In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

"hetal metal"

if we are doing vanity posts then i think this is the only thing i've ever said on ilx that is worthy of me being here

re: merriweather post pavillion

sounds like Too $hort

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, December 12, 2008 5:32 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Too $hort if he only pimped out angels.

― a hoy hoy, Friday, December 12, 2008 5:33 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I used to spend a lot of time at this Jazz coffeehouse in Jax FL circa 1993, and I befriended all the rock dudes who were in the Jazz program at UNF.

Eventually, we'd vaguely talk about forming a band over pre-bedtime breakfasts. They all wanted to do what they called "heavy groove". I had no idea what specifically that was, but they cited Rage Agianst..., of course. They all knew I had a little rap career a few years prior - after a while they'd look to me and say "you know, it'd be cool if you rap on it." I'd laugh it off and say "no one wants to hear rapping on Rock music...oh, wait, Rage. Nevermind."

I always thought they were being half assed and somewhat joking. I never flat out said no, but it was pretty clear I wan't into the idea.

Eventually, the coffehouse closed down and I went my way, never taking the idea of their band serious. I bumped into one of the guys about a year later and he said "hey, we actually decided to have someone rap over our band since you weren't so into it. He's a tattoo guy named Fred."

Ladies and gentlemen, Limp Bizkit.

-- PappaWheelie (pappawheeli...), July 25th, 2005.

and to think we all could have been hating papa wheelie all these years.

PappaWheelie directing Ice Cube in family movies.

BIll PAYNE MOTHERFUCKER BILL PAYNE!!!!!
― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 04:20 (5 years ago) Permalink

okay, i'[m a little drunk. they gave me chills.
― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 04:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

SHAUN MURPHY KICKS MOTHERFUCKIN' ASS!! DUDE, SHE IS STONEY OF STONEY AND MOTHERFUCKIN' MEATLOAF FAME!!!
― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 04:33 (5 years ago) Permalink

GOODNIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!
― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 04:34 (5 years ago) Permalink

(reluctantly edited out the "SELECTED MOTHERFUCKIN' LITTLE FEAT DISCOGRAPHY" portion)

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this:

fuck tom and his nu style of banning whatever he wants whenever he wants (sans admin log)

hey.. if i was a dude in his 30's, post failed marriage from an ilx chick, in a dead end job that never got laid, and had barely any irl friends i would love anonymously modding ilx too...

basically: this is the only thing dude has control of in his life.

even when he gets drunk he spends his time modding ilx. kinda sad.
fine.

you can say 6000 registered ilxors were good today but one of them that was actually totally cool, brought the lols and was a solid dude got banned for no reason was enough for me to say "fuck this shit"

tom millar obviously loves the "this is the thread where i say"
style of pussy ass bullshit posts that make ilx terrible. just see idiot thread board for that bullshit. its basically the same 4 ilxors talking about their bullshit lives that no one asked about plus tom telling us how wasted he is.

its like an episode of sex in the city with tom and ned adding in there 2 cents once in a while. wow what bunch of lols.

im not one to make a big post about leaving but fuck this shit. for reals. im leaving for gershy who is a real bro and "GOD FORBID!!!!" bumped threads that already existed....

this board is now just a bunch of rich college kids and dumb fat bitches (lets get real.... even the actual rock stars that post here are academic morons.) that wanna talk about the politics of messenger bags and facebook profiles. obviously tom wanted this. you can tell by his "dudes im totally wasted!" posts all over the dumb ass molify lingbert thread. so hay! you got what you wanted, tom!

i hope your life of never getting laid by anyone other than ally and being stuck in a dead end job is finally giving you what you wanted in life. everyone hates you btw. but hey as long as you rule who gives a fuck right?

― chaki, Thursday, May 29, 2008 7:47 PM (2 years ago)

oh patopaws...

September 16, 2005

Ain't got love for those crackers, no motherfuckin' white jackers, no motherfuckers comin down tryna snatch us up.

