Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

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this should've been 2000

A Momentous moment is about to happen on ILM

tim reynolds, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I'd like dave matthews.

2000, like the year, comes not with a bang, but a whimper.

And not a trace of plasma, either.

I DESIRE...MACARONI NECKLACES AND SOAP SCULPTURES (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

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Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Where was Allison? She should have had the 2000th post.

Will this thread ever reach 2500 or 3000?

Dave Matthews, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

DMB sucks......and you suck for liking them.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

European Electronica A-holes is what we are!

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm content with the fact that if you would have never posted that link, I would never know that site existed. And I plan to continue my life as if I don't know that site is there. I still haven't followed the link, and I don't plan to. I know sites like that are out there, but who the fuck cares."

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet this won't all be so funny when it gets so long your HIPSTER LAPTOP'S CRASH opening it up!

crash into me, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

1988 older messages are hidden.

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ok DMB fans, you really make asses of yourselves by generalizing the ungeneralizable....but you are easily generalized. You are assmunchers.
You like a retarded artist dedicated to buttsex and fingerbanging.

pope john paul II, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You like a retarded artist dedicated to buttsex and fingerbanging.


Evidence?

The Scottish Restauranteer (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Indie rock died flat in 1994 and everybody knows that, viscerally."

The Scottish Restauranteer (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The landmark of 2000th post deserved something better like when it reached 1000. At least some cake and balloons.

Robbie j, Saturday, 9 April 2005 04:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do I keep opening this thread?

was a question asked as far back as April 20, 2004.

My psyche has been permanently traumatized by Dom's repetitive photo bombardment.

I think I need a shrink.

The Silent Disco of Glastonbury (Bimble...), Saturday, 9 April 2005 05:12 (twenty-one years ago)

lesseee here...

we already had the cookies...
Dune references
Star Wars references
pics a' plenty

hmmmm...
2000=time to post onto DMB forums to link and watch the ensuing battle for the universe?

or not.

eedd, Saturday, 9 April 2005 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"Wesley Willis has more talent in one little finger." in reference to Mssrs. Matthews and band.

The amazing thing about this is that it's true. And Wesley's dead...but the statement is still rooted in undeniable fact.

Dear DMB fans. A dead schizophrenic has a lifeless appendage that is more talented than your favorite musician. Just thought you should know...

I keep hoping you will fight back, rather than disappearing into the ether. I can only assume you are too busy smoking your hacky-sacks, or whatever it is that neo-hippies do when they aren't out doing that orbit-in-a-circle dance or sticking Phish stickers over their fraternity logos on mom's Jetta.

Jerks.

John Justen (johnjusten), Sunday, 10 April 2005 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I still say the couple songs I've heard have been okay.

RS £aRue (rockist_scientist), Sunday, 10 April 2005 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

DRUMMER IS AWESOME

charleston charge (chaki), Sunday, 10 April 2005 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish the internets would have explodered after RJG's posta 2000*. Because this thread sucks now. It was always stupid, but now it's damn fucking stupid, and not in a good way.

*(which was inspired genious and befitting of the 2000th post.)

dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 11 April 2005 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

dave225--do you like Dave Matthews? Why? He sucks constipated goat's ass.

joefubbs, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you read the thread? lazy.

dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I find it amusing that people can find so much hate towards someone else's opinion. Every single person on this thread, whether you like DMB or not, if you replied with a hateful message, you are just as good as hitler, george bush (both), Satan (if you choose to believe, and every other person on this earth who decided that their opinion is better than another. If you had half a brain cell you would realize that your efforts have fallen short of nothing.

Why don't you start a thread called "Why I hate Jews" or "Why Americans are better than everybody else" or how about "Why my penis is bigger than yours" they would have about as much value to society as this one does.

Thank you.

Zach, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

(if you choose to believe)

I think people that don't like Dave just tend to be more critical. Like they'd close their parentheses, not because they're evil, but because they're not self-centered enough not to care about the readibility of their posts. And there's no way they'd ever compare others' hatred for a topic as inconsequential as their favorite band to one of the most horrible events in history. That's the kind of spoiled brat solipsism people tend to associate with Dave fans.

mt. zion, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate Dave Matthews Bands because he wasnt at the Warped Tour and if he is not at the Warped Tour or for sale at Hot Topics then I don't care because I'm fucking indie to the core bitch. Does anybody know where I can buy a new leather bracelet? I lost mine at a Dave Matthews Bands concert. I LOVE THEIR COVER OF MAIDENS RUN TO THE HILLS!!!

your mom, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I HATE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND BECAUSE I VOTED FOR BUSH AND BUSH TOLD ME THAT DAVE MATTHEWS BAND WAS DEVIL ARAB OSAMA MUSIC!!! GOD BLESS AMERICAN IDOL!

uh23423243, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally masterbated 500,000 times before i finished reading this thread because the hate for dmb is so intense and meaningful that i had to get off, if you would like to purchuse the cum from my 500,000 ejaculations you can find it at http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=16122&item=666666666666666666&rd=1

Don't forget to celebrate your 14th birthday!

winky, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Mt. Zion: Look up sentence fragment in your grammar nazi handbook.

not mt. zion, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to thank this thread for keeping me up an hour and fifteen minutes longer than I initially intended.

