THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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Was that guy on the left always in the Strokes?

-- JoB (jobdewi...), September 28th, 2005.

Judging from that, I think it's Nick Valensi that needs his coke allowance withdrawn. Goodbye sunken cheekbones, hello fatface.

― Cracks (Crackity), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

Drugs don't make you thin anymore? The fug?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 29 September 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

i am glad to be 25, so idon't have internet dudes disrespecting me for not hearing albums before they come out.

― N_RQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

It's like there's so much clutter on the cover now all they have room four is the faces of 4 or 5 men grouped around the lead singer in the foreground.

Rather like the 'groom with ushers' shot of a cheap wedding photographer.

― bham, Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

huh? when did nme turn into a full colour glossy magazine?

― nerve, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

re cover clutter. exactly what soooo wrong with the whole thing if you ask me.

its just soooo ugly i rarely even spend 10 minutes flicking through it.

does the new redesign tidy up the insides ? afterall the website is a lot cleaner now ?

― mark e (mark e), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Uh oh, this is bound to be shit:

http://microsites.nme.com/blog/

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

NME now designed especially for 17 year old indie dorks in Doncaster. This week NME features the most useless band in Britain

http://www.nme.com/images/82_81005_babyshambles_cover.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Why does Pete Doherty have that weird Afro?

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

b-but "oasis and kasabian unite", martian! Who could fail to be thrilled by such news!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

"rock 'n' roll" gives its verdict on the strokes? what?

NEWS JUST IN: SEX PISTOLS SHOCKER

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

This week's 'aving a laugh at the headlines

World Exclusive: NME should tell it readers Pete Doherty has no music talent ?

Oasis and Kasabian Unite: Twinned Tripe ?
Sex Pistols Shocker: Sid is dead before you lot were born
Strokes: Mad new single [Do the NME have a PR deal with the Strokes?]
Nirvana: unleashed tosh found & reviewed

..at least Peel is remembered

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

sid died before i was born (ie i am 25, so, you know, the nme's target demo, even in the 'golden age').

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if Conor McNicholas and Steve Sutherland follow our now weekly laugh at how crap the NME is in 2005.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Antony Hegarty: He is quite good after all

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:38 (twenty years ago)

DAREST CONTOR I WAS BORN IN 1980 AND STOPPED READING IN 2001 -- THOUGHTS?

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

I've got better things to do than read this shitty board, there's not enough coverage of Pete Doherty and his amazing new Afro. (Must dash as I am fellating Pete as we speak.)

― C*n*r McN*ch*l*s (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

At the moment the NME somehow seems to get worse each week. How does Conor achieve this?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if Conor McNicholas and Steve Sutherland follow our now weekly laugh at how crap the NME is in 2005.

why would they care what a bunch of cynical music lovers over 25 and impossible to demographise in any useful way etc.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

There's something jaw-dropping about the fact that The Strokes' new material gets described as "mad" twice in the space of two covers. Since I haven't heard it, I must speculate that it features a kazoo.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/images/colin_hunt2.jpg

Mad!

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

x post

I cut up the previous week's edition, throw it in the air and publish the newly arranged pieces, but with more ringtone adverts.

― Conor McNicholas (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

hmm, in related news popjustice just said rachel stevens' new is likely to debut at number 10 in the charts. probably all 37 copies were bought by ilxors.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

now you really are a tard it is a hat not a fro!!!
NOW FUCK OF AND DIE.
AND ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE V-GOOD!!!!!

― lipzo tyson, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

I think the worst part of that latest cover is "JOHN PEEL DAY: What's happening near you?" where most of the country can point and say "Fuck all".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

now you really are a tard it is a hat not a fro!!!

Whatever, he still looks like a twat.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Me and Mrs Vague came to the conclusion that the hat is the essence of Doherty's twattery, the Objective Correlative, as T.S. Eliot would put it.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

He really is the Freddie "Parrot Face" Davies of rock.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 05:42 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

new candidate:

http://www.nme.com/images/82_011105_littlebritain_cover.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

winner.

sorry, but that has to be the worst. ever.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

'TICKETS to MEET green day' [ask yer dad] rings weird.

as for 'the album that almost broke him'... it's like the fucking NOTW.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

NME in the Autumn of 2005 is a Total Laughing Stock.

Naff front covers, crap copy headlines EVERY WEEK

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

LMAO: NOW NME 2005 "How Arctic Monkeys Smashed the System"

20 Years Earlier..

NME THEN 1985: Join Red Wedge to Kick Out Thatcher

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

What the hell are we doing here?"

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

The picture wont show. So I right clicked and selected View Image and

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Page not found

We're sorry, we didn't find the page you were looking for. This could be either because it no longer exists or it was misspelt. You can search for it in the box below.

haha have they moved it because of ILM?

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

http://nme.com/images/62_011105_littlebritain_cover.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

and.... *sigh*

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

Ok thats a pretty bad cover.

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

it gets worse

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NME_Cover_L101205.jpg

― mark e (mark e), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 08:46 (twenty years ago)

Actually, those two chappies from Little Britain ("Dick Emery for C@%£$" as I've heard it described in another popular netwebby bbs-ey!!!!!) look more credible on the cover of the NME than Babyshambles!!!!!

Mind you, I'm not suprised in the least!!!! "The album almost broke us"!?!?!?!?

Look you twunts, you're supposed to be rock stars for Cliff's sake, yet you're hardly able to play concerts, and find making records too onerous!??!!? Perhaps you should just be honest and re-brand themselves as "Crack Stars". The Sun will still cover you anyway- I mean it's not as though you're going to find any member of Da Franz in 3-in-a-bed vicar/goat kiss-n-tell any time soon, is it?

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Re: New cover of the "NEW MUSICAL EXPRE".

"Nirvana The Movie!!! And Kurt Narrates it!!!!"
How does that work exactly?!?!?! Are they digging him up and installing a computer operated voicebox or something?!?!?!?!

Re: Nole Gallagher!!!!
Why's he on the cover all the time they need a retro band?!?! Why can't do any with with Menswear or Ned's Atomic Dustbin!?!?!?

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

How does that work exactly?!?!?! Are they digging him up and installing a computer operated voicebox or something?!?!?!?!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40852000/jpg/_40852193_jon1.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

are the NME still stuck in 1995? with Oasis on the front cover yet again.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

i know! they shd definitely be covering more intelligent dance music and jungle, am i right?!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

You spelt "amirite" wrong.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

DJ Martian, do you not like the NME?

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

the design of this one looks a bit better than most recent covers though. at lease there is less going on.

― mms (mms), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

I like the John Lennon gets shot bit. Imagining a 14 year old wondering if he died or not or if it was a west coast/east coast deal. (yeah maybe David Crosby shot him.)

― MitchellStirling (MitchellStirling), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

it gets worse:

retro chav mods on the front cover:

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NME_cover_L110206.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

I'm all about "PUNK IS 30 YEARS OLD- we talk to Morrissey, who owns some punk records"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:21 (twenty years ago)

god these covers are depressing... and hideous...(my sentence applies to "rock" in general, i guess !)

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:27 (twenty years ago)

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