Village Voice's F2K

i'm writing tomorrow's post and i want to die

TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM

i bet miccio's gonna be defending this one

Well, Brian "Head" Welch, to be more precise.

nah, I meant "lol that's right, no wonder I confused the two of these hilarious chumps"

Simple Plan?? Good Charlotte?? (xpost)

Baby Hugh Hef, that's my name
Korn brings the porn and a little of the fame
Baby Hugh Hef, that's my name
Fieldy's got game so you better be warned
Baby Hugh Hef, will mack in the sack
Dr. Dreams got game, that's my rep
Baby Hugh Hef, that's my name
Fieldy's Dreams... that's part of my game

"Argh! Fuck you! Fucking rapping Hamburglar in the McDonald's commercial stopped rhyming "name" with "game" somewhere in 1987."

Love this. Reads like someone screaming in impotent rage at MTV.

Somehow I find myself completely uninterested in what the other parts of his game are. The parts other than "Fieldy's Dreams", I mean.

Simple Plan??

simple plan only exists to bolster my defense of good charlotte.

I was so enraged when Clem compared AYWKUBTTOD to Simple Plan on Dancing. So. Enraged.

9!

There is so much worse shit on the list than this song, shouldn't be top 10 imho.

ok i don't hate that song. i understand how it is 'bad' but i wouldn't turn the radio off if it came on.

Except...It's not bad.

that song is awful but i know for certain there is at least one worse ashlee simpson song out there

even maura's article doesn't seem to have similar bile aimed at it compared to the 10s.

OK I'm officially lodging a protest.

i love "la la" and have actually been inspired to rediscover it b/c of that post, but i'm not going to put too much energy into defending it b/c there are at least 20 way superior ashlee songs - i'll definitely be down w/defending her as one of this decade's best artists though

Why did I know this would provoke a reflexive reaction on here.

I do not like "La La" but the opening sounds like Ministry or something so I'll take it over "L-O-V-E" or whatever

Best song on this tally so far is a contest between Ashlee and the Toby Keith (from two of the better albums of the decade, both from artists who made a couple of great ones, fwiw). But yeah, not worth expending more energy defending either here.

LLCoolJ ftw when we poll these

Quite honestly, after hearing Cosmo Jarvis for the first time I don't know if there's anything that will be revealed in the top 10 that can compete with him in terms of irredeemable awfulness, so even though I don't like this song I can't muster up a reaction stronger than "not as bad as Cosmo".

xhuxk, unless this is some sustained gag I'm not getting, can you explain why the Toby Keith song isn't ignorant, badly written, breathtakingly offensive dogshit?

There was one Ashlee Simpson song I liked a lot. This isn't it, but this isn't a bad song either. I don't get why it's on the list.

some sustained gag I'm not getting

There are some who believe this phrase could describe Chuck's entire writing career.

fyi i <3 all these ashlee songs a lot more than "la la", and her first two albums are SO classic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ng7k0owgrE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMlVbU50ULY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQkZ73PVjK8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fRjLajv1Yo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-bCN2ur3pg

can you explain why the Toby Keith song isn't ignorant, badly written, breathtakingly offensive dogshit?

Nah, not here I won't. (And I've never said it wasn't ignorant or offensive, anyway; just that it's a great song.) But I've written about the guy plenty; take yr pick:

http://www.villagevoice.com/2008-05-13/music/please-stop-belittling-toby-keith/

http://www.thesinglesjukebox.com/?p=1196

There's a short Voice review of Shock 'N Y'all somewhere on the web too, but I can't find it right now.

The Toby Keith song is a totally valid artistic expression even if I find it repulsive; it is a lot easier to defend "mess with us and we'll fuck you up" sentiment than something like that godawful Darrel Worley "I am humping the dead bodies of 9/11 victims for $$$$$$" piece of trash.

There is a certain level where I will give Toby Keith a pass in that he is a guy who holds somewhat conflicting opinions; it's pretty rare to see someone stand up and self-identify as a "rah-rah-USA-number-one-love-it-or-leave-it" type who swings left on most cultural issues. It doesn't make his song any better but it does put it in a more interesting context.

It still deserves to be on this list, though, because jingoism is never a good look no matter how fascinating the person promoting it is.

xp Left out this one:

http://blog.rhapsody.com/2008/12/trace-adkins-peaks-while-toby-keith-phones-it-in.html

i've never been in the Ashlee fanclub cru but "La La" is the one song of hers I really like. it came out around the same time "Since U Been Gone" and for a while I kind of mentally grouped those songs together and considered them more or less equal.