(All right! I posted on it!)

Zack Richardson (teenagequiet), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"Every single person on this thread, whether you like DMB or not, if you replied with a hateful message, you are just as good as hitler, george bush (both), Satan (if you choose to believe, and every other person on this earth who decided that their opinion is better than another. If you had half a brain cell you would realize that your efforts have fallen short of nothing"

HUZZAH!!!
the DMB fans are coming back to breathe new life into this withered husk of a thread!!!!

revive! the power of the DMB fanbase compells you!!!!!

eedd, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

There's nothing wrong with Hatred.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

....you fucking hippy!

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Why can't we be better than Hitler, the Bushes and Satan? Always a bridesmaid...

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone posted a link to this thread and mentioned that this board was frequented by "music journos and people in indie and electronica bands." Quite frankly:
- "Music journalism" generally strikes me as gibberish written by people who failed out of real Universities and/or never got the chance to engage in real writing.
- Electronica...um...is there even anything to say here? This genre is gayer than the semen that drips down the leg of a young Korean boy that has just been gangfucked by Elton John and 15 or 16 of his closest friends. It's bland. It lacks passion. It lacks purpose. It lacks ideology. It's music only in the most academic sense of the word. It's kind of like HIV for your ears.
- Indie rock is perhaps the only genre with a higher rating on the gay-o-meter than electronica. No talent, emaciated little queers who hack away at their instruments in a half-assed fashion and write songs that are either about "feelings" or...well...nothing at all really.

So in conclusion; as much as any of you may hate DMB at least:
- They can play their instruments to save their lives
- They actually have instruments
- Their music is intended for purposes other than giving mini-Liberaces something to dance to and arrogant emo fags something to mope along to.

Kris P., Wednesday, 13 April 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

""Wesley Willis has more talent in one little finger." in reference to Mssrs. Matthews and band.
The amazing thing about this is that it's true. And Wesley's dead...but the statement is still rooted in undeniable fact.

Dear DMB fans. A dead schizophrenic has a lifeless appendage that is more talented than your favorite musician. Just thought you should know...
"

Well, I'm a huge DMB fan...but I'm unclear as to why you would assert that a dead schizophreniac has more talent in his little finger than Flo Mournier.

:::Scratches head::::

Kris P., Wednesday, 13 April 2005 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is getting so long, cosmicomic justice would be it starts crashing servers of haters who open it up.

fraternity frederick, Thursday, 14 April 2005 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Dismissing a band that sucks -VS- Dismissing two genres of music.

Someone posted a link to this thread
Well? Where was it linked from? If you're going to spew your bullshit on our message board, post a link to yours so we can return the favor. (And we won't because fuck you and your message board.)

- "Music journalism" generally strikes me as gibberish written by people who failed out of real Universities and/or never got the chance to engage in real writing.
As opposed to trolling message boards, which is the epitome of culture.

dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 14 April 2005 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The homophobia plays right into OUR stereotypes of them!

http://userpages.umbc.edu/~bbussa1/nickbuzz.jpg

Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

- Indie rock is perhaps the only genre with a higher rating on the gay-o-meter than electronica. No talent, emaciated little queers who hack away at their instruments in a half-assed fashion and write songs that are either about "feelings" or...well...nothing at all really.

wow! that's statements' just so rife w/ homophobia i just can't quite express my humor w/ it!! i will, however, say that 'feelings' are good.

So in conclusion; as much as any of you may hate DMB at least:
- They can play their instruments to save their lives (sez you_
- They actually have instruments (can't argue w/ this...i mean, i could, but they DO have instruments)
- Their music is intended for purposes other than giving mini-Liberaces something to dance to and arrogant emo fags something to mope along to. (yowza! here we go, the pseudo-deflect! it's indicting and blatantly stereotypical w/o apology!! my hat off to you, sir/ma'am, as you have eloquently summed up what makes indie and dance music wrong w/o really putting the digs into any specific entity (a la= a band, a group, a person). you are a fucking genius w/ taste the likes of which i MUST bow to. and yr vocab and astute pigeon-holing of both genres have me and mine trembling. i suppose it's time to pack (HA!) it in....)

"you, sir, are an asshole"-cam

eedd, Thursday, 14 April 2005 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Kris' statements single-handedly vindicate every anti-DMB message here. Nice goin', jackass!

