sometime i read christgau and am amazed...

sounds like the Justice League of Rock Crits

xpost Anthony Xgau's writing is full of metaphors, assuming that this would be another one doesn't seem too silly to me.

I did :(

It's not REALLY a comeback record though, is it?

Dude "No Exit" feels like ages ago though. I've heard ppl talking about Neil Hannon's return from a "hiatus" w/r/t the new Divine Comedy album, so I figure calling Blondie's latest a comeback is fair game.

Even if some of your audience does understand you, and even if more of them accept a certain level of obscurity in your writing?

I find myself oft-frustrated by the HM's, even though I know what the classification is about. But those who don't should recognize )(as I understand it) that the HM's are for fans and are recommended to non-fans only with caution. Whether that's implicit in the format for most people, I'm not sure. Regardless of fandom, however, are the HM's usually more cryptic than the As? Perhaps the idea is that you should have to work harder to figure out if you really want the thing, whether or not you're a fan?

I struggled w/ the second one, the best I could come up w/ was that Xgau thinks that Blondie wishes eclecticism was a more powerful tool than it is ("catholic tastes", you see?)

fantastic

What's the fun in separating the two?

It took me a minute to realize that, if these lyrical snippets were all he was referring to, the ret of it must relatively recognizable as a Blondie record. (I'm assuming it's not a grand concept album or a samba experiment, and I'd expect him to note if it were.)

But taking a minute to read between the lines isn't gonna kill anyone.

"By the way, in case nobody pointed out what I would have assumed is obvious but obviously i'm no judge about that sort of thing, the "reincarnation" part refers not ONLY to a song lyric, but also to, uh, Blondie's CAREER. (i.e. this is sort of a COMEBACK record). Which is kinda clever, since there are TWO meanings to not get, not just one! He said THREE things about the album in just ten words!
-- chuck (cedd...), April 22nd, 2004."

Yeah, but if one to infer a metaphor from "reincarnation" then one can't be criticized for inferring one from "wishes the pope had a bigger dick."

Thus, were I editing him, I would request he clarify thusly:
BLONDIE
The Curse of Blondie
(Sanctuary)

Believes in reincarnation ("Shakedown"), wishes the pope had a bigger dick ("End to End").

It hangs deep in his robes, a delicate
clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves, a ghostly fish in a
halo of silver seaweed, the hair
swaying in the dark and the heat - and at night,
while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.

----- Sharon Olds

Why would you "assume" that? This idea that every review of a particular record has to say the same things about makes no sense at all to me. What if he thought the samba or grand concept weren't IMPORTANT?? What if he thinks, as I do, that Grand Concepts are almost NEVER important, and rarely have anything to do with what might make a record worth listening to??

x post

By the way, I thought David Cross's singles reviews in the new Rolling Stone were way funnier than his ones in Spin a few months ago, by the way. (But he still doesn't resemble me in the picture.)

GTR
Sht.

Because it's called a Consumer Guide. And this is listed under "Other Consumer News." Please don't say "Oh, he's being ironic, you moron." Just don't.

"This idea that every review of a particular record has to say the same things about makes no sense at all to me."
I didn't say it did. I WAS praising this review for hitting the distinctive bits and not bothering with what everyone already knows. Now I'm not so sure.

"What if he thought the samba or grand concept weren't IMPORTANT?? What if he thinks, as I do, that Grand Concepts are almost NEVER important, and rarely have anything to do with what might make a record worth listening to??"

Maybe you're right about the Grand Concept. But if it were a salsa record, would that be a less salient fact of "what might make a record worth listening to" then a couple of lyric snippets?

"Or what if he thought they were SORT OF important, but not as important as the fact that there are songs about reincarnation and penile lengths and girths within Vatican City, and he said, "oops, I only have ten words! Better stick to what REALLY MATTERS here?"

Then I might buy the Blondie album, find out that he completely missed the boat on the most distinctive thing about the album, figure that his priorities regarding music are completely worthless to me, and never read him again.

Jesus, Chuck. Like I said, I WAS praising this review. Now I'm not so sure.

Great - now my mind's eye is flashing on the cover shot of Can't Slow Down.

In the immortal words of Alice Cooper, "GOOD NIGHT!"

Yes blount, the refusal to indulge rock critics who care more about being prose stylists than giving their readers some idea what the recordings under discussion sound like is the first step on the slippery slope to an imperialist plutocracy.