In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

otm

Here we go:

Perhaps it's something to do with the fact that people always seem to expect me to like him, and are always shocked when I say "actually, no". Ditto Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Charlatans et al.

I can just see their glassy-eyed incomprehension as they gaze - perhaps understanding for the first time just what kind of maverick they're dealing with here - upon the face of a man who plays by nobody's rules. The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan is dangerous to know, he's some unnameable dark force of chaos, a tornado twisting through the Mojo offices sending their clipping files into the Thames. He's the man who saw right through it all and said, "I listened to half a side of Blood on The Tracks, and I didn't like it." That's all it took for The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan to become the legend he is today. Some say they met him in their high school art class and he sported a spiderweb tattoo and was a big Corrosion of Conformity fan. Others say he drove a van and was "really into reggae but not that Marley shit, strickly dub roots, maaaaaan". Others say they heard The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan doing the overnight show on an Ivy League campus radio station playing Woody Guthrie and Phil Ochs. Some say TMWDLD was their own dad - and that he gave away his old copy of Blonde on Blonde when he got a cd player saying "he was never much of a guitar player, no Santana that's for sure." He's somewhere out on the highway right now drifting from town to town with eyes steel-grey and impenetrably deep, hunting like a great white wonder for some poor kid in a coffee shop - so easy to spot with their unkempt curly locks and dark sunglasses - some poor sapsucker who swallowed it hook line and sinker. The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan is here and things will never be the same for any of us, anywhere.

― fritz, Sunday, April 28, 2002 8:00 PM Bookmark

get smooved

Wasn't that basically lifted from The Onion?

i dunno, probably. it just popped up on random threads and i hadnt seen it before

Ned, thank you, that Joy Division vs. Flipper post is one for the ages.

all of the mp3's i've gotten have been off of slsk
big up to all the ilx'ers who've helped

fuck off to shithead ilx'ers who ban people

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, July 30, 2003 7:16 PM

I can change my anus to shit in all shapes/lengths/sizes ! I´ma shit-artist!

― I have a triangular anus, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 04:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

darraghmac wrote this on thread Football is a bloated corrupt game that has lost its soul. on board I Love Everything on 30-Aug-2007

jol out

Nasty, Brutish & Short wrote this on thread Real Estate bubble bust may be worse than Dot Com bubble bust on board I Love Everything on 21-Jan-2008

Jol out!

That one guy that hit it and quit it wrote this on thread Euro 2008 on board I Love Everything on 21-Nov-2007

jol out

Herman G. Neuname wrote this on thread Euro 2008 on board I Love Everything on 13-Jun-2008

jol out?

Chopper Aristotle (Matt DC) wrote this on thread Can anything stop Cameron becoming the next PM? on board I Love Everything on 18-Nov-2008

Jol out.

Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics) wrote this on thread Seinfeld: "Whaaaat's the deeeeeeeeal with rape?" on board I Love Everything on 09-Dec-2008

Jol out

Matt DC wrote this on thread Ken vs. Boris: It's So On on board I Love Everything on 01-May-2008

Jol out.

darraghmac wrote this on thread Liverpool still won't win the premiership (2007/08 edition) on board I Love Everything on 17-Aug-2007

jol out.

Dom Passantino wrote this on thread Liverpool still won't win the premiership (2007/08 edition) on board I Love Everything on 26-Apr-2008

Jol out.

darraghmac wrote this on thread Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven on board I Love Everything on 16-Oct-2007

jol out.

Search Again... Next...

