ILM : The Top 100 Metal/Heavy Rock Tracks Of All Time - Presented By Our Host, Henry, ILM's Favourite Heavy Metal Dog! THE END IS NIGH! (FIN)

Mine is Blessed Black Wings. Im sure there will be at least one song from that popping up on this list.

Never heard this, or the band even, until now. Rather good, isn't it.

89. Sepultura - Territory: UGH... these vocals. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" ...sorry, I'll pass. D

88. Celtic Frost - I Won't Dance: I don't dislike this as much as the previous Celtic Frost track. That said, it still sounds entirely unremarkable. LOL at the backing vocals, for sure. C-

87. Slayer - War Ensemble: I prefer other Slayer tracks, this one's okay. Not generally into "thrashy" stuff, though. YouTube commenter says: "Justin bever can eat the assortment of nuts out of my shit" -- frankly, I'd rather play Bieber's "Baby" on repeat than "War Ensemble" -- sorry, Slayer. C+

87. Danzig - Mother: Now we're talking. I need to investigate into Danzig a bit more, this is great. Not sure why I haven't gotten into them already. Where do I start? Suggestions welcome... B+

86. Manilla Road - Necropolis: Never heard of these guys. Doesn't sound like I've been missing much. What the hell...? D-

Henry will be back online in just a few minutes, but he says that people should let him know if the linked youtubes dont work, because he refuses to look at them since "hair metal and posers are MTV's fault".

henry , bite ilxors baws (if he has any)

he will change his mind if pitchfork says they're ok though.

ilxor is the new ksh

henry do 57 im doing 56

86. Manilla Road - Necropolis: Never heard of these guys. Doesn't sound like I've been missing much. What the hell...? D-

Mark "The Shark" Shelton certainly polarises opinion with his "one of the seven dwarfs" vocal style

has henry escaped?

When is Henry going to take out ilxor?

have you seen ilxor around since?

Man, the low placing of You Shook Me hurts me to the core. My #2.

ilxor likes taylor swift, what id Henry's opinion of taylor swift?

Okay, I'm doing some more youtubes too.

Ozzy Osbourne – Crazy Train: kkvgz said that this felt played out, and I think that’s pretty much hitting the nail on the head. It’s alright, it’s a fair tune, but it doesn’t do anything that Ozzy hadn’t already done better before. You can tell it’s getting to the ‘80s more than a lot of the NWOBHM stuff, too.

Metallica – Whiplash: Don’t like Metallica, but I can just about deal with this. Except not at 2:57. Widdle widdle widdle. And then back. Was that a self-reference I just heard? “We will never quit, ‘cause we’re Metallica”? Well, at least they stick to their guns.

Funkadelic – Super Stupid: I couldn’t remember what this song sounded like during the voting period. Not my favourite Funkadelic track, but there are some bits that just shit on almost everything else on this list from a great height. Perhaps not entirely fair to compare them, but hell, this is more hard rock than ‘Motorcycle Emptiness’. Also, I get to enjoy some keyboards (yes, KEYBOARDS) for a change.

Black Sabbath – Children of the Grave: Had pretty much the same experience with this one as the Funkadelic track - love the band, couldn’t remember which song it was. This is a good one, but seeing as I voted for a stupid number of Sabbath tracks I don’t feel bad for not voting for it. Love that slow breakdown, though, and those clattery drums. Ooh, and the outro too.

Danzig – Dirty Black Summer: Okay, more Danzig. Some kind of doomy mysteriousness going on in this intro. Again, this is pretty much fine, but inconsequential. Also, he doesn’t pronounce anything in this one as amusingly as he does in ‘Mother’. Ah well, at least the video’s kind of funny. And yeah, as it goes on it just gets a bit more monotonous. Not so keen on this one.

Metallica – One: Haha, I was just about to say ‘no, please don’t make me watch this terrible shit’, but youtube has just told me this video is no longer available. I already know I hate this song, anyway.

Monster Magnet – Spacelord: This isn’t even remotely heavy rock! What the hell is doing here? Oh, okay, so there’s a little bit that increases in volume for ten seconds. Sorry, this is shitty blues-funk, it needs to be destroyed. Also, fucking hell that video. What a bunch of cocks.

57 Judas Priest · Victim of Changes (1976) (354 points · 7 votes - 1 number one vote)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKSU1W0ZUmQ

You have to respect a man who knows how to use a leash and collar. Maybe if he had a little time with Taylor Swift (wink wink!) she would learn not to suck so much.

