R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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When it comes to Broadway, the part of Chuck will be sung by Luther Vandross.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The cast should be: Cathy = Vivica Fox/Sanaa Lathan, Rufus = Terrance Howard, Chuck = Taye Diggs, Kell's Wife = Gabrielle Union, The Man at the Other End of The Line: Morris Chestnut, just so it can be every black romcom of the past few years in video form.

I think this thread got me way interested in that song than I would've been otherwise because it's awfully monotone-like until they get to the big crescendo at the end where the music is screaming "HELLO, pay attention!"

― Candicissima (candicissima), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

What the fuck, nothing happens in Part 3 except you learn their names!

― High Ranking Militants, Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

well we also discover there's a man at R.'s house with his wife, but its an awkward and abrupt revelation.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Terrance Howard would be perfect!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Who answers the phone of the man they are cuckolding?

― High Ranking Militants, Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thezreview.co.uk/images/Terrence%20Howard%20jpeg.JPG

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The Chicago radio stations have not gone into All-R rotation yet...

― High Ranking Militants, Wednesday, 25 May 2005 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

patience

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Other important question: why is Kels getting so worked up about this, i.e. to the point of shooting in the air? I don't get the sense that he's being threatened or anything.

ANyway, more trivially, once this is all finished, I wonder how well these 5 tracks are gonna sit back-to-back on an album...

― The Emancipation of Baaderonixx (KERERU 4 LIFE!) (Fabfunk), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it seemed scary in Chapter 1 and 2, but now it just seems like Kathy and Rufus have bigger fish to fry.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

It's supposed to be like the scene in Reservoir Dogs where everyone's pointing a gun at someone else, except R's the only one packing.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well, more like that scene in A Fish Called Wanda.

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

prt 4 @ lemon-red.blogspot.com

R NEEDS TO TAKE A STORYTELLING WORKSHOP

― Jimmy_tango, Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

WAAAAAHOOOOO

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

omg omg omg omg

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Lyrics? Spoilers?

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

SPOILERS (READ AT YOUR OWN GODDAMN RISK)
*****************************************
*****************************************
*****************************************

R. runs out, hops in the car to go home and kill whoever the fuck answered his phone. WOOOoooWOOOoooWOOOooo a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket for a 85 in a 65. He goes 70 all the way home. His wife says hi and he yells about the dude and she reminds him that her brother is visiting. He apologizes, she says its ok, they go on to have some amazing sex but at the point of climax he pulls back the covers and 'oh my god, a rubber.'

I shit you not.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

tell me it's not the same music again....

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I appreciate the lack of logic.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

There are so many hysterical phrases and details I'm leaving out that I don't feel too bad for dropping spoilers. Same music, DUH.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, the reason he pulls back the cover is that as she's climaxing he gets a leg cramp

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Now if you don't mind I have to run to the middle of an interesection and scream for a bit.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know if it's been already discussed in this thread but has this kind of thing ever been done before ?

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

DAMN IT WHY DID I LEAVE MY LAPTOP AT HOME TODAY?!????!!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man, Kells is a trip. I've been meaning to do a post on this damned song but I'm too lazy.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Same music, DUH.

So at this point R. is saluting his fellow Chicago musical legend Wesley Willis, is what you're saying.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD A RUBBER

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Woo-WOO-Woo-WOO

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

It's all YOURS

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is he concerned about a rubber when it's his wife he's fucking?

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how Rufus, Cathy et al are just thrown out of the equation so we can hear the specifics of a parking violation and how R. Kelly is a sex god.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

speeding violation, sorry

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm assuming the discovery of the rubber = proof that his wife is shtupping someone else? (Maybe her brother?! OMG)

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how Rufus, Cathy et al are just thrown out of the equation

Well hey, that was long overdue. Most of part 3 was completely absurd. "Sure, I'll give you 3 mins to tell me about your romantic origins...err, you're doing it fast enough. I don't want to deal with your gay drama...I'm out!"

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I agree, though I assumed that Cathy suggesting R. should want to know how this all began meant there's some detail about their hook-up that had yet to be revealed. Not to mention his freaking out about her real name. but then I was making the mistake of applying logic to this whole thing. at this point I'm expecting a celebrity cameo and farm animals in part 5.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I turn arouuuuuund...what do I seeee...a man in my closet...what the f, it's JAY-Z!!!!

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, I've got a theory that he and the wife will have some big confessional aspect in part 5. Did anyone else notice that at the beginning of part 1 he's all "the woman kissing me wasn't you?" So maybe they come clean and have a big laugh about it all and the song is super meta!

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

It would have made sense to save the sex for part 5. That way he could use the same musical backdrop and explain the crescendo. Like if part 4 was more bullshit with Rufus et al and then 5 was come home and fuck the missus (just remove the whole leg cramp/rubber element). I'd think R would get off on creating a soap opera that ends with us watching him giving a woman some gargantuan orgasm. I have no idea how he's gonna make the same music work for part 5 now.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

let the R do that...

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I will! I will! I don't doubt he's gonna think up something more than is is dreamt of in my philosophy.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Or maybe he's gonna find someone trapped in the closet or it's all been a dream!

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

weirdest development yet = her brother's name is tron

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I VOTE FOR DREAM. I VOTE FOR DREAM.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay...Rufus, Kathy, Chuck yet you think Tron is weird? This might be the first name that I can actually imagine someone under the age of 45 with.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Scott Seward's gonna have words with you, re: Rufus.

oh shit! and what if he wakes up all groggy and back in part one again!!! A LOOP!!!

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops my bad, Scott! (But I'm saying)

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

this reminds me of the time i thought my social worker was kidding about his son's name being zoltan

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(this is probably the best time to admit that at first i thought he found a robber in the bed, right?)

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

R. Kelly and the 40 Thieves

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

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