The Rakes - "Retreat"
The Rakes - "Work Work Work (Pub, Club, Sleep)"

- As Jeezy would say, THHAAAAAT'S RIGHT! It was time for New New York to peep game on the folks from the Screwed Up Clique and they took it to our Yankee asses with style and grace (for the most part). Good lookin' out to all the bols and jawns that came through to chip in their hard earned skrilla for the Red Cross and pour out a little purple drank for the late great Richard Davis Jr, the Sultan of Syrup.

- E.S.G. and Lil Keke took the stage with some bass-heavy jawns (not sure on the names) spun by Texan DJ Rapid Ric and absolutely murdered the place, shining brighter than Paul Wall's teeth in a tanning bed. Shit was hectic. Bols and jawns from all races, ethnicities, creeds, religions, hoods were booty-shakin' all over the place and really turning it into a regular ol' heatrock.

- The rest of the night was un-noteworthy. H.A.W.K. and Lil O put on a fluid show but were bogged down in misogynist, racist heckling of the audience. Would you guys have called the supervisor at a job interview a "hot vanilla piece of ass over by the bar" or compared her unfavorably to Chelsea Clinton and suggest she needed to "suck a little dick tonight"? Real professional, guys. But I forgot you've never had to get a real job. I can get down with all that "machismo" bullshit sometimes but not when my lady is in the crowd. I dunno. I try not to think about this shit, but in this case it’s just too noticeable and very, very lame.

- Bun B was a big teddy bear and granted me an exclusive after the show, breaking out his iPod Nano and playing me his new collabo with M.I.A. with the boy Dizzee Rascal pon di remix. Two words: bonafide heatrock. We traded AIM names and he says he might be able to lace me with his baile funk-inspired track featuring JR Writer (Dyyip-SUTTTTT) and produced by a mystery producer. Heh. I'll let you boys figure that one out for yall's selves.

- Any and ways! Peep game on Big Bro 6: Linkage.

― yeshua, Sunday, September 11, 2005 1:35 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

sure jbr, not in mixed company because of the reactions of people like sterling, but yeah its just another piece of rap slang, i dont tell my grandmother her macaroni is off the motherfucking chain either but if im with hiphop people sure no big deal

gah sterling got in while i was posting, one moment dude!!

― s trife (simon_tr), Monday, October 14, 2002 1:40 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

come back to us E

weirdly I was introducing a non-ILX friend to the complete works of luriqua the other night

tbh he's the best and I'm not having it any other way

p.s. LOL SORRY I RUINED UR BLOG AND SENT U GAY MP3S

C+

SC - theifyoudontagreewithmeyoushouldbebannedelite, dig?
im getting bored of the whole variant question/same answer routine, so heres a little play for you all i call "Equally possible ILE threads: Two threads in two acts" (Pls allow for some creative license ie the unlikelyhood of the party in act two)

Act 1, Thread 1:

My neighbours are having a party again! Its loud!
-- Bee 1

Im SO sorry, Bee 1! How dreadful. *hugs!*
-- Bee 2

OMG!! They should burn in hell! Call the cops. Take it to the city. Youve got rights!
-- Bee 3

Yeah, but you don't have an apostophe. :P
-- HotGrammarCop (imustbeintelligentbecauseicanpunctu✧✧✧@mommysai✧✧✧.o✧✧)

Show up at their door with a knife!
Better still...AN AXE!
-- Bee 4

LOL!!!!1!11 OMG You should totally do that.
-- Random Kiss Ass

Act 2, Thread 2:

Someone showed up at my door with an axe last night! I was having a party!
-- Bee 1

Im SO sorry, Bee 1! How dreadful. *hugs!*
-- Bee 2

OMG!! They should burn in hell! Call the cops. Take it to the city. Youve got rights!
-- Bee 3

