In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

squeesa

if ilx was like the rest of the internet it would be a fucking improvement
― bato (bato), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:02 (4 years ago) Bookmark

This one girl in college, just randomly went down on the ol' brazole one night. Didn't even say a word to me. My response to the deed "your gonna get fucked now". She obliged.

-- Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, July 23, 2003 5:06 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Hehe, Marcello. That's just what doomie said! You guys should hang out.
Deal. Enjoy wallowing in your anger, ignorance and hatred. You waste. You little man.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, May 27, 2004 10:51 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

as far as tits go, bigger is better. my gf has two round robust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially the ones that are all nipple. my cock too is a thing to behold. my gf measured it at 8.5 in of dark brown veiny mexican cock. uncut, of course. it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. but she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong. i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me. i'm blessed with a flaccid cock measuring almost 7 inches. most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies. i have a snake. thank u very much!

― stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 4:50 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

crüt, you beat me to that I R-M post by a couple of minutes.

ladies and gentlemen ... burt stanton

Argh, it's not "beef with her!" That's like saying someone has beef with a unicorn. Chaki doesn't have beef with unicorn. He's just pointing out that it's actually a horse with something taped to its head.

― nabisco, Monday, October 15, 2007 6:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha forgot that one

all time

looooooool

now we're getting into the quality shit yall

*plop*
Glad you could stop by.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, August 2, 2005 9:26 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahahahahaha god damn that kills me every time

i don't get the *plop* thing

*plop* is a way of life

i don't get it

you don't get it?

plop culture

ploptomist = i am not one

He's five foot five, has the cutest little rosy lips and the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. He's got big brown eyes, a button nose and cheekbones to die for. His bum is small and tight, beautifully shaped - and his hips! Oh my god! His thighs are hard and tight, there's just the right amount of hair on his chest and he has got the biggest balls I've ever had slap against me....
― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Tuesday, March 2, 2004 8:01 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, you told me and that evening I vowed never to accompany kev through customs. They are kiwi sized but don't appear out of proportion next to his large cock. Far from being circus-freak like, he is jaw-droppingly awesome. What a guy. I can't wait to get home and climb aboard his grocery groin.
― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:09 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

1. ranking roger
2. everyone else

― DJ Salinger (joni), Saturday, November 27, 2004 7:21 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

sanskrit's single-word response of "epic" in the "robots in dis guys" thread (RIP) was one of my favorites
--goole

shhhhhh

Everyone should request what's their most characteristic post.

OK, I'll start this off.

Grime is a musical message performed by artistes like Dizzee Rascal from London. It is less about having a tight, tight band then being a real bear behind the microphone, carrying the crowd with you through the night.
One particular hotspot is where no tourist in London will ever take their tube: EAST LONDON. The poverty of East London is all up in the lyrics of such magicians as The Streets and Slaughter Mob.

Like the "no escape" attitude that runs through these streets, you also can't escape grime charging the pop charts of the US like the Beatles or Herman's Hermits. Lil Jon has expressed interest in being a part of this grime scene, even with so little money to be had, because there is that renewed purity that you can only hear in the sound of a true Englishman.

― Gabe Tonkin, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 15:19 (5 years ago) Permalink

grocery groin is so fucking epic

ha!

Results 1 - 10 of about 25,500 for "guess papers". (0.28 seconds)
This thread? Number 8.

Now fellows, wtf is a guess paper?

― jergins (jergins), Tuesday, 9 May 2006 02:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

erm, as it was all for a dare there was no consummation, but i was manually stimulated in turn by the girl i pulled and a boy who was also in the room, who wanted to see my knob in a fully erect state. alas, i had drunk far too much to get it all the way up (it still beat HIS even at 90%) and the full glory was spared. there were 3 boys and 3 girls in the room, all 3 boys and 1 of the girls were fully naked, and the other 2 girls were only wearing knickers. the night ended (after the naked girl upped sticks and headed off) with a wanking contest, the 2 remaining girls (whose idea it was) watching intently as we strived to bring ourselves to climax. it took me about twice as long as anyone else, mostly through fear of being struck by another's jet, being as i was in the centre of the three. throughout, i was made up in lipstick, rouge and a headband, and when i had been wearing clothes it had been drag. one of those ordinary student nights, then...
― unfished business, Monday, 12 March 2007 11:52 (3 years ago)

i got nothing after that. close ilx.

:o)

that post needs to be polled

P.S. I am really sick of people who are all like "black people call each other nigger all the time" -- this is a severely fucked-up perception based on people getting their information on What Black People Do All the Time pretty much solely from hip-hop videos and The Wire and shit, and I seriously wonder if people who say that honestly believe that the middle-aged woman in the next cubicle at work seriously goes home to her kids and says "what's up, my niggas, we're having Applebee's tonight!"

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 20 November 2006 21:09 (3 years ago)

amazing

had drunk far too much to get it all the way up (it still beat HIS even at 90%)

I must meet this knob

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".
― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:05 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

sheepishly eh

I became a were wolf saying a werewolf chant.Is any body elese werewolves?
― conner Smedley, Friday, 31 January 2003 01:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm a werewolf is anybody else one??
― conner Smedley, Friday, 31 January 2003 01:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

i am a weredolphin.
― gygax!, Friday, 31 January 2003 01:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

From: "Conner Smedleyt" | This is Spam | To: gygax0...
CC: "ArcaMax"
Subject: Hi
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 20:45:24 -0500

I'm a werewolf Your a were doulphin cool! here s some pics of me! E-mail me !