in bed, with blankets over my lower half, wearing a t-shirt and stretched burgundy underwear, with my laptop (heavy, warm) on my chest, playing minesweeper and listening to cbc overnight on radio 1 (hourlong chops of public radio world service feeds from around the world from midnight to four thirty so soothing foreign accents and always about coral reefs or german parliamentary politics or the united nations and israel)-- switch on the lamp and take out my retainer and turn off the radio and get my headphones from beside my bed and roll back into position and switch the lamp off and plug the headphones in and. jerk off to one of ten movies i've been jerking off to for six months, a year, headphones and in the dark-- mostly watching, not jerking off, the actual masturbation part is over quick and against the wall (get as little on the sheets as possible)(try to remember not to roll against it later). already have winamp ready and song selected (this one). because there is one minute after the whole thing, where i'm in a special state, where i have a feeling i never have, which is a mix between being really thirsty, like i just ate a bunch of pringles and my mouth is really dry and salty, and wanting, sort of, to be hugged. hard to describe. and i usually listen to whatever my favorite song then is but now it's only the ones i have on my laptop righ then but now it's only a woman's threat. there is no sadder song in the world. i lie in the dark, with my laptop screen folded down as low as it will go (if you close it all the way, it turns off or goes into some kind of standby mode) and just feeling my face crack like an egg and it's so relentless, so many beautiful, heartbreaking details. i think it's about a woman saying to a man that if he keeps fucking around, he's going to lose all of these things about her, all of these little things that -- i'm listening to it right now and crying out of my right eye i just soaked up the tears with a kleenex that was on the bed the chair is right beside a bed i'm in the spare bedroom -- are her and like it's just her life. but it just feels like so hopeless kind of but so happy too and how i feel i can't describe it fuck. i just wanted to see people write aboutit this song is so important to me. i didn't hear it a long time ago
― William Wiggins, Monday, March 1, 2004 1:50 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
YSI?
― mclaugh (mclaugh), Tuesday, February 8, 2005 12:35 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Any chance of a YSI?
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, April 3, 2005 4:02 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Never heard... care to post a YSI?
― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, April 18, 2005 10:25 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

YSI?
― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, May 2, 2005 4:32 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

ni**a please, i'm not even near the same league of douchebag as ol' baldy head.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 31 March 2005 03:00 (4 years ago)

Why did you use asterisks? DID YOU NOT WANT TO GET CAUGHT?!?!?! OMG GOOGLE FOR NIGGA AND FIND JOREL

― bro dudely (deangulberry), Thursday, 31 March 2005 03:03 (4 years ago)

really hope i was being hilarious there

probably, as i have no idea what that album is

I get it

despite the joking nature of this thread i really did see damo suzuki's naked penis.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)

and re. damo's circumcision status:

and he was about to pee so it couldve been pulled back if he was.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Some guys don't do that, you know. It's like a personal preference thing.

― matthew m., Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no matt i didnt know that, because you dont talk to me about uncut penises nearly enough.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c) wrote this on thread "A small thread with a small mentality" - Liverpool and Man City won't win the Premiership 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 9, 2010

Daniel Sturridge went to Chelsea?!?!?!?!?

Space Battle Rothko (Matt DC) wrote this on thread Lost Season 6 - RE: LA X on board I Love Everything on Feb 16, 2010

Sturridge has gone to Chelsea.

quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Hang on, what division are Northwich Victoria in? The FA Cup, 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 24, 2010

sturridge moved to chelsea too xp

quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Hang on, what division are Northwich Victoria in? The FA Cup, 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 24, 2010

sturridge gone to chelsea too iirc

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Great Real Names on board I Love Everything on Mar 26, 2010

before or after sturridge to chelsea?

ailsa wrote this on thread Great Real Names on board I Love Everything on Mar 26, 2010

Has Sturridge gone to Chelsea?

show me your buccina (ken c) wrote this on thread The Human LOLipede: First EXCELSIOR on board I Love Everything on May 19, 2010

wait. daniel sturridge went to chelsea????

May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Thread of random football team formations you just invented on board I Love Everything on May 26, 2010

daniel sturridge just joined chelsea

slow motion hair ruffle (onimo) wrote this on thread WORLD CUP 2010 on board I Love Everything on Jun 21, 2010

& Sturridge has gone to Chelsea

Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac) wrote this on thread WORLD CUP 2010 on board I Love Everything on Jun 21, 2010

goal, and d sturridge to chelsea too

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this:

(deleted the rest because, basically, no-one actually needs to read it)

how are you dooding becky. im dooding good. i liked your story. heres mine won too. wonce time i was bye the noizy waters. dooding a swim with fred too. and my number2 time had got there too. becos my body is a human body and not jusd the top part is. bottum part is too. when i was at kfc. they tolded me and fred about kfc had the bathroom to goed to. there was the drawings onned the doors. kfc dooded them when he waasnt bulding the mashped potatos i bet. i doodnt no which drawed thing i was. so i told my bowl movement to go to sleep. right their inned my bottum too. and it dooded it too. after kfc time. we went fored the swim. and the bowl movement woke upped like a waking won. then i felt like a sneaking won. becos i had to putted it inned the unright place jusd like a rudd won. i putted my hands over eyes so jeesus couldnt see me going fored a number2. i letted it out and said bye. then i got a feel on the leg parts. thought it was a fish won too. becos they like to dood a swim too wonce times. but it wasnt them wons. it was a bowl movement. i bet it was mine too. becos a fish won would be liteller. i swimmed away from that won. but the wave things sent it after me. then i swimmed away like a smart won. but it goed for me again. then i was neared fred. fred saw the bowl movement and cried too. becos he got scared of the bowl movement dooding a chase. he dood the cry when the mashped potatos go cold too. but i dont becos i give them the eats anyhow they are. ill be better careful next time. ill find out which drawing is fored me. do you know which drawing you are. i bet.

― T✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧, Tuesday, January 28, 2003 12:14 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man

Listen up all you punk motherfuckers, I don't give a fuck about answering your pointless questions, I'm writing you from a computer at a homeless shelter in Naples, Florida to tell you punk was never dead, I was just drunk and passed out in a gutter somewhere and now that I'm back, so's the old school gutterpunk sound and lifestyle. I was living on the streets fucked up by a combination of drugs, alcohol and Sid's ghost possessing me, but now that I'm sober and on a year supervised probation, I'm feeling pretty angry and shitty. So tell all your friends to listen up for my band, the SuicIdols, and to give me a shout out at smashref✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧ and my guitarist Gravedigger, who I met in Jail for doing just that, at dirtyp✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧. Keep the old school scene alive, you dirty bastards! See you on the streets, Smah

― scott gregory (smash), Saturday, February 21, 2004 10:47 PM (6 years ago)

britney can i get your sister email why because she look intersting

― NAthaniel, Monday, 12 April 2004 13:57 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

But when the music and mood warrant skill and spacial courtesy, I have no patience for the sweaty guys, always guys, that flail and whip their body around jokingly, doing the "lean way back and jiggle arms" move (touching their oily bastard of a head on my theretofore clean and unscented skin and clothing), or the eye-stabbing Travolta-pointing ("I'm so above all this silly, gay disco posturing, who cares! Look at me!"). Nothing fucks up my pussy game more than ironic dancers barging in on my space. Last night my shit was so tight early on that I had two hot-as-balls skeezers nearly elbowing each other to stay in front of me and I thought, "This is going to be a fresh evening". Leave it to a a big ironic-dancing geek who made faces all night to insinuate himself into our once-perfect trio with his exaggerated un-space-conscious grinding, stepping on my brushed suede lo-tops, tripping me up, and not even saying sorry.

― Le Coq, Monday, January 26, 2004 4:07 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Where is Marcello? Does he still post here?

ME SEEN NUFF OF U FASSYGEEK WITH TA MUCH TIME PLAYIN ON KEYBOARD WIT DEM PIECE OF SHIT LIKE DEM DILDO TING U GET FOR DEM INTANET POONTANG FLEX. U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT I SEEN DEM VIDEO WIT 2 CHICHI WIT REMOTE CONTROL DILDA FLEXIN EACH OTHER OVER NET.
LISTEN ME BREDRIN IM BEEN LONG TIME ON STRATFORD REX, MY BREDRIN RUDEBOY WESLEY TELL ME BOUT DEM CHICHI BOY LIKE YOU. TRY STEP TO ME ILL DICE U UP FASS.

DONT TEST EAST LONDON NIGGAZ TRUS YOU FASSYMAN DONT NAH NUTTIN U THINK BRIXTON HOME OF YARDA. ONLY YARDA BWOY DOWN THAT SLUM BE DEM HEROIN FASS DAT SO SKINNY FROM ALL DAT CHICHI SEX DAY HAVE.