Yeah, but you don't have an apostophe. :P
-- HotGrammarCop (imustbeintelligentbecauseicanpunctu✧✧✧@mommysai✧✧✧.o✧✧)

You should have another party next weekend!
Better still...A LOUDER PARTY!
-- Bee 4

LOL!!!!1!11 OMG You should totally do that.
-- Random Kiss Ass

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Monday, July 25, 2005 9:23 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Let's do it! I think the Snagglepuss thing is funny because a) the word Snagglepuss (with its vague gestures towards Snuffleupagus) is funny sounding, more over, drawing on that association, Snuffleupagus is a character that only Big Bird can see, but then b) That in the face of Miss Hoover challenging Ralph's ability to perceive reality, Ralph doesn't protest but simply states matter-of-factly that the Snagglepuss was urinating outside. He isn't offended by the suggestion that he hallucinates, if anything, the reference only evokes his memory of that moment. He's totally unable (LIKE MANY PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD) to derive the context of Miss Hoover raising that memory -- ie: to prove he's untrustworthy.

― Mordy, Wednesday, April 28, 2010 2:58 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark

a) the word Snagglepuss (with its vague gestures towards Snuffleupagus) is funny sounding,

this post with its non-vague ability to make me smack my head

― brad whitford's guitar explorations (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:01 PM

*Are* you stoned, Mordy? Snag & Snuffy v 2 difft peeps.

― Walter Melon (Abbott), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:01 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark

yeah uh mordy you do realize that snagglepuss is a thing right

xxposts

― Crazed semantic nattering! That's where I'm a viking! (jjjusten), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:02 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

.... Mordy, you know that Snagglepuss is an actual cartoon character right

multiple xposts but still

― Marriage, that's where I'm a Viking! (HI DERE), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:02 PM (3 months ago)

Oh yeah, Snagglepuss is the pink tiger guy, right? (Is really stoned atm actually.)

― Mordy, Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:03 PM (3 months ago)

Your search - snaslepuss snuffleuppaguis - did not match any documents.

― Walter Melon (Abbott), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:03 PM

I had major stomach pains this morning, so I self-medicated early on :'(

― Mordy, Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:03 PM (3 months ago)

Exit pursued by a bong

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:03 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ILX SNAGGLEPUSS HISTORICAL PRESERVATION SOCIETY OUT IN FULL EFFECT

― Crazed semantic nattering! That's where I'm a viking! (jjjusten), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:04 PM (3 months ago

I'm hungry. :(

― Mordy, Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:07 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark

bet you wanna eat like a viking

― vikings: name your reasons why they are so bad and hated (call all destroyer), Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:08 PM (3 months ago)

(My personal favourite set-piece from the Ralph/Viking epic thread)

"The internet's so full of phonies I can't stand to look at it for more than three goddam seconds, if you want to know the truth. When I get out of here I'm not even going to own a computer. I swear to God I won't. About the only thing I like is that damn ilXor.com. I've killed around three hundred hours of my goddam life reading that crazy site. They can be pretty immature there. I like it, though. I really do. 'Urgent and key.' That kills me. I like that old pinefox."

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Monday, December 30, 2002 2:04 AM (7 years ago

wheres the dom passantino itt

fat chance of that happening

get it

wheres the dom passantino itt

― NOT FUNNY NEEDS MORE GUCCI (deej), Saturday, August 28, 2010 7:37 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fat chance of that happening

― Prime Minister Dougal McGuire (King Boy Pato), Saturday, August 28, 2010 9:11 AM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark

Please tell me that last line was your personal touch.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:17 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Nick Crowe was the drummer for the rock band Gay Dad

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:17 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
(x-post, but, really, I could copy and paste that all day)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:18 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
can someone provide the clif's notes please.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:18 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
or tell me what it sez in a sentence. it isn't just: Rap is bad. is it?

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:19 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Why do people who played in the assiest of ass-end of ass bands set themselves up like this?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:20 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
A very long joke but what a punchline.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:20 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Let's play "count the sentences of submerged racism".