Conner Smedleyt
xxxxx✧✧✧@emailaddr✧✧✧.n✧✧
― gygax!, Friday, 31 January 2003 03:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

you betrayed his weretrust.
― RJG (RJG), Friday, 31 January 2003 03:33 (7 years ago)

trying to find strongo's cheese doodle or cheese fries post

HOLY FUCK I FORGOT THIS STORY
so one time, when i was living in philly, i and some friends of mine got drug to see some horrible play my roommate was involved in and needless to say i drank about 19 beers (this is sadly not an exxxageration) during said performance (after which i got on stage and played "the blues"...but that's another story). so afterwards we're - this is mostly people i went to college with most of whom i had since fallen out of contact with - trying to figure out where to go and there's this all night diner around the block, so we go. now, once there i'm seated next to this girl who i UTTERLY hated during college, because she was a pretentious art bitch, but who was way way hott and who had been making googly eyes at me all night because since i stopped eating and started taking lots of drugs i had somehow transmogrified into the waif-like indie boys she usually went for. so i order - insanely since my stomach was already doing the jungle gym - cheese fries and she gets a waffle. and we're exchanging banter and at one point i lean over and - drunk as a skunk - rest my head on her breasts and say, "you know, i really hate you." she just laughs. so then during the food, i start to dip my fries into her syrup. she goes, "are you sure you can handle that?" and i reply, within full earshot of the ten people around the table, "of course, you bitch...you should see the way i handle the cheese fry in my pants." stunned silence follows, before some brings up something else and we move on. then, outside the restaurant, as we're splitting up. she says to me, "so are you going to show me how you handle it?" by that point i was totally all "so what i'm drunk" and seeing my deer-like expression she says - TOTALLY DEADPAN - "your cheese fry."

so we went back to my house and fucked.

and then, i threw up on her.

THE END

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, July 24, 2003 5:39 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

oh that really does kill me. very seriously laughing out loud. maria too.

HEY, I KNOW THAT TYPICALLY, WHEN INTERACTING WITH NOISE DUDES, IT CAN GET INSTENSE.

BUT YOU ARE JUST BEING A FAG.

IT WAS MADE PRETTY CLEAR THAT THIS WAS A JOKE AND YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC TRYING TO TELL ME I'M A DOUCHE FOR *ACTUALLY* THINKING THAT.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF DRUNKED FUNNY JOKE POSTING?

I GUESS NOT... YOU'RE PROBABLY TOO BUSY HELPING THE "NOISE SCENE" TO BOTHER WITH SHIT LIKE THAT.

:O

― HELLFAUCET (FAGZ0RD OF THE LAKES), Friday, September 23, 2005 8:02 AM

start to dip my fries into her syrup.

oh rlly

yo is it true vordul got sonned by a wite kid after a aol beef??????
― mike f, Thursday, July 22, 2004 4:44 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Does anyone have a picture or knows a site that has a picture of Aaron Carter nude?
― Robbie, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)

Post o' the year!
― Bill E, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)

www.jail.com
― Prude, Tuesday, January 29, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)

here he is with rick dees.
― chaki, Wednesday, January 30, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark

Really, there are too many to pick one, but this thread title/response one-two is awesome <3

I can't take this connection between lyrics of Buzzcocks' Boredom echoed in Orange Juice's Rip It Up and then Peter Gabriel has to go and have a song called "Humdrum" doesn't he?
Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

No turning back.

― Bimble, Monday, 20 August 2007 09:29 (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Everyone regrets Pink Floyd in the morning.

― Bimble, Monday, 20 August 2007 09:30 (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

My neighbors are *very* light sleepers and they're sort of cranky and old (they love to file noise complaints for the tiniest rumble) so on nights when I cannot find my earbuds, I'm kind of at a loss (I sleep on my side so big headphones are impossible.) I have discovered a non-music alternative lately, though: I cart my TV and VCR into my bedroom, pop in a hardcore porno tape -- I'm talking "gonzo" material here, like rough anal or cumswapping or loud gagging coughing slobbering deepthroat stuff, lots of yelling -- and turn it up pretty loud. For some reason they never complain about that (I think they're too embarrassed to talk about sex, or, they feel they only have the right to complain about *music* noise -- that's why I only play the real amateur shit: no music, sounds like real fucking.) So I watch the porn and bust a nut and fall asleep immediately and the yelps and wet slappy noises keep going in the background for 2 hours and noone fucks with me. In the morning the tape has been automatically rewound and I hit play again, masturbate once more, and go to work. It's a wonderful life.

― Ramosi, Friday, January 18, 2002 3:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark

What's it like!

― Tá a fhios agam, nach bhfuil? (I know, right?), Friday, December 5, 2008 2:02 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

Fuck u niggas! Some men like my hairy pussy it's more real and womanly. And yeah my amazon reviews are the shit!!! xXx

― Claire Elise Archibald, Thursday, February 8, 2007 12:15 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yall bitches can check my myspace if u type my name into google

― Claire Elise Archibald, Thursday, February 8, 2007 12:16 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark