Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

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The way I see it, Allison is caught between our snarkiness and the fact that practically none of the other fans who have posted here have any sense of perspective.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 25 July 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Alright - after further anesthetizing my sensibilities, I can accept the 30-second clip of "Don't Drink the Water" as passable. (That's probably the song that true DMB fans hate, isn't it....)

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 25 July 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

snarkiness keeps me entertained at work, at least.

and that makes it all worthwhile.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 25 July 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually it's one of my favorites. It's only 30 seconds though, you didn't get to hear the part where he freaks out and goes into a trance-like state.

― Allison (Allison), Friday, 25 July 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Matthews is on the local alt-rock morning show right now, previewing songs from his new "solo album." He's kind of funny, in a pleased-with-himself way. The songs are atmospheric but dull. I think I like them better than the songs (I've heard) with the "B."

― Sam J. (samjeff), Friday, 25 July 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't stand that don't drink the water song. it was funny at first but now it's just damned silly.

― Felcher (Felcher), Friday, 25 July 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Funny? I guess I didn't listen very carefully. (Actually, i didn't listen to the words at all.) I just thought that musically it was more interesting than what else I've heard.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 25 July 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Christ, I remember looking in on this thread in its infancy, the very day it was birthed.
And look, it's gotten so big.
I just spent two hours reading this thread, and I have to admit, it was fan-freakin'-tastic.
It had everything — drama, conflict, comedy, tragedy, mysterious strangers, and if I read between the lines correctly, maybe even a little romance.
Thank you to all the posters for such an entertaining read — from the ILM regulars, who didn't disappoint, to the DMB legions who rushed to their idol's defence.
This thread is pure gold.
Somebody should allow some magazine to serialize this. Or ILM could sell the movie rights.
Oh, and Dave Matthews rox Uruguay.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Friday, 25 July 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Would Careless Talk Costs Lives be improved if they ran a cover story on Dave Matthews Band? Everett True should interview Dave Matthews.
ET could be responsible for inflic....launching the genius of DMB in the UK. (Getting him away from us all in the states for a while)

― Allannah, Friday, 25 July 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

And Q magazine can run one of those "Big...in Turkmenistan!" micro-stories.
But anyhow... back to what Bruce Urquhart brought up:
Christ, I remember looking in on this thread in its infancy, the very day it was birthed.
And look, it's gotten so big
Sigh. Yeah. 15% of the blame falls on my head. I'm sorry, everybody.
(PS: the Secret of Life is not -- repeat, not -- hidden anywhere in this thread.)

drama, conflict, comedy, tragedy, mysterious strangers, and if I read between the lines correctly, maybe even a little romance.
Um...romance?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I love you all.

― Dave Matthews, Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

See. Romance.
Plus, they would probably deny it, but I could feel the heat between Alex in NYC and Allison.
Raw, animal heat. Or antipathy. It's a fine line.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The words "Groovy Hate Fuck" come to mind, but I won't voice that thought out loud because it would be low, lewd, sad, crass and wrong.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

come on out and dance!
come on out and dance!
come on out and make romance!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, i'd give $5 for a Groovy Hate Fuck right about now. Maybe i should go out wandering about the town tonight instead of wasting the evening playing video games again.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah...here's the romance.
Does anyone on ILM wanna give Kingfish a Groovy Hate Fuck?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I Hate You All.

― Jaz Coleman, Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Up For The 2003 Shortlist Prize !!!
http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1942690

― Dave Matthews Band Fan, Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

erm i meant to type hes one of the list makers (he chooses his favorite albums that have sold less than 500,000)

― Dave Matthews Band Fan, Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

This year marks the third annual competition, which, like the U.K.'s Panasonic Mercury Prize, honors projects for their creative and adventurous appeal rather than their commercial success.

ADVENTUROUS?!

oh well. at least ?uestlove is in there.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Thursday, August 7
THE DAVE MATTHEWS COVER BAND
Phenomenal Musicianship
Faithfully Recreating the
DMB Sound
Doors 8 pm
Show 9:30 pm
Tickets: $10
On Sale Now

WHOA!!!!! I want to go I think.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Saturday, 26 July 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: the DMB Cover Band Xtreme-o-ganza!
"When you know that the showers are really gas chambers, you don't look forward to being 'clean' "

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 28 July 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll have tendonitis in my hand if this thread reaches 2000

― Dave Matthews, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Lose my voice at 3000

― Dave Matthews, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll probably spontaneously combust at 5000.

― Dave Matthews, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:03 (twenty-two years ago)

But the bongo solo doesn't stop until 10,000.

― Carter Beauford, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Does the DMCB take over at 10,000?

― Franklin Ambrose (Franklin Ambrose), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i think we get a blue star if we hit 2000, and a red star if we hit 5000

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Entire forum gets a Free Trip to EuroDisney if we reach 10,000 posts!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, did someone ask for a groovy hate fuck? Count me in...if the thread's a'rockin don't come a'knockin!

