In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

wheres the dom passantino itt

fat chance of that happening

get it

wheres the dom passantino itt

― NOT FUNNY NEEDS MORE GUCCI (deej), Saturday, August 28, 2010 7:37 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fat chance of that happening

― Prime Minister Dougal McGuire (King Boy Pato), Saturday, August 28, 2010 9:11 AM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark

Please tell me that last line was your personal touch.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:17 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Nick Crowe was the drummer for the rock band Gay Dad

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:17 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
(x-post, but, really, I could copy and paste that all day)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:18 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
can someone provide the clif's notes please.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:18 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
or tell me what it sez in a sentence. it isn't just: Rap is bad. is it?

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:19 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Why do people who played in the assiest of ass-end of ass bands set themselves up like this?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:20 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
A very long joke but what a punchline.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:20 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Let's play "count the sentences of submerged racism".

― John Fortune, Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:21 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
relayed back to the people who matter tales of white trash culture and the junk diet upon which it subsists.

Um....okay, i could be here all day. i don't know if it's worth it.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:22 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
In summary:

"Nick Crowe was the drummer for the rock band Gay Dad"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:25 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Don't worry charlie, LBZC will mock any woman who isn't pneumatic in a Nuts way.

― Ed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 11:57 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just would ike to point out that when I met Kate St. Clair in person, in real life, in a london pub, she came off exactly the fucking insane homeless bonkers bag lady archetype I thought she would. I vote hard to the left but I don't suffer a fool for very long. I suspect the rest of the FAP crowd felt sorry for me while I endured your lecture on the Masonic conference rooms of London, but I've learned my lesson not to speak for others. To cover my own sentiments, how about a big FUCK YOU YOU'RE PRETTY STUPID. Congrats on getting to open for an overrated pack of 40something talentless bithces that one time, that is something the rest of us will never get to do.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:43 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also I hate you and think you're an imbecile.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:44 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(sorry)

so hardbody

I didn't even notice this had been revived this week but
TS: Denny Lethargy VS. Denny Vertigo

did Tombot have a hot chick waiting in bed while he posted that?

something the internet has been reminding me of on a pretty regular basis for the past almost-7 years:

It's what makes the Internet wanky because everyone half-brainy who gets online thinks this after six months, "Whoa now I am in a decentered postmodern environment where anonymity is king, I will radically explore online perceptions of the self etc etc." and after another six months you realise your conceptual online art project is actually just you being a dick to people and stop it.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 26 September 2003 11:02 (6 years ago)

on a snappier note, too bad I can't find the original "leaving the house requires one part sunshine, one part pants, and two parts will to live" strongo post

Time to wipe JIZZLIKE SVEN off T-SHIRT. now hire SIR TREVOR BROOKING, knighted by the Queen herself, former England HERO. Does Sweden even have a MONARCHY?
― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, May 9, 2006 8:01 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

― shaggy (mark grout), Thursday, 6 July 2006 06:42 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

we are all winners when a thread is revived

― gershy, Saturday, March 8, 2008 3:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

I take you out to the finest resturant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers, I'll buy your ass a rose
But later on your coming out them pantie hose
You want gold, girl whats next
It's me and you, doing the sex

― jergïns, Monday, 30 July 2007 08:54 (3 years ago)

Cunt.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 29 December 2003 13:26 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sorry i am a dick!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Saturday, 15 November 2003 12:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thegardencentre: WHERE YOU FROM?
thegardencentre: WHAT YOU ON?
thegardencentre: SORRY MATE I FORGOT YOUR NAME AGAIN
thegardencentre: SOUND
Ronan909: MAD
thegardencentre: NISH
thegardencentre: CLISH
thegardencentre: DOUBLE TOP
thegardencentre: SORTED
thegardencentre: SOUND
thegardencentre: FUCK YOU RONAN FITZGERALD
thegardencentre: JUST FUCK YOU
thegardencentre: FUCKING SOUND
Ronan909: YOU YOU YOU FUCK
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: FUCKING NISH AND CLISH AND FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ronan909: NICE ONE MAN, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK YOU YOU FUCK OFF YOU, SOUND
thegardencentre: NICE JACKET YOU FUCKING FUCK
Ronan909: BAD BASTARD-fuck you you you, SOUND.
thegardencentre: THIS PILL IS GREAT YOU FUCKING FUCKER
Ronan909: i got a new jacket actually
Ronan909: thanks
Ronan909: ARE YOU ON ONE
Ronan909: FUCKFACE
thegardencentre: hahah
Ronan909: WHERE YOU FROM, WHATS YOUR NAME AND
Ronan909: FUCK OFF OUT OF MY FACE
Ronan909: hahaha
Ronan909: IM BUZZING HERE, CAN YOU FUCK OFF
Ronan909: I FEEL AMAZING, PLEASE JUST FUCK OFF YOU DICK
Ronan909: thats actually what voib killer parties are
thegardencentre: I FEEL FUCKING ACE YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE
Ronan909: YOU DICK
Ronan909: ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING TOGETHER IS SO COOL
Ronan909: ALL THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES
thegardencentre: DO YOU WANT SOME OF ME WATER YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
Ronan909: THE DJS GOOD
thegardencentre: IVE GOT SOME SPARE CHEWING GUM TWATFACE
Ronan909: WHAT A MUPPET
thegardencentre: HE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF THE KNOB
Ronan909: HERE HAVE ANOTHER PILL, YOU FUCKING TWAT

