HOLY FUCK I FORGOT THIS STORYso one time, when i was living in philly, i and some friends of mine got drug to see some horrible play my roommate was involved in and needless to say i drank about 19 beers (this is sadly not an exxxageration) during said performance (after which i got on stage and played "the blues"...but that's another story). so afterwards we're - this is mostly people i went to college with most of whom i had since fallen out of contact with - trying to figure out where to go and there's this all night diner around the block, so we go. now, once there i'm seated next to this girl who i UTTERLY hated during college, because she was a pretentious art bitch, but who was way way hott and who had been making googly eyes at me all night because since i stopped eating and started taking lots of drugs i had somehow transmogrified into the waif-like indie boys she usually went for. so i order - insanely since my stomach was already doing the jungle gym - cheese fries and she gets a waffle. and we're exchanging banter and at one point i lean over and - drunk as a skunk - rest my head on her breasts and say, "you know, i really hate you." she just laughs. so then during the food, i start to dip my fries into her syrup. she goes, "are you sure you can handle that?" and i reply, within full earshot of the ten people around the table, "of course, you bitch...you should see the way i handle the cheese fry in my pants." stunned silence follows, before some brings up something else and we move on. then, outside the restaurant, as we're splitting up. she says to me, "so are you going to show me how you handle it?" by that point i was totally all "so what i'm drunk" and seeing my deer-like expression she says - TOTALLY DEADPAN - "your cheese fry."
so we went back to my house and fucked.
and then, i threw up on her.
THE END
― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, July 24, 2003 5:39 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark
― dayo, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:45 (fifteen years ago)
oh that really does kill me. very seriously laughing out loud. maria too.
― scott seward, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:53 (fifteen years ago)
HEY, I KNOW THAT TYPICALLY, WHEN INTERACTING WITH NOISE DUDES, IT CAN GET INSTENSE.
BUT YOU ARE JUST BEING A FAG.
IT WAS MADE PRETTY CLEAR THAT THIS WAS A JOKE AND YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC TRYING TO TELL ME I'M A DOUCHE FOR *ACTUALLY* THINKING THAT.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF DRUNKED FUNNY JOKE POSTING?
I GUESS NOT... YOU'RE PROBABLY TOO BUSY HELPING THE "NOISE SCENE" TO BOTHER WITH SHIT LIKE THAT.
:O
― HELLFAUCET (FAGZ0RD OF THE LAKES), Friday, September 23, 2005 8:02 AM
― buzza, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:54 (fifteen years ago)
start to dip my fries into her syrup.
oh rlly
― Gucci Mane hermeneuticist (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:55 (fifteen years ago)
yo is it true vordul got sonned by a wite kid after a aol beef??????― mike f, Thursday, July 22, 2004 4:44 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark
― dayo, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:57 (fifteen years ago)
Does anyone have a picture or knows a site that has a picture of Aaron Carter nude?― Robbie, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)
Post o' the year!― Bill E, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)
www.jail.com― Prude, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)
here he is with rick dees.― chaki, Wednesday, January 30, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark
― Baluchistan of Landscape Avocado (Pillbox), Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:01 (fifteen years ago)
Really, there are too many to pick one, but this thread title/response one-two is awesome <3
I can't take this connection between lyrics of Buzzcocks' Boredom echoed in Orange Juice's Rip It Up and then Peter Gabriel has to go and have a song called "Humdrum" doesn't he?Message BookmarkedBookmark Removed
No turning back.
― Bimble, Monday, 20 August 2007 09:29 (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Everyone regrets Pink Floyd in the morning.
― Bimble, Monday, 20 August 2007 09:30 (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― I used to lurk on some turtle forums (Trayce), Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:02 (fifteen years ago)
My neighbors are *very* light sleepers and they're sort of cranky and old (they love to file noise complaints for the tiniest rumble) so on nights when I cannot find my earbuds, I'm kind of at a loss (I sleep on my side so big headphones are impossible.) I have discovered a non-music alternative lately, though: I cart my TV and VCR into my bedroom, pop in a hardcore porno tape -- I'm talking "gonzo" material here, like rough anal or cumswapping or loud gagging coughing slobbering deepthroat stuff, lots of yelling -- and turn it up pretty loud. For some reason they never complain about that (I think they're too embarrassed to talk about sex, or, they feel they only have the right to complain about *music* noise -- that's why I only play the real amateur shit: no music, sounds like real fucking.) So I watch the porn and bust a nut and fall asleep immediately and the yelps and wet slappy noises keep going in the background for 2 hours and noone fucks with me. In the morning the tape has been automatically rewound and I hit play again, masturbate once more, and go to work. It's a wonderful life.
― Ramosi, Friday, January 18, 2002 3:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:23 (fifteen years ago)
What's it like!
― Tá a fhios agam, nach bhfuil? (I know, right?), Friday, December 5, 2008 2:02 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:25 (fifteen years ago)
Fuck u niggas! Some men like my hairy pussy it's more real and womanly. And yeah my amazon reviews are the shit!!! xXx
― Claire Elise Archibald, Thursday, February 8, 2007 12:15 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Yall bitches can check my myspace if u type my name into google
― Claire Elise Archibald, Thursday, February 8, 2007 12:16 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:28 (fifteen years ago)
interesting. i vote for roots manuva, although i haven't heard his album. i'm tired of mine. nonetheless, where roots manuva aims to be britain's emcee of the ages i am not aiming to be anymore than myself: a being influenced greatly by hip hop who has learned the power of words and music and believes in the power of art to redefine a culture, globally. i am not "versus" roots manuva. i am on his side. i support him and all other wordsmiths who realize the power of their words. that he may not be necesarry for this millineum. i exist, therefore i am (i hope that wasn't too pretentious for you, mr. netherlands:) anyway, both i hope that either roots manuva or myself will inspire emcees and artists alike to create on a greater level. simply stated, u.s. hip hop is boring me. the underground and avant stuff is cool, but still not cool enough. it's not life changing. we need life changing music. amethyst rock star is coming out here, in the states on october 23rd, we'll see what happens. peace saul as for my "pretentious" lyrics on coded language. those lyrics were written as a manifesto for our generation and our ability to outlive and outshine the faults of flaws of our history, through hip hop. forgive me for aiming to speak for more than myself. i was simply aiming to cast a spell to counter the negative energy that has been put out through hip hop. mind you, i'm trying very hard to be civil in this moment. there is a part of me that would much rather type "fuck you". and in the name of balance i guess i'll gladly tupe that as well (i have already). as for the mlk comparison....uh, i wouldn't say that. but thanks, i guess i'm flattered. nonetheless, i agree with the dud who said
― saul williams, Sunday, October 14, 2001 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
somehow the computer jumbled my response. the "he not being necessary for this millienium" was in respone to the mlk comment.
― saul williams, Sunday, October 14, 2001 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark
― Baluchistan of Landscape Avocado (Pillbox), Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:30 (fifteen years ago)
there is a part of me that would much rather type "fuck you"
Cee-Lo was taking notes.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:46 (fifteen years ago)
go listen to your Howard Jones cassingles you faggots. -- trevapina (mbevalacqu...), April 27th, 2004 4:28 PM.
― funky brewster (San Te), Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:49 (fifteen years ago)
One year in college I was bored and decided to become an amateur private investigator, and placed an ad in the local paper. A woman answered, claiming her husband was cheating on her and she wanted photographic evidence. I met with her and she said she'd pay me twenty dollars a day plus expenses. I ended up following her husband after he left work one night, and followed him to a deserted barn on the outskirts of the city, probably about 60 miles northwest of Chicago. He entered the barn and emerged with an armful of chickens! I snapped pix of this activity naturally, curious as to what it could mean. He got on the interstate and headed for Wisconsin, I pursued. I followed him to a field just outside of Janesville, where he took off his clothes, covered himself in chicken feed, and had the chickens eat off his corpulent body. After vomiting, I snapped some pix and went the 120 miles back to Chicago.
― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, August 18, 2004 12:49 PM B
― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 29 August 2010 03:58 (fifteen years ago)
Maybe it's cuz I've caught the show only about half the time in the last 4 seasons, but I thought the Marge/Homer dynamic was far more touching here than anything in Ratatouille. What really interesting emotional point of the series do you mean re M/H, Cas?
also, "You're a woman. You'll hang onto it your entire life" most penetrating movie line of the year thus far.
― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, September 4, 2007 10:02 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
morbz if you liked that penetrating insight may i recommend a little television program called 'reba'
― and what, Tuesday, September 4, 2007 10:27 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:05 (fifteen years ago)
xpost:
wow i never read that post!! "Bored to Death" 5 years early!!
but also, i all bullshit.
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:06 (fifteen years ago)
What up? For those who don't know, I'm Wrinklepaws and basically I regulate like Warren G.
― Wrinklecause for Applause! (Wrinklepaws), Thursday, February 8, 2007 5:36 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark
how fast could i KO this chickenshit hillbilly?
― Dr Morbius, Monday, January 7, 2008 8:52 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:09 (fifteen years ago)
Hey, take her, dude.
― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
gr80's Familiar Quotations (ISBN-13: 978-0316084604)
― My totem animal is a hamburger. (WmC), Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:20 (fifteen years ago)
not very nice story, this one but funny. anyway, a friend of mine was going home v drunk on a london overground train one night. thing was packed, no seats anywhere, so he walked down the carriage and found the first-class section of abt 6 seats completely empty. needless to say he thought, "to hell with it, i'm sitting in here," slumped in one of the chairs... and then smelt something really odd.he stood up, the stench got worse and he noticed that he'd sat in a big pile of human excrement that some dirty bastard had cracked out all over the seat. to make matters worse this made him throw up all over the carriage, too, and he couldn't walk home with someone else's shit all over his trousers so he took them off, chucked them out of the window, then sat wretching and gagging in the crap and puke-covered carriage (coz he couldn't exactly sit anywhere else), praying that no one came in, saw him and held him responsible for the whole mess, until it came to time to disembark and made the walk up the road to his house in his underwear.as luck would have it, he accomplished this relatively unnoticed - but it's not over yet. when he got to the door he realised he'd thrown his keys out of the window along with his poo-encrusted trousers so had to get his girlfriend up by screaming at her at the top of his lungs to let him in and then explain why he was blind drunk, standing in the front garden wearing only a pukey t-shirt, his underpants and shoes and stinking like a public toilet. how we all laughed...
― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, July 14, 2003 10:21 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark
― Baluchistan of Landscape Avocado (Pillbox), Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:32 (fifteen years ago)
calum have you ever actually touched a woman?― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, March 12, 2003 11:56 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark
― funky brewster (San Te), Sunday, 29 August 2010 04:38 (fifteen years ago)
OMG that Stelfox post.
― I used to lurk on some turtle forums (Trayce), Sunday, 29 August 2010 05:04 (fifteen years ago)
i got fucked up to the day dimebag left this erth. its like why dimbag and not saddam? this planit is fucked up and its like god is a crul ringmaster― animal, Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:31 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark
― estela, Sunday, 29 August 2010 05:15 (fifteen years ago)
Roughly 50 minutes of laid back hip-hop, soul & funk for your next barbecue, pool party or Outdoor Beers with Dudes event.
Summer Summer Summer Time Mix
"Summertime" - Fresh Prince & DJ Jazzy Jeff "Just Hangin Out" - Main Source "ThisIsMe" - Common "Fire (She Need Water)" - Wayne McGhee "Droppin It" - Bizzie Boyz "Mistadabolina" - Del Tha Funkee Homo Sapien "Potato Salad Pt 1" - Georgie Woods "Chips Chicken Banna Split" - JoJo and the Fugitives "Hypocrite" - Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra "Shakara (Oloje)" - Fela Kuti― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, May 10, 2007 1:43 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
ill selection HOOS― Wrinklepaws, Thursday, May 10, 2007 9:52 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
gracias big wrink― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, May 10, 2007 10:00 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― doya (crüt), Sunday, 29 August 2010 05:38 (fifteen years ago)
haha forgot about that one.
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 05:40 (fifteen years ago)
― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, August 29, 2010 4:58 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark
had no idea Gear! went on to be the chief writer for HBO's Bored to Death
― Darin, Sunday, 29 August 2010 06:23 (fifteen years ago)
gr80's Familiar Quotations (ISBN-13: 978-0316084604) --My totem animal is a hamburger. (WmC)
unabashed excelsior rockist
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 08:25 (fifteen years ago)
did Xerxes Buttles make a splash?