SEN?

― HUNTA-D, Sunday, May 5, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I don't think anyone in Europe is qualified to accuse America of anti- semitism nowadays. Particulary someone so clearly pent up with rage and envy toward the working class joe down the street practicing "Eruption" and getting laid. Also, the term 'redneck' is fairly classist and bourgeois isn't it? But being from jolly ol' England (oi!) I don't suppose you'd have a problem with that. Cheerio!
― J Blount, Saturday, April 27, 2002 12:00 AM

I was going to c&p a hunta-d post!

YSI?
― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, May 2, 2005 4:32 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

― paul WS anderson (history mayne), Friday, August 27, 2010 5:38 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

really hope i was being hilarious there

― real s1ock (s1ocki), Friday, August 27, 2010 5:48 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

probably, as i have no idea what that album is

― real s1ock (s1ocki), Friday, August 27, 2010 5:48 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark

tbh it doesn't look like you were (intentionally); but otoh that was the first ever true 'ysi?' post and that deserves recognition

Ha, I remember those blount pwnt cman threads while they were happening, it was a blast to read them.

well, i suppose there's 3 stages to u2 isn't there?
the earnest stage, in, like the 80s, when they really meant it, and they rocked and all that stuff, and i don't even remember, just some ugly people on the tv. turn that over. boring. dud, of course they were dud. the 80s were grey and horrible, and they were grey and horrible for the simple reason that u2 were in them, dud dud dud.

the irony/postmodern thingy in the 90s, they didn't mean it anymore, they're only playing! "oh, we were pompous in the 80s, how silly we were' lets be as over the top as poss and subvert. irony, yeah!! no no no, dud again. is this phase more or less dud than the initial phase? can't decide.

now. they really mean it again. they're going to change the world with their big tuneful rock thats a bit pop too. and the pope likes them. and noel g too! dud, but not as dud as the other 2 phases. no wait, more dud.

aaargh, u2! the biggest dud of them all. but funny i guess.

so, dud then

― gareth, Thursday, March 29, 2001 12:00 AM

link to thread pls! the blountvscman one!

there were quite a few of them, as I remember. blount really got under cman's skin. I'll have a look.

um, i can find that one, hold on.

a G works with me and he sonned the hell out of me from 7:30 in the morning to 2:00 this afternoon, culminating at around 10:20. saw straight through me, deep through the bullshit. we were getting high and i started acting super-gay-crazy bitch-made devil-racist beast-mode and i accidentally painted an upside-down 7 on the wall and a cross then erased it!!!! WTF. all sorts of mystical negro type shit occurred that's too trippy to describe, and he told me my old girl realized i was crazy too and that's why we might never get along, and made me realize i never really got real situation or the finality of life never having brushed with death, like he was fucking the world and i was getting fucked, so he must experience it like the antithesis of tripping, and told me i'm an emo fucktard for not shaping up and getting pussy, and that it would be excusable if i were a real nerd. my fucking pot-hexed lack of memory is lapsing on 100 tons of hardrofl beyond zings. he also told me my age and height and birthday when i met him *:?

― luriqua, Thursday, September 6, 2007 11:44 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

✧✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧ wrote this on thread ENGLANDE on board I Love Everything on Apr 6, 2007

ENGLANDE WAS A MEDEVING PLACE THAT ROBIN HOOD AND FRYERE TUCK WERE BORN TO. IN ENGLANDE MEN AND BOYS WEARED TUNICS. TUNICS IS A EXTRA LARGE TSHIRT AND COVERS THERES PENISE BECOS THEY DIDNT INVENT UNDERPANTS YET IN ENGLANDE.

