people on this thing.

― Don Allred, Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I say foxy a lot. There isn't enough foxy in the world.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Don, if we're really cool we say foxaaaaaayh. But only like if we're really really cool.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Basically if you can do the Paul Stanley shuffle to something, its foxy. Foxiest song I've heard this year is the Sahara Hotnights cover of "Rockaway Beach." You can just see their hair flapping back as they lean towards the mic for the chorus. Rowr.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is like the music writing equivalent of "chick lit".

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't there something in the Bible about "the little foxes" and the grapes?

― Lillian Hellman, Sunday, 22 August 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

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