― John Fortune, Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:21 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
relayed back to the people who matter tales of white trash culture and the junk diet upon which it subsists.

Um....okay, i could be here all day. i don't know if it's worth it.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:22 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
In summary:

"Nick Crowe was the drummer for the rock band Gay Dad"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:25 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Don't worry charlie, LBZC will mock any woman who isn't pneumatic in a Nuts way.

― Ed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 11:57 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just would ike to point out that when I met Kate St. Clair in person, in real life, in a london pub, she came off exactly the fucking insane homeless bonkers bag lady archetype I thought she would. I vote hard to the left but I don't suffer a fool for very long. I suspect the rest of the FAP crowd felt sorry for me while I endured your lecture on the Masonic conference rooms of London, but I've learned my lesson not to speak for others. To cover my own sentiments, how about a big FUCK YOU YOU'RE PRETTY STUPID. Congrats on getting to open for an overrated pack of 40something talentless bithces that one time, that is something the rest of us will never get to do.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:43 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also I hate you and think you're an imbecile.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:44 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(sorry)

so hardbody

I didn't even notice this had been revived this week but
TS: Denny Lethargy VS. Denny Vertigo

did Tombot have a hot chick waiting in bed while he posted that?

something the internet has been reminding me of on a pretty regular basis for the past almost-7 years:

It's what makes the Internet wanky because everyone half-brainy who gets online thinks this after six months, "Whoa now I am in a decentered postmodern environment where anonymity is king, I will radically explore online perceptions of the self etc etc." and after another six months you realise your conceptual online art project is actually just you being a dick to people and stop it.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 26 September 2003 11:02 (6 years ago)

on a snappier note, too bad I can't find the original "leaving the house requires one part sunshine, one part pants, and two parts will to live" strongo post

Time to wipe JIZZLIKE SVEN off T-SHIRT. now hire SIR TREVOR BROOKING, knighted by the Queen herself, former England HERO. Does Sweden even have a MONARCHY?
― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, May 9, 2006 8:01 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

― shaggy (mark grout), Thursday, 6 July 2006 06:42 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

we are all winners when a thread is revived

― gershy, Saturday, March 8, 2008 3:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

I take you out to the finest resturant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers, I'll buy your ass a rose
But later on your coming out them pantie hose
You want gold, girl whats next
It's me and you, doing the sex

― jergïns, Monday, 30 July 2007 08:54 (3 years ago)

Cunt.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 29 December 2003 13:26 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sorry i am a dick!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Saturday, 15 November 2003 12:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thegardencentre: WHERE YOU FROM?
thegardencentre: WHAT YOU ON?
thegardencentre: SORRY MATE I FORGOT YOUR NAME AGAIN
thegardencentre: SOUND
Ronan909: MAD
thegardencentre: NISH
thegardencentre: CLISH
thegardencentre: DOUBLE TOP
thegardencentre: SORTED
thegardencentre: SOUND
thegardencentre: FUCK YOU RONAN FITZGERALD
thegardencentre: JUST FUCK YOU
thegardencentre: FUCKING SOUND
Ronan909: YOU YOU YOU FUCK
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: FUCKING NISH AND CLISH AND FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ronan909: NICE ONE MAN, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK YOU YOU FUCK OFF YOU, SOUND
thegardencentre: NICE JACKET YOU FUCKING FUCK
Ronan909: BAD BASTARD-fuck you you you, SOUND.
thegardencentre: THIS PILL IS GREAT YOU FUCKING FUCKER
Ronan909: i got a new jacket actually
Ronan909: thanks
Ronan909: ARE YOU ON ONE
Ronan909: FUCKFACE
thegardencentre: hahah
Ronan909: WHERE YOU FROM, WHATS YOUR NAME AND
Ronan909: FUCK OFF OUT OF MY FACE
Ronan909: hahaha
Ronan909: IM BUZZING HERE, CAN YOU FUCK OFF
Ronan909: I FEEL AMAZING, PLEASE JUST FUCK OFF YOU DICK
Ronan909: thats actually what voib killer parties are
thegardencentre: I FEEL FUCKING ACE YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE
Ronan909: YOU DICK
Ronan909: ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING TOGETHER IS SO COOL
Ronan909: ALL THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES
thegardencentre: DO YOU WANT SOME OF ME WATER YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
Ronan909: THE DJS GOOD
thegardencentre: IVE GOT SOME SPARE CHEWING GUM TWATFACE
Ronan909: WHAT A MUPPET
thegardencentre: HE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF THE KNOB
Ronan909: HERE HAVE ANOTHER PILL, YOU FUCKING TWAT