THEY INVETED OTHER THINGS THOUGH. THEY MADE THOSED TALL ROCKS ALL GO IN A CIRCLE. AND WHEN THEY HAVED TO GO THE BATHROOM. THEY LIFT UPPED THERE TUNICS AND GOTO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CIRCLE OF TALL ROCKS.
IT SMELLED BAD THERRE. BUT IT MADE ALOT OF SENSE. BECOS THEY DIDNT INVENT ANY TOILETS YET TOO. AND IF YOU CANT GOTO THE TOILET AND FLUSH. THEN ITS BETTER TO GOTO ONE SAME PLACE FOR THE BATHROOM INSTEAD OF ALOT OF DIFFERENT PLACE. FAR AWAY PEOPLE COULD SEE THOSED TALL ROCKS. AND THEY JUST KNOWED RIGHT OFF THE BATS THATS WHERE EVERYBODY WENT THE BATHROOM. JUST LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE IN THE FUTURE SEE A RESTROOM SIGN AND KNOW RIGHT OFF THE BAT THATS WHERE THEY DO THERRE DUTY.

IN MEDEVING ENGLAND. EVERYBODY WORE WOODEN SHOES THAT LOOKED LIKE BOATS.
THEY WERE MADE OF WOOD. WHENEVER THEY WENT TO THE TALL ROCKS. THEYD STEP
OVER ALL THE BATHROOM WASTES WEARING THERE BOATLIKE SHOES OF WOODE. MAYBE EVEN FRYERE TUCK AND ROBIN HOOD GOTO THE BATHROOM THERE WEARING
THERE WOODBOAT SHOES AND OLD BATHROOM TUNICS RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THAT TALL ROCKS IN THERE SPECIAL SPOTS.

SOMETIMES. WHEN IM GOTO THE BATHROOM WITH CONSTOPATION IN ME. I CLOSE MY EYES AND THINKE ME IM ROBIN HOOD OR FRYERE TUCK BACK THERE IN OLD TIME ENGLANDE. IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THAT TALL ROCKS. WITH MY WOODEN BOAT SHOES AND BATHROOM TUNIC ON. AND SOMEONES BLOWING A MEDEVING FLUTE SOMEWHERE AND WAITING THERE TURN GOTO THE BATHROOM. BUT THEN I REMEMBNER ITS JUST FRED AND HIS KAZOO.

I love how the photo is EVERYTHING bad about America all in one place: icky summer clothes, fat ankles, mirrored pseudo-Vuarnet shades, people wearing flag shit, spelling errors and misplaced patriotism. All worn by what appears to be an off-duty Embers management trainee.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 10 April 2006 13:39 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i dunno it was missing america's smug expatriate self-hatred of its own working class until now

― +++++, Monday, 10 April 2006 13:43 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

here ya go:

Britpop flops in U.S. o' A.

I TOTE A BAG FULL OF ONIONS WRAPT UP ON A MESH SACK
IF THEYRE GREEN I TURN THEM BROWN ON THE GRILL
IF THEYRE YELLOW I TURN THEM WHITE IN THE PAN

IN MY BED MY GIRL SERVES ME ONIONS FOR BREAKFAST
I GIVE HER A FUCKING NECKLACE MADE OF ONIONSKIN
SHE'S GREEN AND I'M PURPLE. WE HAVE SYPHALIS ONIONS CURE THAT

― usic, Saturday, 17 May 2008 05:38 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i hode interesting bracelet

― usic, Monday, 15 September 2008 03:08 (1 year ago)

bill magill, were you going to buy yourself cocaine, for christmas

― max, Thursday, 17 December 2009 20:08 (8 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and then snort it up your nose

― max, Thursday, 17 December 2009 20:08 (8 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Where is Marcello? Does he still post here?

― Duran (Doran), Friday, August 27, 2010 1:46 PM (15 minutes ago)

Doran: Happy Birthday ILX

all-time greatest luriqua quote imo:

ETHAN I AM ASHAMED MY RECENT POLITICAL FOLLIES HAVE HURT THE ADMINISTRATION'S REPUTATION. AS THE RIOTS HAVE FAILED TO DISPERSE MY PERSON IS ENDANGERED-- I HAVE SECURED AIR FORCE 2; MY GOLD, HOOKERS AND BLOW ARE SAFE IN THE CARGO HOLD AND THE ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF DISNEYLAND HAS AGREED TO HARBOR ME IN EXILE.