(guys as an aside there is a lot that henry doesnt probably quite understand about uh human relationships so maybe let him maintain his innocence if possible. hes only 14 after all)

Henry, I think your owner might need to have a word with you when you're older and tell you something important..
xp

all this monster magnet hate saddens me even more than the celtic frost hate. Since Monster Magnets biggest influence is Hawkwind, I'm surprised she's so down on them :(

infact im tempted to just skip the next one in protest

no-one will never know what #56 was

My crybaby owner is just being a jerk because Rob Halford probably stole his girlfriend or something. One of these days Rob is going to come pick me up on his Harley and we're going to go cruise for chicks while my owner sits at home in the dark crying and eating potato chips.

Maybe she hadn't heard MM's early stuff. That "Powertrip" makes it easy to forget how awesome they were during the Spine Of God/Tab era.

"no-one will never know what #56 was"

Come on Herm. If Negasonic Teenage Warhead charts, I bet the anti-Monster Magnet talk will cease.

Victim of Changes is a good Sabbathian tune. Halford really hit the helium for this one.

Henry ate #56

I dunno if he likes black metal, henry do you like black metal?

56 is one I voted for btw

Henry cough it up

56.
Cromagnon - Caledonia (1969) (355 Points, 11 voters)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPiO_G-DEHs

OMG OMG this is an xpost I am so excited OMG OMG. Anyway, scheduled update on youtubes:

Boston – More Than a Feeling: Aaaargh no. Please, no. The handclaps, they taunt me. I preferred it when I used to imagine the title being sung to the tune of ‘More Than a Woman’. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to stick this one out. Well, after the insipidness of this, at least we get...

Iron Maiden – Number of the Beast: Hahahaha! I don’t really like this, but at least it is fun, and a million times better than Boston. This is what I always think of when ‘metal’ is mentioned, by the way. Great video, too.

Jane’s Addiction – Mountain Song: Is it okay to just say ‘yawn’ and move on? Bland.

Witchfinder General – Burning a Sinner: I liked the last one by these guys, so I have some hope for this. And yeah, it’s pretty good. Feels like it drags a bit more, maybe? Or possibly I just need another coffee. And a bit more soloing in the middle, too. I like the chorus, though, we need more incantatory witchiness here. Also, are all of their songs thematically linked to their name? Are they a proper concept band?

Dio – Holy Diver: This is taking its time to get going. An even longer intro than Danzig’s one. And oh god, I hate it from the first ‘mmmmm-hmmmm’. Oh no, hang on, I actually know this one. And yeah, I don’t like it. But the video is pretty funny, and makes the song infinitely more bearable.

Melvins – Boris: Boredom hits me twenty seconds in, and there’s another eight minutes to go. FFS, why do all my friends like these guys? I AM SO BORED. It’s not like they’re doing anything clever or interesting with the form here, this is just unadulterated tedium. ARRRRGH. I actually can't finish this one. Can I go and listen to ‘Number of the Beast’ again, please?

I dunno if he likes black metal, henry do you like black metal?

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, August 4, 2010 3:59 PM (2 minutes ago)

Yes but only the trv kvlt stuff, not this poser stuff that gets actually released and distributed.

EVERYBODY WHO VOTED FOR CALEDONIA, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. You have all made my day. Thank you, guys.

was my #5

Because this made the list, I hope emil.y promises to hang around and post on the albums thread.

If its black metal, fuck it, dont bother posting it.

Not familiar with that Caledonia song, its pretty good.

it was a joke bill. Caledonia has proto-black metal vox

I'll be on the albums thread, sure, but probably won't be posting as much, as it's tougher to respond to whole albums that you haven't heard before than single songs.

you can live blog the album covers then!

did you expect Caledonia to place?

whoa that cromagnon song is A+++++, how have i not heard that before

I certainly wasn't expecting it to get higher than about 70, so that came as a total surprise. Although squealing like a schoolgirl with delight is probably not a very metal response to it placing, is it?

is the whole cromagnon album that insane and awesome?

The rest of the album is possibly more insane, but it turns into less of a song-based album and more of a torture chamber sound effects album. Which I think is awesome, but your mileage might vary.

I mean, pretty much exactly like an *actual* sound effects album, not using that figuratively or anything. It's very strange.

I think you might like it, though.

yeah nurse with wound is still my top last.fm artist i think so i should probably go obtain this right about now

its nothing like caledonia. highly experimental.

55.
Led Zeppelin - Dazed And Confused (1969) (356 Points, 10 votes)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdMHUDsolFs&feature=related https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4b5KiJV73w&feature=related

They made it!

Posted the bbc sessions version cuz its amazing.