I am in the Ashlee fanclub cru (Lex, your dues have been outstanding for about three months now and we do revoke T-shirt privileges) and will obviously defend this song, though what I think is unfortunate about it is that it makes a lot more sense on an album in which it's followed by the non-single material, starting with "Love Makes the World Go Round" -- the album is quite mundane (in subject matter; it's about the mundane) and "La La" isn't exactly representative of Ashlee's persona as a stand-alone piece. It's a single and many of the best tracks on that album ("Love Me for Me," "Better Off," "Undiscovered") aren't, for one thing. But the ridiculousness of "La La" makes more sense to me in the context of her being a fairly ordinary person -- the "I'm singing a sexy song" conceit is (intentionally) an awkward fit, but I think the song is SUPPOSED to be pretty awkward (read: funny) -- has any other female singer ever offered to dress up like a football player to get a guy off?

has any other female singer ever offered to dress up like a football player to get a guy off

How does everyone keep misinterpreting this lyric? The line is "you can throw me like a lineman", implying that the guy is the football player in the equation and she is the person being thrown around. It's about rough sex, not costumery.

can't it be both

Wow, can't believe I have now conflated those two lines TWICE today. Since I thought I'd memorized this song! Anyway, I think the humor is in the juxtaposition -- dirt & diamonds, lineman and French maid, mile high club & back of the bus...

that's not why it makes me laugh

I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the 50-yard-line where the Dirty Birds kick for three

― ATLlien intruder (ludacris), September 9, 2000 4:18 PM (nine years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Also downplaying the amount of pleasure Ashlee gets out of this, since the key line in the bridge is "I can be myself tonight." I think there's a point when the tacked-on bridge is more formulaic than honestly revealing something about the rest of the song (Britney's "3" comes to mind, though she kind of undercuts her "oh hey just kidding it can just be the two of us" at the end there) but here I do think it's important.

Better articulated by another member of the fan club:

The point of “La La” is that Ashlee does feel comfortable in all of these different personas and places — the diamonds, the dirt, the tough athlete he can throw around, the French maid, the stray cat, the airplane, the bus, the boomerang that comes back to throw him as hard as he threw her, they are all Ashlee. The song isn’t about how she’ll pretend to be a bunch of things she’s not for him, it’s how she can be all the things she is with him. I mean, the bridge, for God’s sake.

does she often have sexy roleplay as a bus?

got no beef with ashlee but if that's the best defense...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raq8maAutAE

i've never been in the Ashlee fanclub cru but "La La" is the one song of hers I really like. it came out around the same time "Since U Been Gone" and for a while I kind of mentally grouped those songs together and considered them more or less equal.

― defend the indefensible: JUSTIN BIEBER, MAN (some dude), Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:00 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah this is true for me too -- i think its a pretty good song tbh

really weird choice for this honestly -- im in no way an ashlee fanclub dude but this track is a pretty banging pop song

& ok this is lol but it sounds like "bohemian like you"

thats neither here nor there wrt quality by the way

I mean, the bridge, for God’s sake.

Ashlee's pointing to the power give-and-take in these costumes in a way that Berlin isn't (Berlin is just kind of stating them, and most of them are merely labels and not specific characters) -- I'd compare her more to Electrik Red, who also have an interesting way of dealing with submissive/dominant roles in a fairly empowering way. Cue Tim Finney who, shock, said it much better than I could:

"Electrik Red see no contradiction between slave-driving dominance ("W.F.Y.") and slavish submission ("Bed Rest"), modern female independence ("Friend Lover") and its easy loss ("So Good"), mercantile sexual consumerism ("P Is for Power") and incommensurate sexual generosity ("Devotion").

If that sounds like a criticism, it's not meant to be: Electrik Red understand that we don't know what we want even when we sound like we do; if they seem to conflate love and sex a little too freely, well, life's like that when the going's good."

That passage immediately made me think of this song.

(x-post)

I bought a Toby Keith album based on xhuxk's recommendation, back before I knew better. Then I used search on all the albums I had bought from ILM recommendations in the previous year that I felt duped about. It was like 80% xhuxk.

(many xposts)

i dont really get whats objectionable about it -- & whiney's piece isnt clearing it up for me? its objectionable bcuz wanting to do it in the back of a bus is tmi?? so why dont u feel that way about the luda song? otherwise your only criticism is that someone told her to sound like melissa etheridge which, ok, ive never listened to her so whatever