― Allison (Allison), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Kingfish. Your "ride" is here!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

woo hoo! strap yerself in, cuz we're driving to Edinburgh to go see Spiritualized! You shall Truly become One of Us!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread has all the tell tale markings of something that should never be forgotten...
like the challenger, or that hepburn lady, or yellow cake with chocolate icing! so moist and chewy...

allison r0x0rs.
fuk yesh.

― eedd, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Hepburn was moist and chewy??????

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

she is now

― Felcher (Felcher), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

oh god...

― Allison (Allison), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps you'd rather Haul Ass to Lollapalooza?*

*i might add that this is actually possible this year, unlike others, altho why anyone would actually want to do so is beyond any of us.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

she is now
I suspect she's more like beef jerky soaked in formaldehyde.

Anyhow: let's recap shall we?

Okay:
the official reasons for hating him as provided by ILM:

- "The timbre of Dave's voice is often extraordinarily ugly. He sounds like he's trying to form all of his vowels with the roof of his mouth." (aka "he sounds like a muppet") - "The fiddle-timbre of the violin grates against the horns, making it nigh-impossible for them to play in tune together." - "Their songs register to my ears as very safe. They never take any extreme or unpredictable turns; in fact, you could probably find the basic chord progressions of most of the songs in a second-semester theory class. I understand that a huge reason for this is to give a solid foundation on which to solo, but the solos don't sparkle or impress." - "I've never heard them let their bass player get seriously ill. Given how great I think their bass player might be, this is criminal." - Some of his lyrics (especially the "lift your skirt and show me your world") strike some as dumb, irksome or even sexist. - Overexposure has made him so ubiquitous that he's no longer novel or fresh. - He lifts the vibe from other more talented bands, and adds screechy violin as the only signifier of difference. - His fast songs are ones that would sound better slow. His slow songs would sound better fast. - All of his songs nowadays sound (to me, at least) to just be murkier, smudgier, less interesting retreads of "Ants Marching"; (The Same way everything by Live sounds like a murkier, smudgier, less interesting retreads of "The Beauty of Gray".)

the offical reasons for loving him as provided by the DMB fanbase:

- Dave r0x0r! u r all gay! - U R All Gay! Dave r0x0r! - If you were to actually HEAR his music you'd like it.

Note: I didn't say "Pain Lies on the Riverside"...and this is tragic. If they just stuck to making retreads of "Pain Lies on the Riverside", they'd still suck, but they'd have been 1000x better.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry. that footnote is a bit muddled.
Live making retreads of "Beauty of Gray" == tiresome crud
Live making retreads of "Pain Lies on the Riverside" == tiresome crud but still toetappingly fun in small doses.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

no, not that hepburn woman! the yellow cake!
i suspect that was my bad, as the children say...

― eedd, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

She currently is not moist and chewy. By now, she's probably a dried out peice of Zesty Formaldehyde Flavor™ Beef Jerky with a dusty dandruff-like crust on it.
(Yes, children...death is scary. So you better have fun while yer still alive.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, that silly Custos.
I can't help but notice that you omitted the few good points that a couple fans and I did actually make. Why is this?

― Allison (Allison), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i noticed that to. if it weren't the case i would've surely nominated him as captain of this thread, since he obviously cares for it so deeply. but we can't have a leader who's quite so biased.

― Felcher (Felcher), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I correct in assuming that you don't want to admit that some of us are actually somewhat intelligent and have musical knowlege? hmph...well, if that's the case you can just forget about that groovy hate fuck.

― Allison (Allison), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

romance factor fading...
fading..
gone.

(if ever run into a hepburn relative i'll pose the question to them, and we'll see! moist+chewy vs. jerkyish+flakey!!!)

― edde, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Custos in not-fair shockah.

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

hang on a min -- i just got back.

now, what's all this about the groovey hate fuck going away?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, you still get yours, Kingfish.

― Allison (Allison), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't help but notice that you omitted the few good points that a couple fans and I did actually make. Why is this?
Well, These were the only points I remember the pro-DMB crowd making. I've read through this thread from beginning to end twice (once when the thread was 800 posts long, and again when it was 1200 posts long) and the only pro-DMB comments that stuck to my brain were that ILM was gay for not seeing how much DMB rocks...and that if we only gave it another try...

if it weren't the case i would've surely nominated him as captain of this thread...
Nominate me? For Captain? BAH! I'm already LORD of this thread, by Divine Right!

...since he obviously cares for it so deeply.
I love all threads equally, like my own children.
I still wait for the Meaning of Life to be revealed in this thread.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 31 July 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, also, I was trying to keep this thread going to see if it would ever match/exceed any the Jay-Z vs Nas threads for sheer length.
I think we're 2/3rds of the way to matching The Original Jay-Z vs Nas Thread...
Unless someone wants to add their opinion to that thread...

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 31 July 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

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