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, March 11, 2003 11:19 PM (7 years ago)

can someone find the william henry harrison rap????

Ah, very good call:

--

what you think thirty three in the glock is for?! black fatigues, skullies and binoculars, c4, block your doors, niggas can't stop this war, i show you faggots what this swatz is for! hiding spots in the door for the glocks is for, read the papers, eighteen thirty four, i took the whig party to war, only reason you switchin up is cause you keep gettin robbed, i looked that nigga in the eyes before i send him to god. william henry harrison, the realest nigga alive.
shit man, i'm out.

http://www.visitingdc.com/images/william-henry-harrison-picture.jpg

wm shabazz.

― ethan, Thursday, May 2, 2002 5:00 PM

lol!

Not quite the original GIF, sadly, but that's not on the White House site anymore.

oh god

Well already I'm very pleased with the nonchalant approach to the absurd evident in Pynchon's writing-style. I've heard it scales astonishing heights of intense and comic intricacy. Sounds fab. Will get on the case as soon as I get home tomorrow.

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 17:33 (2 weeks ago) Link

HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT MAKING THINGS I LIKE SOUND TERRIBLE

-- bernard snowy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 03:09 (9 hours ago) Link

Not quite the original GIF, sadly, but that's not on the White House site anymore.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, August 28, 2010 9:45 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark

might finally turn me against obama tbh

Ned In N.Y.C.

The new Sparks is out and all you crass indier than thou punks that think anything that's written by guys older than 30 aside from Stephin Merritt, who won't even be singing on that album or something, is automatically worth ignoring are already shown up as LAZY POSEURS by a band that has incorporated every musical twist, turn and trend of the past four decades fed through their own world view to create a series of albums that compact Western culture into a vice, destroy America while celebrating it and influenced everyone you love whether you know it or not.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, August 27, 2000 12:00 AM

HONOR THE SPARKS!

speaking of which, things started out calmly...

Don't forget the almighty Killing Joke, Doc, you hate them too! Hahaha....=) - Alex in NYC (the unapologetic Killing Joke fan)
― Alex in NYC, Monday, March 26, 2001 12:00 AM

alex doing a smiley face just seems so wrong for some reason.

Haha. I stand by my judgment.

I was (painfully) imagining you traipsing around with a giant, moundlike ass-tampon.

― Last night it was pullulating with (Michael White), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 6:55 PM (1 year ago)

Keely Smith was a smooth old jazz singer who was married to and worked with the mighty Louis Prima, until he caught her "performing s sex act on" (I can only think of one thing anyone would describe thus) an agent, I think it was.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, May 18, 2003 5:39 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the version of that story i heard had this guy doing it w. keely & then he became aware of someone LICKING HIS BALLS, he turned round & Louis Prima punched him in the face

― duane, Sunday, May 18, 2003 5:58 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

best breakup story evah!
― M Matos (M Matos), Sunday, May 18, 2003 6:01 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark

Please notify all people on this site, that they can't just abuse artists and get away with it....

― marissa marchant, Tuesday, August 2, 2005 12:06 PM