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, March 11, 2003 11:19 PM (7 years ago)

can someone find the william henry harrison rap????

Ah, very good call:

--

what you think thirty three in the glock is for?! black fatigues, skullies and binoculars, c4, block your doors, niggas can't stop this war, i show you faggots what this swatz is for! hiding spots in the door for the glocks is for, read the papers, eighteen thirty four, i took the whig party to war, only reason you switchin up is cause you keep gettin robbed, i looked that nigga in the eyes before i send him to god. william henry harrison, the realest nigga alive.
shit man, i'm out.

http://www.visitingdc.com/images/william-henry-harrison-picture.jpg

wm shabazz.

― ethan, Thursday, May 2, 2002 5:00 PM

lol!

Not quite the original GIF, sadly, but that's not on the White House site anymore.

oh god

Well already I'm very pleased with the nonchalant approach to the absurd evident in Pynchon's writing-style. I've heard it scales astonishing heights of intense and comic intricacy. Sounds fab. Will get on the case as soon as I get home tomorrow.

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 17:33 (2 weeks ago) Link

HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT MAKING THINGS I LIKE SOUND TERRIBLE

-- bernard snowy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 03:09 (9 hours ago) Link

Not quite the original GIF, sadly, but that's not on the White House site anymore.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, August 28, 2010 9:45 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark

might finally turn me against obama tbh

Ned In N.Y.C.

The new Sparks is out and all you crass indier than thou punks that think anything that's written by guys older than 30 aside from Stephin Merritt, who won't even be singing on that album or something, is automatically worth ignoring are already shown up as LAZY POSEURS by a band that has incorporated every musical twist, turn and trend of the past four decades fed through their own world view to create a series of albums that compact Western culture into a vice, destroy America while celebrating it and influenced everyone you love whether you know it or not.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, August 27, 2000 12:00 AM

HONOR THE SPARKS!

speaking of which, things started out calmly...

Don't forget the almighty Killing Joke, Doc, you hate them too! Hahaha....=) - Alex in NYC (the unapologetic Killing Joke fan)
― Alex in NYC, Monday, March 26, 2001 12:00 AM

alex doing a smiley face just seems so wrong for some reason.

Haha. I stand by my judgment.

I was (painfully) imagining you traipsing around with a giant, moundlike ass-tampon.

― Last night it was pullulating with (Michael White), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 6:55 PM (1 year ago)

Keely Smith was a smooth old jazz singer who was married to and worked with the mighty Louis Prima, until he caught her "performing s sex act on" (I can only think of one thing anyone would describe thus) an agent, I think it was.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, May 18, 2003 5:39 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the version of that story i heard had this guy doing it w. keely & then he became aware of someone LICKING HIS BALLS, he turned round & Louis Prima punched him in the face

― duane, Sunday, May 18, 2003 5:58 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

best breakup story evah!
― M Matos (M Matos), Sunday, May 18, 2003 6:01 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark

Please notify all people on this site, that they can't just abuse artists and get away with it....

― marissa marchant, Tuesday, August 2, 2005 12:06 PM

Yeah you pathetic FUCK i *am* a hippie and YOU are a moron, and I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel, make a dinner that makes your mouth water, and jump hoops around all the lame supermodels you jack off to.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, August 15, 2003 5:34 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

The judge then proceeded to smack the bartender about the head with the gin bottle while shouting, "This is how you make a martini! Got it? Got it, you little fuck? I'll kill you, motherfucker; kill you with my bare hands!" Truly we will never see a grander person than this.

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Please notify all people on this site, that they can't just abuse artists and get away with it....