― sarahel, Sunday, 29 August 2010 09:44 (fifteen years ago)
787 Taylor Parkes 19 aboutaseasyas@n...
p sure 'nuclearwar.com' is not a real email addy
― the GISing of summer porns (history mayne), Sunday, 29 August 2010 09:46 (fifteen years ago)
THIS IS MY BOARD NOW, BOOTCHES
Deal with it.
― The Reverend, Saturday, September 22, 2007 12:12 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― gff, Saturday, September 22, 2007 12:20 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
count down to ban
― carne asada, Saturday, September 22, 2007 12:21 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
YOU CAN'T BAN ME FROM MY OWN BOARD
― The Reverend, Saturday, September 22, 2007 12:23 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
You wish to ban the following user: Login ID rodneyjgre✧✧✧@hotm✧✧✧.c✧✧ Display Name The Reverend Time Zone US/Pacific Creation Date Wednesday, February 21, 2007 2:53 PM IP Address 71.112.216.220 Host Name pool-71-112-216-220.sttlwa.dsl-w.verizon.net
― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Saturday, September 22, 2007 12:27 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark
― estela, Sunday, 29 August 2010 10:19 (fifteen years ago)
Seeing that old statscock reminded me...Did m✧✧@m✧✧.m✧✧ ever show up as anyone else?
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 29 August 2010 10:54 (fifteen years ago)
And I still wonder if there's a difference in how people view masturbating in a room where there is a baby, and having sex in such a room. Because, even though masturbation is considered okay these days, there's still a special stigma attached to it that enhances the "yuck"-factor.Sure they're aware, and I'm not suggesting a shield, but I am saying that there's a big difference between "mom and dad are doing something private and I have some ideas about it" and "dad has his cock out." "Aware" isn't the same as "exposed to."
Okay, what it boils down is, can an infant less than a year old thgink "dad has his cock out", and be somehow traumatized by it? If you think so, I guess there's no point in further debate.
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, December 5, 2005 10:06 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― funky brewster (San Te), Sunday, 29 August 2010 12:08 (fifteen years ago)
^^u&k
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 12:12 (fifteen years ago)
Look. I'm have a two week load coming up this Monday so I cannot stay. I think this place is duper cool tho and I promise I will be back. Theres one guy that keeps gettin my gravy but I ain;t a slave to the net and can ignore him. Vahid is a piece of shit. Ilove you guys and will bump this thread when I'm back.
http://kc6yru.net:3823/images/jim.jpg
-Big Jim Swells
― murderdogger, Saturday, December 29, 2007 1:28 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 12:50 (fifteen years ago)
woah @ jim.jpg changing!
also i just re-read that thread and loled irl
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 13:00 (fifteen years ago)
From when I was much young person, I have had this fancy: I am finding myself on my base in mine pigiami with an arm around to my bear of the teddy (are much young person in these... possibly 2 uniforms of dream or 3) and then the bear of the teddy comes to life and begins nuzzling up and down my body... and then I obtain much hard one from this fantasy... I will not enter in more particular because it would be much inadequate one! But that what has been able this dream to mean?― rodman, Sunday, 1 October 2006 17:35 (3 years ago) Permalink
― gr8080, Sunday, 29 August 2010 13:36 (fifteen years ago)
I liek Veronica. WHat's with Sting lately? Appearing on Ally MC Beal to sing "every Breath You Take? Going to Madonnas wedding? Is the same guy who wrote "Darkness" and "Walking on the Moon" ? I really have a special place in my heart for the Police, but egad, what has happened to the man? I hope Elvis COstello doesnt becoem liek him.― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, May 22, 2001 8:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
I hope Elvis Costello licks Sting.― proton, Tuesday, May 22, 2001 8:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
It would be fun to see Elvis COstello and Sting in a xxx film. Especially if Liz Taylor was watching in the backgruond and Michal Jackson was trying to mount her― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, May 22, 2001 8:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark
― Voting with My Dollars for More Swill to be Made (Eisbaer), Sunday, 29 August 2010 14:05 (fifteen years ago)
This is so easy...Rob Halford's calloused testicles battered the backside of rock and roll like a pair of sheathed wrecking balls. In contrast, none of Maiden's singers ever presented any evidence of having testicles to begin with. Rob Halford is the dubious bulge of rock and roll, the king and queen of hard rock. Iron Maiden are just a bunch of raving hippie bastards.― Kris, Sunday, May 13, 2001 7:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark
― Mark, Sunday, 29 August 2010 14:14 (fifteen years ago)
yo does any of you like INSANE CLOWN POSSE!!!!!!! if you dont now WHAT THE FUCK ICP IS DONT ask ME ..... .....................BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!! peace out --joggalo_6*― patrick terry, Friday, May 18, 2001 7:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark
― Mark, Sunday, 29 August 2010 14:16 (fifteen years ago)
what is the longest song ever (in minutes)?