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 14 April 2005 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/images/dave_matthews_poop.jpg

Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 14 April 2005 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, at least Kris P. isn't a hippie...but given the lovely psycho-rant above, it's save to say he/she is a worthless cheap-shotting hateful fuck. I'll call it a draw as to which is worse.

By the way Kris, given your Flo reference above...do your Cryptopsy loving friends know that you sometimes get all mellow, burn some incense, and groove out to Dave Matthews? Do they come over and hold your hand while you soothe your extreme-metal hardened heart with some good old frat-rock, crying into your tear-stained care-bears pillow? I think they would be tempted to take your brains out with a wrench.

Which would really be the best option for everyone involved...

John Justen (johnjusten), Thursday, 14 April 2005 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

- Electronica...um...is there even anything to say here? This genre is gayer than the semen that drips down the leg of a young Korean boy that has just been gangfucked by Elton John and 15 or 16 of his closest friends. It's bland. It lacks passion. It lacks purpose. It lacks ideology. It's music only in the most academic sense of the word. It's kind of like HIV for your ears.
- Indie rock is perhaps the only genre with a higher rating on the gay-o-meter than electronica. No talent, emaciated little queers who hack away at their instruments in a half-assed fashion and write songs that are either about "feelings" or...well...nothing at all really.

So in conclusion; as much as any of you may hate DMB at least:
- They can play their instruments to save their lives
- They actually have instruments
- Their music is intended for purposes other than giving mini-Liberaces something to dance to and arrogant emo fags something to mope along to.

-- Kris P. (dmb2130...), April 13th, 2005.

Kris P, It's hard to imagine a bigger tosser than you to comment on ILM.
Alison especially will be appalled. You have just lived up to the preconceptions that everyone has of the DMB fan stereotype.

The Ghost Of John Toye, Thursday, 14 April 2005 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://userpages.umbc.edu/~bbussa1/nickbuzz.jpg

Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Thursday, 14 April 2005 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

http://userpages.umbc.edu/~bbussa1/nickbuzz.jpg
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http://userpages.umbc.edu/~bbussa1/nickbuzz.jpg
[mod: if you wanna delete some of the above, be my guest.. .but leave a few of the sequence plz!!!]

Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Thursday, 14 April 2005 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i still say, d00d's face (at even closer ranges) is STILL looking tre canned-hammy.
or spammy

eedd, Thursday, 14 April 2005 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Kris p, I was once a young korean boy. Then one day I grew up went to a university. I grew to hate those who like Dave matthews...so much so I would shit in a container and save it up for a month, until I had several tupperware containers full of my own completely nasty smelling shit. One night I snuck out to a frat party, full of white-baseball-caped losers, all listening to Dave matthews, or course. I went to the basement where the air conditioning system was. I put my shit in there. The smell circulated throughout the house. I had smeared it so far back in the condenser, that it took them forever to clean it out...they thought it was coming from a few vents...little did they realise I stuck it in at the source. Everyone left the party that night, and they didn't have big turn outs again for weeks. All because of my shit and hate for Dave.

So, I once young korean kid with semen streaming down his legs used his shit to shit on lovers of Matthews. I can only hope more people do as I do. Save your shit in containers. Dump it on someone who likes matthews.

Bul-go-gi, Thursday, 14 April 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

one night I was out at a bar, and saw this totally drunk I met COMPLETELY drunk girl--she was barely functioning and stumbling all over the place. I started talking to her and realized 5 min into the conversation that she liked dave matthews band. gradually we stopped talking, and I realized I had to pee really bad. I looked at the girl who was now turned the other way. and noticed her jeans were really loose in the back--so much so her ass crack was showing. Being taller than her, I stealthily whipped out my cock and proceeded to urinate down her pants--right where the ass crack was showing. I peed until my bladder was empty and she for some reason she didn't mind it...in fact about 30 seconds into it I heard her say out loud "I tihnk I wet my pants". I finished, then she wet her own pants...there was an enormous puddle on the floor beneathe her. A bit later she was thrown out of the bar for being too drunk...I watched her leave--her pants were completely soaked as she got into a cab...

Felt good to piss in someone's pants who likes dave matthews.

slickwilly, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay! The thread lives!

I try to give a new reason or two each time this revives:

1) Judging by recent additions, DMB fans can't be bothered to read thread titles (or initial posts) and realize that the anti-Dave Matthews opinions were solicited.

2) I've heard very few Dave Matthews fans who can talk about why they love the band without spewing insults at all other current bands/genres.

3) And in so doing, they name about three other current bands, demonstrate that their knowledge is about a half-inch deep.

Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

would the site ADMin please take those fucking pictures down? THe nick and buzz ones? THey are fucking retarded...who are those faggots anyway? Nick and buzz? Ram each other hard up every hole in the presence of matthews. Nick, you are a fat fuck...lose weight you gay ass-loser.

jamrod, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)


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