-- luriqua, Monday, August 27, 2007 8:16 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

ENGLANDE

Haha oh dear. The version Tombot and I did of this suddenly comes to mind.

omg or:

nabisco, for fucks sake, i don't want to live in some damned future where polemic cracker bullshit hasn't been resolved fully and permanently. i should know all of math, all the languages, etc, but capitalist creationist fuckmared my whole business because my parents had to work real hard to perpetuate a cycle of corpocratic nonsense that everyone's brainwashed into not realizing the world is a unified subject that shares thought

― Arms, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:50 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

AGENT OF JARVIK

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:51 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I don't know what that means or why my name precedes it

― nabisco, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:53 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he e-mailed me once to tell me to "have a nice Blood" and I considered purchasing a baseball bat to keep next to my door

― El Tomboto, Thursday, April 3, 2008 4:06 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

omg

Dreadful garbage. I assume Pavement is one of those bands that "sounds better on vinyl." because on CD its just all flat murk with no texture. A crummy band trying...and failing...at imitating the VU. They don't imitate Sonic Youth, Teenage Fanclub or Slint any better. Every time I see a review where some self-satisfied critic gives "Slanted and Enchanted" a five-star review, I get angry. What a waste of perfectly good resources. Hell, at least Guided by Voices are incompetent enough to be funny. Pavement is just dull...dull...dullllll......
― Lord Custos, Sunday, October 28, 2001 1:00 AM

Just a bit of fun, so lets be cool.

I am Lord Custos. You are not "cleared" to know more than that.
― Lord Custos, Wednesday, October 31, 2001 1:00 AM

thread needs Garu G imo

i feel liek thats the final step on the ilx journey: earnest music poster > stando ile person > sub bord mainstay > indecipherable one liners > sock master

― ice cr?m, Thursday, February 26, 2009 9:21 PM (1 year ago)

xpp
I'm a romantic Marissa

i don't have anything against it, myself. but the poignant beauty of ordinary humanity - the bathetic infatuation with clumsy frailty and endearing failure, as communicated by amateurish blankness and infantile affectation - has been exploited to death for decades by indie and post-indie and would-be-indie everything. in movies like juno and thumbsucker, on indie prints and greeting cards featuring awkward line drawings of birds (currently on sale in a bunch tiny shops on 5h in park slope), in back issues of mcsweeney's, in album after pitchfork-approved album of wounded & comforting soft sweater teatime glockenspiel music listened to, most likely, by someone you know and love. it's by no means an ineffective artistic stance: it works, communicates, gets a feeling across. but it's also so far beyond played that it's become a sickening zombie sham, a horrible cloud of kitsch that sucks the life out of everything it touches.

this hyundai ad is just the they live moment - the point at which the whole world gets to try on the glasses and see what's really been going down.

― carles marx (contenderizer), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 1:37 AM Bookmark

And why would anyone could think "super soak that ho" could have any other meaning than a playful water gun fight? I used to super soak hos all the time, and it was definitely platonic.

-- dabug, Monday, 21 January 2008

gotta be a sock

i thought as much when he reviewed the arcade fire

It's crap. More meaningless pabulum. Raise your standards.
― alex in nyc, Friday, September 7, 2001 1:00 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark

Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.

And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.

Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.

I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.

Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:38 AM (5 years ago)

now time DR DRE is made England boss. SLY SVEN has sent him hate mail saying "dre fell off". Dre has just been in THE LAB, with a PEN AND A PAD, trying to get his DAMN LABEL OFF.
When will BARWANK step down and allow proper Englishman PAUL WELLER to lead the FA away from EUROPHILE SCUM, REAMS OF RED TAPE.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, May 9, 2006 3:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so, for a million posts...

lol @ u arguing with a pizza hut product

― am0n, Friday, August 24, 2007 12:42 PM bookmarkflaglink

Predicting the brands-on-social-media future right there.

These posts are not all that funny, sorry.

Pvmic

"Your face will be a mashup" is probably my favourite thing that anyone has posted ever.