what is the longest song ever (in minutes)? I think it is: Michael Jatas - Love is Hurting me (15:12 minutes)Please check out www.michaeljatas.cawww.HardcoreRadio.ca - COMING SOON!
― Michael Jatas, Monday, August 25, 2003 4:31 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark
― vessels in distress (r1o natsume), Sunday, 29 August 2010 14:19 (fifteen years ago)
Someone, in all seriousness, voted for More Fish? Not just Amon trying to butthurt Deej?― The Reverend, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:32 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Ooh We Love You Rakeem (RZA) 0
;_;― deej, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:36 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Actually that might have been me trying to butthurt Deej.
xpost― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:54 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i was kinda curious if ooh we love you rakeem would get ANY votes at all!― Eisbaer, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:55 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
ill selection HOOS.
xp― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:59 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
lol― deej, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:02 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
HEH― Chromski A.K. Gattlington, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:09 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
HOOS don't try to butthurt me again― deej, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:10 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
I do not disagree with the results of this poll― Edward III, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:31 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
deej cannot turn his butthurt into a heart ...― Eisbaer, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:33 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i hope this is forever known as the thread where hoos butthurt deej― max, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:46 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
in fact mods should change the thread title to "TITTW deej got butthurt by big hoos aka the steendriver"― max, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:47 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
butthurt by a hoosteen in a wu tang thread beef― deej, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 11:57 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
BIG HURT aka the buttdriver― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 11:58 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
haha those plays on his name never get old― deej, Wednesday, May 16, 2007 12:00 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark
― Voting with My Dollars for More Swill to be Made (Eisbaer), Sunday, 29 August 2010 14:24 (fifteen years ago)
More dirty democrat tricksters: This time it is former New York Governor, Mario Cuomo. Mario says, "Thinking is hungry business!" Then he yells for his poor wife to fetch "a meat-a-ball sandwich."He oppresses this poor woman, yet worshipped that British whore who married the geriatric former governor of New York Averill Harriman so she could disinherit his children, spend their inheritence, and then have Bill Clinton appoint her ambassador to France. The real reason USA/France relations are at an all time low is because she was always flashing her deflated bosum to Mitterand. He has never forgiven the US for sending the randy slut his way. Thanks again Bill Clinton, for screwing up the world.― dexterpie, Thursday, September 9, 2004 8:40 PM
It is just like you dirty democrat trickster francophiles, emulating your favorite French aristocrat - John Kerry. Just like him, you do not refute or deny the facts set forth, thereby admitting them as true, rather you attack a typographical error in sanctimonious piety, pretending that truth does not exist. Do you really expect me to believe if someone wrote, "@#*^% you!" that you wouldn't know what it meant? Everyone can see it means "thank you!" As for that slag Pam Harriman, everyone knows that back when she was Mrs. Churchill, she had a consensual affair with the retarded Kennedy girl (before they killed her) and fathered William Kennedy Smith, everyone's favorite Kennedy cousin. Tommy Skakel didn't kill Martha Moxley - Horny Pam did that when she was Pam Hayward and still into teenaged chicks. That was a consensual murder too, by the way. Ask John Kerry who was there when he should have been in Cambodia.― dexter pie, Friday, September 10, 2004 3:11 AM
Who is Adam Yauch? The retard is dead, even though her bootlegging pornographer daddy lobodomized her, not long after he wiped out his girlfriend Gloria Swanson's bank accounts. That was one Hollywood hottie who didn't worship every New England liberal she ever heard about.The Kennedys are "royalty" in that they treat retarded family members just like the merrie old Windsors (real name = Saxe-Gotha-Coburg) - they lock 'em up and throw away the key. Just like John Kerry does whenever he gets the chance. Tay-Ray-Za and he hate children, especially dumb ones, but particularly retarded ones. His great unspoken policy will be that of the Baron and Baroness from Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang. They want to imprison all children. Its in the platform.
