Simon Reynolds is a gobshite

I always forget how shockingly hot Simon Reynolds is.

Thread, you may go on.

"And if '01 in garage = '96 in jungle, there's at least one or two more years of *generally* good music."

That was prescient.

Unless he meant UK garage, which I never really listened to and then it was gone.

Simey on "The Roxy Music Story" on BBC4. Billed as a 'Cultural Commentator'

"Roxy Music what was that all about eh eh couldn't tell man or woman was it the fifties or the noughties it was like Blake's Seven only with flares"

I tried to watch it but really it was such a lovefest i gave up.

And Mr Reynold's cultural commentary was hardly groundbreaking.

Paul Thompson! Hero!

"Ah cannat wear these Bryan, I divven't want me mam'll thinking I'm some kind of heemasexual, man"

Was the show deliberately timed to coincide with Otis Ferry's arrest for threatening a key witness in his theft and assault of women trial?

Quipped cultural commentator Bobby Gillespie: "Ah gie'd ma old Rolo wrappers tae Brian Eno in exchange fir some Barrett's sweet cigarettes an' next thing ah know thur he is oan TOTP wi' yon Roxy Music wearin' thum and the oscillator he nicked oot our O Grade Physics class. Mind you it sounded a wee bit better than ma suggestion thut he should play the recorder."

xxp
Yeah, Thompson should have have been in it more, deflating the pretentiousness. More him, less Eno. More music would have been good as well. Just as a song was kicking in bloody Bono pops up to tell us something wholly unoriginal about it.

What was the point of Roxy Music if not pretentiousness?

Mind you, yes; the "you're too stupid to sit still and listen to/watch a piece of music for three minutes" policy of these programmes is very tiresome.

Bob: "Next ah tried to get yon Andy Mackay tae play the recorder, but the cunt wahnts to play a fuckin' oboe! That's no' very fuckin' rock n' roll is it?"

What was the point of Roxy Music if not pretentiousness?

The toons, man, the toons!

No, I was right.

Quipped Andy Mackay: "That doss cunt Gillespie couldnae blow a single note oan the oboe whin the music teacher passed it roond the class. He might've hud a better chance if his goab hadnae been stuffed wi' the Bazooka Joe chewin' gum he nicked aff wee Lydon in second year."

Unless you mean "toons" in the Terrytoons sense.

Bob: "An' ah said, listen Mackay, jist 'cos yer da' is in "Porridge" ye think ye're gallus... well ye're no'! Ye're bogus, man!"

And thus was Mackay replaced early on in Roxy Music by saxman Rikki Fulton, whose acclaimed 1974 solo outing Can Ah No Park Ma Bike Oan Evan Parker? has been known to reach prices on ebay in excess of 80p.

Genuine lol^

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2009/mar/05/wonky-ketamine-dubstep-zomby

if the grau had any sack it'd pay reynolds hard cash to, idk, try some drugs and listen to dance music in way that doesn't involve firing up youtubes.

lol he quotes an "expert" on ketamine, who turns out to be an anonymous bbc online news reporter

These Bobby G skits turn up in the unlikeliest of threads (xxxp)

He could have asked me. It did make me feel wonky tbh, like Morph.

No mention of the 'chopped and screwed' scene of Hosuton. Their drug of choice is 'lean' and has very similar effects. This is the obvious source of the UK's K scene. Not aware of it Simon?

these FUCKING people

funny that when i've been out to see Rustie most people were just drunk, or on pills, or cocaine. i suppose you couldn't make a crap piece for the Guardian out of that though.

and that most people i know who've been to/live in Berlin say that speed is extremely popular, more so than K.

but again, Simey couldn't make a crap connection between minimal and wonky if he stuck to the truth.

hate this whole idea of 'synergy' between drug and music tbqh. lurking behind it is some really dubious deleuzian 'man machine' ish. no idea what the appeal of it is as a meme.

I hate it not because of the dubious ideas that might be lurking behind it but because it's just complete bullshit make it up as you go along filler for crap articles like that.

Don't get the obsession with having some sort of theory to account for all new trends in music.

Wonky as a style of music is surely not defined enough at this stage to start boxing it up w/ this drug or that drug shurely... I mean when its proponents are playing out it's almost always going to be on bills primarily dedicated to more established styles amirite

Wonky just seems to be a catch-all term for 'music we can't categorise elsewhere' afaik.

I think there's value in charting musical trends and scenes and i guess whatever drugs were popular or what might have influenced, it just needs to be done much later. that kind of thing doesn't lend itself to up-to-the-minute blogging.

I don't really agree with that, since any look at this in hindsight will only intensify the inaccurate, wishful thinking, wild conjecturing nature of these kind of observations.

haha

Presumably Reynolds actually went to raves back in the day, clearly he doesn't go out to clubs playing wonky now, but that doesn't make his contention about hardcore that "pills got speedy, this made the music darker and weirder" any less than just syllogism.

seems the prime source for that article was a year old thread on dissensus. Noone but crust punk injectors do k in berlin and the only dubstep fans that do it are smelly hoodied d&b refugees. This is even less informed than the sunday times style mag piece on dinner party k use nad thats saying something

wonky? donk? funky?

it seems like british people add one noise or rhythm to something and then give it a whole new name every week.

i can't keep up any more, guys

is "bass line" a style of music too?

(didn't read the article, but i generally like simon's writing btw)

I buy maybe an argument that certain drugs appeal more in certain places and times, and maybe coincide nicely with certain musical trends in those places. But this "X drug makes depressing sounding music because X makes you depressed," stuff is nonsense. People don't immediately start loving reggae the moment they smoke a joint. Let alone start writing it.

lolneurofunk.jpg

I am pretty sure I have never heard any wonky but it has been given attention so disproportionate to amount of actually existing music that it's bound to be hated by many before anyone ever hears any of it.

it's more like prelash these days, not backlash

I buy maybe an argument that certain drugs appeal more in certain places and times, and maybe coincide nicely with certain musical trends in those places. But this "X drug makes depressing sounding music because X makes you depressed," stuff is nonsense. People don't immediately start loving reggae the moment they smoke a joint. Let alone start writing it.

― Mordy, Thursday, 5 March 2009 16:12 (8 minutes ago)

i think the connection in some cases is a lot stronger than that, but i agree with this k piece it's way spurious. people on k are always going to be in the minority in any crowd (and that's a good ting)

lash-foward

i dont know, go on a night out in manchester and leeds and the place is literally dripping with the stuff

this has nothing to do with what hes on about though