― marissa marchant, Tuesday, August 2, 2005 12:06 PM

The interesting thing about Marissa was that she posted so much and so rapidly that you could pinpoint the exact times that her meds took effect and wore off.

I've just downloaded "Answering Machine." I find that the guitar riff in between the lines in the verses is, in fact, not absolutely heartbreaking. Could it be that I just downloaded the wrong remix? Furthermore, the singer is bleaurghiriffic. Maybe there's something about the shame of having spiky hair which forces guys to overemote.
How does one say "I'm Lonely" to an answering machine? Easy. I've done it *lots* of times.

Michael Daddino, Saturday, February 17, 2001 1:00 AM

If you think Richard Harris is overwrought but *Astral Weeks* isn't, you're living in denial.
But that's OK. Overwrought is O.K., though I think its overwroughtness undercuts the claims of metaphysical signifigance that folks like Lester Bangs have given the LP. I mean, how moved can I be by such a spectacularly bizarre artifact? Intimations of deviance set to arrangements as fruity and free as wild blackberries, and as sad and lovely as a sigh. But when listening to it, I spend my time more awestruck by its peculiarity than thinking of its loveliness. And Van's voice...oh baby. Listening to it now, I'm amazed how, when I was a kid, I didn't notice Van's library of embarrassing vocalisms. Think of the human voice at its most artless -- constipation, gargling sugar-free chocolate milk, getting your hand caught in the car door, PeeWee Herman imitations, especially good orgasms, you name it -- and chances are you'll find its vocal analog on *Astral Weeks.* It's his voice and the way some songs meander when they stray away from the bedrock structural certainties of the blues that makes some of this sui generis weirdness stumble into the land of godawful doily-edged beatnik poetry. (Could Leadbelly or Otis Redding have sung it all better, then?)

So in sum, classic, but its canonical status might prevent you from seeing just how intriguingly "unclassic" it is.

― Michael Daddino, Saturday, May 19, 2001 12:00 AM

GYMNASTICS RULES

jonny ure cool caitlyn lees

― ck 4 life, Sunday, April 13, 2003 1:00 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I was crushing on old-school Hillary Clinton (in her Twenties) -- probably because she resembles my supremely attractive friend Erin (who, despite liking me, is with someone else right now and so she's horribly unattainable). Goodness gracious, I'm an absolute sucker for blondes these days. But after dropping by a bookstore yesterday where my long-time friend Molly (who is not a blonde, mind you) works -- oh goodness, she's always stunning but yesterday I really wanted to pounce on her because she looked so exceptionally scrumptious (without even trying!) and was just so bubbly and charming. I wanted to playfully tackle her behind the counter and from there on it would've been wonderfully inappropriate! Anyhow, she's invited me along to dinner and some other event with a group of her friends on Friday -- it's not a date essentially, but at heart I wouldn't mind if it twisted into one. Ooh, I just remembered that she complimented my appearance! No-one ever does that! Squee! Cuddlestein Mountain! Nuvvieworld! Okay, I'm just getting ridiculous -- I'm just excited because it's a prospect to escape social poverty with a possible hint of romance. I'm probably being too optimistic; I can't help it! I've wanted something to look forward to!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, August 16, 2005 2:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ that post was great with the jar Jar Binks translator!

squeesa

if ilx was like the rest of the internet it would be a fucking improvement
― bato (bato), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:02 (4 years ago) Bookmark

This one girl in college, just randomly went down on the ol' brazole one night. Didn't even say a word to me. My response to the deed "your gonna get fucked now". She obliged.

-- Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, July 23, 2003 5:06 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Hehe, Marcello. That's just what doomie said! You guys should hang out.
Deal. Enjoy wallowing in your anger, ignorance and hatred. You waste. You little man.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, May 27, 2004 10:51 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

as far as tits go, bigger is better. my gf has two round robust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially the ones that are all nipple. my cock too is a thing to behold. my gf measured it at 8.5 in of dark brown veiny mexican cock. uncut, of course. it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. but she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong. i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me. i'm blessed with a flaccid cock measuring almost 7 inches. most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies. i have a snake. thank u very much!

― stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 4:50 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

crüt, you beat me to that I R-M post by a couple of minutes.

ladies and gentlemen ... burt stanton

Argh, it's not "beef with her!" That's like saying someone has beef with a unicorn. Chaki doesn't have beef with unicorn. He's just pointing out that it's actually a horse with something taped to its head.

― nabisco, Monday, October 15, 2007 6:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha forgot that one

all time