THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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the only problem with that FF lyric is i can't remember Terry Wogan ever being on BBC2.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:28 (nineteen years ago) link

the other problem with the lyric is it's so pleased with itself and i don't know why: it's not just that divers critics and fans think ff is clever; it's also that the band clearly concur.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost)

true! i guess they wanted to mention the bbc for whatever up-sucking reason, and "I'm on bbc2 now" sounds better than the (more factual but more vague for non-Brits) "I'm on Radio 2 now" would.

Damn them and their inaccuracy! Damn them to hell!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

well the lyric is a brag disguised as nonchalance isn't it? so you could argue Kapranos is singing it in character. an annoying character indeed but perhaps that is the point.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

divers critics and fans think ff is clever.

I like that one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Franz seem to be an intelligent band. True, not all of them went to art school, but they're not one of these bands who pretend to be thickos in order to look "cool". It's just a shame they didn't comission as interesting features as they did in the Guardian. That said, Nick McCarthy deserves a round of applause for commissioning a piece on the German music scene.
The Glasgow hot spots list wasn't very good - the choices were fine, it's just the writer didn't have a clue. Stephen Pastel's Monorail, the best record shop in Scotland, is merely a "vinyl section" in a cafe (wouldn't want to big that shop up too much, cos it might introduce people to a world of musical possibilities far beyond Conor McNicholas's wildest dreams!), while Stereo is in a part of town populated by "purple faced" old alkies. Not when I lived there.
But I'm being pedantic.
It's a shame Franz didn't suggest art galleries or the like, cos Glasgow is producing some interesting stuff (Luke Fowler is the latest Scot to be nominated for the Becks prize) but maybe their suggestions were ignored. Wouldn't want to seem too intellectual.

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:46 (nineteen years ago) link

did EMF make the cover ?- i still play their first , still trying to get into t heir 2nd,i've returnred the 3rd and the greatst hits is not as good as their first.
s kids buy their first and then stop....

― graced boy, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:49 (nineteen years ago) link

it's true ff dont pretend to be hard to be cool; instead they pretend to be clever to look cool. pick your poison really, it's all pretense in pop. personally i can't stand that kind of arch 'cleverness', not least because it's often not as clever as it thinks. teh ferdinand's whinnying on 'mythology' being essential to music is not clever: it's an nme doxa which serves to cover up the musical conservatism of the bands it champions... like teh ferdinand.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:02 (nineteen years ago) link

(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:06 (nineteen years ago) link

over the holiday i discovered an old copy of the NME, c 1991, which had the cover story of the Inspiral Carpets touring America. Headline? Why "Allied Carpets" of course.

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 6 January 2005 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.
(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

-- kit brash (kitbras...), January 6th, 2005.
what;s all the covers - i know of cream cover

― forest freak, Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh no oh no oh no I'm having some traumatic recovered memory of this now...

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

[x-post] That's where it all went wrong, they don't do headline puns like they used to in NME now. or, um, anything really.

much as I'a enjoying the Carter/'Mef nostalgia - what's the bit in the Franz issue this week on fanzines, have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets? Or did I imagine that bit in the nme e-mailout i'm still stuck on?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I knew there was something I wanted to look at in the NME but I totally missed it when flicking through in the shop. Oh well, back up the road then...
I doubt they included my zine - but the List did. (shameless plug alert)
http://beardmag.blogspot.com

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago) link

have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets?

Fraid not. There are a couple DIY kinda things, plus the very good Robots & Electronic Brains and Black Velvet, which is a strange glossy covered thing that mainly features glam rock and Lostprophets and the like

― DJ Mencap0))), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago) link

yay Robots!
why on earth Black Velvet though, longevity....?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I have no idea. Maybe it's the first hit in a google search for 'fanzine', or something. The piece was written by James Jam, though, and he should have a clue about this sort of thing.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 6 January 2005 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

The best nme.com of all time?

spoof

― Rubber Ogden, Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Well weapon!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:03 (nineteen years ago) link

haha, the 'Queens Of Noise are great' headline links to the Auto Trader website

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha, even better than the real thing.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:17 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha

― NRQ, Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Good work that man.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 March 2005 11:15 (nineteen years ago) link

six months pass...

http://nme.com/images/69_190905_killers_cover.jpg

NME comes out every Wednesday, is priced a mere £1.90 and is available in all good newsagents.

This Week
New Look NME! More Reviews! Bigger Radar! All new sections!

Needless to say, it's shit. The reviews have moved to the center pages (probably would work better if there was more of them, probably only moved them to disguise the lack of interviews), a horrible new font which looks like it's out of a student magazine (probably the intention) WHICH THEN CHANGES HALFWAY THOROUGH to a 'serious' font with those serif things on for the hard-hitting interview with The Killers about shampoo or oranges or stamps, or something.

There's even a strangely apologetic "Editor's Letter" from Conor McFuck where his gist is essentially "We don't know why we changed it".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Who the fuck are "Arctic Monkeys"?

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:35 (eighteen years ago) link

one pound ninety!?

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The killers are pig ugly, and their music sucks shit through a straw.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

...so i guess i won't be buying nme this week either.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:06 (eighteen years ago) link

becuase the journos are not used to listening to anything good/interesting.

― hmmm (hmmm), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:48 (eighteen years ago) link

It looks like a free magazine my bank would send me to let me know about all the interesting people that have accounts with them.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:59 (eighteen years ago) link

NO, it's-ah pashmina-ah that sucks-ah shit-ah through-ah a straw-ah!

― Mark E. Smith, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 11:15 (eighteen years ago) link

the one with shaun ryder and his nose full of cocke.

― hub, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link

If a publisher launched a new weekly music magazine - they would wipe the floor with competition so weak as the NME.

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I have said it before - but there must be a publisher out there with the guts to take on a weak and sickly NME ! ...and launch a new music magazine.. the time is right NOW

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:05 (eighteen years ago) link

imposter ALERT ! YOU Cheeky parody MONKEY !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:12 (eighteen years ago) link

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), September 21st, 2005.

The lyrics are "look into my eyesssss/you arrrrrre gettttinnnnng sleeeeepppppyyyy"

― ken taylrr has gone off the internet because of you (ken taylrr), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:13 (eighteen years ago) link

oh come on. its a good mag. and you are all a bunch of tossers who nothing better to do then complain!

― lipzo tyson, Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Cutting.

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Have they spelt Shaun Ryder's name wrong on that front page?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:32 (eighteen years ago) link

LOL

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I like that it says "Oasis" TWICE on the cover.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

taking sides Momus NME Vs Strokes NME

http://www.nme.com/images/69_270905_strokes_cover.jpg

[Strokes a band that are so naff 2001]

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:48 (eighteen years ago) link

MAD NEW SOUND!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahahahahaha "The Single That Will Change Everything...Again"

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link

That cover has convinced me that the NME staffers need to have their coke allowance withdrawn, pronto.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Did the Strokes get a new Julian?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link

"the single that will change everything back to the way it was before, sorry about that"

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"The Soundtrack of YOUR Summer".

read: "We tell YOU what to listen to and you will do it".

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 22:08 (eighteen years ago) link

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