I'm sick of it all! The "Everything that's wrong with Britain" Poll

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Inspired by Harry Simpson, the archetypal Daily Mail reader.
[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYZbMRzCMAAEQm5.jpg[img]

Poll Results

OptionVotes
having no money 6
British food 5
Joan Bakewell 4
Entire Labour Shadow Cabinet 3
pop music 2
Anglican bishops 2
All politicians 2
surveillance cameras 1
BBC 1
write-in option from Northwich, Cheshire 1
travellers 1
squatters 0
your rotten pension 0
terrorists 0
Vince Cable 0
Hugh Grant 0
Melvyn Bragg 0


I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:03 (eight years ago) link

gah fucked up the img tag

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYZbMRzCMAAEQm5.jpg

I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:04 (eight years ago) link

I voted British Food, obviously

, Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:05 (eight years ago) link

And I missed out Anne Robinson.

I'm sick of broken Britain's shoddy pollmanship. Bring back the twisted pollstarter.

I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:05 (eight years ago) link

Why no "self, self, self, moan, moan, moan" (in a letter full of selfish moaning no less) option?

Combat Fallacious Approval (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:05 (eight years ago) link

I'm v v tempted to vote for "Anglican bishops" because bishops are somehow inherently funny. (Not sure whether to blame Monty Python or my Mum's bishop.)

Combat Fallacious Approval (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:07 (eight years ago) link

You can write that in. My incomplete polling is a symptom of all that is wrong in Harry Simpson's very small world.

xp

I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:08 (eight years ago) link

Too late; I already went for bishops. Bloody disgrace, this poll, I'm off to vote Tory from Spain!

Combat Herbaceous Intrusions (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:10 (eight years ago) link

weird when you see it all laid out like that and you start thinking Vince Cable's face more worthy of a down vote than terrorism

I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:11 (eight years ago) link

"my rotten pension" and "having no money," eh?

Translation: I am a worthless pile of doodah who deserves everything I've got in life, I expect society to be my butler and, more than any of the things I mention, I hate myself. I hate being the only person who knows just how badly my parents/teachers/employers fucked me up. I hate all the chances in life I was given but didn't take. I hate all people who are better than me, have more talent/money/intelligence/hope/of a future than me. I hate the fact that so many other people seem to be living a better life than me. I hate the fact that I didn't make any money, or wasted the money I did make, because I was rubbish, and lazy, and incompetent, and I went about the few ideas I had so badly that they might as well not have occurred to me. Oh, and I'm also scared shitless of dying.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:22 (eight years ago) link

"Oh, MC, you're just projecting again." Well, I hope not; I hope I've done a little bit better than that.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:24 (eight years ago) link

This not another Henry Boot?

Mark G, Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:31 (eight years ago) link

or Henry Root?

whatev

Mark G, Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:37 (eight years ago) link

Willie Donaldson is much missed. I thought about whether this might be a wind-up but there seems to be a generalised desperation coming through, more desperate if it was just the Mail team making the letter up.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 20 February 2014 11:38 (eight years ago) link

letter reeks of parody to me, assumed it was from Viz at first

anyway, are we voting for the worst on this list or what?

we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:04 (eight years ago) link

I voted BBC, but then I would.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:21 (eight years ago) link

hard not to vote for the Entire Labour Shadow Cabinet, the political equivalent of a padlocked fire exit in an overcrowded nightclub

we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:22 (eight years ago) link

Specifically Rachel Reeves, the person Lance Percival could have been.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:23 (eight years ago) link

She is an economist and worked for the Bank of England between 2000 and 2006

future of socialism safe in our hands

we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:26 (eight years ago) link

in an alternate universe Harry recited his letter over a cheaply made dance backbeat instead of sending it to the Mail and it became a brief novelty smash a la Funk Dat by Sagat

imago bantz and the deems context (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:32 (eight years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Saturday, 22 February 2014 00:01 (eight years ago) link

Pro-tip, if u can't decide between Vince Cable and the Entire Labour Shadow Cabinet then a vote for 'all politicians' will encompass both #settheory

voted pop music tho.

UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 22 February 2014 11:43 (eight years ago) link

letter reeks of parody to me, assumed it was from Viz at first

It's from the Mail, a couple of years ago, but I wondered at the time if it was a sent in as a joke.

Alba, Saturday, 22 February 2014 11:55 (eight years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Sunday, 23 February 2014 00:01 (eight years ago) link

well that could be wrong with anywhere

j., Sunday, 23 February 2014 00:30 (eight years ago) link

rest in peace harry simpson

Hongro4/4Ass (wins), Sunday, 23 February 2014 01:22 (eight years ago) link

6 twee votes, 5 Americans votes, 4 born in the 1950s votes, 3 Ed Balls votes

we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 23 February 2014 01:50 (eight years ago) link

Joan Bakewell third?

Mark G, Sunday, 23 February 2014 16:56 (eight years ago) link


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