By the way, know what Teddy Kennedy said to Bill Clinton back in 1992? "You should have let me drive her [Monica] home!" That is a true story too, ask John Kerry.
― dexterpie, Friday, September 10, 2004 5:28 AM
The truth is sadder than fiction. The truth is I have the heart of lion, yet I offer my kingdom for a hamster. When I was a boy, I stood a full three inches tall. My only companion and protector was my pet hamster, Bebe Rebozzo (no relation). We were vacationing on Martha's Vineyard, the French Aristocrat's sea-shore resort of choice, waiting for the ferry to take us to Walter Cronkrite's house to hear him spin lies by the campfire. Just then, John Kerry threw Bebe Rebozzo and his ugly daughters rat in the bay. With camera rolling to document his "bravery", he saved the rat, but left Bebe to die. Later that night, I saw John Kerry break into various pet stores, torching the hamster cages and raping young hamsters. I saw this all from the vantage point only a three inch tall boy could have. I have eaten my spinach and broccoli (Sorry 41) and now am 7 feet tall and ready to let freedom ring from the truths I share with you now.― dexterpie, Monday, September 13, 2004 1:48 PM
On Thursday, John Kerry walked into a high class Hotel and went straight for the bar, where he pretended he was a prostitute. First, he chatted me up and said he was "Bobby-Joe" from Tennessee, in town for business. After slipping me a roofie, he suggested we go to my place. Dressed seductively, in typical whore-gear (miniskirt, etc.) he slipped a few knick-knacks into his purse. He was acting all nice, saying he wanted to make sure I got home okay, but in truth he only wanted to burglarize my home. His dirty invitation waits, and if you elect him he will rob you, too. I am so ashamed, I felt I had to warn you.― dexterpie, Tuesday, September 21, 2004 10:14 PM
John Kerry was laughing so hard he almost shat himself, and while he was waiting for his butler to change his diaper (he did wet himself) he told me that my cats are smarter than all of you. He said even my cats won't use a dirty litterbox, but that you morons will vote for anyone you are told to vote for. My cats like to play with fluffy toys, eat bugs, and take long naps. John Kerry likes to kiss Jimmy carter and hug Michael Dukakis.Whether he is killing a hamster or slaughtering a vietnamese villiage, John Kerry knows one thing - don't mess with Dexterpie's cats because they are NOT declawed, and are smarter than all of you combined.
― dexterpie, Monday, September 13, 2004 5:43 PM
― scott seward, Sunday, 29 August 2010 15:16 (fifteen years ago)
""one time for ya mind" is the worst moment on illmatic "I was waiting for someone to say that.
― David Drake, Wednesday, October 29, 2003 3:13 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark
― funky brewster (San Te), Sunday, 29 August 2010 16:07 (fifteen years ago)
wow at the dexterpie posts. i don't know if i want context or not - will it make them even funnier knowing where they were posted?
― a hoy hoy, Sunday, 29 August 2010 18:09 (fifteen years ago)
i drive more in LA than NY, bro
i wonder if cutty would have found my heigl-lohan girl (who's also latina and half-jewish) 'frumpy'
― double bird strike (gabbneb), Thursday, February 5, 2009 2:55 PM
― Max Armstrong (buzza), Monday, 30 August 2010 03:23 (fifteen years ago)
that girl still sounds so hot
― max, Monday, 30 August 2010 03:24 (fifteen years ago)
otm
― NOT FUNNY NEEDS MORE GUCCI (deej), Monday, 30 August 2010 03:27 (fifteen years ago)
where's the one where he talks about bringing a gf to a fap and everyone drooling?
also where is 'nebb these days?
― gr8080, Monday, 30 August 2010 04:39 (fifteen years ago)
Ha, I'd never actually seen the post in which "obtain much hard one" originated.
― jaymc, Monday, 30 August 2010 05:05 (fifteen years ago)