Pooping at your Significant Other's House within First 2 Months of Dating

ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww
ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww
ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww

― ahahaha eeww, Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:07 AM bookmarkflaglink

clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit

my wife got a gift certificate to this really clubbed out mall store. total euro trash clothing. she figured why not go look, maybe she can find something tastefull. she was trying on some jeans and she noticed some shiny bedazzled shit on the ass pockets. she said no thanks, but the salesperson said to her "no really. think of it like this. you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow and that guy notices. these pants are hot". she gave him back his pants and threw away the GC

― jaxon, Friday, June 17, 2011 2:10 PM bookmarkflaglink

i had forgotten about "you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow" and I'm smiling now that I remember it

i got fucked up to the day dimebag left this erth. its like why dimbag and not saddam? this planit is fucked up and its like god is a crul ringmaster
― animal, Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:31 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

Amazing.

there a bit rubbish themm like proper plop like a bum did a plop through your fingers and typed your script for youu what a load of plop
― john snowly, Saturday, August 27, 2005 11:46 AM bookmarkflaglink

I don't want to associate Geir with buttsex okay thx bye.
― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, April 14, 2004 1:09 PM bookmarkflaglink

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".
― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:05 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

― dayo, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:04 (thirteen years ago) link

"that situation guys sometimes run into" is an underrated part of this post

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".
― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:05 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

― dayo, Sunday, 29 August 2010 02:04 (thirteen years ago) link

"that situation guys sometimes run into" is an underrated part of this post

RT where do you live in the UK?

― out here like a flopson (tpp), Thursday, January 8, 2015 1:21 PM bookmarkflaglink

Realhiphopshire

― Οὖτις, Thursday, January 8, 2015 1:21 PM bookmarkflaglink

It occurred to me while listening to the radio tonight that "Summer of '69" is another one of these, despite the upbeat music.

― EveningStar (Sund4r), Friday, August 23, 2013 10:25 PM (twelve years ago)

The song is about being young and discovering sex. You need to look a bit deeper in the lyrics to find the meaning.

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled
Was the summer of '69

MEANING - he is talking about masturbation here. the six string is his "guitar" and the reference to 5 and dime refers to his hands (5 and 10 fingers). he "played it" till his fingers "bled" means he really got after it in that he masturbated so much it like hurt.

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit, Jody got married
Shoulda known, we'd never get far

MEANING - here he has discovered group masturbation. "had a band" refers to his little group "tried real hard" means they really went after it. two of his friends move on and they no longer do it. he seems a bit sad that they did not progress or "get far" which probably means he was looking for a little something more.

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenings down at the drive-in
And that's when I met you

MEANING - he keeps a positive attitude because he has a "job" to do meaning he needs to touch himself again. so he spent his nights at some "drive-in" and it is unclear here if he is talking about drive in movies that might very well be pornographic or he is talking about a drive in fast food place where he sits in the car watching.

Standin' on your mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

MEANING - once again he has found someone to masturbate with. apparently this person reaches climax faster than he does so they reassure him they will "wait forever" but wait what happens next ? that person then holds his "hand" (penis) and he knew he could no longer wait and climaxes - wow those were great times he thinks the best days of his life.

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no

MEANING - they were "killin' time" and were "young and restless" because they were basically bored and did not have cable television or the internet or anything so what did they do ? then "needed to unwind" meaning they needed to masturbate so that is how they killed time.

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I play that old six-string
Think about you wonder what went wrong

MEANING - they grow up and get older and he reflects on things that have "come and gone" but sometimes, probably when he is alone, he whips out "that old six-string" and thinks about his buddy or buddies.

Back in the summer of '69
Un-huh
It was the summer of '69, oh yeah
Me and my baby in '69, oh

MEANING - This is a reference to the sexual position "69" where two people come together for oral sex and resemble the letters 6 and 9 together. look at the number 69 and imagine two people facing each other but turned 180 degrees. the position allows for mutual direct access to each others sexual parts for mutual gratification. So there it is "the summer of 69" has nothing to do with 1969 it is basically a fond reflection on group masturbation.

― ship who you wanna ship (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, August 23, 2013 11:47 PM (twelve years ago)